


As Long As You Love Me

by NiamJenn1994



Series: Put Your Lips Close to Mine as Long as They Don't Touch [3]
Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, F/M, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Mpreg Louis, Please don't read if it could trigger you, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-04 11:41:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 97,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3066566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamJenn1994/pseuds/NiamJenn1994
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry finally got their happily ever after. Three years later they still love each other if not more, they love their children who are their everything and love their parents just as much. With time comes new challenges but as long as they love each other they have everything, or that's what they thought.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>Ghost Of You Sequel</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Midnight doesn't last forever

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into English available: [As Long As You Love Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7378483) by [marcelowa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcelowa/pseuds/marcelowa)



> Hello again! This is the sequel of Ghost of You and I'm so excited for you guys to read it, I hope it doesn't end up being boring and horrible. 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Louis shifted around in his sleep groaning when he heard the tv booming loudly, probably in the keeping room to Tom & Jerry. He glanced at the clock seeing it was only 8:13 on a Sunday morning and after their hectic day the day before he just wanted to go back to sleep but couldn't when he heard Evan, his now four year old son screaming something unintelligible at the top of his lungs. He then heard a now nine year old Logan telling him to be quiet and like always, Evan did whatever his older sister wanted him to do shutting up immediately. He turned around expecting Harry to be sleeping on his side of the bed but he was nowhere to be found remembering why then decided to get up when he heard a loud bang then Evan's loud cries.

"I told you not to jump Bub." Logan sighed helping her younger brother up from the floor just as Louis walked in rubbing his eyes.

"What's going on? Logan...love, where's your dad?" Louis asked picking Evan up groaning when he wrapped his arms around his neck in a tight hold.

"He jumped off from the couch when I told him not to but he didn't listen, and daddy's getting breakfast 'cause he doesn't want to cook." Logan answered going back to the tv flipping through the channels lovingly petting a five year old Buttercup at the same time.

"Get your feet off the table. Where does it hurt baby?" Louis told her watching her move them then gave all his attention to Evan.

"Here...daddy didn't wanted me to go with him. I wanted to go with daddy." Evan cried holding onto his knee while Louis kissed it better.

"He didn't want to put his shoes and his coat on." Logan turned to look at them with a bored expression then went back to watching tv.

"Its okay bub, he'll be right back with food. Are you hungry?" Louis kissed his cheek then brushed his wavy hair to the back.

Evan's then dark brown and straight hair had slightly curled up on the ends now that it was longer while Logan's had stayed the same except that she kept it halfway down to her middle back. His son looked more like him than he did to Harry but he could see there was still a bit of his husband in their son.

"Yeah...daddy bringing me pancakes," Evan answered then lightly kicked Louis' stomach wanting to be put down and once he did he ran back to the couch to sit next to Logan where she immediately pushed his head down on her lap to cuddle him.

"How long have you been up?" Louis took a seat on her other side making Buttercup move to the floor by their feet as he kissed her cheek.

"I dunno. Why were you so tired? I tried to wake you up but daddy said you had a long night. Are you sick?" Logan rested her head against his chest then looked up at him with raised eyebrows wanting an explanation.

"I couldn't sleep that well and daddy kept kicking." Louis lied then began running his fingers through her hair distracting her away from the topic.

They watched cartoons in complete silence until Louis heard the garage door opening then closing sighing when buttercup leapt up from his spot running to the door where he started scratching at the door.

"Food's here! Better hurry up or I'm gonna eat it all." Harry's voice was heard throughout the house followed by a door closing.

Like always, Evan shot up from his spot and ran into the kitchen lightly pushing Buttercup out of the way then latched onto Harry's leg looking up at him with sparkly blue eyes and a dimpled smile. As soon as Logan got up and ran to the kitchen, Louis got up and slowly made his way over to them letting Harry wrap an arm around his waist.

"We'll talk about it later, babe." Harry said in a low voice so only Louis could hear him then sighed in relief when he nodded and ushered the kids to wash their hands.

Louis looked one more time at Harry then without saying anything he started eating his food listening to Evan talking about his favorite Power Ranger but not really paying any attention. His mind went back to last night's conversation that had ended up with Harry sleeping in one of the guest rooms. After they were done eating Louis helped Harry clean the mess Logan and Evan had made in complete silence until Harry had enough.

"Louis...we've talked about this. You know why I don't want more kids, plus we have enough with Logan and Evan." Harry turned around to see Louis already scowling at him.

"No. You have enough with them...Harry, I just want a baby. Just one more, that's all I'm asking for." Louis begged as he got closer wrapping his arms around his waist.

"No." Was Harry's final answer.

"You don't have to take care of it, I- I'll do it...I"ll take care of it and if you don't want to then you don't have to go with me to doctor's appointments, be there when its born or see it but please, just one more." Louis' eyes started flooding with tears thinking he had gotten his way when Harry hugged him but was disappointed when Harry started talking.

"That's not it Louis, I'm just scared they''ll be blind. Do you remember how hard it was to wait for Evan to be born just so we could know if he was blind or not? It doesn't matter if they're blind or not because I'll still love them with all my heart but that's a life I don't want for them. I would never forgive myself if you get pregnant and it turns out he or she is blind." Harry explained as best as he could not wanting to upset him.

"But there's a chance that he or she won't be blind..." Louis blinked the tears away feeling them tickling his skin as they rolled down his cheeks where Harry was quick to wipe away with the pad of his thumbs.

"I'm sorry but you already know my answer." Harry sighed kissing his forehead then walked out of there leaving Louis alone with a hand over his flat empty stomach.

He wanted to throw whatever he could find at Harry's retreating figure but instead took a deep breath and sat down on one of the bar stools thinking of ways to convince him. Minutes later he gave up when he couldn't think of anything, and when their sex life had been practically nonexistent for the past two months, the chances of getting pregnant by accident were zero percent.

He wiped his face free of tears then made his way downstairs where Harry had gone finding him on his back on the couch and Evan sitting on his stomach trying to tickle him. He walked past them and sat down on the recliner wondering if his marriage was going to hell when all he and Harry seemed to do was fight even for the stupidest things.

He remembers the first few years as being happy and perfect feeling like nothing could go wrong but everything started changing when Evan was no longer a baby. With time Louis started missing having a baby around the house and the first time he asked Harry to have another one was when Evan had just turned two. He had expected Harry to immediately say yes and get to it but he was left disappointed when Harry had flat out said no and two years later he was still set on not having anymore kids.

He couldn't help but envy Eleanor who had her own little six month old baby boy she and Liam had named Eric and even though they were always on and off he still envied her. Everything was going great for them until Eleanor got pregnant and that's when it started getting stressful for them and a few months into her pregnancy it ended in a break up only to get back together when Eric was born. Zayn and Niall were happier than ever with their three year old twins Chloe and Jeremy and at the moment they were happy with just the both of them since they were a handful.

"Daddy I need help with my homework." Logan snapped him out of his thoughts holding a white canvas with one hand and her small plastic basket full of brushes and different paints of many different colors with the other.

"Oh...what do you need help with sweetheart?" Louis asked ignoring Harry who was laughing his head off along with Evan. Their son was snuggled up against Harry's side with his father's arm around him.

"Mixing colors. I want to paint a sunset but I can't get the right color for it because I want the sky to look a pinkish color." Logan explained and Louis could tell she was getting frustrated by the way she was chewing on her bottom lip.

"Lets go sit at the table, I know the perfect colors to make the prettiest pink." Louis smiled getting up from the recliner following Logan to the table in the corner of their playroom that he had gotten so she could do her homework on.

"I want to use oil paint, I don't think acrylic looks good at all." Logan commented while Louis nodded agreeing with her.

"Remember that I can't help you paint it, you have to do that on your own." Louis said going through the section of the basket that held the oil paints shaking his head seeing many that were over a year old and were still unopened.

"I know." Logan mumbled trying to set everything up.

"Why do you- Harry did you get her more paints?" Louis looked his way not liking how he was spoiling her and rolled his eyes when Harry nodded not even bothering to look at him from his spot on the couch watching cartoons with Evan. "At least wait until she finishes the old ones. She has a few that are over a year old and are still unopened."

"She needed new ones so I got them for her." Harry looked at him then back at the tv.

"She has plenty of them." Louis argued.

"But I needed more colors and they only sell them with the whole pack." Logan quickly explained trying to stop them from getting into another argument like the one from the night before.

"That's why you mix them baby, so you can get new colors." Louis smiled a little sighing in relief when she relaxed well aware that she had heard them fighting.

Louis spent the rest of the afternoon helping her mix then watched her with a proud smile as she painted the scenery she had picked from the ones he had assigned the class. She was one of his students from the fourth grade (year 4) group after many parents had asked for an art program for the younger kids and Louis was so happy he just couldn't say no when they offered him the opportunity of teaching the younger kids and also a pay raise wasn't so bad when he was planning on having more kids.

That night after both Logan and Evan had gone to bed Louis had already showered and was already in bed waiting for Harry to finish showering so he could go to sleep and rest ready to face the next day. When Harry was done he quickly turned off the light and got under the covers making Louis smile when he wrapped his arms around him and kissed his forehead.

"Are you tired?" Harry mumbled feeling Louis nodding against his chest then his lips pressing against the skin there.

"Me too." Harry smiled.

"You know...its been so long since we've had time alone. Summer break is two months away in May and I think we should send the kids to my mum's or yours and go on a little vacation just the two of us." Louis spoke as he kissed up and down Harry's chest, a plan already forming in his head.

"Louis..." Harry sighed. "I already told you we're not having any more kids."

"This isn't about wanting more kids Harry. I thought it through and you're right, I think that with Logan and Evan we have enough. This is about us spending more time together...we barely have enough time for ourselves and I'm gonna die if you don't fuck me one of these days." Louis said smirking when Harry tightened his grip around him.

"We ran out of condoms." Harry said cursing himself for not buying a box earlier that day when he had to go to the store. 

"We don't need them." Louis slowly wiggled out of Harry's arms then moved around until he was straddling him fighting the urge to beg him to fuck him right there when Harry placed his hands on his hips.

"How long do we have?" Harry asked looking at the door then back at Louis rubbing circles on his warm and smooth skin with his thumbs.

"Thirty minutes, give or take." Louis answered then without warning leaned down and kissed Harry slowly moving his hips in circles feeling Harry getting hard against him where he could feel himself hardening.

Harry moaned into the kiss then whined when Louis pulled back to get rid of his own shirt and ended up helping him take it off making sure to leave it somewhere close to them. He placed his hands on his hips tightening his grip the more Louis moved until he had enough and flipped Louis onto his back where Louis was quick to spread his legs for him.

"Lock the door, lock the door." Louis said looking straight at the door then watched Harry getting off of him then running to lock it before he ran back to him.

By the time Harry was back Louis was on his hands and knees, sweatpants pooling around his knees and a bottle of lube next to him just waiting for Harry to get him off. He heard a faint fuck coming out of Harry then his warm big hands on his hips gasping when he felt Harry's tongue licking around his rim. He pushed backwards moaning when the tip of his tongue made its way inside of him and as soon as it had been inside him, it was gone.

"Harry..." Louis glared at him.

"Hold on, I'm gonna finger you." Harry lubed his fingers up then carefully inserted a finger inside Louis making him hiss and push back against it like there was no tomorrow.

When Harry added a second one seconds later Louis couldn't help it and started fucking himself against his hand while Harry lowered his sweatpants to stroke himself. Harry pulled his fingers out to lube his cock up and before Louis knew what was going on he felt his fingers inside of him again then his knees trying to bring his thighs together.

Louis wanted to ask what was he doing but what came out of his mouth was a simple oh followed by a moan when Harry started fucking his thighs while fingering him. He started jerking himself off at the same pace Harry thrusted into his thighs burying his face on Harry's pillows when Harry added another finger nudging at his spot.

"Stop teasing." Louis managed to say when Harry kept touching around it but never where he wanted him to.

"M'not...fuck I wanna fuck you." Harry grunted moving his hips faster and his fingers in and out of him.

"Please...just- fuck me dammit!" Louis begged arching his back about to cum.

"No condom." 

"I can take- fuck! I can take that morning after pill." Louis said just before he came.

Harry continued fingering him getting and closer then pulled his fingers out of Louis coming all over his lower back then kissed him when Louis sat up on his knees turning his head around just as their lips touched.

"That's what you did four years ago and we ended up with a baby nine months later." Harry pulled away then smiled watching the way Louis cutely pouted.

"Mmm, but you love that baby." Louis smiled turning around wrapping his arms around Harry, their chests touching.

"Very much...can be a total nightmare sometimes but I love him." 

"He's just like you when we were younger, total troublemaker." Louis let go of him kissing the tip of his nose before he got out of bed fully taking his sweatpants off.

He smirked when Harry stared at him as he walked away completely naked towards the bathroom to take a quick shower knowing he was getting there. When he got back Harry had cleaned up and was on his side of the bed waiting for him, not even a few minutes after his head had hit the pillow they heard the doorknob jiggling then Evan's voice demanding to be let in.

"We don't lock doors in this 'ouse daddies." Evan narrowed his eyes after Louis had let him in and he was on his way to claim his rightful place in the bed between them.

"You and your sister can't lock the doors in this house except when Logan's in the bathroom." Harry picked him up putting him in the middle of the bed sighing when he saw he was once again only wearing his underwear and nothing else.

He had developed a habit of walking around the house completely naked not embarrassed in the slightest that his boy bits were on full display until either parent would make him put his clothes back on. He would get rid of his pajamas and sleep on his underwear as soon as they would leave his power ranger themed bedroom no matter how many times they told him he wasn't allowed to do so.

"Daddies I'm here so we sleep now." Evan yawned getting comfortable under the bed sheets closing his eyes and falling asleep a few minutes later.

"Is he asleep?" Louis asked trying to keep his voice low after a few more minutes of complete silence.

"Hold on..." Harry mumbled then poked Evan's cheeks then the side of his stomach smiling when Evan scooted away from him after slapping his hand away. "He's asleep."

Louis smiled then made his way to his and Harry's closet coming back with a brand new pair of pajamas he had gotten the day before and as gently as he could he put them on his son so he wouldn't be cold during the night. When he was done he fixed the blankets around him once again then laid down next to him after giving Harry a kiss and kissing Evan's forehead.

When they woke up the next Monday morning Harry groaned feeling a part of Evan's body on his face and after feeling around he came to the conclusion that it was part of his leg. He moved it and slowly got up seeing Louis on the other side of the bed upside down with Evan resting his head on his lower back. Louis' shirt had a wet spot near Evan's mouth and Harry yawned as he moved him away towards his side of the bed.

"Da- ey no..." Evan whined clinging to Louis then opened his eyes only to close them again seconds later.

"C'mon bud, time to get up and go to school." Harry finally got up pulling his son away from Louis to get him ready for school.

"You taking me daddy?" Evan sleepily asked snuggling against Harry's warm chest as Harry walked upstairs to wake Logan up and get them ready.

"Mhm, lets wake sissy up." Harry smiled putting Evan down as soon as he had stepped inside his bedroom.

He watched him with a smile as his little boy ran to Logan's room through their bathroom with him following after then watched him jump into her bed telling her to wake up. She barely stirred then made a face when Evan started kissing all over her face managing to make her open her eyes.

"Go 'way." Logan mumbled turning around on her other side to continue sleeping.

"Sissy...Loggie up! Time for school." Evan insisted trying to physically force her eyes open and that's when Harry decided to step in.

"Logan get up, you have to get ready or you'll be late and make your dad late too." Harry said in a gentle yet authoritative voice to let her know it wasn't open for discussion.

"Five more minutes..." Logan sighed still half asleep smiling when Harry said nothing.

"No, get up. Now." Harry said then walked up to her when she didn't even move.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead as he rubbed her back trying to wake her up until she fully opened her eyes and seconds later smiled at him.

"You have to get up lovebug." Harry said picking Evan up when she nodded and got up hugging him around the waist.

Harry hugged her with one arm wondering where had the past years gone by, he remembered a little four year old girl who would wrap her tiny arms around his thighs and now she was all grown up and taller reaching just below his chest.

"Morning daddy." Logan smiled getting another kiss from Harry.

"Morning bug, please get ready." Harry said receiving a nod then walked back to Evan's room to get him ready.

"Daddy I wanna wear my Spider-Man shirt." Evan announced as soon as they had stepped into his closet.

"The blue one or the black one?" Harry asked wanting to test him if he knew his colors like he claimed he did.

"The blue one daddy." Evan said looking around for it.

"That one's dirty baby. You're gonna have to wear the black one until we do laundry, okay?" 

"Okay." Evan sighed.

Once both kids were ready they headed towards the kitchen where Louis had breakfast ready and was already dressed. They ate in a comfortable silence like usual whenever Logan and Evan were too tired to talk and when they were done Louis hurried around trying to find his and Evan's stuff.

"We're gonna go now, don't forget to pick Evan up after school and take him to his football practice." Louis said as he looked around for his keys smiling and kissing Harry when he gave them to him. "Love you cookie."

"Love you too...a lot." Harry kissed his lips then his forehead before Louis pulled away heading out to start the car taking Evan with him by the hand while the little boy dragged his backpack with the other.

"Daddy my kiss!" Evan came in running full speed a few seconds later.

Harry gladly picked him up and kissed his forehead then his cheeks as he hugged him getting kisses in return.

"Love you daddy." Evan giggled wiggling out of Harry's arms.

"Love you too bud, have fun at school and listen to Mrs. Teasdale." Harry put him down watching him run outside.

"I'll see you later daddy, love you." Logan walked into the kitchen with her backpack on her back and a bag filled with two canvases in her hand.

"Love you too bug, have fun." Harry hugged her kissing the top of her head then looked down at her to find her already looking up at him with wide eyes and pouty lips.

"Can my friends come over after school? I already asked daddy and he said yes but wanted me to ask you too."

"Are their parents okay? Are they staying for dinner?" Harry asked as he smiled.

"They already asked and said it was okay if you and daddy are okay." Logan nodded.

"Okay then. Is pizza okay for dinner tonight?" Harry asked.

"Yes! Love you!" Logan kissed his chest then let go of him running outside telling Louis he had said yes.

Harry stood by the door until Louis and the kids were gone then walked back inside to get ready for work after cleaning up the kitchen. When he was ready he made his way to his studio cheerfully greeting Grace as soon as he had stepped inside then got to work after setting an alarm so he wouldn't miss the time to pick Evan up.

~*~

"Louis, how are you?" David asked as soon as Louis had walked into the teachers lounge to get some coffee.

"Great! How are you and the little one?" Louis asked smiling at him then at David's baby bump wishing he could have one of his own.

"Good, she's been kicking a lot...thank god I only have three more months to go." David sighed as he happily rubbed circles on the side of his belly.

Louis gave him another tiny smile as he poured coffee into his cup knowing what was coming when David took a step closer.

"He said no again?" David asked with a soft tone it made Louis want to cry.

"Same answer as always." Louis sighed looking up at the ceiling before looking down at his cup once again.

"Give him time...I'm sure that he'll agree later on. Maybe he's just not ready at the moment." David tried to make him feel better then reached to hug him when he heard the tiny sniffle.

"He hasn't been ready for two years and he will never be ready, he's afraid they'll be blind but I know we could make it work." Louis said as David rubbed his back.

"I know you can...give him a few days." David pulled away smiling as he did so.

"I have to get back, I'll meet you here for lunch." Louis said then walked away when David nodded.

For the rest of the day all Louis could think about was how much he wanted a baby and ways to convince Harry to have one. When he showed up to pick Evan up and knowing summer break was almost there he smirked picking up the phone to call Anne. After he was done talking to her he grabbed his lunch heading to the teachers lounge to eat with David. He only smiled at him when David gave him a questioning look but didn't asked and Louis was grateful for that. Now all he had to do was wait and be patient.


	2. What the heart wants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I decided to post today and from now on this story will be updated every Sunday night (Which is around this time) I hope you like this chapter and please don't forget to vote and comment, they are greatly appreciated and motivate me to write more. Enjoy! :)

As soon as Louis had stepped into the house all he heard were Evan's screams as he ran around the house chasing after Buttercup and the loud chattering of Logan, Alex, Lux and Tabitha as they made their way downstairs to finish their homework. He kissed Harry for a bit before heading to his bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes almost running into Evan when he ran out of his bedroom to keep chasing after the dog.

"Evan Landon, be careful!" Louis shouted looking back at Evan's retreating figure before he went back to his room.

He quickly changed into new clothes after picking up the mess Evan had left in their closet after he had been looking for god knows what then went back to the kitchen to finish doing a few things that were school related while Harry worked on his own stuff wanting to finish before dinner.

"How was your day?" Harry asked after a few minutes of silence between them.

"It was good. Yours? Did you finish that photoshoot for Dolce and Gabbana?" Louis stopped what he was doing to give Harry his full attention.

Now three years later at twenty seven, Harry still looked young for his age yet had managed at the moment to look older having let his hair grow a little bit longer than usual enough to put it up in a small ponytail. There had been a time in Louis' life where his hair had been a bit longer than usual but now it was back to being short and he liked to do it in a messy style always getting told that he looked younger than his actual age.

He frowned when Harry sighed and leaned on the back of the bar stool rubbing his face then his eyes in a tired manner.

"I am done with it...thank god." Harry muttered.

"What happened? Was a bitch trying to hop on your dick again?" Louis asked as he playfully grinned but deep inside there was a twinge of jealousy he was glad he could mask.

"One of these days Evan's gonna hear you and you're never gonna hear the end of it." Harry lazily smiled then straightened himself up to get a bit closer to Louis and kiss his forehead. "The model was just a brat. They know I'm happily married to the Louis Styles with two children plus they don't mess with me anymore after that time I thought it would be a good idea for you to be there."

"It was the best idea you've ever had, it was the perfect time for me to let all those sluts know you're mine." Louis smirked kissing the corner of Harry's lips letting Harry wrap his arms around him as he started kissing up and down the right side of his neck making him giggle like a teenager.

"Eww, can you not do that...I'm right here." Logan said out of nowhere startling both of them.

She was standing in front of the fridge getting water bottles out of it as she looked at them with wide eyes and a disgusted expression yet she was happy her parents loved each other as much as they did.

"You don't have to look." Louis pulled away from Harry then got up to hug her as she squirmed trying to set herself free.

"Daddy I can't breathe." She giggled then gave up when Louis squeezed her harder then kissed the top of her head.

"Dinner's in an hour, make sure all of you finish your homework first." Louis kissed her cheek one more time then let her go going back to sit next to Harry.

Logan smiled wider as she made her way downstairs where the rest were finding Evan in the corner of the room playing with a few toys and Buttercup. She walked up to the bean bags and dropped the water bottles in the middle then grabbed her book to finish her homework on time to have free time before dinner.

"I've been wondering," Alex spoke up from his spot catching the rest of the girl's attention. "Why aren't there any pictures of you and your dad Harry when you were a baby? There are a lot of him and Evan."

"I don't know, I asked him and all he said was that he wasn't around when I was a baby." Logan shrugged it off going back to reading.

"But why wasn't he really around?" Alex continued asking.

"Alex she doesn't know...stop asking." Lux said when Logan looked down at her lap chewing on her bottom lip..

"I was just wondering..." Alex trailed off.

"Its okay, he just wasn't." Logan smiled at him then directed her attention to Tabitha. "Did you ask your mum about that sleepover we planned?"

"I did, she said it was okay as long as I go to bed early." Tabitha smiled.

"Great! Now all we have to do is convince Alex's parents." Lux clapped her hands from her spot.

"Papa's been so moody and keeps sending dad out to buy him nasty food." Alex wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Mum says its because he's gonna have your baby sister, pregnant people get moody and a lot of cravings." Tabitha explained proud of herself for knowing.

"She needs to hurry up." Alex huffed just wanting to meet her already.

Logan smiled again at her friends then continued doing her homework also keeping an eye on Evan until Louis called them up for dinner. Dinner when they had more than two kids was louder than usual but had gone by without any trouble and an hour later all three kids were picked up by their parents. When Logan went to bed that night she couldn't shake the thought away as to why her dad hadn't been around when she was a baby.

~*~

"Zayn called," Louis said catching Harry's attention, they were all piled up in their bed watching one of the many seasons of The amazing World of Gumball since Logan still loved the show and Evan was taking a liking to it.

"What did he say, are they doing okay? The twins?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, he just wants to know if we're finally gonna go camping again. Said its been years since we last went and he and Liam want to do it again this summer...or a weekend one of these days." Louis said.

"We could do it this summer, it will be perfect." Harry smiled scooting over to Louis' side of the bed to hug him but as soon as he did Evan looked at him narrowing his eyes then rubbed them as he yawned.

"No touching my daddy!" Evan screamed getting up from his spot while all Logan did was roll her eyes and turn the volume up.

He crawled all the way up to where they were laying pressed up to each other then started pushing Louis away from Harry with his tiny hands. He started whining when all Harry did was hug Louis closer to him even going as far as throwing a leg over his husband and shield him with his body until Evan burst out crying still trying to push him away.

"You need to stop or I'm gonna put you in time out." Harry calmly said making him cry louder.

"Harry, don't be a mean old ogre." Louis reached for Evan putting him in between Harry and himself where Evan snuggled up closer to Louis hiding his face on his chest still crying but were quickly reduced to sniffles then tiny hiccups.

"Stop spoiling him Louis, I don't want him to be a brat." Harry sighed.

"I'm not spoiling him, he just wants affection...and my baby boy is not a brat." Louis said then wrapped his arms around his tiny body and flipped them around to where his back was now to Harry.

"Yes you are, he needs to learn its not okay to behave that way."

"Since when do you know what's okay and what's not. He just wants affection, that's all." Louis insisted.

"You're impossible." Harry got up from the bed and left the room leaving all three of them alone.

"He is spoiled." Logan said before she got up and left the room leaving Louis and Evan alone who only cuddled and closed their eyes ready to take a nap.

"I'm not spo' ied daddy." Evan mumbled poking the rope tattoo on Louis' right wrist he had gotten two years ago along with an arrow tattoo to match Harry's.

"You're not baby, just don't push daddy again or he'll be very sad." Louis kissed his forehead.

"I don't push you again daddy, love you." Evan yawned then minutes later was asleep while Louis hugged him closer knowing he had been acting out because he needed a nap.

"Love you too baby." Louis smiled pulling his son closer to him.

Their week continued the same and by saturday morning they were up by eight waiting for Gemma and Ashton to show up along with Louis' sisters. They had gotten a call from Gemma earlier that week to let them know she was coming over along with his fiance Ashton and the girls. Their parents were supposed to get there later that night. By the time they showed up it was close to three pm and everything was set up in the guest rooms for them.

"Auntie Gem, its not my birthday." Evan giggled as soon as he saw her walking through the door holding a big cake she was quick to cover with the white plastic bag.

"How's my little munchkin, come here and let me love you." Gemma gasped giving the cake to Ashton then bent down opening her arms and closing them again as soon as Evan ran into them.

He continued giggling as Gemma showered him with kisses then picked him up just when the rest walked through the door.

"Where's everybody?" Lottie asked looking around for the rest.

"We're here, we're here!" Louis exclaimed running into the house pulling Buttercup with him who looked a bit wet.

"Lou, I missed you...you're all wet." Gemma hugged him letting go to put Evan down on the floor. "Where's Harry and my princess?"

"They went out to get groceries and sorry, Evan here thought it would be a good idea to cover Buttercup in mud." Louis said looking down with a raised eyebrow at a smiley little boy who had his hands behind his back. "You're in time out mister, ten minutes. Go."

"I take back what I said about him being a shy little thing." Gemma chuckled watching him walk away to his time out spot by the stools in the kitchen after giving Louis a sour look, his tiny arms crossed over his chest.

"He's anything but shy." Louis said hearing Daisy and Phoebe bickering once again.

"Aren't you four gonna hug me, I haven't seen you all in weeks." Louis smiled at his sisters grunting when they all rushed to hug him at the same time.

"Of course, we missed you too." Lottie clung to him.

"Why are you two wearing too much make up? You're far too young for it." Louis frowned looking at Lottie then at Fizz.

"I can't go out looking like a witch!" Fizz exclaimed horrified. "Besides, who knows how many cute boys are gonna cross my path."

"None as long as I live, now come on, let's get you all settled. Ashton, great to see you again."

"We brought cake!" Ashton exclaimed getting excited out of nowhere making Louis furrow his brow in confusion when Gemma gave him a pointed look and Ashton immediately shut up.

"Daisy, Phoebe stop arguing." Louis raised his eyebrows at them making them shut up and walk away to settle down in the playroom.

"Is it chocolate, uncle Ash?" Evan asked from his spot looking up at him with wide curious blue eyes that melted Ashton's heart.

"Of course it is, you love chocolate cake." Ashton tapped his nose making him giggle .

While they waited for everybody else to get there Louis noticed the way Gemma guarded the cake and as soon as Harry and Logan walked through the door so did their parents. Evan rushed to Mark and Robin hugging their legs then made grabby hands at Anne wanting to be picked up.

"Ninna I missed you lots." Evan wrapped his arms around her neck then pulled away to look at Jay giving her the most precious smile. "I missed you lots too Nana."

"I missed you too baby." Anne kissed him then gave him to Jay to go and hug Logan as well as her sons.

"You are so big now!" Jay peppered his face with kisses.

"I'm a big boy now, Nanna!" Evan proudly said.

"So big!" Jay said with as much enthusiasm.

She set him down when he started squirming then walked up to Louis and Harry hugging them at the same time before hugging Logan who was patiently waiting in Gemma's arms after their hug fest. Once they were all in the dinning room Gemma walked in holding the cake in her hands followed by Evan who was quick to go sit on Louis' lap.

"What's going on sweetheart?" Anne asked as soon as she saw the cake.

She didn't say anything and instead placed the cake on the table hearing everyone gasping when they read the _'I'm pregnant!'_ written in cursive on top of the cake.

"You mean..." Robin trailed of, tears already brimming on his eyes.

"You're going to have another grandbaby! I'm three months pregnant." Gemma happily said hearing some of them cheering and others crying who she knew were her mother and Jay.

Louis smiled feeling happy for her until he looked at Harry waiting for him to look his way and when he did he gave him a knowing look. He felt disappointed when all Harry did was shake his head no before hugging Gemma and Ashton congratulating them.

"I can't believe you're finally going to have a baby. Finally!" Harry hugged her tight feeling her smacking his back and laughing until she noticed he was in tears.

"Knucklehead, why the hell are you crying?" Gemma pulled back and just when Harry was about to answer they heard Evan shouting.

"Why the hell!" Evan giggled, his giggles getting muffled when Louis put a hand over his mouth.

"Great." Harry muttered watching Louis trying to get him to stop repeating it.

"Sorry...I forgot he repeats everything he hears." Gemma gave him a sheepish smile.

"Don't worry...congratulations!" Harry hugged her again.

"When are you and Louis going to pop out another baby?" Gemma raised an eyebrow.

"Not you too Gemma." Harry groaned. "I do want more kids but what I don't want is for them to have a miserable life unable to see."

"I understand that Harry but don't you think that you both could make it work. It will get hard, yes, but there are a lot of people who are blind and still are successful. Your child won't be fully incapacitated." Gemma gave him a sad smile.

Harry sighed then looked at Louis who was sitting with their moms deep in converstaion then looked back at Gemma. He noticed his dads congratulating Ashton seeing the way he smiled at the thought of his and Gemma's baby on the way and it was something he wanted to feel again. He wanted to see a little life grow inside of Louis and watch him get bigger every month, he wanted to feel it kick and share with Louis the joy of bringing another child into the world. But he was done being selfish.

"Its best if we don't, I'm not gonna ruin my child's life with this damn gene I carry." Harry said then left heading to his bedroom taking Evan with him to have a serious talk with him.

********

"He still won't agree to have another baby?" Jay asked her son as she rubbed his back.

"No, I was hoping to convince him whenever you take the kids for the weekend." Louis said.

"Don't give up sweetheart, we'll come by next friday to pick up my grandbabies." Anne hugged him then pulled back wearing the biggest smile. "Can't wait to have more grandbabies running around the house, right Jay?"

"Of course, I only have Fizz and the twins at home now...one more year and she'll be off to college too." Jay started tearing up unable to believe her children were growing up way too fast.

"Don't cry mum, I'm almost thirty but I'm still your baby." Louis wrapped his arms around her.

"You're twenty seven Lou, when you're twenty nine then we'll talk about it like that." Jay chuckled.

"Ninna, Nana, could one of you please braid my hair? It looks awful today." Logan walked up to them and quickly sat down on the floor by Jay's legs staying still so she could braid her hair.

"A french braid, love? Jay asked as she untangled her hair with her fingers.

"Yes, I want to look like aunt Lottie." Logan said and if it wasn't for her turning to look at Jay then Louis would have never noticed it.

"Are you wearing make up?" Louis bent down grabbing her chin to make her look at him.

She was wearing mascara and eyeliner complete with light eye shadow and a bit of lipstick looking way older than she was.

"Aunt Lottie did my make up, do you like it?" Logan grinned.

"You are nine years old for god's sake, you can't wear make up yet. As soon as mum's done doing your hair go and wash it off." Louis let go and got up to help Gemma with the dishes.

"But Aunt Lottie took forever." Logan pouted.

"Doesn't matter, you can't wear it. Period." Louis turned around and crossed his arms over his chest.

"But-"

"What's going on?" Harry walked in carrying Evan on his hip.

"Look at your daughter." Louis looked at Harry then at Logan expecting him to do something about it.

Harry's eyes widened when he saw the amount of make up she was wearing then looked back at Louis wearing a what the fuck look while all Louis did was look back wearing the same expression.

"Bug you know you can't wear make up till you're at least sixteen so please wash it off." Harry calmly told her smiling when she sighed then nodded.

When Jay was done doing her hair she got a kiss from both her grandmother's then went to the bathroom in the hallway coming back with a clean face smiling when both Louis and Harry thanked her for doing as she was told. By bedtime Louis was completely exhausted but couldn't sleep and instead all he could think about was the big risky move he was going to make the next weekend. He needed to carefully plan everything, one wrong move and everything would go to waste and that was something he couldn't let happen.

"What are you thinking about, love?" Harry finally asked after minutes of glancing at him only to see him furrowing his brow evry five seconds.

"Huh!?" Louis jumped a little.

"Are you alright? I asked what were you thinking about." Harry gave him a worried look getting closer to him where he wrapped his arm around Louis' middle and rested his head on his chest.

"I'm okay babe, I was just thinking about what to make for breakfast tomorrow." Louis lied as he ran his fingers through Harry's hair.

"Tomorrow's Sunday so I think we should go out to eat." Harry snuggled up closer to Louis playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Oh god, its gonna be chaos." Louis closed his eyes knowing how it could get with all of them got together.

"Yeah, but we always have fun. The Styles and the the Tomlinson's being as loud as they can like always." Harry chuckled.

"You mean Evan Styles always being as loud as he can." Louis pressed a kiss on the top of Harry's head smiling when Harry looked at him with shiny green eyes full of love.

"I'm pretty sure he takes after Gemma, remember how loud she was." Harry shifted around so he was on his stomach looking at Louis then pressed a kiss on one of his collarbones.

"Even louder than him...I hope her baby turns out like her." Louis sighed.

"Yeah..." Harry placed his head back on Louis' chest hearing his heartbeats wanting nothing but to give him what he wanted, give him all the babies Louis' heart desired.

Harry took a deep breath pushing the thought away that if it wasn't for the gene he carried then his Louis would be popping out kids every year. He would always be so full of his babies no matter what but sadly biology had been cruel to him and he had been cursed with something he knew would ruin one of their babies lives.

Louis stretched to turn the light off then got comfortable under the covers with Harry still laying close to him, he wrapped his arms around him and when Evan never showed up that night he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Just like they had expect it breakfast turned out to be chaos when Evan threw a tantrum when his pancakes touched the syrup getting soaked in the sticky liquid and he liked to dip them in it and eat them before they got soggy. He had refused to eat them until Harry who was sick and tired of his crying and kicking got up from his seat and grabbed him taking him to the hallway where the bathrooms were located.

"What's wrong with them touching the syrup, you're gonna dip them in it anyway." Harry sighed looking at his son from where he was squatting down in front of him as Evan cried and rubbed his eyes.

"I don't like it daddy." Evan hiccuped.

"I don't care if you don't like it, you're gonna stop acting out and go back in there and eat them." Harry firmly told him closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose when he only cried louder.

"Do you want me to take all your toys away? And this time daddy Lou's not gonna give them back." Harry threatened sighing when his son stopped crying and instead sniffled trying to wipe his nose with his sleeve, something Harry was quick to stop.

"Okay." Evan sniffled wrapping his arms around Harry when he hugged him.

"That's a good boy, lets go wash your face." Harry picked him up kissing his sweaty forehead as he walked into the bathroom.

When he was done he walked back to their table taking his place next to Logan placing Evan on the spot next to him glad that Louis was on his other side. He slowly started eating his pancakes sometimes leaning against Louis who would brush his hair back with his fingers then kiss the top of his head.

When they got back home Evan was asleep and everyone got ready to leave and go back home before dark. Anne and Jay had left with the promise of coming back Friday after school to pick Logan and Evan up while Louis thanked them.

******

"So I can't have the sleepover this weekend or the next?" Logan asked Louis watching him making dinner on a Wednesday night.

"I'm sorry sweetheart but your grandparents want to spend time with you and your brother this weekend and the next we're gonna go camping with your aunt and uncles...David and Brian are going too so Alex will be there." Louis answered giving her an apologetic smile.

"I guess its alright. I still get to have it, right?" Logan worriedly asked chewing on her bottom lip.

"Yeah, we promised you. Thank you for understanding." Louis made his way to her hugging her tight and kissing her forehead.

"Daddy...can I ask you something?" Logan nervously said knowing she had already asked before.

"Sure, what is it?" Louis went back to cooking as he waited for her to talk.

"I already asked before but you and daddy never gave me a real answer. Why wasn't daddy around when I was a baby? We have no pictures."

Just when Louis dropped the spoon he was holding he heard a loud crash from the kitchen door that led to the garage. When he turned around to see what was going on all he saw was Harry on his knees trying to pick up Evan's toys while their son stood next to him taking them from him whenever Harry picked one up.

"Uh...we already told you love, he just wasn't" Louis nervously answered praying she would drop the topic.

"But I want to know why?" Logan insisted.

Louis watched with wide eyes the pained expression Harry had on his face and just when he was about to answer he interrupted him knowing what Harry wanted to say. They had talked about it before and when Harry was the one who wanted to tell her something close to the truth or the full truth Louis was the one to shut him up every time he so much tried to talk about it. For him everything was in the past and he didn't want their daughter to know how she really came to be so instead he chose to lie knowing Harry didn't agree.

"When I got pregnant with you your dad and I were nothing but friends," Louis paused trying to think of something.

"I know that." Logan urged him.

"We...you know, and after that he left to Manchester for Uni and I left to London with your uncles and your aunt. We promised to keep in touch but we had so much going on that we forgot and we lost phone numbers. When I found out I was pregnant with you daddy was already somewhere else and I just decided not to tell him when I couldn't find him." Louis finished talking.

"But you knew where Ninna lives." Logan gave him an incredulous look and Louis knew he was royally screwed.

"Ninna and I weren't talking then bug, we got into a fight that I don't want to talk about so that's why your dad couldn't find me...but I'm here now and I'm never going to leave." Harry hugged her feeling her nodding.

"Okay, that makes sense." She smiled.

"Now please take your brother and wash your hands, dinner is ready." Louis smiled watching her take Evan by the hand to wash their hands.

"We should just tell her the truth...we can't keep lying to her. Louis, one of these days its all gonna blow up on our faces." Harry took a seat on one of the bar stools.

"Don't." Louis glared at him. "Don't even think about it Harry Edward, we are happy now and I'm not gonna let you ruin that just because you want her to know."

"Louis...one day she'll find out and she's gonna hate me even more for lying to her." Harry tried again.

"No." Louis gulped then his expression softened. "Harry please...we're fine with the way things are, do this for me. She'll never find out, she has no reason to."

"Alright...I won't ruin things." Harry sighed wrapping his arms around Louis as soon as he had gotten closer to him.

Louis leaned against Harry and in between his legs just wanting Harry to promise him and when he whispered those two words that held so much meaning to him he was finally able to relax.

"Thank you...and know that I love you, so so much." Louis kissed his forehead then his lips. "As long as we love each other we'll be fine."

"I love you too." Harry returned the kiss then they pulled away from each other when Logan and Evan walked back into the kitchen.

"What's for dinner?" Logan asked setting Evan down from where she had been carrying him on her hip.

"Chicken noodle soup." Louis automatically answered.

"Is Ninna picking us up after school?" Logan asked Louis making Harry look at him.

"Ninna's coming!" Evan happily said as he grabbed the spoon to start eating.

"Mum's gonna come get them? You never mentioned this to me." Harry raised an eyebrow.

"I had so much going on this week it must have slipped my mind but yes, mum called and she wants the kids to spend time with her since she's all lonely and my mum is busy with the girls so she can't come get them too." Louis gave him the most innocent look he could muster out.

"Oh okay." Harry nodded.

"Is buttercup coming too daddies?" Evan looked at both his daddies expecting a yes.

"Ninna said you could take him but you're gonna have to be a good boy until she gets here and when you're there." Louis grabbed his hand rubbing circles on the top of it.

"I'll be a good boy." Evan furiously nodded.

~*~

Friday after school the kids were all packed and ready to go and were just waiting for Anne to get there. As soon as she had arrived she only stayed for a bit then left taking both children leaving Louis and Harry alone.

"You just wanted us to be alone don't you?" Harry asked as soon as Anne was out of sight.

"Can't hurt...and we need time to ourselves." Louis grinned.

"We need condoms...and lube, lots of them." Harry said looking around for his car keys.

"Go get them...I'll get everything ready." Louis smirked.

Harry kissed him then ran out almost falling over to get what they needed while Louis calmly walked to their bedroom after making sure he had left for good. He made his way to the closet grabbing a box from the top shelf on his side of the closet bringing it back to his bedroom. He took a seat on their bed then opened the box taking out a brand new box of condoms from the brand Harry liked and knew he would be getting. He almost backed out but went ahead with it grabbing a needle from a small plastic container then opened the box of condoms grabbing a still unopened one taking a deep breath as he did so.

"If you want something done you have to do it yourself." Louis said as he poked holes on every single foil wrapper.

Once he was done he put them back in the box then put everything back into the other box hiding it again under the bed just waiting for Harry to come back. As soon as Harry was back and distracted he replaced the box he had just bought with the one he had just tampered with.

 _One way or another he's getting another baby_ , Louis thought as Harry undressed him while kissing up and down his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that happened. Thoughts?


	3. As sly as a fox

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy and don't forget to comment! :)

Harry's hands were all Louis could feel touching every part of his body leaving a warm tingling sensation behind as well as his lips trailing kisses down his chest. Harry was all Louis could feel as he lay on their bed underneath him completely covered with Harry's body much bigger than his own. His quiet breathy moans were muffled by Harry's own lips on his feeling him moving in and out of him getting closer and closer. When he finally released for the second time that Sunday morning he sighed feeling completely satiated. Harry kept going until he released into the condom kissing Louis' lips as he moved to pull out.

"No no! Don't pull out yet." Louis grabbed him by the arms forcing him to stay inside of him as he shifted his hips around that were propped up by a few pillows.

"What? Louis you've been acting weird. You hate it when I stay inside of you for too long after it." Harry nervously chuckled but stayed still nonetheless.

"I just...I just love being this close to you, you know. Kiss me." Louis wrapped his left hand around the back of Harry's neck and pulled him down for another kiss.

"As much as I would love to stay here I need to move..." Harry trailed off finally pulling out when Louis let him.

Before he had the chance Louis removed the condom for him and threw it away surprising him a little, Harry smiled a little when Louis smiled at him then got up to find a wet flannel. When he walked back into their bedroom he stopped in his tracks when he saw Louis had changed positions and now he had his legs propped up against the headboard with even more pillows underneath his hips.

"Are you trying to get pregnant, Lou?" Harry joked running to Louis when he started coughing.

"What! No, of course not...I was just stretching my legs. We said no more kids." Louis nervously said laughing a little and praying to all the gods for his plan to work and for Harry to stop wondering about all the weird things he had been doing.

"I was joking babe, calm down." Harry said as he cleaned him up.

"Oh...you had me there. Don't want you thinking things." Louis grabbed him by the arm pulling him down next to him.

Once Harry was next to Louis he closed his eyes while Louis stared at the ceiling thinking about what he had done not regretting it at all. They had been going at it since Friday afternoon only stopping to eat, shower and sleep wanting to rest to do it all over again. He couldn't deny that he had missed being with Harry without having to lock the door or trying to make it quick and be quiet. He had missed him.

"Are you hungry? I'll go make something to eat." Harry kissed the side of his head then got up putting on a pair of pajama bottoms he found on the floor.

Louis watched him until he left the room then slowly got up heading straight to the trashcan where he could see all the condoms they had used without counting the ones in the bathroom trashcan. He picked it up and walked to the bathroom dumping them in the trashcan they had there before he tied the plastic bag getting rid of them for good. He stopped in his tracks on his way to take a shower when he felt something warm running down his inner thigh and was quick to clench not wanting the small amount he probably had in there to go to waste.

He was forced to relax his muscles as he showered shivering a bit until Harry surprised him by joining him in the shower. He sighed in content letting Harry wash his hair then his back smiling as he returned the favor and after they were done they finally put on some clothes.

"I thought you were making breakfast." Louis furrowed his brow seeing the kitchen was still like they had left it the night before.

"I want to take you out, I love Logan and Evan but its been so long since we enjoyed a nice breakfast just the two of us."

"Okay, yeah that would be nice." Louis agreed walking back to their bedroom to get ready.

They ended up going to _Fatboys Diner_ at Louis' request where he ordered blueberry muffins and a chocolate milkshake while Harry settled with pancakes with streaky bacon and coffee. Louis almost inhaled his meal blushing when he noticed Harry looking at him with fondness and love written all over his face.

"I was hungry." Louis shrugged eating the last bite.

"Do you want more? We could order something else." Harry asked getting ready to call the waitress.

"I'm okay and full, I think we should go home and tidy up before mum brings them back." Louis motioned for the check.

"I miss them, miss all the noise and its weird without them." Harry played with a napkin making Louis' heart flutter and miss their children even more.

"They'll be here in a few hours then you can smother them with hugs and kisses." Louis grinned.

"Like you're not gonna do the same thing, Evan's gonna be in heaven." Harry reached for Louis' hand holding it with both of his only letting go when he had to pay.

They walked out of there hand in hand and laughing at Harry's jokes only letting go to get in the car. Harry drove back home never letting go of his hand making a stop to get a few groceries and as soon as they were back they busied themselves with putting them away then cleaning the house before the kids could get there.

"Could you get the detergent for me?" Louis asked Harry feeling a little annoyed as soon as he walked into the laundry room with another basket full of clothes.

He had been trying to reach it and trying not to yell at Harry after the many times he had told him to stop putting it in the highest shelf. Harry only nodded reaching to get it for him then left to continue cleaning downstairs. After they were finished Harry was leaning against the dryer folding clothes and trying not to fall asleep when Louis walked in to get the clothes he had already folded to put them away.

He was barefooted wearing a pair of Harry's basketball shorts and a tight blue shirt and all Harry could do was ogle him until he disappeared from sight. A few minutes later he nearly jump out of his skin when Louis walked back in being as loud as always.

"You know, we've never fûcked in here." Louis casually said slowly making his way over to Harry.

"I- We...What?" Harry stuttered and almost drooled at the sight of Louis slowly taking his shirt off and before he had the chance to say something else he was pushed against the dryer.

He let Louis take his shirt off then almost came in his pants when he started kissing him then pulled away kissing all the way down slowly getting on his knees stopping right at the hem of his pants. Louis on his knees and looking right back at him through his eyelashes took Harry's breath away but the minute he pulled his pants down revealing his half hard cøck Harry felt like he was burning up. He closed his eyes holding onto the sides of the dryer the moment he felt Louis' hand wrapping around his cock then his tongue licking around the tip.

"Louis...oh fûck." Harry opened his eyes looking down at him when he felt his mouth around him.

Louis bobbed his head up and down, his eyes slowly closing when Harry grabbed a fistful of his hair gently pulling on it the more Louis moved to fit more of him in his mouth.

"S- So good...Louis..." Harry moaned and just when he felt himself getting closer Louis pulled away and as fast as he could opened a foil wrapper rolling it in place making him shiver at the touch.

With one swift movement Harry picked Louis up pulling his shorts down then completely off of him before placing him on top of the dryer. Louis hissed at the cold feeling but was quickly replaced by a string of curses as soon as he felt the tip of Harry's cøck nudging at his entrance. They made eye contact never losing it while Harry slowly entered him making Louis wonder when the hell had he lubed it up that fast. As soon as Harry was all the way in he didn't waste any time pulling halfway out before he pushed back in.

What started as slow and even thrusts turned into erratic ones making the dryer shake with every single one of them. Louis had his legs wrapped tightly around Harry's waist supporting himself up by his elbows letting Harry kiss all over his chest then his lips, both of them trying to hurry up. Louis wrapped a hand around his cøck trying to get closer until Harry went still and seconds later Louis felt him cümming into the condom.

"So fücking tight." Harry murmured still panting against Louis' chest then out of nowhere pulled out and gently pushed Louis' hand away replacing it with his own.

Louis' eyes widened and his lips formed into a perfect O-shape as soon as he felt Harry's hand around him moving fast then his lips kissing all over his neck. Their lips connected in a messy kiss drowning any kind of sound Louis was making then Harry made sure to mark Louis right by his left collarbone adding one more to the collection he had made during the past two days.

"Harry...so- so close." Louis moaned kissing Harry at the same time he came right on Harry's hand as he slowed down.

They stayed there for a few minutes trying to catch their breaths quickly kissing the other again and as soon as Harry took a step back to get rid of the condom Louis tightened his legs trapping him in between them.

"I love you." Louis smiled kissing him slow and sweet feeling like he was on top of the world when Harry kissed him back just as slow and sweet.

"I love you more angel." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis massaging the back of his sweaty head feeling Louis' own arms around his waist.

"We need to take a shower before they get here." Harry murmured only getting a nod from Louis.

As soon as Harry let go he helped Louis down furrowing his brow when he got rid of the used condom but said nothing knowing Louis sometimes liked to take care of it. They made a run to the bathroom where they ended up taking a shower together once again giving each other all the love that just kept growing.

Just before dinner they heard Anne's car and minutes later Buttercup followed by Evan's loud laughs making both parents smile. Logan slammed the door open yelling out a sorry when it made a loud noise against the wall then rushed to them hugging them at the same time.

"I missed you." She mumbled getting showered with kisses before letting go when Evan ran in colliding with Harry's legs who picked him up making him giggle as he kissed all over his face.

"Did you have fun?" Harry asked him still holding him tight.

"Yes, I played lots and Ninna made cookies and Logan played with me." Evan nodded still excited and as soon as he saw Louis he made grabby hands at him.

"You were a good boy, right?" Louis playfully raised his eyebrows then hugged him close kissing his temple when his son nodded with the most serious expression.

"Thank you for watching them mum." Harry hugged her then let go of her so she could hug Louis while he wrapped his arms around Logan's shoulders just wanting to hold her after not seeing her for a full weekend.

"They were angels like always and you know I love having them over." Anne smiled taking a seat on one of the bar stools.

"You're staying for dinner, right? You should spend the night here and go back tomorrow morning, I don't want you driving all the way there when its already getting dark." Louis was quick to invite her.

"If you boys don't mind."

"We don't, you can stay as long as you want to mum. This is your house too." Harry said.

That night dinner was louder than ever when all Logan and Evan did was talk about their weekend and how Anne had taken them to a carnival reminding Harry and Louis that that's where they had gotten their blue and green bracelets they still wore around their wrists.

~*~

Two weeks after their wild weekend the guilt was eating Louis alive and he didn't know what to do anymore whenever Harry so much looked his way with eyes full of love and trust. After they all had sat down to plan they were set to go camping during the weekend, they had decided to wait one more week letting Logan have her sleepover before. April was the perfect month for them to go camping since it wasn't too cold or too hot and they needed a weekend with fun and games after the stressful past weeks.

Friday afternoon they all met in the same spot they had gone to four years earlier but that time it was just family and friends for them. When they got there the rest were already waiting and the first thing Louis did was run to Eleanor to hold Eric smiling when the baby stared at him with his big brown eyes then smiled before putting his whole tiny fist in his mouth.

"Aren't you a precious baby." Louis cooed at him hugging him close and rubbing his tiny back.

"How have you been?" Eleanor asked giving him a hug while Liam waved at him then went back to unloading their stuff with Harry's help.

"Good. Where are the rest? I know Brian and David couldn't make it because according to David he's ready to explode." Louis chuckled as he looked around for Niall and Zayn.

"They're running a little bit late and Brian called Liam last night, two more months for David and maybe after Melissa is born we could do it again." Eleanor sighed handing Louis Eric's pacifier when he started fussing.

"Auntie El!"

A chorus of voices were heard before Eleanor opened her arms hugging both Logan and Evan close to her, seconds later they were joined by two other bodies that belonged to three year olds Jeremy and Chloe.

"My god! Look at all four of you so grown up." Eleanor observed them all seeing how blue the twins eyes were that just looked beautiful in contrast with their tan skin and dark hair.

"Can I hold him?" Logan asked looking at Louis and Eric.

As soon as Eleanor kissed her cheek she nodded watching how she ran to Louis who gave him to her after making her sit down on a foldable chair telling her to be careful. They left her sitting down along with the rest of the kids and headed to where Niall was standing with the rest. Louis observed the way Harry smiled while talking to them and couldn't help but look down in shame knowing that what he had done was wrong but it was too late. All he had left to do was hope he wasn't pregnant because if he was, he was afraid it might end everything he had built with his husband and a divorce was something he couldn't let happen.

"Louis, haven't seen you in a while." Zayn hugged him then pulled away to help while Niall observed him with worried eyes.

"We should do this more often, have the kids breathe in some fresh air once in a while." Louis commented.

"That's what I've been saying," Liam was quick to agree with him. "I want Eric to grow up loving camping as much as I do."

"I think he loves it already." Niall chuckled pointing at the little baby trying to squirm out of Logan's arms eyeing the other three kids running around.

"I swear one of these days he's just gonna start walking." Liam shook his head feeling proud of his son.

"C'mon Liam, he's only seven months old." Harry chuckled.

"A smart seven month old." Liam corrected him.

After they were settled in Louis couldn't stop thinking about what he had done until Zayn, Niall and Eleanor pulled him aside to talk to him leaving the kids who were entertained by the stories Liam and Harry were telling.

"You've been quiet all day, want to tell us what's wrong." Zayn wrapped an arm around his shoulders in what was meant to be comforting but it only made Louis feel worse.

Louis looked down at his feet then loudly sighed before he went inside the tent he was supposed to be sharing with Harry and their kids coming back outside holding something in his hand. He made sure Harry wasn't looking their way then showed them the foil square making them raise their eyebrows in confusion not saying anything until Niall broke the silence.

"That's a condom." Niall stated removing his eyes from it long enough to look at Louis feeling completely lost.

"Oh! You want us to keep the kids for the night so you and Harry can get frisky. Want to have outdoor sex." Eleanor wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"No." Louis said getting desperate.

"Then why do you have condoms mate? You need to explain because I don't understand." Zayn said.

"Look at it closely." Louis almost shoved it on their faces.

"Its got holes...its faulty, just throw it away." Niall shrugged it off as if it wasn't big deal not noticing the guilty expression Louis had.

"Oh my god...it isn't the first one is it?" Eleanor closed her eyes, then rubbed her hands on her face hoping her friend hadn't gone as far as doing what she was thinking.

"I fucked up." Louis trembled as he spoke trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Louis...what were you thinking? How long ago was this?" Zayn started pacing back and forth then stopped in front of Louis waiting for him to answer.

"I- I just wanted a baby and he- he wouldn't give me one so I- I did what I had to do." Louis stuttered pocketing the wrapper before anyone else could see it.

"We know how much you want a baby Lou, but a baby is a big responsibility and is something that you should have talked to Harry about." Eleanor was quick to wrap his arms around him.

"I feel awful an- and now I could be pregnant...I poked holes on all of them and that's all we used for the whole weekend."

"How long ago was this?" Niall asked.

"Two weeks ago." Louis answered.

"Okay..." Niall rubbed his hands together. "Here's what we're gonna do, two weeks is still too early to know so give it one more week then you can take a few tests."

"He's going to leave me if I am, I just know it." Louis teared up a little.

"He's not going to leave you Louis." Zayn joined in on the hug followed by Niall.

"He made it clear he didn't want anymore babies, he's scared they're going to be blind." Louis mumbled feeling exhausted already.

"Oh Lou, that's understandable but he's not going to leave you. He loves you and loves Logan and Evan." Eleanor said.

"Lets just wait until we're sure if you are or not then we can go from there. Right now lets just go to bed since its already late and try to enjoy the rest of the weekend." Zayn suggested getting a nod from Louis.

******

"You were really quiet today, is there something wrong?." Harry murmured letting Louis rest his head on his chest.

They were already in their tent and their own sleeping bag after Evan had insisted on sleeping with Logan and were now sleeping wrapped in each others arms like they usually did whenever they fell asleep together.

"I'm just tired, I've been up since six in the morning today." Louis snuggled up closer to him unable to stop thinking that there was a possibility that maybe in a week he wouldn't get to do that anymore.

"Go to sleep love, we have a long day tomorrow." Harry kissed his forehead then his lips before Louis fell asleep.

When they woke up Evan and Logan were already gone and they could hear them outside talking to Liam along with Zayn and the twins. Louis hid his face on Harry's chest wanting to sleep a little longer but shot up from his spot when he heard Evan's loud piercing cries recognizing them as him being in pain. He ran out of his tent followed by Harry ignoring the chilly morning air seeing their son in Logan's arms while Zayn rubbed the top of his left hand.

"What happened? Baby, what's wrong?" Louis was quick to pick him up rubbing his back while he cried holding onto his hand.

"He was bitten by a harmless spider but don't worry, its more the shock than the pain and he's going to be okay. Its just going to swell up a little." Zayn explained and all Harry and Louis could do was comfort their son.

"Its okay buddy, you're fine." Harry cooed at him taking him in his arms where he continued crying and hiding his face on Harry's neck.

"Do you have something for the pain?" Louis asked Liam seeing the rest walking out of their tents to see what was going on.

"I have ointment to numb it a little." Liam started looking through a first aid kit while Evan only seemed to get louder the more time passed by.

"Its okay baby." Harry kissed the side of his head then wiped away his tears going back to kissing his hand then looked at Louis. "Louis, the ointment."

"I'm coming." Louis said as he helped Liam look for it.

"Daddy..." Evan sobbed pulling away to look at Harry with wide eyes.

"I know it hurts baby." Harry soothed as he rubbed his back.

"Daddy, I don't want to be spider-man." Evan hiccuped and all everyone did was stare until Louis broke the silence.

"Is that why you're crying? You don't want to be spider-man?" Louis asked.

"No, I don't want to be him." Evan continued crying.

"Sweety, you need the special spider to become spider-man. That wasn't the special spider, it was just a friend of the special spider." Louis explained taking him from Harry to cuddle him and smiled when he stopped crying to look at the small area of skin that was a bit red and swollen.

"They friends daddy?" Jeremy asked from his spot next to Chloe as she nodded, both of them looking up at Zayn with questioning looks.

"Yeah, she's friends with the special spider but now she went home and we aren't allowed to touch the other friends." Zayn explained.

"No touching." Chloe agreed lifting her arms up so he could pick her up smiling when Zayn kissed her cheek.

"Found it!" Liam exclaimed giving them the small tube.

Harry was quick to put a small amount over the tiny bite then kissed his wrist to make it feel better while the rest prepared breakfast and Logan stood next to them making sure her brother was okay.

"Is bub going to be okay, daddy?" She asked chewing on her bottom lip worried about her little brother.

"He's fine love, he just needs a bit of time before he's back to normal." Louis smiled at her reaching to hug her feeling her nodding against his chest.

Soon enough Evan was back to himself running around along with Jeremy and Chloe as Logan chased them then moved on to exploring around before they were called to go eat lunch. When they were done eating they walked around remembering the old times laughing as they did so until Louis started laughing remembering the whole spider and Drew deal followed by Eleanor.

"It was just a spider...a tiny one." Eleanor laughed holding onto Liam to keep herself from doubling over as he held Eric in his arms.

"He was terrified of them." Harry looked down chuckling.

"Did I really threw it at him?" Logan giggled from where she was walking holding hands with Chloe.

"You said it was your friend and you just wanted to show it to him." Louis explained making Eleanor laugh even harder.

"You told her to throw at him, didn't you?" Niall gave her a knowing look that had her making chocking noises.

"What! No! She just...okay, I did told her to show it to him cause he loved holding them but she just...she just threw it at him." Eleanor explained.

"I thought you were innocent, El." Louis smiled feeling Harry wrapping his arm around his waist.

"He had it coming." Eleanor shrugged still trying to catch her breath.

"He did an- Jeremy Austin! What did I say about touching spiders." Zayn yelled just in time before his son and Evan could even bend down to touch the not so small arachnid.

"I no touching daddy." Jeremy quickly took a step back while Evan stayed where he was watching it run away then walked back to Louis' side grabbing his and Harry's hands.

"Please come hold my hand." Niall said pleased that his son listened to him watching him run to him.

"Papa up!" Jeremy demanded. "Please."

After Jeremy had said please Niall happily picked him up and cuddled him against his chest where his son yawned having missed his afternoon nap because he wanted to play with Evan after not seeing him for a while.

"I think Niall, the kids and I might be moving into the neighborhood, Louis." Zayn casually said making Louis stop in his tracks as well as Harry and Evan who squealed when he tripped on a rock, lucky for him Harry was quick to hold him up by the arm.

"When? Is it close to our house. Please tell me its the house in front of ours." Louis said rather excited at the idea of having them close.

"It is, Niall really liked it but I'm still not sure. Its a bit big but the backyard is amazing and we need more space." Zayn said.

"It will be nice to have you all close, that way the kids can see each other more often." Louis nodded.

"I think we'll buy it. Means I get to spend more time with my cupcake." Zayn smiled wrapping an arm around Logan when she walked up to him with Chloe in her arms.

"So that means you're gonna move, uncle Zayn?" Logan asked looking up at him.

The sight of bright green/blue eyes as well as his daughter's bright blue ones had Zayn's heart melting just by looking at them. There was no denying that he liked to spoil his girls rotten even though Louis would always put a limit to it when it came to Logan yet that had never stopped him before and it wasn't going to in the future.

"We might, cupcake." Zayn smiled chuckling when she squealed.

When they got back to their campsite it was almost time for dinner and after eating and two hours later they had a bonfire telling old stories about their childhoods. Everybody had groaned when Louis was telling the story of the first time Harry had talked to him which had ended up with him spraying Harry with water saying a quiet hi after his husband's oops and all Harry had done was smile like an idiot.

"This is the millionth time you tell that story, daddy." Logan groaned slapping Evan's hand away when he kept poking her side.

"And I shall keep telling it until the day I die so deal with it." Louis said.

"Well that was when you two officially started talking," Niall giggled.

"Before that Harry used to stalk Louis through his bedroom window." Zayn finished what Niall was trying to say before he started laughing.

"I did not!" Harry blushed a deep red then covered his face with his hands.

"Mate..." Zayn tilted his head to the side then looked at him with a bored expression.

"I was just observing." Harry defended himself.

"Mhm, observing is the right word." Eleanor whistled at the end trying not to disturb a sleeping Eric.

"He was just observing me, leave him alone." Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's neck kissing the top of his head and smiled when Harry hid his face on the crook of his neck.

"Whatever you say Louis." Liam chuckled.

" 'Ogan I'm sleepy." Evan interrupted their teasing trying to get his sister to hold him by trying to crawl on her lap next to a passed out Chloe.

"I think its time to go to bed." Eleanor sighed getting up.

After saying their good nights they all went to bed and by Sunday afternoon they were back home getting ready for their week to start. The more the days passed by the more worried Louis got just thinking about the possibility of being pregnant and the fact that Evan had stopped sleeping with them choosing to sleep with his sister didn't help when it only gave Harry the chance to fuck his brains out still using the faulty condoms. He always made sure to be the one putting them on and getting rid of them not wanting Harry to notice them.

They still had a few in their drawer and when he had tried to replace them with the ones Harry had gotten that day he almost got caught by Harry when he got back from work earlier than he had told him that same morning. After that he never had the chance to throw them away when he would always get interrupted either by Harry or their children and it only made him more nervous. A week later and three weeks after his and Harry's weekend together Niall had convinced Zayn and Liam to entertain Harry and the kids by inviting them to a football game of their local team.

"Do you have them?" Louis' voice trembled after letting Niall and Eleanor in.

"I got you six, plenty to be sure." Niall handed him a bag full of pregnancy tests while Eleanor a bottle of Gatorade.

"Don't stress Lou, whatever happens we're here for you." Eleanor hugged him followed by Niall.

Louis nodded and after drinking almost all the Gatorade he made his way to the bathroom in the hallway while Niall and Eleanor waited in the kitchen. After he was done he set up the three minute timer then placed them on top of the counter facing down not wanting to look at them right away.

"Please be negative, please be negative." Louis repeated like a mantra as he washed his hands.

He waited until the timer went off and that's when his heart started pounding on his chest leaving him paralyzed where he was sitting on top of the toilet lid. With shaky hands he stopped the alarm and slowly got up looking away as he turned all six tests around, he took a deep breath then looked down.

_Negative_

_Positive_

_Positive_

_Negative_

_Positive_

_Positive_

"Oh god no, please no." Louis burst out crying regretting doing what he had done not thinking about the consequences when all he could think about was having a baby.

"Louis?" He heard Eleanor's voice as she frantically knocked on the door.

"Louis, are you okay? Babe open the door." Niall said trying to open it but all Louis could do was stare at the six tests as if they were the plague.

His marriage was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> Chapter 35 of Ghost of You when Evan was born and Harry was telling Louis about his tattoos I messed up and had Harry as the one saying Hi when it was meant to be Louis the one saying that. I'll go back and fix it later, just wanted to let you guys know.
> 
> So what do you guys think? How do you think Harry is going to react to the news that he's going to be a father again? Do you think Louis is going to tell him the truth or lie? Do you think Harry will leave Louis?


	4. I said I love you and I swear I still do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment. Enjoy! :)

He could barely hear the pounding on the bathroom door when all he could focus on were the positive pregnancy tests and what the hell was he going to do now. He started crying again then with slow steps walked to the door opening it without saying anything letting both of his friends in.

"Are you okay?" Niall asked.

"No. I- I'm pregnant, four of them are po- positive. Oh god, he's going to leave me and my kids won't have his father around because of my stupidity." Louis started hyperventilating feeling like he was slowly suffocating.

"Louis calm down, breathe. Breathe with me, together." Eleanor placed her hands on his cheeks trying to calm him down.

Louis' breath regulated once again but continued crying watching Niall putting all the tests in a bag to get rid of them and keep Harry from finding them. They led him to the kitchen where they made him sit on one of the barstools and soon enough Niall placed a cup of tea in front of him.

"You need to calm down Louis, its bad for you and the baby." Niall said then wished he hadn't when Louis just started crying harder at the mention of the baby.

The baby he had tricked Harry into creating.

"He's going to leave me. He can't leave me...I don't want him to leave me." Louis continued talking, mostly whispering to himself.

"Louis, Louis listen to me." Eleanor gently grabbed his chin to make him look at her. "He's not going to leave you, he'll be a little upset but he's not going to leave you."

"Maybe...maybe if I get rid of it. That tea, Eleanor the tea. Niall I need..." Louis started looking around with wide eyes almost lost in his own world.

"What are you talking about, what tea?" Niall asked.

"I used it once...when- when I tried to get rid of Logan." Louis said without thinking then stopped breathing when he realized what he had just done.

"You did what?" Niall asked almost in tears praying that he had heard wrong.

"Louis...that day, when you almost lost her." Eleanor said.

"I- I drank some tea that was meant to cause an abortion...please, you have to understand I was desperate and I didn't know what to do." Louis started crying again.

"We understand Lou, but you can't get rid of your baby. He or she is just an innocent." Niall hugged him.

"I'm not gonna do that, I- I don't know what I was thinking. I'm just scared and I have no one else to blame but myself."

"I know it's hard but you have to tell Harry. Don't lie to him anymore, tell him the truth." Eleanor rubbed his back then picked up the cup of tea offering it to him smiling when he took it and started taking small sips.

"T- Tonight when he gets back." Louis' voice trembled knowing that the worst Harry could do would be leaving him.

Niall and Eleanor stayed until they were sure Louis was going to be okay then left after making him promise them he was going to tell Harry the truth and that he wasn't going to do something stupid. Once Louis was alone he spent a whole hour crying next to Buttercup wishing he could take it all back yet he would it all over again already so in love with his and Harry's new baby.

~*~

"Daddy I want pocorn." Evan tugged on one of Harry's sleeves from where he was sitting on the seat in front of his until he gave him the bag of popcorn.

"Share with the rest baby, I got it for them too." Harry smiled leaning forward to give him the bag.

They were sitting on the bleachers in the middle of a football game and so far their team was winning. Liam had a quiet Eric on his lap as his son played with his stuffed bunny while the rest of the kids were sitting in front of them eating the popcorn Evan was holding onto for dear life.

"I'm surprised Niall isn't here, he loves coming to the games." Liam commented making Zayn shift uncomfortably on Harry's other side and check his phone for any texts from his husband.

"He wanted to spend time with Louis and Eleanor plus he wants to familiarize with the neighborhood. Tomorrow's the big move." Zayn forced a smile.

"Hopefully he'll figure out what's wrong with Louis, he's been acting weird all week and won't tell me what's going on. Do you know something, Zayn?" Harry turned to ask Zayn who took the chance to make things easier for Louis.

"I don't known how to tell you this since he finally agreed to it but he's still upset about it, you know, how he wants another baby." Zayn slowly said watching how Harry's face went from worried to neutral.

"I do want another baby, heck, I want a thousand more but what I don't want is to ruin their lives." Harry rubbed his hands on his face.

"You're not gonna ruin them H, if they do turn out to be blind they can still live a normal life...a few limitations but normal." Liam quickly said seeing how tired he looked.

"If I can protect them from any kind of pain or harm then I will and I will not harm my own child that way...I- I am not going to...I don't want to be like him." Harry felt his eyes stinging with tears remembering his biological father.

Both Zayn and Liam watched with with sad eyes how Harry was still hurting even after four years. It had taken Harry two years after his father's death to tell them all the things he had gone through because of him. They had all been in his and Louis' home one Saturday afternoon after eating dinner having decided to go to the backyard. Liam had mentioned Adam and after an awkward silence Harry had started talking not stopping until everything was out in the open when Zayn mentioned how beat up he was that day and how he had told them it had been Adam the one to hit him..

"You are not like him and will never be like him, you're much better than him and a better father." Liam wrapped his free arm around his shoulder.

"Just think about it Harry, you're nothing like him and even if the baby turns out to be blind then it won't matter because it will still be loved by all of us and both you and Louis are amazing parents. That baby will have everything it needs and all the love that we're all going to give him or her plus we'll make sure to help as much as we can. They will have a normal life because them being blind won't matter, sure they won't be able to do some things on their own and that's why they'll have great parents as well as uncles, aunts and cousins there for them." Zayn finished his speech earning a tiny smile and a few tears from Harry that he was quick to wipe away.

"I'm just scared." Harry looked down at his lap then back at the kids who were too engrossed in the game.

"Don't be scared, like Zayn said we're all here for you." Liam smiled then offered his squirming baby for Harry to hold.

Harry smiled taking Eric in his arms who went still then settled down once he was comfortable still playing with his stuffed bunny. As he held Eric he continued thinking about what they had talked about, he smiled at Eric tickling his tummy receiving a smile then hugged him closer to his chest kissing his tiny forehead. He continued watching the game making sure his kids were behaving and just wanting to go home and talk to Louis.

When they got home later that afternoon both Logan and Evan were exhausted and as soon as they had eaten something light for dinner and had taken a shower they went straight to bed falling asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow. Louis had made sure Logan was okay with Evan sleeping with her and as soon as she nodded he and Harry kissed them goodnight and walked downstairs to their bedroom leaving Buttercup sleeping with them in his own bed.

"Harry...I have to tell you something." Louis said as soon as Harry had closed the door.

"I have to tell you something too, I've been thinking about it and-" Harry started.

"Please let me tell you first, I- I have to tell you and if after this you don't want to be with me I'll understand. I fucked up." Louis started crying taking a seat at the edge of the bed.

"Love what's wrong? Why are you crying? I'm not gonna leave you, I love you so much and I promised you I would never leave you. Don't cry." Harry was quick to run to him and wrap his arms around his husband rubbing his back with one of his hands.

"I'm sorry! I was stupid and I wasn't thinking when I did what I did." Louis sobbed against his chest holding onto him not wanting to let him go.

"Whatever it is just tell me Lou. I'm never going to leave you no matter what happens." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and gently picked him up setting him down on his lap where he continued hugging him and kissing the side of his head.

"I'm sorry. I- I'm pr- pregnant." Louis sobbed against his chest waiting for Harry to push him away but instead he heard nor felt anything.

"You- you, you're p- pregnant?" Harry stuttered pulling away from Louis yet still holding onto him by the waist.

"I'm sorry!" Louis wailed trying to get him to hug him tighter.

"That's- Louis that's wonderful!" Harry exclaimed startling Louis.

Louis stared at Harry who had a goofy smile on his face, he searched for something, anything that would tell him Harry was hiding all his anger but found nothing.

"Why aren't you angry, I- I thought you didn't want another baby." Louis wiped his face with his sleeves ignoring the fact that Harry hated whenever they did that, that's why they have tissues in almost every room in the house.

"Zayn and Liam talked to me about that and I don't know, I was going to tell you that if you want to we could try for another baby, but now we don't have to wait any longer because in nine months or less we're gonna have another baby." Harry smiled brighter than ever as he kissed all over Louis' face.

Louis felt happy, he wanted to stay happy but couldn't when he remembered what he had done and how they had conceived their baby. He looked into Harry's eyes finding nothing but happiness as they shined so bright and he wanted to tell him, he really did.

He gasped when Harry pushed him down on the bed on his back then lifted his shirt up nuzzling his face against his still flat stomach and over his scars he had tried so hard to somehow get rid of. The guilt grew when Harry started kissing all over his stomach and wanted to cry when Harry said his first ever words to their baby.

"I love you baby, we all love you." Harry said then kissed Louis' stomach once again.

He knew it was wrong but in that moment he figured out things were the way they were supposed to be, he didn't want Harry to hate him or their baby for what he had done. He stayed quiet deciding to keep it to himself and never utter a word about it ever again.

"I hope its a girl, we need a baby girl." Harry crawled up next to Louis where Louis was quick to rest his head on Harry's chest while Harry rubbed circles on his tummy.

"A Leighton? I still want to name it Leighton Grace if its a girl." Louis smiled.

"We should wait until you're at least four months to tell the kids, and we need to schedule a doctor's appointment."

"Whatever you want, cookie" Louis kissed his cheek then his lips.

~*~

By the next day Harry had scheduled an appointment for Louis with Dr. Lane for Friday morning since it was his free day and he wanted to be there for their first ever scan. Louis had completely stopped talking about the subject and instead focused on helping Niall and Zayn move into their new home across the street without Liam and Eleanor's help since they were out of town visiting Eleanor's parents. For Louis it was like going through the same thing all over again when Harry banned him from lifting heavy items and even carrying Evan when their son kept pulling on his shirt to get him to hold him.

"Babe, where are you going?" Harry stopped on his way to the second floor carrying a large box when he saw Louis walking by.

"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom, looks like this one is gonna make me want to go pee all the time." Louis smiled as he rubbed his stomach.

"Okay, remember that I don't want you lifting heavy items." Harry gave him a tiny smile then continued on his way glad that the kids were in the backyard with Buttercup.

"Ow..." Louis leaned against the door as soon as he had closed it holding onto the right side of his stomach where he could feel a dulling ache.

"Why are you giving daddy a hard time, huh? Ow...hope you're okay in there." Louis grimaced still rubbing onto the same spot then grabbed a fistful of his own shirt pressing his lips into a thin line to keep himself from screaming when the pain increased.

He slowly made his way to the toilet and closed the lid sitting on top of it gently rubbing his stomach until the pain disappeared as fast as it had appeared. He stayed there a few minutes until he felt better then washed his hands going back to helping Niall set up the twins' rooms.

"Hey Lou, I was looking for you." Niall said as soon as Louis stepped into Chloe's bedroom.

"I was in the bathroom." Louis tried to smile trying not to panic when he started hurting again then relaxed when it was gone.

"I'm so glad their cribs convert into beds or I would have to buy two beds again." Niall sighed as soon as he had finished doing Chloe's bed.

"We got Evan the same kind of crib and now we're gonna have to buy another crib." Louis said already thinking about all the cute baby things he and Harry were going to get for the newest addition to the family.

"Zayn told me Harry's so excited about the new baby, told you it was going to be okay." Niall said assuming Louis had told him about the condoms making him feel guiltier.

"Yeah, I'm happy he's happy."

They silently continued setting up her room then Jeremy's until dinner time when the kids started complaining about being hungry to the point of dying of starvation. Zayn ended up ordering pizza sitting down around the kitchen table to eat it happy that they were now closer to each other.

Their week continued the same without nothing major happening except for the random bursts of pain Louis would have on his stomach brushing it off as nothing choosing to keep quiet at least until Friday during his appointment. Wednesday morning before school Evan decided he wanted to go spend the night with Jeremy and Niall had invited Logan wanting to spend more time with her. Both Louis and Harry had agreed since they weren't going to be far away in case something bad happened and by Thursday night Evan had a small power ranger's duffel bag filled with his pajamas, Harry the teddy bear he had named after his daddy and a clean change of clothes.

"I'm gonna go drop them off, be back in a bit." Louis gave Harry a quick kiss then left the house holding Evan's hand not wanting him to run off on his own like he usually did while Logan had Buttercup on a leash.

Harry stayed on their bed reading a book until the half open drawer on Louis' side of the bed started bothering him seeing how messy it was and the bottle of lube laying there out in the open. He put his book on his nightstand and slowly crawled his way there opening it and seeing the half empty box of condoms raising his eyebrows in surprise when he noticed they still had quite a few.

Remembering about the faulty condoms situation he got up and grabbed the trashcan going back to Louis' side of the bed taking a seat on the edge as he started throwing them away checking for the expiration dates. He furrowed his brow in confusion when he noticed they weren't expired yet, but threw them away anyway wondering if Louis would mind doing it without one since he had already knocked him up anyway.

He was still checking them doing a double take on one of them when he noticed the tiny holes all over it then turned the lamp light on feeling his face getting hotter when he clearly saw all the holes. His hands started shaking as he grabbed the box dumping its contents on the bed checking each and every single one of them feeling anger building up and spreading throughout his body.

His hands were shaking leaving him unable to put them back in the box choosing to just grab them along with the box as he stormed into the great room dumping them on the coffee table taking a seat on the couch to wait for Louis. While he waited he shoved them back in the box then focused on slowing down his breathing trying to relax but couldn't when all the weird things Louis did during that weekend finally had an explanation. The weird positions, Louis wanting him to stay inside of him longer than usual and the way he insisted to help him put it on then get rid of the used condoms himself.

Louis had planned everything, Louis had tricked him into getting him pregnant.

He doesn't know how long he stayed there just staring at the box of condoms and waiting for Louis to get back trying to calm down. After what felt like forever he finally heard the front door opening then closing just as Louis shouted that he was home. He stayed quiet while Louis kept calling for him tensing up when he walked into the room looking all soft and cuddly with his black sweater but that didn't mattered anymore.

"There you are, I kept calling for you." Louis walked in stopping when he saw Harry's expression, it reminded him of the one he always used to have before a beating back then as he quickly tried to forget it.

"Do you know what this is?" Harry asked making Louis flinch at his cold hard tone.

Louis focused his gaze on the spot Harry was pointing at then his eyes widened when he saw the box of condoms feeling his heart dropping and his breathing rate increasing.

"A box of condoms." Louis replied already feeling his eyes stinging with unshed tears.

"You left the lube where Evan and Logan could have seen it..I was trying to put it somewhere else." Harry said staring straight ahead avoiding Louis. "But these aren't just condoms, they're special condoms and you want to know why... _love_."

"Harry..." Louis visibly trembled wrapping his arms around his stomach then couldn't help but let the tears fall when Harry started laughing just the way he used to whenever he would make fun of him and humiliate him.

"Some of them have holes all over them...and they expired on different dates when they all should expire on the same date." Harry said as he laughed then stopped to look at Louis expecting him to say something.

Louis took a step back then turned around to make a run for it to their bedroom gasping when he felt Harry's hand around his arm making him walk back to where he had been sitting.

"Let go, you're hurting me." Louis tried to get out of his grip but Harry only tightened his hold forcing him to sit down then grabbed the box throwing it at him seeing all the condoms falling on his lap and some on the floor around his feet.

"Why?" Harry stood in front of Louis getting angrier the longer Louis said nothing.

"Why!?" He finally shouted hearing his sniffles not giving a fuck if he was crying.

"I- I just wanted a b- baby." Louis sniffled pushing the condoms off of his lap not daring to look at Harry.

"Well congratulations, you got your fucking baby."

Louis froze when he heard those last two words feeling all the fear and shame going down the drain and instead it was replaced with anger. He looked up at Harry seeing how angry he was yet his own expression could rival Harry's own.

"Don't you dare call my baby that you bastard." Louis got up and pushed Harry out of the way just wanting to be away from him.

"Yeah, _your_ baby." Harry called after him making him stop and turn around.

"Yes, _my_ baby! Because this isn't your baby and neither are Logan and Evan." Louis shouted.

"Don't you dare bring them into this! Do you have any idea...were you even thinking when you thought it would be a good idea, do you even think at all." Harry took a step forward getting angrier when Louis took another one back.

"I just wanted a baby, I- I wanted us to have another baby." Louis teared up then started full on crying ignoring the dull pain on his right side.

"Yeah but not like this Louis, not when I wasn't ready and certainly not when you tricked me into it." Harry shouted ignoring the way Louis flinched then stared at him with eyes filled with nothing but hate.

"Oh, so it was okay for you to råpe me and force a child on me that I didn't even want but its not okay for me to get the baby I want." Louis shouted hating how his voice trembled as he did so then put a hand over his mouth as his eyes widened but it was too late.

Harry felt as if he was getting stabbed multiple times followed by shame but soon saw red not really knowing why when he should be feeling like the rabid animal he was, yet a rabid animal was better than he was.

"So this is your revenge? Being a slut and tricking me into something I didn't want." Harry glared but it was soon wiped away when he felt Louis' hand colliding with his left cheekbone.

"How fucking dare you, you son of a bitch!" Louis screamed as he cried and punched his chest and all Harry did was take them all for saying something he never meant deep inside nor meant to say out loud.

"Louis, I'm so-"

"If you fucking hate it so much then leave! I don't need you, I raised one on my own and I can do it again." Louis continued his assaults until Harry wrapped his arms around him trying to calm him down knowing it was bad for the baby.

"Calm down!" Harry shouted holding him tighter while Louis struggled to set himself free.

"Let go! If you don't leave then I will and I swear you'll never see us again." Louis continued struggling until he doubled over still in Harry's arms when the pain on the right side of his stomach came back but this time stronger than before making it almost unbearable.

"Louis! Louis...baby." Harry carefully lifted him up trying not to panic when all Louis did was hold onto his side before letting out a pained scream grabbing fistfuls of Harry's shirt then buried his face on his chest to muffle his screams..

"Don't touch m- ahh! Don't...just don't." Louis tried pushing him away taking deep breaths and just like it had come, it slowly faded away leaving them in a tense silence.

"We're going to the hospital." Harry said trying to pick him up but Louis was quick to push him away.

"Don't touch me! I don't want you with me tomorrow, this isn't your baby." Louis slowly got up and started making his way to their- now his bedroom as slow as he could still feeling a bit of pain every time he took a step.

"Louis please don't do this, you- you have to go to the hospital and make sure nothing's wrong." Harry begged going after him.

"Like you care! You clearly don't give a fuck about this baby so just...fuck off." Louis walked a little bit faster and as soon as he was in his bedroom he slammed the door shut locking it and ignoring Harry's pleas to let him in as well as his apologies.

Harry leaned against the door then slowly slumped down quickly wiping away the tears once again hating himself and realizing that no matter what he did, his past would never leave him alone. No matter what he did to leave everything behind, his past would always haunt him. He stayed there leaning against the door hearing Louis' sniffles and sometimes him talking to their baby telling it he still loved him or her and would always do no matter what. Harry wanted to break in and tell him that he too loved their baby no matter what, that he would never hate his own children just like he was hated on.

He doesn't know when but soon his eyelids felt too heavy and his body started relaxing falling completely asleep just outside their bedroom after once again begging him to let him in hearing nothing in return.

~*~

Louis was still crying laying down on Harry's side of the bed as he gently rubbed his stomach feeling relieved that the pain was somehow gone yet he was still worried. Almost an hour later he could no longer hear Harry begging him to let him in but could see he was still on the other side of the door. He fought the urge to get up and let him in but couldn't when he remembered all the things they had shouted at each other knowing Harry hadn't meant an of it as well as he didn't meant what he had said yet it still hurt to hear it.

"I get to maybe see you tomorrow, sweety. Please be a good baby and be okay, just be okay for your daddy and I." Louis rubbed circles on his stomach then slowly got up to go and take a shower.

Once he was in the bathroom he stripped down to his boxers then walked to the shower turning it on waiting for the water to warm up and as soon as it was warm he took his boxers off freezing when he saw them. Fear rushed through his body just by looking at the light spots of blood staining his white boxers.

"No...Harry! Please no, Harry!" Louis screamed trying to run back to the bedroom where Harry was already awake when he heard him screaming for him trying to open the door.

"Louis, Louis open the door!" Harry shouted trying to open it.

Louis managed to get halfway there abruptly stopping when he started hurting again on the same spot but this time he couldn't stay up falling down on his side. His surroundings started getting hazy barely hearing Harry desperately kicking at the door until it slammed open and he could make out his tall figure rushing over to his side.

"I'm here, I'm here." Harry was quick to pick him up putting him on the bed quickly dressing him up again after turning the water off and picking up his clothes.

"Ha- Harry...my baby!' Louis sobbed knowing Harry had seen the blood when his eyes widened and tried to hurry up.

"Oh god...Louis open your eyes. Baby look at me, look at me dammit! Open your eyes." Harry begged grabbing his phone to call an ambulance.

Louis tried to stay awake but his eyes slowly started closing when he saw the dark spots clouding his vision and the last thing he heard was Harry begging him to stay awake wishing he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> So please don't kill me. :)


	5. I wanted to keep you forever next to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!
> 
> I finished the chapter early and decided to update today, there won't be another update this Sunday but until the next which is January 31st. A few warnings before you read! I don't want to spoil anything but I have to for your safety, this chapter deals with the topic of miscarriage and if its something that could trigger any of you please don't read. I don't want anything bad to happen to any of you. With that said please continue.

Harry was still in hysterics when he saw the ambulance through the window rushing over to open the door for them leading them to the bedroom and telling them to hurry up. He couldn't stop crying as he explained what had happened and that he was only four weeks pregnant. He watched them put him on a stretcher careful not to jostle him too much then followed them outside where he saw Zayn running out of his house and Niall trying to keep the kids inside.

"Harry, what happened!?" Zayn stopped in front of him watching Louis with wide eyes.

"H- He's bleeding...the- the baby." Harry said wanting to go to Logan when she managed to get out of Niall's hold but he was quick to grab her by the arm pulling her back inside as she thrashed in his arms and the rest started crying following them inside.

"I'll meet you at the hospital and you better explain what happened when I get there." Zayn pushed him inside the ambulance then grabbed his phone to call Dr. Lane.

Harry spent the ride to the hospital holding onto Louis' hands silently crying as Louis kept waking up for short amount of times before passing out again. When he was told it was from the shock he only felt guiltier blaming himself for it at seeing the tears rolling down Louis' temples when he managed to stay awake for a few more minutes.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Harry held onto his hand kissing his knuckles holding in the sobs when Louis said nothing and his eyes closed again.

When they got there he was forced to stay in the waiting room seeing Louis and the paramedics disappearing from view and he was left alone to wait. A few minutes later Zayn rushed through the doors going straight to him and if looks could kill then Harry would be dead by now.

"What the hell did you do to him?" Zayn demanded standing in front of him.

"I f- found the condoms and I got angry...I confronted him about it and we said a few things. He just started hurting and locked himself in the bedroom and I don't know...he- he just started bleeding." Harry explained noticing Zayn's guilty expression. "You knew?"

"We told him to tell you and after you told me he was pregnant I assumed he had told you." Zayn was quick to explain taking a seat next to Harry when all he did was cover his face with his hands.

"If he loses that baby I'll never forgive myself...I- I should have just let it go." Harry started crying again feeling Zayn's arm around him.

"Logan saw him but Niall managed to calm her down, they're both okay so don't worry about them." Zayn rubbed his back then got up when he saw Dr. Lane approaching them.

"Are they okay? Please tell me he and the baby are okay." Harry pleaded.

"Louis is okay and the bleeding stopped before he got here, it was nothing big but according to the paramedics that brought him in he's four weeks pregnant." Dr. Lane said sounding more like she was questioning them.

"He is pregnant, my husband was there when four out of six tests came back positive." Zayn answered for Harry who didn't know what to do or say.

"According to the blood and urine tests he is indeed pregnant but when I tried to do an ultrasound I couldn't find the embryo anywhere." Dr. Lane explained confusing them even more then turned to look at Harry. "I need your permission to do an internal ultrasound, I need to see what's going on before I decide on any kind of treatment."

"Do whatever you want but please save them." Harry quickly agreed receiving a nod from her before she walked away.

An hour later Harry was desperately pacing back and forth in front of Zayn until a nurse approached them asking him to follow her. He looked at Zayn getting a nod from him then followed her to a room where he saw an awake Louis laying on the bed as soon as he had walked in.

"Harry!" Louis wailed as soon as he saw him and lifted his arms trying to reach for him.

"Don't cry love, everything's going to be okay." Harry hugged him cupping the back of his head kissing the top of it as he rubbed small circles on his back with his other hand.

"They won't t- tell me what's going on." Louis buried his face on his chest praying that their baby was okay.

"The doctor will be here soon to tell us but please don't cry." Harry couldn't help but let the tears fall wanting Louis to calm down then hugged him tighter when he started shaking.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean anything of what I said. I'm sorry." Louis looked up at Harry surprised to see he was crying too and it only made him worry more.

"I didn't mean it either...and I don't hate our baby, you'll see everything is going to be okay." Harry kissed his forehead then his lips before letting him rest his head on his chest.

Louis quickly pulled away when he saw Dr. Lane walking into the room as he searched for anything based on her expression but couldn't find anything. She had a stack of papers in her hands as she looked at them then took a deep breath as soon as Harry looked at her still holding Louis close to him.

"Before I let you know what's going on I need to ask you a few questions." She said getting closer to Louis.

"What's going on?" Louis asked ignoring what she had just said.

"For the past week, have you been feeling ill? Pain?" She asked.

"F- For the past week...I've been cramping on my right side but I thought nothing of it." Louis answered.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry pulled him closer hoping for good news.

"We did a few tests when you were brought in and I was told you are four weeks pregnant but when I tried looking for the embryo I couldn't find it anywhere."

"So...I'm not pregnant?" Louis asked feeling extremely confused and a hole in his chest.

"You are pregnant but-"

"But what? What aren't you telling me! Is my baby okay?" Louis interrupted her getting desperate.

"The blood tests showed an abnormal rise in the (Beta HCG) hormone which is usually used to detect pregnancies. When I did the internal ultrasound I confirmed what I had already suspected, the embryo failed to attach correctly to your uterine walls and instead did so in your right Fallopian tube resulting in an ectopic pregnancy. That's why you were feeling pain on your right side."

"My baby's okay right?" Louis' voice cracked looking at her then at Harry with teary eyes.

"The baby's okay, right? Just tell us our baby's okay." Harry felt his heart beating faster then his world crashed around him when she looked down then back at him.

"The embryo attached to one of his Fallopian tubes and I'm really sorry to tell you this but in these cases the embryo never survives." She explained watching Louis bursts into tears wishing things were easier.

"No...please do something." Louis begged pushing Harry away from him.

"I'm really sorry Louis, I wish I could but there's nothing I can do. If you don't miscarry on your own we're gonna have to terminate the pregnancy before it causes a rupture and internal bleeding." She walked up to him trying to grab his hand but he was quick to pull it away from her.

"No, please don't!" Louis scooted away from her then looked at Harry expecting him to do something.

"Is there any other way? Do you have to terminate it?" Harry asked.

"If we let it and the product doesn't die on its own it could cause a rupture and internal bleeding, he'll need surgery to fix it which can cause scarring and infertility...we might have to remove it if its too damaged. If we don't treat it now it can be serious enough to cause death, there's nothing else we can do." She gave them a sorry look.

"Then let me die! I'm not gonna kill my baby." Louis glared at them.

"Louis you can't do this...I- I can't let you die, think about Logan and Evan." Harry tried to look him in the eye but Louis was quick to look away not wanting to see him.

"Of course you'll let it die, you hate it after all. My baby offed itself because of you, its your fault my baby wants to die!" Louis screamed at him pushing Harry's hands away from him leaving him stunned.

"Louis that's not-" Dr. Lane tried to explain but was interrupted by a furious Louis.

"Shut up! You don't know shit, you don't know anything and if I die with my baby then so be it but I'm not gonna let you and this bastard kill it." Louis yelled trying to get out of the bed to get away from them.

Harry was quick to hold him down as he thrashed on the bed screaming that it was his fault and even if Harry was hurting too not wanting to lose their baby he just couldn't lose Louis. Louis started sobbing begging him to let him go until Dr. Lane sedated him and he slowly lost consciousness then stopped moving falling into a deep sleep while Harry was left to wipe away his tears.

"What's gonna happen now?" Harry hiccuped still looking at Louis not wanting to take his eyes off of him.

"Its still early into the pregnancy and if it doesn't resolve on its own then we're gonna have to terminate it before it can cause any damage." She explained.

"You mean if he doesn't miscarry on his own then you're gonna have to induce it?" Harry's voice trembled running his fingers through Louis' hair.

"I'm really sorry Harry but we have to if we want to save his life, if everything goes well he'll still be able to get pregnant again in the near future and have a healthy baby. I need to do a few more tests then he'll be able to go home where we'll have to wait and see, if he doesn't miscarry on his own by next Thursday then we're gonna have to go ahead and terminate it." She placed her hand on his shoulder receiving a nod then left them alone and as soon as he was alone he buried his face on Louis' stomach where he cried trying not to make much noise.

Half an hour later Harry found himself walking to the waiting room where Zayn was along with Liam and Eleanor running straight to Liam's arms. He had been told by Dr. Lane that she had already explained what was going on and he was somehow grateful not having the energy or the will to tell them his and Louis' baby was going to die and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Its going to be okay, we're here for you." Liam mumbled as he rubbed his back, his heart breaking when he heard the loud sobs then felt him shaking.

"Do you want us to call your moms?" Eleanor asked.

"They didn't even know he was pregnant...if Louis wants to then we will." Harry said receiving a nod and an understanding look.

Louis was released from the hospital at midnight and spent the whole ride ignoring Harry only letting Zayn hold him while Liam drove them back with Eleanor following them and as soon as he was home he locked himself in his bedroom not even bothering to ask about Logan and Evan. Harry was quick to check on them thanking Niall and nodding when he offered to watch them until what needed to happen happened. He left their house and as soon as he got home and Zayn had left he walked straight to their bedroom finding the door halfway open and Louis already in bed with his back facing him.

He slowly made his way there stopping on his side of the bed not knowing what to do until he heard Louis' sniffles and as fast as he could got on the bed and wrapped his arms around him sighing in relief when Louis didn't push him away. Instead, Louis turned around and buried his face on his chest letting Harry hold him and let himself cry until he fell asleep.

The next morning Harry woke up earlier than usual to make sure Logan and Evan were ready for school not really wanting to leave Louis alone even though he was still in a deep sleep. Just as he was about to leave he heard the garage door opening and seconds later Zayn walked in with Logan and a still sleepy Evan in his arms.

"Daddy." Logan burst out crying as soon as she saw Harry then ran to him.

"Its okay bug, don't cry sweetheart. Daddy's going to be okay." Harry hugged her as he rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head trying to calm her down.

"I saw him daddy..." Logan wailed against Harry's chest setting Evan up in tears too.

Harry's eyes filled with tears letting go of Logan to reach for Evan and as soon as he was in his arms he walked to the keeping room and took a seat on the couch with both kids on his lap. He doesn't know how long they stayed there until Niall walked in with Chloe in his arms and Jeremy following him holding onto his shirt. Niall and Zayn busied themselves with making breakfast for everybody and once both Logan and Evan were calm Harry left them eating breakfast and headed to his bedroom to check on Louis.

He was still asleep curled up into a ball trembling as he whimpered and as soon as Harry got in the bed next to him on his left side he stopped. He rested his head on Harry's chest immediately relaxing as Harry watched his soft features and calm expression knowing it wasn't going to last. As soon as he opened his eyes the nightmares would begin and for now the only safe place Louis had was in his sleep. He closed his eyes wishing he could go to sleep and forget about everything but he had to be strong for Louis who needed him and be there for their two children knowing they needed him.

"Harry..?" Louis' raspy voice seemed to echo around their gray room as he slowly lifted his head up trying to open his swollen eyes.

"I'm right here love, go back to sleep." Harry softly murmured rubbing circles on his lower back.

"I can't..." His voice trembled before he started crying again slowly lifting his hand up then lowering it down until it was resting on his stomach where he would never get his baby bump.

Harry felt a lump in his throat almost physically chocking him when he placed his left shaking hand on top of Louis' intertwining their fingers together and those tattoos that held so much meaning to them were finally complete. He let him cry and cried along with him grieving for their baby that could never be yet was still holding onto life.

"Logan and Evan?" Louis asked after he had calmed down and was left staring up at the ceiling feeling numb.

"They're in the kitchen with Zayn, Niall and the twins...they're eating breakfast. Do you want to eat too? They made pancakes." Harry tried to sit up but stayed still when Louis' grip around him tightened.

"I'm not hungry." Louis responded.

"You need to eat, please." Harry begged.

"Why does it matter...it's gonna die anyway. Food won't save my baby." Louis said in a cold tone making Harry shiver.

"You still need to eat something, I'll go bring you the pancakes." Harry got up leaving an angry Louis on the bed.

"What part of I'm not hungry don't you understand! I don't want to eat!" Louis screamed throwing a pillow at him missing him a few inches.

"Louis..."

"Get out. Get out!" Louis sobbed throwing the covers over himself until he heard the door opening then closing again.

Louis had refused to see Logan and Evan and kiss them goodbye before leaving for school where Harry had already called explaining the situation. He was getting ready to drop them off until Niall took the keys from him offering him a tiny smile then left with both kids leaving his own behind with Zayn who had called in sick at the high school he worked at.

~*~

"I was thinking," Niall started looking at Zayn who nodded then at Harry after he had come back. "I think it's best if Logan and Evan stay at our house at least until Louis gets better. I don't want to make you feel worse but it's already affecting them, Evan stayed completely quiet the whole way there and Logan wouldn't stop asking questions."

"I really appreciate it but you have the twins to take care of and I- I don't want to take advantage, it's not fair for both of you or the twins." Harry said while the twins slept upstairs and he was in the kitchen with Zayn and Niall.

"You're not and we want to help you Harry, we'll take care of them while you take care of Louis. He needs all your attention at the moment, he needs you to be there for him." Zayn grabbed one of his hands feeling relieved when Harry nodded and thanked them.

By the time Niall had picked them up from school, Harry had already packed their small duffle bags with enough clothes for two weeks. Zayn had managed to convince Louis to eat at least a little bit which made Harry relax a bit even though the ache in his heart was still there and if he felt like that he could only imagine what Louis was going through at the moment.

"Why are we going to stay with uncle Niall and uncle Zayn?" Logan asked from where she was sitting on the couch with Evan on her lap and Harry sitting on the coffee table in front of them.

"You coming too, daddy? And daddy Lou?" Evan asked as he licked the lollipop Harry had given him.

"No buddy, we're staying here. Don't you want to spend time with Jeremy and Chloe?" Harry asked him sighing in relief when he happily nodded and just like that he got up and skipped towards the playroom where Zayn, Niall and the twins were waiting.

"Why do we have to go stay there? Is daddy okay?" Logan asked as her eyes filled with tears and all Harry could do was hug her.

"He'll be okay sweetheart, not soon enough but he'll be okay. He's just a little sick and needs time to get better." Harry rubbed her back then picker her up setting her down on his lap to hug her tight.

"Okay, I'll stay with them." Logan nodded.

"Thank you, it won't be for long." He assured her.

After dinner Harry made sure they were already showered then kissed them goodbye letting Niall and Zayn take them and he was left alone with Louis. He had eaten dinner in their bedroom and as soon as Harry had closed the door he made his way there entering the room as quietly as he could not wanting to wake him up. He picked up the dirty dishes and took them back to the kitchen rinsing them and putting them in the dishwasher before turning it on thankful that Zayn had helped him clean up the kitchen.

"Harry!" 

Harry jumped up startled then took off running towards their bedroom panicking when he didn't see him there or in the bathroom. Louis screamed again and Harry almost tripped trying to climb the stairs two at a time finding Louis in Evan's room..

"Where are they? What the hell did you do to my kids!?" Louis screamed at him, his red and swollen eyes as well as his lips making him look almost insane.

"They're staying with Zayn and Niall until..." Harry trailed off not wanting to repeat it.

"Why didn't you tell me? I- I thought something bad had happened to them, I- I can't lose them too." Louis wrapped his arms around himself looking as vulnerable as a small child as he slowly made his way out of the room completely ignoring Harry.

"I thought it was the best thing to do...I- I can go get them. Just tell me that you want them back and I'll go get them." Harry followed Louis watching how he got on the bed and under the covers as soon as they were back in their bedroom.

"Its fine...I don't want them to see me like this. We'll go get them once all of this is over." Louis closed his eyes not having the energy or the will to do anything else.

"Louis, I know this is not the time but we need to talk. We can't just bottle everything up." Harry knelt down next to the bed facing his husband.

"There's nothing to talk about Harry, nothing to say. If our baby doesn't die by next week on its own then I'll be forced to kill it, what else is there to talk about."

"Don't talk like that, just...don't talk like that." Harry begged as Louis' words were like daggers piercing his heart.

"I shouldn't have done what I did, I shouldn't have gotten pregnant...I wouldn't have to be hurting now." Louis said as tears rolled down his temple and Harry was quick to wipe them away.

"We- We can always try again. When you feel better we could try again." Harry leaned down to kiss his forehead worried that he had said the wrong thing at the wrong time when Louis said nothing.

"No..." Louis whispered.

"Lou-"

"I don't want anymore kids, you were right when you said we have enough with the ones we have. I don't want to go through this again and I don't want any babies in this house, I don't want to see them at all." Louis slowly scooted away from Harry then turned on his other side letting Harry know he was done talking.

The whole weekend was spent the same, Louis staying in bed only getting up to eat the meals Harry prepared for him or to go to the bathroom. He never bothered to say anything to Harry only talking to Logan and Evan on the phone and after that he would go back to bed and sleep all day ignoring the rest of the world. By Sunday night Harry had forced him to take a shower getting slapped when he tried to help him, and that night, Harry had taken his pillow and had ended up sleeping in one of the guest rooms not even bothering to say good night to Louis.

When Harry woke up that Monday morning he frowned when he felt a warm body pressed up next to his and when he opened his eyes he was surprised to see Louis sleeping next to him. He was slightly frowning and soon he started whimpering in his sleep putting a hand over his stomach. Harry wrapped an arm around him bringing him even closer to him kissing the tip of his nose then closed his eyes again only to open them again when Louis started groaning in pain.

"Lou? Angel what's wrong?" Harry tried to wake him up almost panicking when he saw the single tear rolling down his left cheek.

When Louis suddenly jerked up letting out an ear piercing scream was when Harry really started panicking as he tried to figure out what was wrong with him. He could only watch as Louis placed his hand over his stomach and started breathing in and out trying not to scream..

"I- It hurts...Harry it hurts." Louis said through his heavy breathing "Ahh! He- Help me."

"We're gonna go to the hospital. I'm- I'm gonna take you to the hospital, okay." Harry got up and gently picked him up holding in a sob when he noticed the white bed sheets stained with a few drops of blood.

He hid Louis' face against his chest to keep him from seeing them and as fast as he could made his way to their bedroom where he was quick to change them out of his gray sweatpants and boxers into black ones then bundled him up taking him to his car. The drive to the hospital was a painful one for Louis as well as to Harry but only emotionally wishing he could take away Louis' pain and go through it alone. He had sent a text to Zayn and Liam telling them what was going on before backing out of his driveway not even bothering to check if the garage door had closed all the way.

As soon as they got to the hospital Dr. Lane was quick to put Louis on a drip to keep him from dehydrating and in a private room after Harry had explained what was going on when Louis was out of earshot. He had changed into a hospital gown then Dr. Lane had given him something for the pain trying to relax him a little before giving him the painful news. Once he was relaxed she took a deep breath trying to find the right words to say knowing she was about to shatter his world, she had known him ever since he was an eighteen year old and had helped him bring his two children into the world.

"Hello Louis, how are you feeling?" She asked as soon as she stepped into the room seeing Harry sitting on a chair next to Louis holding his hand.

"Awful, dizzy and nauseous." Louis answered holding tightly onto Harry's hand already readying himself for the worst.

"Side effects of the pain medication I gave you." She informed him.

"Its happening isn't it?" Louis looked at her with sad and wet eyes.

"Love..." Harry started as he ran his fingers through Louis' hair.

"Please don't lie to me, please tell me the truth." Louis' voice cracked at the end letting Harry hug him tight at the same time Dr. Lane gently took his hand in hers.

"I'm really sorry." She said also taking Harry's hand with her other one. "It started this morning."

She rubbed the top of Louis' hand when he did nothing but hide his face on Harry's chest before letting out a painful sob. She left them alone knowing they wanted to be alone for the next few hours and as soon as she was gone Louis laid back down on the bed on his side facing Harry.

"I want to be alone." Louis mumbled a few minutes later breaking the silence that was slowly suffocating him.

"What?" Harry looked at him not quite understanding what Louis was trying to tell him.

"I don't want you to be here...I- I don't want you to see me like this." Louis let the tears fall not even daring to look at Harry.

"Please Louis, please don't ask me to do that." Harry begged getting desperate the longer Louis avoided looking at him.

"Please..." Louis finally looked at him and all Harry could do was nod and leave the room.

Once he was outside he sat down on the floor next to the door unable to do anything else but blame himself for everything. He had his eyes closed then opened them again when he felt a presence standing next to him seeing it was Dr. Lane who sat down next to him.

"Why did this had to happen? I don't- I don't understand." Harry looked at her then down at his shaky hands.

"We don't exactly know why or how it happens but don't blame yourself, it wasn't your fault and neither was Louis'. I know things will be rough from now on but there's always hope and if you both want to try again in, in three to six months he'll be better and you could try again." She said.

Harry nodded and after she left him alone he stayed there until he heard Louis calling for him and as fast as he could he ran inside seeing Louis a crying mess. He rushed over to him and hugged him unable to stop crying knowing what was going on and all he could do was hold him close. He hummed a lullaby feeling completely numb until Louis' sobs reduced to sniffles grabbing fistfuls of Harry's shirt.

"Harry..." Louis whimpered.

"Ssh, you'll be okay love...we'll be okay." Harry murmured holding him close and never letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	6. Built with a heart, broken from the start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post early. Hope you like it. :)

Harry patiently waited outside Louis' room while Dr. Lane did a check up to make sure he was doing okay and when he was finally allowed back in Louis had his eyes closed yet Harry knew he was awake. He took a seat on the chair by his bed letting Louis take his time to acknowledge him and when he did his eyes were red and swollen from all the crying.

"Could you help me shower?" Louis timidly asked trying to sit up when Harry nodded.

He carried him to the bathroom setting him down on top of the toilet lid to turn the water on and once he was satisfied with the temperature he turned around expecting Louis to be ready to get in. Instead he found him in the same position with a blank look until Harry gently grabbed his hand startling him a bit.

"Its ready." Harry said seeing him nodding.

He helped him untie the gown then helped him in since he was still feeling a little pain on his right side. He ended up doing everything when all Louis did was stand under the water spray looking down at his feet only closing his eyes whenever Harry would tell him to. Once he was clean and into the clean clothes Liam had brought before going to work Louis lay down on the bed after making Harry lay down next to him.

"Can we go pick the kids up from school?" Louis mumbled snuggling closer to Harry.

"Yeah, we can go after they let you go." Harry kissed the top of his head smelling the faint scent of apples from the shampoo provided by the hospital.

"Are you smelling my hair?" Louis asked.

"Yeah, it smells great." Harry once again kissed his head hearing him sighing when he started running his fingers through his still damp hair.

Louis was about to say something when a knock at the door interrupted them and seconds later after Harry had told them to come in, Dr. Lane walked in holding a stack of papers and what looked like a box of pills in her other hand.

"Hello boys." She smiled a little stopping at the foot of the bed. "I signed your release form and there are also a few things I need to go over with both of you."

"What you went though today was a very traumatic experience not only emotionally and mentally but also physically and we have to let your body heal. These are birth control pills I want you to take for at least two months to prevent pregnancy if you both decide to become sexually active again but I do suggest you wait at least three weeks, you might need to use another form of contraceptive to prevent pregnancy since they aren't as effective on males as they are to females."

"Fortunately there was no damage to any of the Fallopian tubes but I do recommend wait at least two to three months before trying to conceive again. I know you're both worried about this happening again so that's why its important that you wait at least two months from today." She explained noticing the way Louis' jaw clenched at the mention of trying for another baby.

After explaining a few more things and giving them information about support groups Louis was finally released from the hospital driving straight to the school to pick their kids up. Louis stayed behind lost in his thoughts after Harry had parked the car to go get them coming back a few minutes later with both of them.

"Daddy, I missed you lots!" Evan exclaimed as soon as he had seen Louis while Harry buckled him up in his car seat.

"I missed you too, sweety." Louis smiled a little then looked at Logan who was already on her spot. "Hi love, I missed you."

"I missed you too daddy...are you okay?" Logan hesitated not wanting to upset him for whatever reason.

"I am, I just missed you." Louis forced a smile trying to push the burning feeling out of his chest.

She smiled back as she nodded and as soon as Harry was in the car he drove them home stopping at Taco Bell to get food. Evan spent the whole ride talking about his day and how he had found a new friend and his name was Ryan.

"He's from 'merica daddies." Evan said stopping to eat one of his nachos while the rest listened.

"Its America, not 'merica." Logan corrected him.

" 'merica." Evan said as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"America." Logan said emphasizing the A.

"No, its 'merica." Evan insisted.

"Curly please tell him its America." Logan gave Harry an annoyed look.

"He can't say it yet love, give him some time." Louis said before Harry could open his mouth.

When they got home Harry had already called their friends to let them know how Louis was doing then sat down to eat smiling when he saw Louis paying more attention to both of their children. They spent the rest of the afternoon in their bedroom piled up in the bed watching cartoons and Harry was relieved that Louis was at least smiling a little until a commercial about baby diapers completely wiped it off. He was quick to change the channel then offer to play a movie seeing the way Louis' eyes shined holding onto Evan and Logan with all his might.

"Daddy," Logan said trying to get Harry's attention. "Daddy Lou can pick the movie. Right Bub, we're gonna let daddy Lou pick the movie." Logan looked at Evan who furiously nodded from where he was pressed up next to a sad looking Louis.

"What do you want to watch, love?" Harry asked.

"Can we watch Grease? Its been years since I last watched it." Louis timidly said going back to hug both of his kids feeling blessed to have them.

"Of course we can! Let me go find it." Harry brightened up kissing his lips then the kids foreheads before getting up to go downstairs to the playroom to find it among the millions of movies they had.

When he got back he furrowed his brow in confusion when he saw both kids alone and Louis nowhere to be seen. Logan gestured to the closed bathroom door and Harry nodded letting Louis be alone for a little bit while he played the movie then got on the bed with the remote in hand to wait for him. He started getting worried when almost twenty minutes later Louis was still in the bathroom and that's when he decided to see if he was okay.

Harry gently knocked on the door calling for him and when he didn't answered he turn the knob finding it unlocked then walked in closing the door after himself but not before giving Logan and Evan a smile. He couldn't see him anywhere until he heard his quiet sniffles coming from the closet rushing over there where he felt the familiar ache on his chest at the sight in front of him.

Louis was sitting in the middle of the closet with a box next to him and in his arms the baby clothes he had saved of Logan and Evan's to keep forever as keepsakes. They were the clothes Louis had brought them home with from the hospital and all Harry could do was kneel in front of him as he clutched the baby clothes close to his chest crying his eyes out. He let him crawl on his lap and hugged him letting him nuzzle his face on the crook of his neck rubbing his back just letting him cry, soon he started feeling his eyes stinging with tears that soon rolled down his cheeks.

"It hu- urts." Louis sobbed then started gasping for air feeling his lungs burning.

"Hey hey, breathe! In and out, do it with me. C'mon Lou, breathe." Harry started to full on cry seeing how red Louis' face was turning then his lips turned a faint blue color.

He grabbed the sides of Louis' head with his hands making him watch him as he breathed in and out making sure they were deep. He was about to get his phone and call an ambulance when his breathing and heartbeats started regulating and his lips slowly turned back to a pink almost red color. They stayed there for a few more minutes while Harry waited for Louis to calm down a little.

"I- I don't want t- to feel a- anymore." Louis sobbed hiding his face on Harry's chest just wanting him to hold him.

"Just let it out, let it all out." Harry hugged him tight rocking him back and forth wiping his tears away.

He doesn't know how long they stayed there until Louis' sniffles turned to even breaths and just like that he had fallen asleep in Harry's arms still holding onto the baby clothes. He slowly took them putting them back in the box then carefully got up not wanting to disturb him and walked back to their bedroom where he found Logan and Evan already asleep under the covers on the other side of the bed. Looking at the clock he found out it was already nine deciding to just go to bed.

That Tuesday morning he woke up feeling exhausted just wanting to go back to bed but couldn't when it was already six thirty and he had to get the kids ready to get them to school by eight thirty. He got up and made his way to the bathroom to take a quick shower and when he was done he walked out to of there heading to wake them up but Louis was already there.

"Babe, what are you doing up?" Harry asked as he towel dried his hair only wearing a pair of black skinny jeans.

"I'm going back to work and I need to get Logan to take a shower and give Evan a bath." Louis simply said as he tried to wake them up.

"I thought you would want to stay home for today, the school was okay with giving you the whole week off." Harry said.

"I don't need their pity Harry, I'm going back to work and that's that." Louis snapped giving up on trying to get Evan to wake up and just picked him up walking out of the room just as Logan opened her eyes.

"Daddy?" Logan groggily asked slowly sitting up and looking around with a confused expression.

"Morning bug, daddy wants you to take a shower and get ready for school." Harry smiled going back to the closet to find a shirt to wear.

"Daddy." Logan startled Harry as she looked at the box that was still on the floor then at Harry.

"Yeah bug?"

"Why was daddy crying last night? Why is he sad?" Logan started tearing up quickly running to him when he opened his arms.

He picked her up hugging her close to him wondering if telling her the truth was the best thing to do but said nothing not really sure if Louis wanted her to know.

"Daddy is just going through a hard time right now but he'll be fine." Harry said.

"But why is he sad?" She insisted trying to nuzzle her face on his neck.

"When daddy gets here and if he wants to tell you, bug. Just know that he'll be okay. Okay?" He explained sighing in relief when she nodded her then set her back down on her feet. "Please go take a shower and get ready while I make breakfast."

As soon as she was out of the bedroom Harry made his way to the kitchen to make pancakes hearing his son crying and trying not to go and see what was going on. When he was almost done Logan walked in dumping her bag by the door walking straight to Harry to see if he was finished.

"Daddy, could you please braid my hair when you're done?" She asked.

"Sure! What kind of braid?" Harry smiled pouring more batter onto the griddle.

"A french braid, a single one daddy." She said nodding when Harry told her he would do it after finishing making the pancakes.

"Why was your brother crying?" Harry asked her hoping she would tell him.

"He didn't want to take a bath 'cause he was cold but daddy made him, he's happy now." She answered.

A few seconds later a happy Evan ran into the kitchen now fully awake hugging Harry around the legs and while they waited for Louis Harry busied himself with doing Logan's braid. When Louis finally showed up he was already dressed in his work clothes wearing khaki pants, a light blue dress shirt with a tie underneath a navy pullover.

He walked straight to a cabinet getting two glass cups and two plastic ones then walked to the fridge getting out the orange juice for Harry and himself and the milk also reaching for the cocoa powder to make Evan and Logan their chocolate milk.

"How are you feeling?" Harry whispered as soon as he was standing right next to him.

"Good...better than last night. Sorry about that, won't happen again." Louis said and as soon as he was done he grabbed the two plastic cups walking past Harry to set the table.

When they finally sat down to eat it was in complete silence while Harry cut Evan's pancakes and Louis poured syrup in a dipping bowl careful not to give him too much. When he was done he set it on his plate next to the cut up pancakes then started eating his own trying to swallow them.

"Are you working late today?" Louis finally broke the silence just trying to go back to how things used to be before it all happened.

"I get out at three and I'm gonna pick Evan up today to take him to his football practice, he gets out at three thirty today because they're gonna have a small party." Harry informed him seeing Louis' confused face.

"I thought he had football practice on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays." Louis stopped eating waiting for Harry to explain what was going on.

"I got an email last Friday letting me know they changed them to Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays." Harry explained.

"Okay...are you picking him up or do you want me to?" Louis asked looking down at his lap in shame for not even knowing what was going on with his own kids.

"I'll pick him up." Harry smiled at Evan who let out a giggle then looked at a quiet Logan. "Have you thought about which summer camp you want to go? May is less than a month away and we need to fill out those forms."

"I'm going to the art one and Lux told me she's going too so I'm not gonna be alone." She said suddenly smiling from ear to ear making Louis smile a little just by seeing how excited she was.

"I'll print out the forms so daddy and I can fill them up." Louis said.

"Daddies I'm done." Evan pushed his plate away then proceeded to rub his tummy to emphasize how full he was.

"Wait for us to be finished then we can go." Louis reached to wipe off a bit of syrup he had in the left corner of his mouth.

********

"I'll see you later today, I love you." Harry stood by the door watching Louis buckling Evan up in his car seat while Logan waited next to him.

"Yeah, love you too." Louis said as soon as he turned around then shyly walked up to him giving him a small kiss.

He tried to ignore Harry watching him when he grabbed the box of birth control pills taking one and after he was done he put the box back in one of the kitchen drawers waving at Harry before getting in the car.

He backed out of the garage then the driveway driving to school and as soon as he was there he parked on his spot then made sure to drop them off before heading to the office. He thought he would be able to handle everything but everything went out the window as soon as he saw an eight month pregnant David with Brian standing by his side rubbing and kissing his bloated belly. He felt tears stinging his eyes and was quick to blink them away as soon as David spotted him.

"Louis, how are you?" Brian spoke as he and David headed his way.

"Good...I- I'm doing good. How are you? How's the ba- the baby?" Louis felt a lump in his throat trying to keep it together not wanting to have an emotional breakdown like the one from the night before and even more when Harry wasn't around.

"Melissa's doing great, I'm probably gonna have to be induced since she's getting a bit big and its crowded in there." David beamed with happiness and Louis just wanted to tell him to shut up but they had no idea and who was he to ruin their happiness.

"I hope everything goes great and it was nice to see you again Brian, I gotta go...I need to set up for my class." Louis smiled then hurried out of there and straight to the teacher's bathroom where he took his phone out dialing the only person who could calm him down.

_"Hello?"_

_"Harry...Harry."_ Louis started crying as soon as he heard his voice.

 _"Love? Love what's wrong?"_ Harry's worried voice could be heard through the speaker and Louis just wanted him to hold him.

 _"Can you- just talk to me please. Talk to me. I- I don't want to think about it."_ Louis sniffled trying to take deep breaths.

 _"We could go to the beach, whe- when summer break starts we could take the kids to the beach and stay there as long as you want, just the four of us."_ Harry said as he motioned for Grace to entertain the models while he moved to a corner far away from there trying to decide whether to just drop everything and go to him.

 _"Can you take me to Nassau? We were so ha- happy there."_ Louis let out a choked sob leaning against the farthest wall away from the door.

 _"We can go wherever you want to, sweetheart. I'll go anywhere you want me to."_ Harry said in a soothing tone hearing Louis' breaths through the phone evening out.

 _"We have to take Logan and Evan to swim with the dolphins. Lo- Logan would love it and we could convince Evan that they're nice."_ Louis wiped away the tears with his sleeves feeling himself calming down a little.

 _"Yeah, maybe he'll finally learn to tell the difference between a shark and a dolphin. Dolphins are friends not 'evil fish'."_ Harry chuckled repeating what Evan had called them making Louis smile a little.

 _"Thank you...I'll- I-ll see you later okay? I love you."_ Louis wiped his face with his sleeves.

 _"I love you too, so much Lou. I'll see you later. Call me if you need me no matter what time it is, I'm always here for you."_ Harry spoke then hung up after Louis did.

Louis stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes trying to make himself look presentable and after washing his face he walked back to his classroom unlocking the door and cheerfully greeting his students that were waiting for him.

By the time it was time for Harry to pick their son up he had Evan in his classroom eating their lunch together and as soon as Louis saw him he tried to get up and go to him but Harry was quicker. They stayed in each others arms only letting go so Louis could sit on Harry's lap and eat his lunch and after Evan was done Harry waited for Louis to finish his.

"Daddy, I love you daddy." Evan hugged Louis around the neck kissing his cheeks multiple times making Louis giggle for the first time ever in a while.

"I love you too sweetheart, I'll see you later okay. Be a good boy." Louis kissed his cheeks too before letting him go handing his backpack over to Harry.

"I'll see you later love. Love you." Harry kissed Louis' temple then his lips as he wrapped an arm around his waist somehow sensing his husband wasn't okay at all.

"Love you too." Louis forced a smile keeping it until Harry left taking their son who waved at him until they disappeared out of sight and that's when he sat down at his desk letting out a heavy sigh as he rubbed his face with his hands.

For the rest of the day he tried not to think about the child he could never have, the child he never got to feel move and kick inside of him wondering if it was going to be a girl or a boy. Thankfully his students kept him well entertained and sometimes found himself genuinely smiling whenever he would see how passionate they were when it came to painting the newest assignment he had assigned the last day he had been there.

That night he helped Harry make dinner after playfully arguing over what to make and at the end had decided to make Mexican chicken casserole which had been Louis' choice. Harry carefully observed Louis as they ate watching him smiling and interacting with their children wanting to believe he was starting to get better but he knew better. When they tucked them in kissing them goodnight it wasn't long after they had gone to bed when Louis started crying holding onto Harry begging him to hug him tight and never go away just like their baby had done.

~*~

He continued like that until April turned into May and school was over for the summer. Louis would stay home while Harry worked, Logan had gone to a two week camp for the summer and Evan stayed under Louis' care but with nothing to keep himself busy he slowly lost the will to even get up in the morning.

The Monday after the Sunday they had dropped Logan off Harry had to go to work leaving Louis and Evan alone finding Gemma and Anne there when he got back later that afternoon. His eyes immediately wandered down to his sister's baby bump already at five months then back at Louis who no matter what he did he just couldn't take his eyes off of it.

"Knucklehead! Say hello to your niece." Gemma beamed walking over to him showing him ultrasound pictures.

"That's...congratulations." Harry genuinely smiled hugging her then crouched down to be at eye lever with her bloated tummy pressing both his hands around it.

He felt a sudden kick on his left hand ignoring Gemma when she exclaimed that her baby girl was kicking and instead focused on rubbing small circles on that same spot feeling his eyes stinging with tears. Tears of happiness for his sister and her daughter, tears of pain for having lost his and Louis' baby and never having gotten the chance to feel it kick. He never got to feel his daughter kick and now he never got to feel their third child either.

"Congratulations Gemma." Louis' shaky voice was heard throughout the room and when Harry looked at him he saw him smiling, he was starting to get good at hiding his emotions.

"Thank you! Lou, Jay couldn't make it but she's hoping to have you visit one of these days." Gemma said walking over to the couch in the keeping room getting followed by Evan who was fascinated with her baby bump and the kicking and wiggly baby inside of it.

"We'll probably visit once Logan gets back from camp." Louis said as they all followed her..

"I was hoping to see my princess, guess I'll just have to wait." Gemma pouted smiling at Evan when he kept poking her belly to make the baby kick.

"Is it like a big present, auntie Gem? Like this big?" Evan opened his arms as far as they would go.

"Yeah, and in four more months its gonna come out." Gemma kissed his cheek.

"Was I a big present too, daddy Lou?" Evan asked turning to Louis.

"Yeah, you were a big present too." Louis answered without any enthusiasm whatsoever making Anne furrow her brow in confusion and get worried that something could be wrong.

"Louis, sweetheart." Anne wrapped her arm around Louis' waist. "Could we talk? We have a lot to catch up on."

"Yeah." Louis sighed forcing a smile then followed her to his bedroom wondering why she was taking him there instead of the kitchen or the keeping room like usual.

As soon as Louis had stepped into his room Anne followed him closing the door after him then grabbed his bed making him sit on the bed with her next to him. He fiddled with his shaky fingers until he looked up at her and that's when his bottom lip trembled, his eyes filled with tears and he broke down crying seeking comfort in her warm hold.

"What's going on love? You know you can tell me anything, you're one of my own." Anne rubbed his back tearing up when he continued crying.

She doesn't know how long they stayed there but when Louis finally calmed down he looked at her then back down to his lap as she patiently waited for him to be ready to talk.

"I- I got pregnant." Louis confessed seeing the way her eyes widened then flickered down to his belly.

"He didn't take the news well? How far along are you?" She asked as a tiny smile made her way in getting excited at the idea of two new babies in the family but dissapeared when Louis started crying again.

"Mum...there's no- I...I lost my baby." Louis looked down letting her wrap her in a comforting hug that he didn't know he needed until now, he wanted his mum too but sadly she wasn't around.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I- I can only imagine what you must be going through."

"I only wanted a baby." Louis murmured feeling exhausted.

"I know sweetheart, I know." Anne rubbed her back. "I'm sorry we didn't call to let you know we were coming and Gemma...I'm sorry."

"Its not her fault, she's happy with her baby girl and I'm happy she's getting her baby. Maybe I'm just not meant to have any more kids." Louis sighed finally pulling away from her forcing a tiny smile.

"You could always try again." Anne suggested.

"No. It- it was an ectopic pregnancy and I don't want it to happen again. I don't want to lose another baby and go through what I went through again." Louis quietly told her thankful when she nodded letting him know she had understood.

They talked for a few more minutes and when they went back to the kitchen a teary eyed Gemma ran to Louis hugging him and whispering I'm sorry's while Louis stared at Harry noticing how red his nose was and his eyes were swollen.

"Have you thought of any names?" Louis finally asked her trying to look more interested when all he wanted was to sleep.

"Ashton and I thought of one." Gemma said. "We want to name her Hannah Louise. I want to name my first baby after you."

"You're gonna make me cry again." Louis gave her a watery smile feeling touched that she had named her daughter after him.

"I'm gonna name my next daughter Harriett." Gemma beamed turning her head to the side to look at Harry who was on the floor petting Buttercup along with his son.

"Oh god, please don't." Harry groaned shaking his head.

"Why not you knucklehead? I want my kid to have your name." Gemma pouted.

"Harriet is awful, Gems. I don't want people making fun of her." Harry gave her a bewildered look.

"Daddy you a knucklehead." Evan giggled looking straight at Harry trying to climb on top of Buttercup.

"Landon!" Louis crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow looking down at the still giggling boy who was finally straddling the dog with Harry's help.

"And you're a chubby bunny." Harry picked him up then set him down on the carpet to tickle him earning hysterical laughs..

He continued tickling him sometimes blowing raspberries on his tummy while Buttercup walked up to Louis laying down by his feet as Louis watched his husband and their son laughing.

"Who's the Bubbie, huh? Are you Bubbie?" Harry finally stopped tickling him then picked him up again.

"I'm your baby." Evan giggled pushing Harry backwards letting out a happy scream when he went down with him landing on top of him.

"Harry, be careful!" Anne reprimanded him when Harry almost hit the back of his head on the coffee table only missing by a few inches yet was still smiling as soon as she heard their laughter followed by Louis' and Gemma's.

"I'm okay." Harry finally sat up letting Evan go to Louis after kissing his cheeks.

Louis was quick to pick him up letting him wrap his tiny arms around his neck then just like Logan used to do, Evan placed his hand on his cheek to bring his head closer to his.

~*~

"Is Evan sleeping with my mum?" Harry suddenly asked breaking the silence in the dark bedroom.

"Yeah, has been clinging to her all day so I figured he was going to sleep with her." Louis yawned turning to his side to face Harry who was fully awake.

"Are you okay?" Harry once again asked after a pause.

"I am, I just need time." Louis sighed, but after a month he still felt the same.

"We could go to one of the support groups Dr. Lane told us about." Harry suggested.

"I don't want to go, I don't want to talk about how one day everything will get better." Louis sat up moving to face Harry.

"Just think about it Lou, it could help you...it could help us." Harry rubbed his hands on his face.

"If you want to go then go but you can't make me. Why can't you just respect my decision."

"I'm just trying to do what's best for all of us-"

"Which is respecting my decision and leaving me alone, I just want us to go on as if nothing happened." Louis lay down again scooting closer to Harry enough to feel how warm he was.

There was a pause where none of them said anything only listening to the occasional sound of a car driving by or the rustling of the sheets when Louis suddenly straddled Harry laying down on top of him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis and kissed the top of his head where it was laying on his warm naked chest then started rubbing his back feeling his skin getting wet.

"Do you think one day it will start to feel easy again?" Louis asked closing his eyes focusing on Harry's heartbeats.

"Yeah, I believe it will. It might take a while but we'll be okay and maybe...maybe we could try again one day." Harry slowly said closing his eyes waiting for Louis to say something.

He waited and waited but when Louis said nothing and felt the small puffs of air on his chest he only reached for the covers and brought them over themselves making sure Louis was comfortable before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

That night Harry dreamed of two pairs of grey eyes and the cutest button noses he had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	7. Make me feel alive and shatter me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post a day earlier 'cause I just can't wait! Please don't forget to comment, I love reading your comments. Enjoy! :)

When Logan got back from camp a Sunday two weeks later almost at the end of the month Louis brightened up a little just by seeing her then had spent the rest of the day with her admiring all the paintings she had painted and the drawings she had done.

"And this is you and Bubbie when he was a baby, I did it using a picture I found in one of daddy's memory cards. He has lots of them and I asked him if I could look for a picture." Logan proudly pointed to the carefully drawn sketch and even though it wasn't finished it was still beautiful.

It was from a picture Harry had taken when Louis had just given birth to Evan and was holding him close to his face as he smiled at the camera and the tiny sleepy baby had his eyes closed. Louis carefully observed it then looked at her seeing her busy going through more of her drawings wondering what his life would be like without her then closed his eyes not wanting to think about it.

"Its beautiful." Louis said reaching to take another one of he and Harry that had just been taken five months earlier.

Harry had his arms wrapped around him and they were both looking at each other with big smiles on their faces and eyes full of love.

For the past two weeks Louis had slowly built a wall so high completely disconnecting himself from the outside world only paying attention to Evan long enough so his son was happy unable to tell how things were different. He looked up from where he was sitting on his bed next to Logan when Harry walked in holding a basket full of his and Louis' already folded clothes with Evan trailing behind him with two folded towels in his arms.

"Are you tired daddy?" Logan asked noticing the bags and dark circles under Harry's eyes.

Louis looked down in shame when Harry looked at him then smiled at Logan telling her he was fine before walking into the bathroom making his way to the closet to put the clothes away. When he walked back out he picked up the dirty clothes Louis had left by his side of the bed putting them in the basket before walking out of the room leaving Louis and Logan alone once again.

"We should frame this one." Louis continued as if nothing had happened showing her the drawing of him and Harry.

"Okay." Logan nodded putting the others away.

With a kiss to the cheek Logan left Louis alone who went back to bed as soon as she was gone then rubbed his hands on his face taking a deep breath when he heard something breaking in the kitchen then Evan's cries telling Harry he was sorry. He figured out he must've broken something since he had insisted on helping Harry clean the house earlier that day. He got up and headed to the bathroom to take a shower after two days of not taking one feeling completely disgusted of himself for letting his own emotions win and control him.

He washed his hair three times and scrubbed his body clean two times with enough soap and when he was finished he felt slightly better as he dried himself off and changed into a pair of Harry's basketball shorts and a simple white t-shirt.

He felt the exhaustion already getting to him wanting to just go back to bed and sleep all day, wanting to close his eyes and not feel a thing and sleep was the only place where he couldn't feel at all. He fought that urge again and instead walked back to his bedroom with clean bed sheets in his arms seeing Harry already removing the dirty ones.

"Just let me change them real fast then you can go back to bed." Harry said void of any emotion making Louis slightly flinch looking at the clock seeing it was already two in the afternoon.

"I was going to change them." Louis mumbled putting the bed sheets on the bare mattress then walked up to Harry stopping right in front of him.

"You were?" Harry asked in surprise.

His cloudy green eyes were wide open and tired as he looked at Louis almost as if he was waiting for him to drop everything and go back to bed like he had done many times before and that hurt Louis. All Louis could do was nod grabbing the bottom sheet feeling a pang in his chest when Harry smiled a little going back to what he had been doing before in the kitchen without so much of a kiss or at least a hug.

When Louis was done doing the bed he sighed as he looked around then decided to just go ahead and clean the bathroom and when he was done and the bathroom was clean he didn't feel so useless and like a burden anymore. He continued cleaning his bedroom shaking his head when he saw the amount of dust on the furniture and when he was done he walked out of there looking for Harry.

"Have you cleaned upstairs?" Louis asked as soon as he had walked into the kitchen getting greeted by the sight of Harry putting the dishes away and Evan wiping a base cabinet door over and over again with a wet rag.

"Yeah, all I have left to clean is the playroom." Harry nodded putting the last glass cup away.

"I helped daddy." Evan proudly announced moving on to wipe the next cabinet door.

"You did, such a good boy!" Louis picked him up setting him on his left hip kissing his cheek then brushed his hair out of his forehead making a mental note to take him and Logan to get a hair cut.

"I'll go clean it up...you already did everything else and its only fair." Louis looked at Harry getting a nod and a smile in return.

He set Evan down who was back to wiping the same cabinet then made his way downstairs hearing Harry telling their son the cabinet was already sparkly clean.

When he set foot in the playroom his eyes widened seeing the mess everywhere. Blankets on the couches and toys strewn everywhere in the room and with a heavy sigh he got to work wanting to finish. When he was finishing vacuuming he checked his phone seeing the missing call from his mum probably checking on him after their long talk on the phone the week before when he had told her what had happened.

"Louis, sweetheart how are you?" Jay said as soon as she answered the phone.

"I'm doing okay, I just finished doing something productive so I don't feel as useless as I've been for the past two weeks." Louis sighed as he looked around spotting Evan's teddy bear he had been looking for earlier in one of the toy boxes.

"Honey..." Jay said in a disapproving tone.

"What? Its the truth mum, you should see how tired Harry looks." Louis held the teddy bear in his hand taking it back upstairs with him.

"Why don't you all visit? We would love to have you all here, Harry could take a few days off. Or go somewhere just the two of you, like the beach and we could watch the kids." Jay suggested just trying to help them.

"I don't think...I don't want them away from me at the moment. I need to have them here with me where I can see them and make sure they are okay. I will never forgive myself if I leave them behind and something bad happens to them while I'm not there." Louis' voice trembled leaving the teddy bear on the couch in the keeping room where he knew Evan would find it.

"I understand, love. How have you been feeling?" Jay asked knowing Louis knew what she meant.

"I'm getting better." Louis lied deciding to go to the backyard where he took a seat on one of the chairs out in the deck.

"Louis William I know you." Jay scolded him then her voice softened. "You know you can tell me anything sweetheart, I'm your mum and I'll always be here whenever you need me, whenever you need to talk."

Louis' words seemed to get stuck in his throat then took a deep shaky breath trying to find the right thing to say. Trying to figure out what to say when there was so much he wanted to say, he wanted to tell her how he felt, what he was feeling at the moment but he just couldn't seem to find the right words to describe it feeling his eyes stinging with tears.

"I don't even know mum, sometimes I feel okay and like things will get better and other times...other times I feel like I don't want to live anymore and all I can feel is this burning sensation in my chest. Sometimes I just want to drop everything and sleep, never wake up again." Louis confessed feeling awful for even thinking like that.

"Sweetheart-"

"And then I feel awful because I can't, I shouldn't be thinking like that mum. I have two kids and Harry who need me and all I've been doing these past two weeks is push him away and leave him doing everything on his own and its not fair to him but I can't help it. I just wish I could forget everything but I can't, I can't and won't ever forget my baby. It was my baby, mum." Louis interrupted her letting it all out when it finally felt somehow easier to talk about it.

"At the moment it might not look like it ever will, but things will start to feel easy. That baby, that little angel will always have a special place in our hearts. Especially in yours sweetheart. I can't imagine what you must be going through but I'm sure we'll get through it together and life has better things planned for you." Jay blinked the tears away glad that Louis couldn't see how she was crying for not being able to say more, for not being able to be there for him.

"Who knows. I- I don't know."

Louis looked up at the blue sky willing that burning feeling away and instead changed the subject asking her about his father and his sisters and when he was done talking to her he felt a bit better. When he walked back inside he smiled a little seeing the teddy bear was gone then made his way upstairs seeing Evan asleep in his bed and Logan sitting on her desk with her drawing board busy drawing at full speed without a care in the world with her back to the open door.

A small smile began to make an appearance until he saw the drawing feeling a chill running down his spine. He slowly made his way inside her room seeing her using charcoal to create the darkest of shades drawing what seemed to be a long hallway and in the middle what looked like a child with its knees against its chest hiding its face. Floating around it were the darkest sinister looking shapes, she kept drawing over them until she deemed them dark enough then moved to shade the end of the hallway.

"What are you doing?" Louis asked wrapping his arms around himself startling her.

"Drawing." Logan shrugged not even bothering to look at him.

"What are you drawing?" Louis continued asking but instead of answering she only continued drawing until she was done.

"He doesn't want to live anymore...and he's scared." Logan answered looking at the drawing.

"Sweetheart, what are you talking about? You're scaring me. Is there something wrong?" Louis took a step forward kneeling down next to her brushing the hair out of her face tucking a strand behind her ear.

"You were talking about never forgetting a baby." Logan looked away just as Louis closed his eyes and the room started spinning around him.

He knew she was upset the moment he had seen the drawing since she had a tendency of expressing her feelings through them when she couldn't find a way to tell them how she felt or when she just simply didn't want to talk.

"What baby?" She asked looking and sounding older making Louis feel like she was judging him.

"Logan..."

"Is that why you were sad, why you're sad all the time?" She kept asking then gave him the most heartbreaking look he had ever seen on her face. "Is that why you don't draw and paint anymore? We don't do it together anymore like we used to."

Louis felt a pang on his chest wondering when had she grown old enough to understand what was going on around her, old enough to figure things out on her own so he did the only thing he could. He got up and hugged her then picked her up and walked towards her bed where he took a seat with her in his lap ignoring the way her hands were stained black.

He stayed there with her not knowing how to start until he heard Harry's footsteps getting closer and closer then saw him walking by freshly showered.

"What's going on?" Harry stopped right by the door just when Louis was about to open his mouth to call for him.

"We need to talk." Louis said and by the look on his face Harry understood what they needed to talk about.

Louis waited for Harry to take a seat next to them feeling him wrapping an arm around him and one around Logan whose eyes were shining and held worry in them.

"Remember when I had your brother but first he had to grow inside my tummy?" Louis asked not really knowing how to explain it then took a deep breath when she nodded.

"You had to keep him in your tummy like uncle Niall did with the twins and auntie El kept baby Eric, how now auntie Gemma and Mr. David have babies in theirs until they're ready to be born, they have to grow and be strong first." Logan nodded.

"Sometimes when the baby is still too small like the size of a seed something goes wrong and they never get to grow and be born. Its called a miscarriage and...and it happens when the baby is sick, when they're not healthy enough to live outside the daddy's or the mum's tummy." Louis explained feeling a lump in his throat looking at Harry for help who grabbed her hands ignoring the charcoal stains..

"Daddy Lou and I were going to have another baby but it was sick and now...the baby is now in heaven where Nan is going take care of it for us." Harry explained referring to his grandma who had died two years ago.

"We're sad that we didn't get to have it but we're gonna be fine, we're upset but its okay to be upset and one day we'll feel better." Louis hugged her closer hiding her face on his chest as soon as her eyes filled with tears and a few seconds later she started crying.

They let her cry and mourn her sibling murmuring sweet nothings on her ear while both of them held her telling her everything was going to be okay and when she blamed herself both Louis and Harry were quick to tell her it was nobody's fault and that sometimes things happened for unknown reasons.

"If- If you make another baby...is it going t- to die too?" Logan asked completely terrified of the answer.

"No, they're uncommon sweetheart. If we ever try for another baby it might not happen again." Harry wrapped his arms around her kissing the side of her head.

She said nothing and instead wrapped her arms around their necks bringing them closer to her where she stayed for a while until she calmed down and Evan walked in rubbing his sleepy eyes. Louis picked him up and set him down on his lap next to Logan until Harry decided to take them to planet Hollywood to try and cheer them up a little.

Logan was still a bit upset by the time they got back going straight for a shower then to bed gladly letting her little brother sleep with her. Evan had woken up in the middle of the night and gone to sleep with them still half asleep when Harry picked him up and placed him in between Louis and himself, who was curled up in his own warm space with their backs to them. By the next morning Evan was asleep and content in Louis' warm hold and for once Louis didn't have any nightmares during the night.

~*~

May turned into June and two months after losing his baby Louis thought he would be better but every time he felt himself feeling slightly better seeing someone pregnant or with their babies would send him back to square one. It had taken him a week after the birth of Brian and David's baby for him to go see them and when he did he stayed in the car while the rest of his family patiently waited until he was ready.

"Lets go." Louis finally said taking a deep breath before opening the door and stepping outside.

He unbuckled Evan out of his car seat placing him on his left hip then wrapped his free arm around Logan's shoulders who was holding gifts for both David and Melissa. He let Harry wrap an arm around his waist and guide them towards their front door where Logan rung the doorbell since the habit had never died down. Their house was only half an hour away from theirs where they had just move into as soon as David had found out he was pregnant again since they needed more space and only a two bedroom apartment wasn't enough.

As soon as Brian opened the door Louis stiffened a little when he heard the baby crying but relaxed when Evan wrapped his small arms around his neck nuzzling his face on his neck. When they walked into their living room Louis couldn't help but smile a little seeing David sitting on the sofa with a bundle of pink blankets cradled against his chest and Alex with his pinkie finger trapped in his sister's tiny fist.

"Hi, how are you feeling? How's she doing?" Louis asked in a low tone trying not to disturb the whimpering baby taking a seat next to him when David gestured for him to do so.

"We're doing great, thanks for coming." David smiled then slowly offered him the small bundle. "Do you want to hold her?"

It took him a few seconds but when Louis finally nodded he set Evan down seeing him running to Harry's arms then gently took the baby in his arms. He felt many emotions rushing through his body the moment he felt her tiny body in his arms and when he saw her opening her eyes revealing a stunning grey he wanted to cry. He bit his bottom lip and blinked the tears away before lifting her up a little to kiss her forehead smiling as he did so.

"She's gorgeous." Louis looked at David then back at Melissa chuckling when she sneezed rather adorably kicking out after doing so.

"Would you like to hold her, Harry?" David asked him and as soon as Harry nodded Louis gave him the baby unable to stop thinking that that could have been him holding their baby in a future that was no longer possible.

"She's quite the stunner." Harry smiled softly rocking her while Evan watched him with pouty lips and wet eyes after he had been set down so his daddy could hold the strange creature.

"We can hold her next." Logan grabbed him pulling him back so he could sit on her lap after she had given the gifts and a hug to David.

"She's not heavy at all." Alex told her as he smiled watching his baby sister he was already so in love with.

When Harry gave her back to Louis and then with David's permission Louis allowed Logan to hold her smiling as she gushed about how cute she was. He couldn't help but frown a little when Evan was holding her and was making faces that soon turned into a pout before he pushed her away from him and went back to Harry so he could hold him.

******

"She is so precious, take really good care of her." Louis said still holding her after Harry and Brian had taken the kids outside to the backyard to play.

"I didn't say anything before not wanting to be nosy but I've noticed you're not okay Lou and I just want you to know that whatever's going on we're here for you okay. You can come see me or I can go to you, I'm just a call away." David said watching the way Louis caressed her daughter's chubby cheek with his thumb almost as if he was fearing she would break at any moment.

"Thank you." Was all Louis said not wanting to talk about the baby he never got to have while holding Melissa.

"Brian and I were going to ask you if you and Harry would do us the honor of being Melissa's godparents." David said seeing the immediate change in Louis when he looked up at him smiling and his eyes shined a little, not like they used to before but that little was something.

"Really? We would love to but don't they usually have a godfather and a godmother?" Louis asked.

"Yeah but we're not doing it the traditional way, we want both of you to be the godparents. We've known each other for five almost six years and you're always there when we need you." David said.

"Then yes, thank you for even considering us." Louis gently bounced her up and down when she started whimpering.

"We don't want anybody else." David said taking her from Louis when her cries got louder, both of them suspecting she was hungry.

They ended up leaving a few minutes later to let David rest and Melissa sleep and as soon as they got home Louis made the effort to help Harry prepare their dinner. He tried so hard to stay around and help him clean the kitchen and as soon as he was done he gave Evan a bath, took a shower and went to bed unable to fall asleep. He scooted closer to Harry as soon as his husband had taken his place next to him sighing in relief when Harry wrapped his arms around him.

"You don't kiss me anymore...or hug me like you used to." Louis blurted it out unable to stop himself then bit his tongue when Harry stiffened.

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, you need your space too." Harry responded letting go when Louis moved away from him.

"I thought...never mind." Louis shook his head trying to clear his mind then went back to rest his head on Harry's chest wrapping an arm around his torso.

"You thought what?" Harry asked.

"Nothing."

"Louis...tell me what's bothering you love, I can't help you if you don't talk to me." Harry insisted.

"Its stupid, I just thought you didn't want me anymore. I really let myself go these past few weeks and I wasn't the best to be around with." Louis shyly said feeling his face getting hot.

"Why would I stop wanting you in the first place? That's never going to happen Lou, I love you so much and I don't care what you look like or smell like. I don't care if you don't shower for a whole month." Harry said letting his hands trail up and down Louis' back feeling him shivering.

"That's gross." Louis wrinkled his nose lifting his head up to kiss Harry's chest.

"I don't care." Harry shrugged it off rubbing Louis' back underneath his shirt knowing it relaxed him.

Louis lifted his head up to look at Harry moving up and as soon as their faces were a mere few inches apart he finally leaned forward. As soon as their warm lips touched Louis realized how much he had missed them, how much he missed being that intimate with Harry feeling Harry's hands trailing down from his hips to his thighs going up again. He straddled him pulling Harry up with him into a sitting position at the same time he moved his hips around in circles, their breathing rate increasing the more Louis moved his hips against Harry's feeling himself and Harry slowly hardening.

Harry flipped them around accommodating himself in between Louis' legs feeling him wrapping them around his waist as they kissed. They felt the room getting hotter the moment Harry trailed kisses down from Louis' jaw, neck then to his collarbones sucking on the skin sending Louis into overdrive. Two months of not doing anything had Louis almost ripping Harry's shirt off rubbing his hands on the bare skin of his chest as soon as Harry had gotten rid of it.

Louis was addicted to the feel of Harry's skin and the feel of his warm lips leaving kisses everywhere he could. He lifted his hips up letting Harry pull his pajama bottoms down leaving him completely exposed gasping when Harry pushed his shirt up wrapping a hand around his cöck. Louis' eyes fluttered shut enjoying the feeling of Harry's lips trailing kisses down his collarbones to his chest as he stroked him but froze and his eyes snapped open the moment his husband's lips kissed his stomach where a baby bump was supposed to be.

"Stop. Harry stop. Stop stop stop!" Louis pushed him away breathing hard and seeing Harry moving off of him to the other side of the bed staring right back at him with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'm so- I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" Harry frantically asked making sure to keep his distance from Louis not wanting to upset him any further seeing him quickly pulling up his pajamas and lowering his shirt.

"I'm sorry, I just- I can't...I can't." Louis started crying then slowly crawled up to Harry climbing on his lap nuzzling his face on the crook of his neck.

"Its okay, its okay." Harry wrapped his arms around him figuring out on his own what had happened.

"I don't know what happened, I- I just panicked." Louis sniffled feeling even worse after what had happened.

"Don't worry about it, okay. I understand and know that I love you and I'm here, I'm always here for you." Harry buried his face on the side of Louis' head.

"I love you too. Don't ever forget that I love you even when I don't show it." Louis felt the need to assure him when all he could think was that someday Harry might get tired of him and leave.

"I'm not leaving you, never gonna leave you. We still have a whole life ahead of us and lots to do, and we're gonna do it all together." Harry managed to move back to their spots laying down with Louis still clinging to him.

"You promise?" Louis shyly asked.

"With my life." Harry kissed his forehead.

"Don't say that...please. Last time you said that I watched you die." Louis tried to burrow deeper into Harry's embrace.

"I'm here to stay Lou, I'm never going to leave and I promise you that." Harry tightened his hold feeling Louis' warm puffs of breath evening out then looked at the clock seeing how late it was getting.

"One day..." Louis murmured. "One day I'll get better."

And if Harry cried himself to sleep after he was sure Louis was in a deep sleep then no one had to know but himself. His time to grieve their child was done in the middle of the night where no one could see him, where Louis would never see him. He had to be strong for him but sometimes the strongest of them couldn't stay that way forever and continue bottling up all of their feelings, they too had a breaking point.

~*~

"Lou? Love wake up." Harry gently rubbed Louis' back trying to wake him up but Louis only grumbled something unintelligible in his sleep.

"Babe, I have to go get some groceries. We need milk and orange juice, I'll be right back." Harry leaned down to kiss Louis' forehead just as he opened his eyes.

"What time s'it?" Louis groggily asked looking around in confusion.

"Its ten twenty three, Logan's over at Tom and Lou's house with Lux and I'm gonna take Evan with me." Harry said watching Louis sitting up and rubbing his eyes yawning as he did so.

"Leave him here with me, he can stay with me." Louis looked at Harry who seemed hesitant.

"Are you sure? He's a little hyper at the moment and you're tired..." Harry gave him a worried look then sighed when Louis' expression turned into one of hurt.

"I'm sure Harry, I can watch him. He's my son and I can take care of him." Louis got up going straight to the bathroom to freshen up.

"Okay then, I won't be long. Call me if you need something." Harry walked up to him wrapping an arm around his waist and kissing him before he left telling Evan to be good on his way out.

Louis could see Evan staring at him through the mirror as he brushed his teeth then made a silly face making him giggle before he ran out of there pulling Buttercup with him. When he walked back to his bedroom Evan was by his bed trying to get Buttercup to get on the bed and Louis smiled at the dog thinking how that training school had helped. He picked his son up climbing on the bed with him then motioned for Buttercup to get on the bed making Evan squeal in happiness as soon as he was next to them.

"He can sleep with us but just this one time, okay?" Louis kissed his cheeks laying down again pulling Evan close to him.

"Okay!" Evan giggled kissing the tip of Louis' nose then tried pulling Buttercup closer until he was satisfied.

Louis smiled then closed his eyes letting sleep take over and soon he was in a deep sleep unaware of the rest of the world and reality. He felt someone pulling on his arm then tiny hands squeezing his cheeks, he tried to open his eyes but they felt heavy and soon he was lost to the world once again.

"Daddy? Daddy, I want cookie." Evan whined and when Louis never opened his eyes he huffed in annoyance and got out of bed making his way to the kitchen with Buttercup always following after him.

Once he was there he dragged a chair over and as soon as it was where he wanted it he climbed on it then on top of one of the counter tops trying to reach for the cookie jar. Once he was on his knees on top of it he opened the cabinet door having to lean backwards for it to open losing his balance and falling down hitting his head with the edge of the back of the chair on his way down..

Harry had just walked into the house through the garage door only to hear a loud thud sound followed by his son's loud piercing cries making him drop the paper bags he was holding not caring when the jars of food broke as soon as they hit the ground. In their bedroom, Louis suddenly got up fully awake upon hearing those cries and something breaking, he kicked the covers away noticing that Evan and Buttercup were gone.

He rushed to the kitchen where the cries were coming from and felt his heart dropping and his eyes stinging with tears when he saw his son wailing on the floor, Harry by his side trying to keep him down and Buttercup whimpering next to him with his paw resting on Evan's tummy refusing to move whenever Harry tried to make him move.

"Don't move him!" Harry shouted when Louis fell on his knees next to them trying to pick him and comfort him.

"But-" Louis stopped and his eyes widened when he saw the gash on his head and the heavy bleeding trying not to pass out.

Harry quickly reached for a clean cloth from one of the drawers trying to keep Buttercup from getting closer then put pressure over the wound while Evan cried inconsolably. He waited a few seconds then lifted it up only to put it back when the bleeding continued and the cut look deeper than he thought it was at first.

"Harry I'm sorry." Louis wailed reaching for Evan to try and calm him down.

"Save it!" Harry barked out carefully lifting his son up and rushing to the car with Louis following looking as pale as a ghost.

"Harry..." Louis begged completely stunned unable to properly function.

"Shut up and get in the car!" Harry yelled and when Louis didn't move he grabbed him and made him sit next to Evan telling him to hold the cloth in place then slammed the door closed getting into the driver's side.

He was fuming as he drove to the hospital hearing Louis murmuring words he couldn't hear to their son and soon after parking the car Louis was already out with Evan in his arms. Louis flinched when Harry grabbed Evan and made his way to the emergency room without so much of a glance at him and all he could do was follow him trying to catch up to him. Evan was taken to an emergency room while a nurse held back both Louis and Harry who tried to follow feeling helpless when their son's wailing got louder.

"A doctor is already seeing him, you need to stay here." The nurse told them and stayed there until Harry nodded and quit trying to go to Evan.

"I'm sorry." Louis took a step closer to him with his arms wrapped around himself.

"Is that all you have to say? I leave you alone with him for more than half an hour and you can't even stay awake long enough to make sure he's okay." Harry glared at him.

"He was with me...I- I never felt him move." Louis started crying again walking closer to Harry and hiding his face on his chest, his cries getting louder when Harry heavily sighed and slowly wrapped an arm around his waist.

"You can't- you can't keep doing this Louis, you can't." Harry let the tears fall quickly wiping them away and fully hugged Louis rubbing his back to calm him down.

Louis stayed in Harry's arms until a doctor approached them giving them a sympathetic look seeing the way they were holding onto each other. He stopped in front of them taking a deep breath before he started talking.

"Evan Styles?" He asked making sure he was talking to the right parents.

"Yes. Is he okay?" Harry asked.

"He needed a few stitches and won't stop calling for both of you but other than that he's completely fine, there aren't any signs of a concussion or other more serious head injuries." The doctor explained. "You can go see him now and he'll be able to go home in a few hours."

The doctor led them to a room where Evan was crying his eyes out, he had a bandage wrapped around his head and as soon as he saw them he lifted his little arms up wanting to be held. Louis ran to him and hugged him careful not to hurt his head and Harry walked next to them wrapping his arms around them.

"Hurts daddy." Evan sniffled against Louis' stomach.

"I'm sorry baby, daddy's so sorry." Louis said and that was the first time Harry had ever heard him willingly say the word _baby_ again.

After Evan was allowed to go home Harry had called Lou and Tom asking them if Logan could spend the night there after explaining what had happened. He had thanked them many times when they offered to watch her for the rest of the day the following day but he was quick to tell them he would be picking her up at noon. Louis left Evan sitting on the couch in the keeping room next to a clingy Buttercup watching cartoons and made his way to the kitchen where Harry was making something to eat.

"Whatever it is that you want to tell me, just tell me." Louis carefully said watching how Harry stopped chopping vegetables to look at him and after observing him for a few minutes he went back to doing what he had been doing. "Harry..."

"Nothing. I don't have anything to say." Harry shrugged never bothering to look at Louis.

"At least tell me I'm a bad father, I don't care but please say something." Louis begged and when Harry put the knife down and turned his whole body to look around his eyes widened when he saw him already in tears.

"I'm just exhausted Louis. Do you- Do you think you're the only one hurting here? I- I lost my baby too and you never bothered to ask me if I was okay. And I know its selfish to feel like this because I wasn't the one carrying it but it was my baby too and you never bothered. You left me alone to do everything by myself." Harry finally confessed what he had been bottling up for the past two months.

"That isn't selfish at all." Louis looked down in shame wrapping his arms around himself.

"I just want you to be okay, I want us to be okay...like we used to. Or almost like we used to be...w- we can't keep living like this." Harry took a deep breath at the end feeling somehow lighter.

"I'll get help." Louis said. "We could go to one of those support groups Dr. Lane told us about, I'll do anything."

He watched Harry slowly nodding then walked up to him wrapping his arms around his shoulder letting him nuzzle his face on the crook of his neck. For once he was the one to comfort Harry and after what had happened he was going to get the help he needed, he was going to get better for his and his family's sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	8. Just like how it used to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Later than usual but here it is, hope you guys like it and please don't forget to comment. Enjoy! :)

When Logan got back from Lux's house she had freaked out when she saw the bandage around her brother's head and had mothered him for the rest of the day. She would bring him whatever snack Evan's little heart desired and carry him wherever he wanted to go.

" 'Ogan, want more chocolate." Evan mumbled never taking his eyes off of the tv, the area around his mouth covered in chocolate.

"I think that's enough Bubbie, you're gonna get a tummy ache." Logan grabbed a wet wipe from the pack she had brought from the kitchen and cleaned off the chocolate making him squirm.

She looked around looking for her parents seeing them sitting on the barstools, Harry was looking at Louis while Louis was on the phone talking in a hushed tone. She went back to watching the first Toy Story movie making sure her brother's head wasn't hurting then kissed the top of it when Evan whimpered.

"We can go in tomorrow." Louis said as soon as he hung up.

"Thank you for doing this, I know its not easy for you." Harry said playing with his fingers smiling when Louis intertwined their fingers together.

"I want to get better." Was all Louis said.

"You will, we're all going to help you." Harry leaned in to kiss his cheek.

~*~

When Louis and Harry showed up to what was supposed to be a support group Dr. Lane had recommend he was surprised when he saw the many couples there. They had left the kids with Niall and Zayn who wished them the best and now that they were there he wanted to go back. They were greeted by Dr. Lane herself who introduced them to the rest of the group then took a seat at the very back always holding Harry's hand.

He listened to the many couples sharing stories and was glad he was told he could share if he felt comfortable and wanted to. Pain was the thing he had in common with many of the women and even some men who had lost their babies just like he had and thought he had gone through hell until he heard a man his age sitting next to his husband talking about losing not one but two babies.

He felt bad for him as he talked about one of his babies being ectopic and as a result had lost his other one that happened to be a normal in uterus pregnancy. Louis leaned against Harry resting his head on his left shoulder just listening until it was time to go knowing he wasn't the only one.

"Louis, Harry, I'm glad you decided to attend." Dr. Lane said standing in front of them.

"Thanks for letting us attend." Louis said feeling Harry wrapping his arm around his waist.

"You don't have to thank me, I want to help you." She smiled then her bright smile was replaced by a sad one.

"I want to apologize for the things I said to you that day, I'm really sorry about it and I just feel awful." Louis apologized, the tip of his ears turning a shade of red until she hugged him then let go still looking at him.

"I know what you're going through, when I was twenty which was twenty five years ago believe it or not," She chuckled trying to lighten up the mood. "When I was twenty I got pregnant with my first baby and lost it to an ectopic pregnancy and I can tell you that it helps to talk about it. You have a great support system who I know will listen to you." She said looking over at Harry.

"Does- Does it ever get easy?" Louis asked her.

"With time it does, I'll always miss my baby but it does get easier. Twenty five years later and here I am with three adult children so never lose hope." She placed her hand on Louis' shoulder then hugged him again when he nodded.

"Thank you." Harry mouthed at her then wrapped his arm around Louis' waist once again as soon as he was by his side again.

The drive home was silent until they entered their neighborhood and Louis turned to look at Harry seeing him looking straight ahead with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on his lap. Louis reached to hold it smiling when Harry held on to it tight and lift it up to kiss his hand.

"Thank you for going with me." Louis finally said focusing on the feel of Harry's thumb rubbing circles on top of his hand.

"I'll do anything for you, Lou."

"I still can't believe what Dr. Lane told us...and it was her first baby." Louis rubbed his free hand on his face.

"Yeah, and look at her now. Three children." Harry said then took a deep breath wondering if it was the right time and place to ask. "Are we- we ever going to try again?"

"Two months ago it was definitely a no and now I don't know. I'm scared it will happen again and I know if it does I won't make it, I can't lose another baby. I do want more kids but not right now, I need to get better before trying again." Louis gave him an apologetic look wanting nothing more than to get pregnant again but he wasn't ready, at least not yet.

"We'll wait as long as you need." Harry said then grinned like a fool while Louis braced himself for one of his stupid knock knock jokes that made Evan laugh his head off even though they weren't funny at all.

"Not the knock knock jokes." Louis groaned yet couldn't help but smile.

"I wasn't going to tell a knock knock joke, I was gonna say that I will be ready to knock you up the moment you tell me to, Logan could be heading off to Uni and I'll still be waiting." Harry said.

"Don't talk about it, she's only nine." Louis looked up still holding Harry's hand.

"You're right, she's still our baby." Harry nodded as he drove into their driveway.

When they got out of the car they noticed Evan sitting on the steps of Niall's front door holding a ball of white fur giggling like mad along with the twins. Niall was standing in front of them with his hands on his hips and Logan had Buttercup resting next to her from where she was sitting a few feet away from them. As they got closer Louis noticed it was a kitten hearing Niall telling him he had to let it go.

"Please tell me that's not a cat." Louis muttered more to himself walking faster to get there sooner when Evan looked at Niall with teary eyes before he burst out crying hiding the kitten under his shirt.

"What's going on?" Harry asked.

"We found the kitten at the park and he brought it home without asking." Niall explained letting both Louis and Harry take over.

"Evan, we already have Buttercup." Louis squatted down in front of him observing the white kitten with shiny blue eyes and playful expression peeking out of the top of Evan's shirt.

"Its mine." Evan frowned turning his body around so the kitten was out of Louis' reach.

"Evan you can't just go around picking up stray cats, maybe it has an owner who's looking for it and they're very sad at the moment." Louis tried to make him understand they couldn't keep it and he didn't want a cat in the house.

"No, he's mine. Its a baby boy daddy, his name is Figeral." Evan pouted then giggled when the white kitten licked his chin then purred.

"Fitzgerald." Logan corrected him then went back to petting Buttercup kissing in between his ears before looking at them with big green/blue eyes.

"Oh that's cute." Harry approved quickly shutting up when Louis looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"Can we keep him? He's still a baby and Buttercup found him and brought it to us. He's a daddy now, this is his destiny!" Logan exclaimed putting passion and emotion into her words.

"Honey...a kitten is a big responsibility, especially when they're this small. He should still be with his mummy." Louis said.

"We looked for her and we couldn't find her, she left him alone and Buttercup saved him." Logan explained and when Louis looked back at Evan he wasn't surprised at all to see Harry already sitting on the steps with Evan on his lap as both of them petted the kitten.

"He reminds me of Dusty." Harry grinned picking up the kitten to cuddle him against his chest.

"You had a cat named Dusty?" Logan raised her eyebrows.

"Mhm, he died when he was eleven years old. I got him when I was three and died when I was fifteen, he got hit by a car." Harry said getting sad out of nowhere.

"He's in heaven now babe, remember I told you that when you told me he had passed away." Louis said walking up to Harry and Evan sitting next to them while Niall watched them with a tiny smile.

Louis picked up Chloe then Jeremy setting them on his lap so they could pet the kitten while Niall went to sit next to Logan. Louis looked around trying to find Zayn frowning when he was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Zayn?" He finally asked.

"He went to get something to eat. Are you guys staying?" Niall raised his eyebrows expecting a yes.

"Sure." Louis smiled.

"So can we keep him daddy?" Logan asked eyeing the white persian kitten.

"Sweetheart we already have Buttercup and another pet is too much." Louis said looking at Harry for help but instead found him giving him puppy eyes with Evan and the kitten against his chest, the kitten trying to get out of his grasp.

"Look at him Lou, he's just so cute and soft. And he has blue eyes. Blue eyes!" Harry let go of it so the kids could play with him while the kitten clung to Evan.

Louis stared at his son seeing the way he giggled whenever the kitten would lick his face and be a playful little thing. Harry had moved closer to Logan petting Buttercup then wrapped his arm around Logan's shoulder telling her something that made her giggle.

"Can we keep him?" Logan and Harry said at the same time begging with their eyes and pouting their lips.

"Is it even healthy?" Louis asked trying to keep a straight face.

"Yes, uncle Niall said he was okay when he checked to know if he was a boy or a girl." Logan furiously nodded letting Buttercup get up then watched him walk and lay down next to Evan eyeing the kitten.

"Hmm," Louis put his hand on his hips. "I don't know, can we?"

"Please!" Logan begged.

"Harry?" Louis looked at his husband with a raised eyebrow.

"I have no problem Lou, you know I love cats so this is up to you." Harry shrugged ignoring the betrayed looks Logan sent his way.

"If we keep him both you and Evan are gonna have to take care of him and I don't want him on the beds or any piece of furniture." Louis said chuckling when she was already cheering then stumbled backwards when she got up and threw herself at him hugging him around the waist.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She smiled kissing his cheek then pulled away wrapping her arms around her brother. "Daddies said we can keep Fitzgerald!"

Evan just smiled lifting the kitten up to kiss him then placed him down on his lap where Buttercup was quick to pick him up by the scruff of his neck and walk away from them to the other side of the front yard. He laid down under a tree setting the kitten next to him where he started licking him then let him explore the area always keeping an eye on him.

"See that daddy, I told you he is a daddy now." Logan said smiling when the kitten got too far away from Buttercup making the dog get up to go get him going back to his old spot again.

"We have to take him to the vet, get all his vaccinations and whatever he needs." Louis got up following Niall inside smiling when Chloe took off running after her papa grabbing his hand while Jeremy stayed behind with the rest.

"How was it?" Niall asked as soon as they were in the kitchen.

"It was okay, I heard many stories and some were just...I guess it helps to talk about it." Louis played with the salt shaker smiling when he heard Jeremy screaming daddy and seconds later Zayn walked through the door.

"Hey Lou, how was it?" Zayn placed two bags full of food on the kitchen island.

"Okay, I still don't feel ready to talk about it but I guess I'll get there. Its a very comfortable and friendly environment, nobody judges." Louis said putting the salt shaker back in its place.

"If you ever need someone to talk we're all here." Zayn smiled at him then started taking the food out of the bags. "Oh, Harry had to go home to change Evan's bandage, he took everyone with him."

"We got a cat." Louis commented.

"Figeral. I saw him, he's a cute little thing and I think its funny how Logan named him Fitzgerald, she heard me talking about him." Zayn chuckled.

"The Great Gatsby, I read that book." Louis said remembering reading that book years ago.

Harry returned minutes later with the kitten's head poking out of his shirt and carrying Evan and Jeremy who would giggle every time Fitzgerald would lick Harry's collarbones. Logan was walking next to him holding Buttercup's leash already eyeing the chinese food Zayn had brought. The whole time they were eating Louis spent it keeping Evan from trying to pick up the kitten until Buttercup took him and went to lay down with him away from the noise.

A week later Evan had his stitches removed and had cried for an hour straight after it when Louis had to clean the wound a few hours later to keep it clean. Louis and Harry were still attending the meetings and Harry could see it really started helping Louis when he started talking about it more often and by the end of the week he had made a few friends. Their four year anniversary was getting closer and he wanted to do something special for Louis but going on vacation was out of the question since Louis refused to leave the house and be away from their children.

That Wednesday morning a week and a half after Evan's accident Harry was up bright and early wanting to head to work as early as he could to be able to get home sooner than what he was used to. Louis was still in bed asleep on his back with Fitzgerald sleeping on his chest, the rise and fall of his chest lulling him into a deep sleep. He would've never thought that Louis would get so attached to the small fluffy kitten when they took him in, now he always had him on his lap when watching tv and on his chest or his side whenever Fitzgerald felt like sleeping with him.

Harry kissed his forehead then lightly pet the kitten's head leaving a note for Louis then walked upstairs to check on Logan and Evan who were once again sleeping together. He smiled when he saw Evan laying down by Logan's legs hugging them then carefully picked him up putting him next to Logan and fixed the blankets around them. He kissed their foreheads petting Buttercup on his way out then left for work.

Louis woke up exactly at eight when he felt tiny licks on his cheek and the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the white fur then felt him walking around on his chest. He grabbed him putting him next to him on Harry's side where he fell asleep again, he sat up looking around smiling when he noticed the note on his nightstand. He smiled then bit his lower lip trying to keep the smile from growing until he gave up and ended up grinning like a fool sighing like a teenager at seeing his first crush doing something cute.

_Good morning love! You looked so adorable sleeping with Fitzgerald I didn't want to wake you up, breakfast's ready and I'll see you later. I love you so much, angel._

He put the note in his drawer then got up to the bathroom to get ready for the day and as soon as he got out of the bathroom he saw Evan walking into the room looking for him. He looked around then ran to the bed using the stool to make it easier to climb then got under the covers curling up into a little ball pulling the kitten into his arms falling back asleep a few seconds later.

He let them sleep and instead focused on tidying up around the house while already thinking about what to make for dinner. While he was picking up in the keeping room he stopped when he saw a picture of Evan and Logan when he was a newborn and she was sitting in the middle of his and Harry's bed holding her brother.

He picked up the picture frame and took a seat on one of the couches unable to take his eyes off of the newborn wanting to just hold a baby in his arms again, one that belonged to both of them. He put it back on its spot taking a deep breath deciding that having another baby could wait and for now he was only going to focus on his family and getting better.

By the time both Logan and Evan were up he had breakfast ready on the table letting them eat before taking them to get a haircut. When they were done Evan's hair had only been cut a few centimeters enough to let him see without having to get it out of his eyes in order to see and Logan's was just below her shoulders making it more curly than it had been before.

He spent the rest of the day spending time with them alternating between painting with Logan and playing a board game with Evan. Logan had joined later when she was done with her painting but in the end Louis had ended the game when Evan lost and started crying before he threw a dice cube at her hitting her shoulder with it. She looked ready to murder until Louis gave her a warning look then picked Evan up taking him to his bedroom to have a serious talk with him.

"Now what do we say?" Louis asked Evan as soon as they were back in the keeping room where Logan was sitting on the couch watching tv with Fitzgerald on her lap and Buttercup next to her.

Evan only looked down as his bottom lip trembled and more tears rolled down his cheeks, he tightened his grip on Louis' hand then looked back at Logan.

"Remember what we talked about." Louis once again said letting go to put his hand on Evan's back then gently pushed him forward a little.

"I'm sorry 'Ogan." Evan mumbled and when Logan opened her arms he ran into them kissing all over her face giggling when she returned the kisses.

"I love you Bubbie." Logan hugged him tight.

"Love you too." Evan nuzzled his face on the crook of Logan's neck.

Louis left them alone and went back to the kitchen to see if they had anything good to make dinner with and when he couldn't he stopped in the middle of it trying to decide whether to go out and get groceries. He was still thinking with his hands on his hips when he heard the faint sound of a garage door opening and seconds later Buttercup jumping up from his spot and running to the door trying to get out.

"Daddy!" Evan screamed running to Harry as soon as he had walked through the door.

"Hi bud, look what daddy got you." Harry bent down to hug him and kiss his forehead then gave him a bag filled with toy cars.

When Harry walked into the kitchen Louis' jaw dropped open and his eyes widened when he saw his husband carrying the biggest bouquet of white roses in one arm and a gift bag in his other hand. He set the bag on top of the counter then walked up to Louis wrapping his arm around his waist giving him a chaste kiss then gave him the roses.

"Thank you, but what's this for?" Louis asked taking the roses and admiring them, he then leaned down taking in the fresh aroma filling his senses.

"I wanted to bring you something nice and I thought, why don't I get him roses. I don't do it that often, its always something else." Harry fully wrapped his arms around him nuzzling his face against the side of Louis' head then pulled back with a worried expression when he heard Louis sniffling.

"I'm sorry, I just got emotional out of nowhere and just...thank you. I love you, cookie." Louis said and Harry smiled because there it was again, the term of endearment Louis would always call him.

"I love you too, angel." Harry kissed his cheek. "Do you want to go out and eat instead of making dinner?"

"Yes please, we need to go grocery shopping 'cause we're out of food." Louis said walking away to find a flower vase to put the roses in seeing Logan walking into the kitchen with Fitzgerald in her arms.

"Hi daddy." Logan smiled walking straight into Harry's arms then her eyes widened when she saw the bouquet of white roses Louis was still holding.

"Hi bug, I got you something." Harry grabbed the bag smiling when she placed the kitten on the floor who immediately ran away then opened the bag.

Her smile widened when she saw the oil pastels she had asked him if she could get the week before.

"Thank you, thank you, and you got the ones I wanted! I love you daddy." Logan hugged him around the waist.

Harry couldn't help but notice the way Louis was looking at them with the brighest smile ever and he knew that things would get better, they were already getting better. After putting the flowers in a flower vase he took them to the great room putting them on top of the chimney then stepped back admiring them once again.

When they were ready Harry drove to Olive Garden letting Logan and Evan sit together on one side of the booth while he took the seat next to Louis immediately holding hands with him under the table. Louis ended up ordering Lasagna for both kids while he had the Spaghetti Marinara and Harry had the Trofie Al Pesto. They ate only making small conversation and Harry told Logan how beautiful she looked with her new haircut.

"I think I'm gonna get a haircut too, my hair's getting too long." Harry said before taking a bite from his food.

"Your hair is perfect babe. Did someone made a comment again? Who do I have to fight?" Louis placed his hand on the top of Harry's thigh squeezing it a bit for comfort.

"No one, I just need a trim." Harry was quick to say knowing how defensive Louis could get when it came to his hair.

"You'll tell me if they say something, right?" Louis raised his eyebrows then smiled when Harry nodded.

By the time Harry paid they made their way to the exit stopping when Logan and Evan asked for a lollipop and just as Harry picked him up he bumped into another man carrying his baby boy on his hip. He looked his way to apologize but his eyes widened when he saw Drew standing in front of him with another man's arm wrapped around his waist.

"Harry?" Drew spoke in complete surprise then seconds later smiled.

"Drew, nice to see you here. I thought you had moved to France." Harry smiled handing Evan his lollipop.

"I moved back a year ago with my husband." Drew said then looked at the taller man with dark short hair and blue eyes standing next to him. "Harry this is my husband Austin, babe this is Harry, I used to work for him before moving to France." Drew introduced them.

"Nice to meet you." Austin raised his hand to shake hands with Harry while he did the same.

"Nice to meet you too. And who's this cutie?" Harry smiled at the baby just as Louis caught up with them with Logan walking in front of him.

"Harry- Oh, hello." Louis said immediately going to stand next to Harry.

"Hi Louis." Drew smiled a little then looked down at his feet.

"Hi, how have you been?" Louis asked, his eyes never leaving the baby Drew was carrying.

"Good. This is my husband Austin, Austin this is Louis." Drew was quick to introduce them.

"Hello." Louis looked at him then back at the baby.

"This is our son Jackson." Drew happily said lightly bouncing up and down the green eyed baby with the darkest hair Louis had ever seen.

"He is adorable, how old is he?" Louis cracked a smile reaching to tickle the baby feeling a thousand times better when the baby giggled then wrapped his tiny fist around Louis' finger.

"He's nine months old...he likes you." Drew chuckled.

"This is Logan and Evan, you probably remember her." Louis introduced both his kids ignoring Logan when she gave him a knowing look.

"I remember her." Drew smiled then looked at her. "You're all grown up, how old are you?"

"Nine, Evan's four." Logan happily answered ignoring her brother's sour looks.

"I'm four." Evan lifted five fingers up wanting to tell him himself.

"That's so old! You're all grown up now." Drew enthusiastically said.

"You guys just got here?" Harry asked both of them.

"Yeah, we wanted to get out of the house for a bit." Austin answered taking Jackson when the baby started fussing.

"We were on our way out, it was nice seeing you again." Louis said still looking at the baby and when they said their goodbyes Harry was quick to take Louis' hand in his.

When they got home Evan ran straight to Fitzgerald taking him out of his cage then Buttercup before Logan could take the kitten running to the keeping room. Logan got there later after taking a shower wanting the kitten then pouted when Evan refused to let go of him.

"He's mine!" Evan screamed as he scooted backwards and Logan only kept getting closer.

"He's mine too." Logan argued trying to take him from him making him scream and push her hands away.

"Give him!"

"Hey, stop arguing or I'm gonna take him with me." Louis walked in giving them a warning look then sighed when the kitten got out Evan's grasp and ran away hiding underneath the couch.

"Look what you did, stupid!" Logan growled crawling towards the couch to try and get him out of there.

"Logan, this better be the last time I hear you using that kind of language. Got it?" Louis scolded her seeing her nodding.

"I'm sorry, sorry Bub." Logan said then went back to try and get him out while Louis picked his son up and walked upstairs with him to give him a bath promising cuddles after it.

~*~

That night Louis tucked them in then waited for Harry to kiss them goodnight before going back to their bedroom where he groaned because he still had to take a shower. He could see Harry taking his clothes off as he made his way there until he disappeared out of sight only in his briefs. Louis waited a few seconds before he locked the door then took his clothes off heading for the shower too sure of himself that he was ready to go back to the way things used to be before.

Harry's back was to him when he walked into the spacious shower letting his eyes trail down his lean and long back taking in his broad shoulders and his arms that could hold him up against the wall without any effort. He took one, two steps letting his hands trail down Harry's back then all the way up again to his shoulders while Harry relaxed under his touch.

Harry turned around wrapping his arms around Louis' waist gasping when Louis pushed him against the shower wall letting his lips hover over his before he finally felt them. Louis started moving his hips against Harry's loving the way Harry reacted to him even when he was just getting started.

He let Harry pick him up by the back of his thighs and seconds later felt the shower wall against his back shuddering from the cold then wrapped his legs around his waist and arms around his neck. His eyes fluttered shut when Harry trailed kisses down the left side of his neck sometimes nipping on the skin moving his hips against Louis' while he moved them around in circles until Harry set him down.

"Harry?" Louis looked up at him with a shocked expression then closed his eyes when rejection began spreading through out him like poison.

Harry walked out of there and just when Louis was about to get out of the shower Harry returned with a small bottle in his hands and a troubled expression.

"We don't have any condoms." He said getting closer to Louis until he was against the wall again.

"I'm still taking birth control...you can pull out." Louis suggested gasping when Harry picked him up again kissing him with enough force to bruise his lips.

He had his eyes closed kissing on Harry's neck and feeling him moving around tensing up when he felt one of his fingers tracing his rim then relaxed letting him push it in all the way to the knuckle. He doesn't know when but soon he had wrapped around his cöck and the other around Harry's letting him hold him up while he fingered him moaning just when Harry hit his spot.

Louis wrapped his arms around his neck and felt himself going limp in Harry's hold letting him do everything and before he knew it Harry was three fingers deep inside of him feeling him opening him up. He nodded before kissing him when Harry looked into his eyes giving him that look he knew so well, the one that asked if he was ready. He buried his face on the crook of Harry's neck as soon as he felt him entering him going as slow as he could glad that he had taken the time to lube himself up.

After almost three months without any sex he could feel the burn as Harry move to fit more and more inside of him yet deep in his core he loved it. He loved the way Harry would stretch him open and make him feel good doing the same in return giving all of him, all he had to Harry and only him.

"You okay?" Harry panted against Louis' lips trying to stay still letting Louis get used to him.

"Yeah, I am. Y- You can move." Louis finally said after a few seconds.

Louis rested the back of his head against the shower wall removing his hold around Harry's neck trying to hold on to something to keep himself from bouncing up and down at the same time Harry would thrust into him. His hands would slip off the tiles getting frustrated until Harry stopped, pulled out then then set him down turning him around so his front was against the wall.

He spread Louis' legs and wrapped an arm around his slim waist before he pushed into him thrusting in and out. He then wrapped a hand around Louis' cöck earning small breathy moans that were just Louis when he was trying to be quiet and were nothing compared to his moans and groans that in his ears only kept getting louder.

"Fast- Faster." Louis threw his head backwards resting it against Harry's chest ignoring the water spraying on their right sides.

Harry sped up his thrusts hitting that spot at the same time he stroked Louis faster knowing he was closer then felt him tightening around him letting one last moan before he was coming right on his hand. He kept going until he couldn't hold it any longer feeling himself already coming at any second now and pulled out already shooting his load all over Louis' lower back.

They stayed there trying to catch their breaths until Harry pulled Louis towards the water to clean him up and finish their shower. While he washed Louis' hair then his body he couldn't stop telling him how much he loved him and when it was Louis' turn he was surprised when he pushed him towards the shower seat in the corner. As soon as Harry was sitting on it Louis was quick to get on his knees and take him into his mouth, he came repeating Louis' name like a prayer before taking his much needed shower.

That night they fell asleep happier than ever after another round and if Louis had to stay in bed longer than usual the following morning then no one had to know the reason why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> I apologize for the shitty smut.


	9. You light me up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank a friend of mine for helping me write the smut when my brain was being a useless piece of crap so all credits to him.

**One Month Later**

A month later Harry stood in a flower shop two blocks away from his studio buying as many red roses as he could while their friends entertained Louis and their kids. It was the day of their anniversary and Harry had spent all day cooking a nice meal and preparing a surprise for Louis. He had arranged for Liam and Eleanor to watch Logan and Evan along with Buttercup and Fitzgerald for that night along with the rest of the next day telling them he would be picking them up after dinner.

He paid for the flowers then walked to his car with a young boy walking behind him to help him get the rest of the bouquets in his car. After they were done he gave a generous tip to the boy who happily smiled as he thanked him then left after Harry had thanked him. He drove home and as soon as he had parked he carried the flowers inside setting them on top of the counters and some on the floor then looked around making sure everything was ready.

Since Louis had refused to go anywhere Harry had set up a candle lit dinner in the dinning room and the only thing missing were the flowers. He happily walked around setting up the carefully arranged bouquets in the dinning room then walked to their bedroom spreading the petals on their bed in the shape of a heart. He knew it was cliche but he could care less when all he wanted was to make Louis happy and have the perfect night together.

When he was done the house was filled with the red roses letting out their fresh aroma and once he was satisfied and sure that everything was ready and perfect he went to pick Louis up. He had made sure to ask Liam to have Louis dress in something nice wanting the occasion to be perfect and as soon as he was in his and Eleanor's apartment he knocked on the door smiling when he heard Buttercup's barks then Evan's screams. He smiled at Eleanor when she opened the door carrying a sleepy baby on her hip then saw Evan hanging from her leg with Fitzgerald underneath his shirt trying to hold on to it.

"Hi El, is Louis ready?" Harry smiled at her taking Evan from her who clung to him.

"He is, come in." Eleanor moved over to the side to let him in closing the door after herself.

"Where's Liam and Logan?" Harry asked as he looked around for them.

"They went to get something to eat but they should be here at any minute now. Is everything ready?"

"Yeah, I just hope he doesn't think I overdid it." Harry started getting nervous pacing back and forth until Louis walked in fully dressed.

"I am ready, lets go." Louis said grabbing his phone and wallet then walked straight to Harry taking Evan from him kissing his forehead. "Daddy and I are gonna go now, be a good boy for auntie El and uncle Liam. Daddy loves you and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Where you going?" Evan asked placing his tiny hands on Louis' cheeks.

"Daddy and I are going on a little vacation but we'll be back to pick you and sissy up tomorrow before dinner." Louis hugged him then set him down where Harry kissed and hugged him.

They left after Liam and Logan got there and they said goodbye to her leaving Evan a crying mess who forgot about them as soon as Fitzgerald was in his arms and Buttercup by his side. Harry drove straight home and as soon as they were standing outside he blindfolded Louis wanting it to be a surprise.

"What's this for?" Louis asked letting Harry guide him through the house.

"Its a surprise." Was all Harry said stopping in the dinning running to light up the candles then removed the blindfold.

Louis gasped when he saw the entire room filled with red roses and the table already set up then turned around to look at Harry before he wrapped his arms around him and kissed the right side of his neck.

"Its beautiful! You did it all by yourself?" Louis pulled away enough to look at him then stood up on his tippy toes to kiss his lips.

"Do you like it?" Harry asked.

"I love it! You cooked dinner too?"

"Yes, please sit down so I can serve it." Harry smiled pulling out a chair for him and as soon as Louis sat down he ran to the kitchen coming back minutes later with plates filled with Linguine Carbonara and under his arm a bottle of wine.

"It looks delicious." Louis waited for Harry to sit down and as soon as he did they started eating sometimes talking and laughing remembering all the good times.

After they were done eating they moved on to dessert which were chocolate covered strawberries Harry had made the day before. They were Louis' favorite dessert ever since Harry had made them for their second aniversary date and Louis had asked for them ever since.

"Did you liked the food?" Harry asked taking a bite from a strawberry Louis offered him.

"It was delicious...and all the roses, I've never seen that many roses in my life." Louis looked around with bright blue eyes full of life.

"I wanted to get you more but all the flower shops ran out of them." Harry shrugged his left shoulder scooting his chair closer to Louis' locking their ankles together.

"They're beautiful, thank you."

"Anything for you." Harry leaned in to kiss his cheek then the left corner of his lips smiling when Louis fully kissed him then pulled away, his eyes never leaving him.

"You're always so romantic." Louis said making Harry smile as he adjusted his tie.

Louis bit his bottom lip the moment he noticed the tie Harry was wearing, that tie he loved knowing Harry just wanted to look nice for him. It shimmered in the candle light at the dinner table. It made something strange snap in Louis, that tie just had lust writen all over it. His groin turned by the torture of looking at the redness of it, Louis couldn’t help but wonder if he tied it around Harry’s hands while they were fücking would they turn that shade of red.

“I have something for you." Louis said slyly while eyeing Harry up and down taking in his strong arms and toned chest, the sudden confidence filling up his senses.

“Love, you didn’t have to.” Before Harry could finish Louis was already tugging on the tie dragging Harry to their bedroom.

He stopped in his tracks when he noticed the bed full of rose petals shaped into a heart and for a moment gave him a shy watery smile but was soon replaced by a lustful one.

“Lou, wait, what are you doing?" Harry called as Louis practically dragged him to the bed.

“Want you…now.” Louis said attacking Harry’s neck with kisses as he slid his finger down the length of the tie.

“What's gotten into you?” Harry asked already all hot and bothered mixed with surprise since Louis was still a bit shy when it came to sex.

“This tie has been torturing me all night….would you care if we try something new?” Louis asked with lust filled eyes.

“Something new? What do you have in mind?” Harry asked smiling as Louis untied his tie.

“I. Want. To. Tie. Your. Hands. Up.” Louis announced each word slowly into Harry’s ear before nipping his ear lobe.

“Fück. Anything, anything you want.” Harry said pushing Louis onto his back kissing his neck and lifting his shirt over his head, kissing every inch of Louis' torso.

Louis swiftly removed Harry’s tie off his shirt and leaned up to unbutton his shirt marveling at the work of art that was his husband's chest, and it was all his. Harry reached underneath Louis cupping his firm bottom making Louis let out a long moan at Harry’s groping hands.

He flipped Harry onto his back then took his right arm and kissed up then kissed every single fingertip setting his hand next to the headboard. He repeated the process with his left, until it was placed next to the other hand near the headboard.

“Are you ready?” Louis asked.

“Y- Yeah.” Harry said looking into Louis eyes.

Louis took the silky red tie and tied Harry’s hands together to the middle of the headboard and kissed down his arms and up his neck then finally his lips. After breaking off the kiss Louis looked into Harry’s eyes seeing that Harry still looked at him the same.

“I love you." He said as he straddled Harry's lap.

“Love you more.” Harry said smiling at Louis.

Louis blushed as he started unbuttoning Harry’s pants and once they were off Louis kissed up Harry’s legs and fluttered kisses above Harry’s pant line line causing Harry to squirm in pleasure. Louis paused then started unbuttoning his own pants.

“Let me help..." Harry said trying to move forward forgetting that his hands were tied pulling him back down.

The action caused Louis to smile and make Harry squirm again. Louis leaned in and kissed him as he slid his own pants off leaving him only in his briefs. He placed his thumbs into the waist line of Harry’s briefs and swiftly tugged them down causing Harry’s böner to be released hearing a soft almost inaudible sigh coming from him. Louis looked at it with such an achy needy hunger and his stomach tightened as he kissed Harry’s inner thigh then teasingly licked Harry’s hard on. Harry let out an unexpected moan and Louis smiled satisfied with his work knowing that he was the only one that got to cause them and hear them.

"Look at you...” Louis said looking at Harry.

“W- What?” Harry stuttered.

"You’re all tied up, who's gonna prep me now, hmm?” Louis said smirked at hearing Harry letting out a tiny moan.

Louis took a deep breath hoping for everything to go okay then pressed his two fingers against Harry’s lips. “Suck.”

He felt a wave of something unknown but pleasurable running down his spine when Harry more than happily obliged. Louis laid at the end of the bed perfectly in Harry’s sight as he started touching himself trying to be sexy enough for Harry. Little moans escaped from Louis as Harry grunted struggling to set himself free and touch himself or touch Louis, he would rather touch Louis seeing the way his fingers moved in and out of him. He wanted to be the one making Louis moan and grunt whenever he would add another finger until he was four fingers deep inside of him.

“Lou- babe I want to touch you.” Harry begged watching Louis fingering himself going in and out faster until he stopped then pulled them out.

"Not tonight, you don't get to touch me at all.” Louis teased causing Harry to pull on the ties with more force just wanting to feel Louis' soft and warm skin underneath his fingertips.

Louis stood up and crawled towards Harry straddling him feeling the tip of his cöck right against his hole.

"Louis wait!” Harry said sternly making Louis stop.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked already nervous that Harry wasn’t into it anymore.

“Lube, you're gonna hurt yourself. And a condom...unless, unless you're ready.” Harry blushed and Louis smiled leaning down to kiss him.

Louis reached over to the bedside table grabbing lube and a foil packet out of the drawer and opened it slowly rolling it down Harry’s shaft causing Harry to moan at Louis' touch. The sound getting louder the more Louis lubed him up wanting to make it easier.

“Ready?” Louis asked somewhat impatiently.

“Yes!” Harry said rather eagerly.

Louis started descending onto Harry feeling his tip breaching his entrance causing him to let out a mumbled moan. He stopped halfway down to adjust himself and make it more comfortable. Harry stared at Louis in astonishment, he had never seen Louis this sexually involved except for those times of the month where they knew the chances of him getting pregnant were higher.

Soon, Louis was flush against Harry before letting out another moan then leaned forward placing his palms on Harry’s chest trying to catch his breath. Harry instinctivley bent his knees letting Louis lean his back against his thighs. Harry growing rabid from lack of movement pushed into Louis causing Louis to let out a surprise gasp falling forward and holding onto Harry's shoulders.

“Ohh.” Louis gasped tightening his hold on Harry's shoulders from the unexpectedness.

He bit his lips as he started sliding his body up and down Harry’s thighs feeling pleasure every time he ended up pressed up against Harry’s pelvis. He picked up his pace sliding his feet under Harry’s arse to get a better grip and cause more friction.

“Christ Louis.” Harry said scratching at the tie in pure bliss.

“You like that?” Louis asked with sweat dripping down his forehead.

“You’ve- oh fück, no idea.” Harry moaned out.

The sound of wet skin on wet skin only kept getting louder the faster Louis moved already feeling tired yet kept moving until Harry stilled his hips and looked right into his eyes.

“Louis, I think I’m, oh god yes! I'm going t- to come." He said and with that Louis stopped moving and Harry let out a frustrated gasp.

“Not until I’m ready." Louis said before waiting a minute to start moving again.

Harry started moaning as did Louis, both their moans mingling while Louis stroked himself wanting to get there faster.

“Babe, really close.” Harry cried.

“Me- me too." Louis said as he pumped faster.

“I’m going to come Lou." Harry panted making Louis clench around Harry.

Harry's felt his stomach tightening unable to control himself when he bucked his hips up slamming into Louis. Moments later Louis' stomach tightened up and his vision went blurry letting go just as Harry did. He came all over Harry's chest while Harry came into the condom slowing down until they weren't moving at all. Louis was out of breath placing his hand on Harry’s chest trying to catch his breath.

“Louis, god, wow...” Harry smiled glancing up at the tie catching Louis' attention.

“Oh, let me get that.” Louis blushed climbing off of Harry wincing at the the loss of him inside him. He untied Harry's hands feeling a little bad when he saw the red marks around them.

"Its okay, they don't hurt." Harry sat up still rubbing a little on the red marks.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, now come on, let's go shower." Harry got up then picked Louis up into his arms taking him to the bathroom.

~*~

The next day Louis lay in bed staring up at the ceiling still feeling the after effects of their wild night the night before when they had gone at it for what felt like forever. Harry was still by his side sleeping with his head laying next to Louis' shoulder, his cheeks still a little rosy as well as his lips that were still a bit swollen. Louis shifted a little wincing when he felt a small ache then lifted the sheets seeing his hips were a little bit bruised up.

"Morning." Harry's hoarsely mumbled moving around until he was pressed up to Louis' side burying his face on the crook of his neck.

"Morning sleepy head. Did you get a good night's sleep?" Louis smirked grunting when Harry shifted on top of him then out of nowhere flipped them around so Louis was on top of him and in between his legs.

"The best, but I'm still a bit tired." Harry started rubbing Louis' back trying to relax the muscles knowing he was still a bit achy.

Louis rested his head on Harry's chest trying to relax while counting the tiny red marks he had left all over his chest that were now a purple and blue color. Some were as big as a coin then lifted his head up when he remembered the red marks all over Harry's wrists. He got up on his knees grabbing his hands to check them and his eyes widened when he saw the bruises all over his wrists then closed his eyes feeling awful.

"I'm sorry, does it hurt?" Louis asked as he kissed each bruise then opened his eyes to see Harry smiling up at him.

"They don't hurt Lou, I'm okay." Harry wrapped a hand around the back of Louis' neck bringing him forward to kiss him smiling when Louis quickly pulled away.

"Morning breath, we're all stinky." Louis chuckled while running his hand through Harry's hair glad that he had only trimmed it a little bit, he was in love with his long hair, in love with the way he could pull on it while having sex always getting a reaction out of him.

"Shower?" Harry asked trying to get up.

"But we brush our teeth first." Louis nodded then got up and as soon as he was next to the bed he smacked Harry's arm and ran to the bathroom. "Race ya!"

Louis didn't even made it to the sink when Harry's arms were wrapping around his waist and lifting him up taking him there while he pressed tiny kisses on his neck and cheek. He set him down then grabbed his toothbrush taking the time to brush his teeth while Louis did the same until they were finished heading straight for the shower.

After they were done Louis got out with a towel wrapped around his waist looking straight at the bathtub wanting to just fill it up and relax deciding to just do it another time. Once he was dressed he walked to the kitchen smiling on his way there seeing all the bouquets of red roses grabbing one of Harry's cameras taking his time to take as many pictures as he could.

"Babe, what do you want for breakfast?" Harry asked as he made his way to the kitchen only wearing shorts and Louis was pretty sure that was the only thing he was wearing.

"Bacon, lots of bacon. You have a lot of pictures already, can I see them?" Louis asked not wanting to intrude.

"Sure. And bacon it is...why don't I add eggs, only bacon can't be good for us." Harry said with his head buried in the fridge looking for the eggs and bacon.

"I'm so hungry. You already have pictures of Fitzgerald...oh that one's cute." Louis commented.

"The kids took a few." Harry said.

Harry smiled not even bothering to keep talking to him since Louis was too engrossed in what he was doing making comments here and there. He was forced to take the camera away from Louis when he wouldn't stop looking at them even though the plate full of food was right in front of him. Louis pouted for a few minutes then finally started eating making conversation hating how silent it was.

After they were done they cleaned the kitchen together that only resulted in disaster when Louis kept throwing water at Harry while he rinsed the dishes to put them in the dishwasher. They were forced to clean and disinfect the countertops after Harry had fücked Louis on top of it and at the time Louis had given zero fücks that his bare ass had been touching it.

The plan was to pick up the kids before dinner but had been rudely interrupted when Harry's phone went off in the middle of Louis riding Harry on the floor in the middle of their bedroom after they had failed to get to the bed. They kept going completely ignoring it when Louis' phone also went off just when he came followed by Harry. He quickly got up to answer it leaving Harry on the floor still a bit disoriented and picked up when he saw it was Eleanor.

"Hello?" Louis answered still out of breath.

"Sorry for interrupting your you know fest but a little someone wants to talk to you. He's been fussy all morning." Eleanor said.

"Sorry about that El, can you please put him on the phone." Louis sighed already hearing his son's whimpers.

"Sure! Here you go buddy, its daddy Louis." Eleanor cooed at him while Evan's whimpers got closer.

"Daddy?" Evan hiccuped then let out a soft cry.

"Hi sweetheart, why are you crying baby?" Louis cooed walking to the bathroom to clean himself up then looked around for his clothes.

"Daddy, wanna go home...and Figeral and Buttercup too. And 'Ogan too." Evan sniffled.

"No I don't!" Logan shouted from somewhere then Louis winced when he heard Evan crying louder.

"Daddy and I will pick you up in a bit, baby, Get your bag ready, okay. Let me talk to auntie El." Louis said.

"Okay, bye bye daddy." Evan said before giving the phone back to Eleanor.

"You're picking them up?" Eleanor asked as soon as she had the phone close to her ear.

"Yeah, we'll be there in about forty five minutes." Louis said then hung up after saying their goodbyes.

"Who was that?" Harry asked from where he was still on the floor.

"Eleanor, Evan's been crying and I'm gonna go pick them up." Louis said already putting his pants on then a shirt.

"I'll go with you...my ass hurts." Harry muttered trying to get up.

"Your ass...you didn't get dìck up your ass." Louis incredulously said.

"I didn't, it was when we fell off the bed last night. I landed on my ass and then you just kept going." Harry said in complete wonder as he walked into the closet.

Louis blushed remembering the many rounds from last night where he had pushed Harry too far trying to get him to fück him from behind. He had made him fall right on his ass and just like that he had climbed down the bed to keep riding him seeming as if it was the only position where Louis could go at the pace he wanted also loving how he could tease Harry all he wanted.

"You liked it!" Louis shouted grabbing Harry's car keys as soon as he was ready.

"I did, a night I will never forget." Harry followed him to the car letting Louis drive.

When they got there Evan immediately made Louis pick him up nuzzling his face on the crook of his neck while Louis tried to find a comfortable position while sitting down. He noticed Eleanor looking at him with raised eyebrows and a mocking expression until he mouthed at her to shut up. They only stayed there for half an hour then ended up leaving going to get groceries since it was on their way home.

The month passed by rather smoothly and soon Louis found himself shopping for back to school supplies with Evan and Logan so they could pick them themselves. While they browsed the store for coloring supplies Louis literally felt like he was going to have a heat stroke inside the store internally groaning just by thinking about the hot August weather outside. He felt bad for Harry who had to work outside in that weather.

"Baby, you only need one box of crayons. It says so on the list." Louis said smiling when Evan put a box back then dropped the other in his section of the basket he had claimed as his.

"Are you okay daddy? You're all sweaty." Logan raised an eyebrow pausing what she had been doing.

"Yeah I'm fine, its just too hot." Louis complained.

Logan nodded then went back to looking for new color pencils while Louis allowed Evan to buy a Marvel coloring book feeling his phone vibrating. He smiled when he saw it was Gemma, she had been calling him a lot more lately asking for advice and other things relating pregnancy.

"How on earth were you able to go through this...and twice! I feel like I'm about to explode and my ankles look like fat lumps. And I can't stop eating." Gemma complained as soon as Louis had answered.

"The satisfaction of getting to hold them after." Louis said not even bothering to greet her.

"That's true, doctor said I might have to have a C Section if she gets any bigger. She's gonna rip me in two! How are you? And Harry and my babies?" Gemma sighed trying to sit back down on the couch.

"We're great! Harry's at work and I'm doing back to school shopping. How about you? How's everybody there?" Louis asked raising an eyebrow at Evan when his son tried to sneak a box of chalks into the basket. He only giggled taking it back out then put the box back in its place.

"Fun. Ashton might get a promotion at the office, mum and dad are doing great and so are your parents and sisters." Gemma said then took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you guys were going to get here before I give birth."

"Of course we are, Harry will be taking a few days off at work around your due date and you said its actually a Saturday so we'll be there by Friday night." Louis said then furrowed his eyebrows when he heard a tiny sniffle.

"Its just...I don't know, I'm scared something might go wrong and I need all of you there. I need you to be there for Harry and mum in case I don't make it." Gemma was now full on crying.

"Gems I know how you're feeling, I went through the same thing with Logan and here I am. There's nothing to worry about and you're only stressing yourself and my niece. You have a great team at the hospital and everything is scheduled for you to deliver a beautiful and healthy baby girl." Louis tried to make her feel better sighing in relief when she calmed down and her cries reduced to hiccups.

"I don't know what I would do without you and mums, you're such a strong and brave man- fück I want a pickle." Gemma got completely distracted trying to get up again and get her pickle making Louis chuckle.

"Everything's going to be okay, just one more month to go and soon you'll have little Hanna in your arms." Louis smiled heading to the check out line making sure his kids were next to him.

"It needs to get here faster. I'm gonna let you go so you can continue with your shopping, give my babies and Harry a big kiss and hug for me. I'll talk to you later, Lou."

"Yeah, call me if you need something or just want to talk."

After Louis was sure he had everything he drove straight to Green Park where Harry had told him he would be for a photoshoot. When he got there he took his time to unbuckle Evan out of his car seat while Logan waited patiently still inside the car like she was supposed to.

He looked around and wanted to laugh when he saw Harry looking as uncomfortable as ever with a blond bimbo clinging to him like a leech. He adjusted Harry's shirt around his belly then picked up Evan shutting the door as soon as Logan was by his side then made his way there smirking when he saw the relief in Harry's eyes as soon as he had seen him.

"Uh, excuse me." Harry lightly pushed her away and Louis wanted to grab her by her extensions and drag her all over the park when she only tightened her grip around Harry's neck.

"Babe, we came to see you." Louis spoke getting her attention then wrapped an arm around Harry's waist kissing his lips as soon as Harry had escaped her claws and had rushed over to them hugging all three.

"I missed you. Hi buddy, hi sweetheart!" Harry held Evan then kissed the top of Logan's head wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"You must be the boyfriend." Blond bimbo said eyeing him up and down then her eyes focused on Evan and Logan before she rolled them.

"I'm actually his husband." Louis was quick to show her his wedding band.

"Figured, they only keep popping out one after the other." She said before she walked away to get her make up redone.

"Bitch. At least I don't look like a damn clown." Louis muttered as he wrapped his arms around his stomach already feeling self conscious at the amount of weight he had put on after weeks of only staying home and eating his body weight in junk food.

"Bitch!'

Louis groaned then turned around as soon as he heard his son repeating what he had said, he took him back into his arms heading to one of the canopy tents to protect them from the sun. Once he was there he grabbed a water bottle then sat down on a chair already exhausted with Evan on his lap glad that his son was hiding his fatness.

"I don't want you repeating that or Santa's not going to bring you any presents this Christmas." Louis told his son who nodded with wide eyes before he let him go to explore the place with Logan.

"Don't listen to her Lou, she's a cunt." Harry said taking a seat next to Louis who raised his eyebrows at Harry's choice of words.

"She wishes she was popping out your kids. I'd like to see her try, the bitch won't even make it past the fourth month mark." Louis rolled his eyes then got up to sit on Harry's lap glad that he had done so when he saw blond bimbo looking at them.

"In her dreams." Harry chuckled booping Louis' cute button nose then looked down at what Louis was wearing. "All you wear now are my shirts, you look sexy and cute, all at the same time."

"They smell like you." Louis shrugged then stopped Harry from wrapping his arm around his stomach.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked with worry.

"Nothing, its just too hot and I'm already sweating like a pig." Louis explained going back to his seat but not before kissing him.

"I gotta head back and get this over with, I can't stand her." Harry groaned then got up followed by Louis.

"I'll see you later today at home." Louis wrapped his arms around his waist.

They kissed again then Louis left with the kids stopping at the store to get ingredients so he could make something healthy for his family to eat. When they got home he gave Evan a bath then waited for Logan to finish showering so he could do the same not wanting to leave Evan on his own.

He could hear the tv booming loudly in the keeping room as he made his way to the bathroom quickly closing and locking the door before the cat could sneak in. He took his clothes off then headed for the shower stopping right in front of the mirror looking at the bump in between his hips not even daring to touch it as his eyes began stinging with tears. After a few minutes he finally gathered enough courage and lifted his hand up towards it running it through the smooth and warm skin.

"No, not now." Louis mumbled as he poked it feeling how firm it already was. "Why now..."

He took a deep breath then got in the shower letting the warm water relax his muscles and wash away the stickiness off of his skin. He felt a shiver running down his spine as the fear began taking over his body deciding that it was best to keep things to himself not wanting to hurt again and hurt Harry and their children. It was better to leave things as they were, it was better not to know a thing and just let things take its course whether it was for the good or the bad.

No one had to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	10. And in this perfect weather, it's like we don't remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it was a bit rushed yet its still long. Enjoy! :)

Louis paced back and forth in Logan's and Evan's bathroom as he waited for the timer to go off, he paused to look at the six pregnancy tests laying on top of a towel on the countertop as if they had ebola. When the timer finally went off after what to him felt like an eternity he took a seat on top of the toilet lid and without looking turned them over. He let out a heavy sigh when all six of them showed a little plus sign then sat there just staring at his feet until Logan knocked on the door.

It had been a week since that day and not knowing exactly how far along he was was torturing, but since he was already showing he was pretty sure it was more than two months. He picked up the tests putting them in a plastic bag along with the boxes then washed his hands and after drying them he opened the door to see Logan laying on her bed reading a book.

"You need something, sweetheart?" Louis asked hiding the bag behind his back.

"You left your phone in the kitchen and uncle Niall called, wants you to call him back." Logan said giving him his phone.

"Okay." Louis said then walked out of her room and into Evan's to check on him.

He was still out cold after spending all day outside playing with Buttercup while Fitzgerald had spent it on Louis' lap. He made his way downstairs kicking toys out of his way too lazy to pick them up and while he got rid of the bag throwing it in the trashcans outside he called Niall back.

"Oh Louis thank god, please tell me you don't have anything else to do for the rest of the afternoon." Niall said sound breathlessly making Louis frown in confusion.

"I don't actually. Do you need something?" Louis asked.

"Could you please watch my kids until Zayn gets back, he's at a meeting and I just got called in for work. Something went wrong and they need me and I really can't take them with me this time." Niall said as he ran around the house packing a small bag for them.

"Of course, bring them over. I haven't seen them in forever." Louis walked back inside the house.

"Thank you!" Niall said then hung up.

Louis busied himself tidying up the playroom then walked back upstairs when he heard Niall shouting his name carrying a child on each hip, he set them down in the middle of the kitchen giving the bag to Louis.

"Thank you so much Louis, if I'm not here by dinner time Zayn will pick them up. You just saved my ass, I'll see you later. I love you babies, be good for uncle Louis." Niall bent down to give them each a kiss on the cheek then ran out muttering about being late.

Both kids stared at Louis until Jeremy giggled running to him hugging his legs with Chloe doing the same a few seconds later. Louis squatted down to hug them then picked them up taking them to the keeping room.

"How about we watch cartoons until Evan wakes up." Louis suggested not even flinching when Fitzgerald jumped into his lap as soon as he had sat down already used to it.

Half an hour later Logan walked in holding hands with a still sleepy Evan letting go as soon as she saw Chloe, she was quick to give her all her attention while Evan and Jeremy played with Buttercup. He spent the rest of his day playing with the kids then started dinner always keeping an eye on the kids until he felt tiny hands tugging on his shirt.

"Water, please." Chloe looked up at him patiently waiting for her water.

"Sure pumpkin." Louis said as he filled a sippy cup with water then gave it to her watching her drink it until she was satisfied then gave it back to him just as Niall walked through the door.

"I am back! Had to fire a few people though." Niall said.

"What happened?" Louis asked.

"Idiots can't do their job right. How were they, were they good?"

"Angels like always." Louis grinned then went serious all of a sudden thinking that it was now or never. "Are you working tomorrow?"

"No, my week off isn't over yet. Why?" Niall sat down on a barstool after stealing a piece of cooked chicken

"Hi uncle Niall!" Logan rushed over to him to give him a hug and a kiss interrupting Louis.

"Hi monster, how have you been?"

"Great!" Logan smiled then walked back to watch cartoons with the rest.

"I have some errands to run and I was wondering if you could watch the kids for me, its only for like an hour or two." Louis gave him a hopeful look suddenly glad that he was wearing one of Harry's oversized shirts.

"Sure! What are you gonna do?" Niall raised an eyebrow.

"Just have to pick up some stuff here and there." Louis lied.

"Okay, so...how far along are you?" Niall casually asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"I've been pregnant too you know, plus you never wear Harry's oversized shirts unless you're going to bed. Does Harry know?"

"No, and I'm not going to tell him until I'm sure this one's healthy and staying in there until its ready to come out because if it turns out like the last one then he's better off not knowing. I still have to make an appointment, I was hoping she'll see me without one." Louis shrugged.

"I'm sure everything's fine Louis, you're already showing. Here, I'll make an appointment for you right now." Niall said taking his phone out from his back pocket.

Louis focused on the food while Niall scheduled an appointment for him not looking at him until Niall hung up. He took the small piece of paper Niall gave him seeing it was the following day at ten, he hid it under a flower vase thanking Niall.

"I can go with you if you want to, Zayn can stay with the kids." Niall gently said.

"You would do that?" Louis asked sounding so vulnerable and frightened it made Niall's chest hurt.

"Of course silly, you're my friend and I wouldn't leave you alone." Niall got up to hug him rubbing his back when Louis sniffled.

"I'm scared, so scared. I wasn't going to tell anyone and just leave it like that but I need to take care of myself and this baby." Louis continued.

"But are you okay? How are you feeling?" Niall pulled back.

"I'm just scared of losing it like I lost the other one, I won't be able to take it if something happens to this baby or even if something's wrong with it." By then Louis was full on crying only calming down after a few minutes.  
"Both of you will be fine. I gotta go but I'll pick you up tomorrow, try not to stress too much." Niall patted his baby bump before he grabbed his kids letting them say goodbye then left.

The following morning Louis was awake by the time Harry was letting the kids sleep a little longer since there was no reason to wake them up at seven in the morning. He was still in bed watching Harry getting ready wrapping the blankets tighter around him when Harry got closer to keep him from noticing how big he was getting.

"I'm gonna go now, love you." Harry kissed his forehead then his lips before he grabbed his bag.

"Love you too." Louis smiled.

Once Harry was gone he got up to take a shower taking his time to wash up and when he was done he changed into a pair of jeans already feeling them too tight and after looking for a top he ended up wearing one of Harry's shirts when his were too tight around his belly. He made breakfast and soon enough he was on his way to Niall's house who didn't give Zayn much time to ask questions.

"Hey, everything's going to be okay." Niall reassured him as he drove towards Dr. Lane's office.

Louis waited while Niall checked him in then ignored everything around him until he was called in and after the usual routine he was left alone with Niall waiting for Dr. Lane. He couldn't help but rub small circles on a small spot on the side of his stomach begging whatever high power up there for his baby to be okay hearing a knock on the door.

"Hello!" Dr. Lane greeted them, her eyes immediately wandering down to Louis' belly.

"Hi!" Niall smiled.

"Hi." Louis waved at her. "So...I'm knocked up, again."

"I have your file right here so why don't you lay down on the table so I can see how the baby's doing." Dr. Lane gave him a reassuring smile that made him feel better.

Louis did as he was told lifting his shirt up on his way up and as soon as he was settled down he didn't even flinch when he felt the cold gel. He looked away from the monitor as soon as he felt the wand seeing Niall too focused on it and it only made him more nervous.

"Found it." Dr. Lane said looking at Louis expecting him to already be looking before she began checking how it was doing smiling when she noticed it.

"What is it?" Niall asked while Louis fought the urge to look fearing the worst.

"Lou, why don't you take a look." Dr. Lane froze the image not wanting it to disappear.

"Is it- is it okay?"

"Your babies are perfectly fine, they're healthy, I still need to do some tests but as far as I can tell they're okay."

"Babies? As in two?" Louis looked at her with wide and teary eyes feeling a lump in his throat.

"Yeah, twins. Congratulations." Dr. Lane smiled while all Louis had eyes for was the image of his two babies.

"How far along is he?" Niall asked reaching to hold Louis' hand.

"Just entered his ninth week and they are fraternal. Separate bags." Dr. Lane confirmed then unfroze the image about to ask Louis if he wanted to hear the heartbeats smiling when Louis nodded before she could ask.

Two fast heartbeats filled the room forcing Louis to put a hand over his mouth trying not to embarrass himself and keep the sobs in. He smiled a little just by thinking that in seven months or so he'll have not one but two babies in his arms, he was getting another chance and he promised to himself to do everything in his power to keep his babies healthy.

"I'm going to print a few pictures then discuss some things." Dr. Lane removed the wand giving Louis a towel to wipe the gel off. "I want to see you in a week to do a few tests and make sure everything's going alright. Don't worry Louis, your babies are completely fine, they have a strong heartbeat."

She gave him prenatal vitamins and a manila envelope with a few ultrasound pictures that he couldn't stop looking at while Niall scheduled another appointment for him. He stayed quiet on their way home until Niall lowered down the volume on the radio stopping at a red light before he turned to look at Louis.

"New babies, I'm excited." Niall smiled already excited.

"I was still on birth control...he pulled out" Louis sighed.

"They did say they don't work as well on males, they lower the chance but not that much and you'd still end up pregnant. That's what happened with Zayn and I when we stopped trying and it was hard for me to actually get pregnant. That's how you ended up pregnant and the pulling out method sucks." Niall said.

"But I was on birth control." Louis insisted like a teenager.

"You're fertile as heck, Louis. It was obvious that you were going to get pregnant the moment you decided to do it without a condom." Niall said giving him a duh look.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Louis put the pictures down on his lap turning his body around to fully look at Niall who was now concentrating on the road.

"That you can make babies like nobody's business, c'mon Louis, admit it." Niall poked his arm. "But this time you doubled the production."

"Well I'm glad we did it without a condom, I'm getting two babies." Louis happily sighed.

"And I'm really happy for you. Are you going to tell Harry tonight?" Niall asked.

"Yeah, I think he's going to be thrilled." Louis smiled.

"He will." Niall nodded.

When they got to Niall's house Louis wasted no time on saying a quick hello to Zayn then took his kids to go back home and think about how was he going to tell Harry. After lunch he decided to get new clothes buying a few more for Logan and Evan since their jeans were getting a bit short. When they got home he felt giddy when he saw Harry's car already parked on its usual spot and as soon as he walked in he could smell the food Harry was cooking.

"Hi love, were have you been?" Harry asked as he chopped vegetables trying not to step on Fitzgerald every time he walked around to get things he needed.

"We went shopping and I have great news." Louis walked up to him kissing his cheek on his way to drop the bags by the kitchen table.

"I have something to tell you too but they might not be as great as yours. What do you have to tell me?" Harry said making Louis a little nervous.

"You can tell me first." Louis insisted making his way to stand in front of him.

"One of the magazines I work with is having a campaign in Germany and they need me there until they finish it." Harry explained.

"Okay. It won't be for long, right?" Louis asked hoping for a no.

"That's the problem babe, the pay is great but I'm gonna have to be away for four weeks, almost a month and I honestly don't feel comfortable leaving you alone. I leave in two days." Harry sighed watching the way Louis' hands were shaking then grabbed them kissing the top of both of them.

"Do you really have to go?" Louis asked.

"I'm under a contract, I have to go. But don't worry because I'm gonna call you everyday and we can Skype and before you know it I'll be back." Harry was quick to hug him.

"What about Gemma? She wants us there when she gives birth." Louis bit his bottom lip.

"I'll be back by then, that's if Hanna waits." Harry chuckled trying to lighten up the mood kissing Louis' forehead when he smiled a little.

"Okay, but you better call me every day and Skype at least twice a week. We're gonna miss you." Louis said.

"Of course, now what's the great news you have?" Harry asked.

Louis gulped debating whether he should tell him now or wait until he was back but after all they had gone through he couldn't keep things from him anymore.

"When you get back we're gonna have to buy baby furniture." Louis slowly started smiling and tracing circles on Harry's chest seeing how stunned he had gotten.

"You're gonna be a daddy again." Louis continued when Harry said nothing.

"You mean..." Harry trailed off when Louis nodded then lifted two fingers up confusing him for a bit until he got it and smiled like a fool even though his eyes were already filled with unshed tears.

"Twins, that's why I'm already showing earlier than usual." Louis chuckled when Harry's eyes immediately trailed down to his belly then bent down lifting the shirt up.

"How far along are you? Are they identical or...?" Harry asked placing his hands on either side then rubbed small circles with his thumbs feeling the small goosebumps forming on the skin.

"Fraternal and nine weeks. I have pictures." Louis said heading towards the kitchen table as soon as Harry had let him go to look for the envelope.

Harry took the pictures from him and started searching for them finding them easily since they were labeled as baby A and baby B. He observed them for a while until Logan walked in to get an apple seeing them standing close to each other smiling like they hadn't done in a while.

"What's going on?" She asked taking them by surprise.

They looked at each other wondering if they should tell her about her new siblings but when Louis mouthed for them to wait Harry nodded agreeing with him. Harry put the pictures back in the envelope then gave it to Louis before he made his way to Logan hugging her and hearing Evan cooing at Buttercup.

"We have something to tell you both, please go get your brother." Harry said then kissed the top of her head before she let her go.

Minutes later they were sitting around the kitchen table after Louis had sent them to wash their hands so they could eat dinner. Logan was waiting for them to say something while Evan was busy eating the broccoli or the tiny trees like he liked to call them too focused on them to pay his parents any attention.

"So I'm going to Germany for work in two days and I'm gonna be gone for four weeks. Now, while I'm gone I need you both to be in your best behavior and listen to daddy and maybe help him around a little." Harry informed them watching Evan looking at him with wide eyes.

"You coming back, daddy?" He asked while Logan eyed him wondering the same.

"Of course I'm coming back buddy, I'm just gonna be gone for a few weeks but I promise to call you everyday." Harry promised him seeing the worry in his blue eyes disappearing.

"Are you coming back before auntie Gemma has her baby?" Logan asked.

"I will, I'm not gonna miss it." Harry reassured her seeing her nod and smile before going back to her food making a face at the broccoli but eating it nonetheless.

The two days passed by faster than they would've liked and soon Harry had his bags already packed and in the car while Louis drove him to the airport and their two children were in the back. He was glad Louis had insisted on driving him because now he was getting to spend a little bit more time together with them.

Harry had scolded Louis the moment he had tried to get his heavy luggage out of the car telling him he couldn't go around lifting heavy things now that he was pregnant with not one but two babies. Louis had rolled his eyes when Harry told him he had made sure Zayn and Niall would be there whenever they could to help him around.

"I'm going to miss all of you and I promise to call as soon as I get there. I love you." Harry hugged all three of them before he absolutely had to go.

"Love you too." Louis smiled hearing the kids telling their dad their I love you's before Harry let go and with one last kiss to them left.

As soon as he was out of sight Louis left the airport going straight home already missing him but busied himself getting everything ready for the first day of school the following day which was a Monday. Harry had left by ten in the morning and by eight at night just when Evan had gone to bed he finally called making Louis run to get the phone while Logan stared.

"Harry?" 

"Hi love, I just checked in at the hotel, sorry for not calling earlier." 

"No, that's okay. I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Me too, are the kids asleep?" Harry asked.

"Evan is and Logan is here. Do you want to say goodnight?" 

"Yeah, I love you Lou and I'll call you tomorrow. I don't know when but I will." Harry said.

"Love you more." Louis smiled then gave the phone to Logan. "Daddy wants to say goodnight."

Logan smiled taking the phone then got up to walk as she talked while Louis finished what he had been doing. She walked back into the kitchen a few minutes later just as Louis was putting everything in his bag.

"You still have to take a shower love. Why don't you go ahead while I make some popcorn so we can watch a movie." Louis suggested.

"Okay! But don't start it without me." Logan said running to her bathroom to shower.

They ended up watching Frozen and if Louis cried when Anna sacrificed herself for Elsa he blamed it on the hormones, when it was almost ten they went to bed where Louis woke up in the middle of the night feeling a tiny body pressed up against him. He moved around trying to find a comfortable position until Logan walked in and went back to sleep on Harry's spot. The next morning Louis was up bright and early doing many things at once. He had received a good morning call from Harry while he made breakfast and an hour later they were finally out of the house on their way to school.

~*~

Two weeks after Harry had left Louis was already eleven weeks and only kept getting bigger and bigger never complaining once just happy to know that his babies were doing great. He had taken Niall with him to his last appointment having emailed Harry new scans and at the moment he was sitting on a barstool in the kitchen with his laptop in front of him waiting for Harry's call. Both Logan and Evan were already in bed by the time his call came through and he hurried up to answer. The first thing he saw was a very tan and shirtless Harry then the plate of food sitting there, he had his hair tied back into a ponytail and as far as Louis could see the bed was a complete mess.

"Hi love, I got the scans, they're getting bigger." Harry smiled getting closer to the screen.

"Yeah, just a few more weeks then we'll be able to find out the sex. I hope they're one of each." Louis dreamily sighed rubbing small circles on the top of his tummy where Harry could see it.

"I just want a girl." Harry said then grinned making Louis chuckle knowing what was coming. "Can I see it?"

Louis only nodded and got up before lifting his shirt up to show him his belly seeing the way Harry completely lit up just by seeing it.

"I think they're gonna be big babies." Louis commented and seconds later pulled his shirt down sitting back down just as Fitzgerald walked up to him on top of the countertop making Louis wonder how had he gotten up there but pull him into his lap anyway.

"Hi boy, you're getting so big." Harry talked to the cat who purred when Louis started petting him.

"He sleeps under the bed now since the kids started sleeping with me, they miss you and can't wait for you to get home." Louis continued what he was doing then with his other hand started rubbing circles on his tummy.

"Just two more weeks, maybe one if we focus more." Harry sighed already itching to go home and get a full night sleep cuddled up next to Louis.

"Focus!' Louis chuckled and seconds later Harry laughed.

They continued talking about their day until Louis started getting sleepy and Harry let him go with an I love you and a goodnight. 

Almost two weeks later Louis was a mess trying to at least make the house look presentable but with a belly on the way he found it a bit harder. He felt as if everything was chaos around him hearing the kids somewhere in the house running around and screaming as well as Buttercup's barks. He groaned when he dropped a can full of sweet kernel corn just wishing for Harry to get there fast feeling like crying wondering what it was going to be like with two more kids in the house.

He squatted down to pick it up just as Evan started crying and his phone went off making him get up as fast as he could thinking it was Harry but when he saw it was Anne he started getting worried.

"Hello?" Louis answered hearing Evan's cries getting closer until he was standing in front of him wanting him to pick him up and Logan looked between the two with a nervous expression.

"Hi love, what's going on?" Anne asked.

"I think Evan just fell, nothing big. How's everyone back home?" Louis asked grabbing Evan by the hand then took a seat on one of the chairs at the table pulling Evan on his lap to inspect his knee.

"I know Harry doesn't get home in two more days but Gemma's in labour, I just want to let you know." Anne nervously chuckled.

"How's she doing? Is she getting a C Section?" Louis asked as he hugged Evan close to him sighing in relief when he stopped crying and snuggled up to him placing his tiny hand on top of his belly before he looked at it with furrowed eyebrows then went back to hug him.

"No, she's pushing her out and refuses to get the epidural, doesn't want Hanna to be drugged." Anne's voice trembled.  
"Don't worry mum, she's a strong and brave girl and I think she'll be fine. The kids and I are on our way, okay?" Louis got up setting Evan down ignoring the mess in the kitchen in favor of packing their bags to get there on time.

"We'll be waiting sweetheart, call me when you get to your mum's house." Anne said feeling a bit better.

"I will." Louis said before hanging up then looked at Logan seeing her comforting Evan. "Auntie Gemma's having her baby and we need to pack and go there."   
He sent her up to pack a few things trusting her with her choices as he walked around his closet looking for the new clothes he had gotten a week earlier while trying to contact Harry. Once he was finished he moved on to packing Evan's bag only to see Logan had already done so. He checked to make sure they had everything and kissed her forehead thanking her before ushering them downstairs as he turned lights off.

He had just placed their bags in the trunk of his car while the kids waited there when he heard someone opening the front door managing to scare him knowing he had locked it. He grabbed a baseball bat Harry had gotten a few years earlier and made his way to the front door ready to fight whoever was there. He expected to see an ugly burglar but instead all he saw was Harry putting his bags inside the house then closed the door turning around to see Louis standing there with a baseball bat in his hands. His eyes immediately trailed down to his belly that was much bigger than the last time he had seen it.

"Were you gonna hit me?" Harry said a bit startled then opened his arms just as Louis dropped his weapon and ran to him hugging and kissing him.

"You're back! You weren't supposed to get here until Monday night." Louis clung to him then pulled back when Harry did.

He got on his knees and started kissing all over his tummy making Louis smile like a fool then got up to kiss him again.

"Look at you! You look beautiful, you're glowing already." Harry said kissing all over his face and that's when Louis remembered.

"We need to go to Doncaster, our stuff is already in the car and the kids are waiting there." Louis said as he pulled Harry with him.  
"What? Why?"

"Gemma went into labour and I told your mum we would try and get there on time, grab your bags, we're leaving." Louis demanded walking towards the garage opening the door then got in the car to start it while Harry shoved his bags along with the rest.

"Daddy!" Both Logan and Evan screamed.

Harry opened the door on Evan's side to hug him then hugged Logan when she unbuckled herself just to do so. After many hugs and kisses Harry rushed to the passengers side letting Louis drive since he was still a bit tired from his trip. 

Three hours later Louis parked in front of Anne's house worried out of his mind that Gemma had probably already given birth without them there. He got the cat and the dog letting Harry grab their bags as he made his way to his mum's house while he kids stayed behind with Harry. The door opened before he had even gotten there then Phoebe ran out to hug him stopping when she saw him, he stopped right in front of her just as the rest of his sisters except Lottie who was in Manchester for college walked out stopping when they saw him.

"You're pregnant...and you got a cat too." Fizzy said still a bit stunned while Daisy and Phoebe stared.

"Surprise! They're twins." Louis said dropping both bombs at the same time chuckling when they all hugged him and rubbed his belly. "Logan and Evan still haven't figured it out so please don't mention it to them." 

"Of course not." Fizzy let go of him to hug Harry then the kids followed by the twins.

"Is mum in the hospital with Anne?" Louis asked them giving the cat to Logan and the dog's leash to Daisy.

"Yeah, Gemma was here when she went into labour, she hasn't had her baby yet so if you want to go you better hurry up. I'll take care of your kids." Fizzy said.

"Thank you, you're an angel baby sister." Louis sighed.

He let Harry put their bags in the usual rooms they stayed in when visiting then left to the hospital getting there in record time. After calling Anne they made their way to the third floor then to room 312 knocking on the door, they walked in when they heard a muffled come in getting greeted by Gemma herself, Ashton and their mums whose eyes immediately wandered down to his belly.

"Oh my gosh, look at you baby!" Jay got up from the sofa running to Louis hugging him tight then pulled back to rub his tummy already a crying mess.

"Surprise!" Louis exclaimed then made his way to Gemma hugging Anne on his way there.

"Sweetheart you're glowing." Anne gave her a watery smile just by seeing her daughter about to have her first baby and his son's husband who she considered her own, pregnant again after everything.

"Thank god you're both here Lou, congratulations." Gemma hugged him then let go as she squirmed trying not to scream.

"Almost there?" Louis asked her knowing what she was going through.

"Last time the doctor checked I was seven centimeters dilated, and it was like an hour ago and the contractions are so close together." Gemma said taking deep breaths.

"You ready?" Louis asked a pale Ashton.

"I am, can't wait to meet her." He smiled even though both Louis and Harry could see he was a little nervous.

"Congratulations Gems." Harry hugged her then pulled back rubbing the back of his head after Gemma had smacked him.

"You're so mean, I thought you were still in Germany." Gemma teared up then hugged him again.

"I got home just when Louis was leaving, but I'm here now so focus on bringing my niece into the world." Harry smiled.

"Why didn't you tells us you knocked Louis up again?" Gemma narrowed her eyes expecting Harry to answer but it was Louis who did.

"We wanted to wait until we were sure everything's okay, I'm thirteen weeks and we're expecting twins." Louis said happier than ever smiling when Anne and Jay rushed to hug him.

He could see Ashton congratulating Harry then thanked him after he had congratulated him. They were still talking about the babies when a female doctor walked in smiling at them.

"I came to check how far she is." She said making her way over to her.

"We'll wait outside." Harry said grabbing Louis' hand to go outside.

They took a sit on the chairs outside her room where they could still hear their conversation since the door was open, both of them froze when the doctor told her she was ready to have her baby. Seconds later Jay walked out taking the seat Harry gave to her choosing to stand next to Louis by the door. A few nurses walked into the room while Louis braced himself for the screaming somehow glad that he wasn't built to push babies out.

"She chose the epidural last minute, was in too much pain." Jay informed them and Louis' shoulders sagged in relief.

They lost track of time hearing Gemma cussing Ashton out a few many times until she screamed one last time after being told the epidural hadn't completely numb her and then they heard them. Louis grabbed Harry's hand to keep him from running into the room while they smiled still hearing her sharp cries. They waited outside until Anne walked out with tears in her eyes holding a small bundle of pink blankets with tiny arms peeking out of them.

"This is Hanna, she's gorgeous." Anne said giving her to Harry who was already in tears.

"Gemma?" He asked while observing her niece who had little tufts of dark brown hair at the top of her head and still had her eyes closed.

"Tired, she wanted me to bring her so you could meet her. Doctor is still there, she's a big baby as you can see." Anne gave them a knowing look that had Jay nodding.

"Hi baby, I'm your uncle Harry and this is uncle Louis. You are so precious, yeah you are." Harry cooed and after holding her for a few more minutes she gave her to Louis who was more than happy to hold her.

"Hi sweetheart." Louis gently kissed her tiny forehead already so in love with her. "You look just like your mummy."

While he held her he couldn't help but look forward to having his babies and give them all the love, much more than he was already giving them. He stayed there holding her and only letting his mum hold her when his arms got tired and wanted to see Gemma who looked so exhausted but smiled at him nonetheless. He laughed when she told him he was going to spoil his new babies as much as she did with Logan and Evan with him telling him the same for Hanna. Louis had smiled the entire time while Harry observed him thankful that he was slowly going back to how he used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	11. To be loved and to be in love

Gemma was finally released from the hospital the next day after insisting that she was okay which she was and by Sunday afternoon was back at Anne's house after she had agreed to let her mum help her with her daughter for the first few days. As soon as she had walked through the door holding Hanna in her arms with Ashton not far behind her Logan and Evan as well as Louis' sisters crowded around her wanting to meet the baby.

She let them hold her for a bit going from oldest to youngest until it was just Logan and Evan there and as soon as Hanna was in Logan's arms she had completely fallen in love with her tiny cousin.

"And you named her after daddy Louis?" Logan asked from where she was sitting next to Gemma and Hanna wiggled around in her warm hold.

"Hanna Louise, I think its a pretty name." Gemma smiled at her knowing not to mention that Louis was pregnant.

"A pretty name for a precious baby like her." Logan nodded looking down at her cousin smiling when she had finally opened her dark blue eyes peering back at her. "I love you baby."

She held her for a few more minutes until Evan walked in with Louis following behind watching how his son stopped in front of his sister to look at the baby. The small baby lifted her tiny arm up and Evan was quick to hold it in his hand before Logan could smiling at how tiny her hand was. Louis was worried the moment it was Evan's turn to hold her but was left surprised when he giggled trying not to move too much the moment Gemma set Hanna down in his arms never letting go of her.

Both Louis' and Gemma's hearts warmed up when he kissed her tiny forehead before he gave her back to Gemma to go get the hot chocolate his Nina had promised him since the September almost October weather was already a bit cold.

"I'm coming back auntie Gem, don't go anywhere." Evan said in such a serious and businesslike tone as soon as he was up from his old spot then ran to the kitchen leaving Gemma and Louis chuckling when he stopped in front of Louis, lifted his shirt up and poked his stomach.

"Well...that's unusual." Gemma laughed.

"I know, he's been doing it for a while now." Louis furrowed his brow.

"Come sit." Gemma patted the spot next to her.

"He's already so attached to her." Louis commented taking a seat next to her.

"I'm a bit surprised, he's usually so...so reserved when it comes to other children getting close to us except Niall's twins and Liam's baby." Gemma said letting Louis hold her daughter smiling just by seeing him smiling and seeing his tummy, the way he was so careful around it.

"She's part of the family and a special one, I just hope he behaves like this when the time comes." Louis sighed looking at Gemma.

"He will, just six more weeks or so and you get to find out the sex. I hope there's at least one girl in there." Gemma gently rubbed the side of Louis' tummy.

"Oh me too, for Harry's and Logan's sake I I hope there's a girl in there." Louis smiled then Gemma furrowed her brows when Louis went serious all of a sudden.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I know I shouldn't be complaining when I was blessed with them but I can't help but notice how...big I'm getting, Niall wasn't even this big around this time. I'm just being ridiculous." Louis chuckled.

"You're not being ridiculous Lou, its completely normal but if it makes you feel better you could ask your doctor on your next visit. Harry's a giant so the babies probably inherited that from him." Gemma wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Probably." Louis shrugged.

When it was time for them to go back to London that same afternoon it was all tears from Evan who wanted to stay with Hanna and when Harry had told him he couldn't take her with him his cries only got louder. Almost half an hour later Gemma had managed to calm him down telling him she was going to visit them soon and that she was going to make sure to send him pictures as much as she could.

"Did you convince him? I don't hear him crying anymore." Harry asked with Hanna in his arms leaning against the kitchen counter.

"With the promise of a visit and pictures." Gemma flashed him a smile.

"Which is going to be soon, right?" Harry asked her kissing Hanna's tiny palm when she smacked it against his lips.

"Of course knucklehead." Gemma made his way over to him standing next to him and seconds later rested her head on Harry's right shoulder looking down at her daughter who seemed extremely comfortable in her uncle's hold.

"Mum showed us pictures of you when you were a baby and she looks so much like you, she has more of you than Ashton." Harry commented.

"Logan looks like you too, now we have to wait and see who the other two look like."

"Definitely Louis and you know, I'm pretty sure there's a girl in there." Harry said so sure of himself.

Gemma lifted her head up to look at her brother seeing the way he held her daughter with such delicacy as if one rough movement no matter how small would hurt and break her.

"You really want another baby girl." She stated.

"Logan needs a sister." Harry shrugged and Gemma knew that wasn't the only reason.

"I know you Harry, you're my baby brother and we've been through a lot together. We've always had each other's backs and I know that's not the only reason. I feel like you want a daughter who you can help Louis take care of, who you can hold and watch her take her first steps and say her first words. You just want to give her all the love you couldn't give Logan those first few years of her life." Gemma finished knowing she was right when Harry gave her a sad and pained smile.

"That's only half of it Gems, I also want Logan to have a sister...another female in the house."

"And a female you can dress up in cute tiny dresses and headbands." Gemma chuckled.

"I saw you admiring Hanna's dresses when I was showing Louis." Gemma gave him a smug look.

"Isn't it strange and magical how you can love someone you've never met before? That's what happened with Logan and then Evan, with Logan it was as if nothing else mattered but her the moment I found out about her. I wanted to be in her life so bad, to be her dad and love her, for her to know and love me. Part of me wanted that and part of me didn't want to be like him, I just wanted to love her and let her know that I would and will never stop doing so. Same with Evan and the twins."

By the time Harry was done talking Gemma was in tears feeling a lump in her throat then let her brother hug her remembering him. He kissed Hanna's tiny forehead then gave her back to Gemma sad that he had to go back home already but Louis had to work and the kids had to go to school.

When they made it back home Evan was completely passed out and while Harry carried him to his bed Louis tried to clean the mess he had left in the kitchen. He sent Logan up to take a shower never noticing Harry until he was standing next to him making him jump a little.

"You scared me!" Louis exclaimed with a hand over his chest looking at Harry until he took a step forward and wrapped his arms around him.

"I missed you." Harry mumbled against the crook of Louis' neck cupping the back of his head with his hand, the other on his lower back.

"I missed you too." Louis tried to get closer to his husband smiling when his belly was already getting in the way.

"When's your next appointment? Sucks that I haven't been able to go with you." Harry pulled back still holding Louis' warm and tiny hands in his.

"In two weeks, last one was three weeks ago and I'm hoping to find out what we're having after this next one." Louis smiled just at the thought of seeing his babies again letting Harry guide him to the keeping room forgetting about the mess in the kitchen.

He sat down with Harry next to him sighing in content when he wrapped one arm around his shoulders and rubbed circles on the side of his stomach with the other. He waited for him to tell him how big he was getting but when Harry said nothing and instead reached down to kiss it twice he only smiled.

"As soon as we know we need to clear out one of the bedrooms and buy everything they're going to need." Harry said then sat up pulling Louis forward to rest his head on his chest.

"We should tell the kids as soon as we know the sex so they know what to expect." Louis suggested getting a quick nod from Harry.

They stayed on the couch hugging and just spending a bit of time with each other until Logan walked in to kiss them goodnight. After insisting, Louis let Harry clean the kitchen while he showered and when he was done Harry had just finished mopping the floors not wanting to leave it like that.

Harry felt so much better after showering and an hour later after they had gone to bed he made love to Louis always being careful not to hurt him. Louis fell asleep soon after with a content expression not waking up once until his alarm went off and by then Harry was already up making a nice breakfast for him just wanting his husband and kids to start the day with a healthy breakfast.

~*~

"You know what's funny?" Louis paused what he was doing to look at Harry who sitting next to him around the kitchen table and was busy paying bills.

It had been a week ever since Harry had gotten back from his trip and Louis was set on not letting him go anywhere out of the country or even to the store feeling extremely clingy.

"What?" Harry gave him all his attention while Logan and Evan watched TV in the keeping room.

"That I didn't get morning sickness at all, this is fantastic 'cause I hate puking!" Louis exclaimed looking so cute in his brand new soft and warm blue sweater.

They had gone shopping again making sure to buy bigger clothes so Louis wouldn't have to take that many trips. He had already let the school know he was pregnant and would be on maternity leave earlier than usual since he was carrying twins. They had assured him the job was still his since he was the best teacher and the kids absolutely loved him and the parents were happy with him.

"That's excellent, I feel like they're not gonna give you much trouble." Harry smiled reaching down to rub Louis' belly quickly looking in the direction of the keeping room when loud music started playing.

_She might have let you hold her hand in school_

_But I’mma show you how to graduate_

_No, I don’t need to hear you talk the talk_

_Just come and show me what your Momma gave (Oh yeah)_

_You've_ _got a very big shh_

_Mouth but don’t say a thing_

_See anybody could be good to you,_

_You need a bad girl to blow your mind_

Harry was out of his seat faster than Louis had ever seen him move as he tried to get up seeing him walking there while Logan stood in the middle of the room shaking her hips from side to side and Evan was next to her with his hands on his hips moving them in circles. When he finally made it there Harry had the remote in his hand turning the TV off making everything go silent again and Logan look at him with a surprised yet angry expression.

"Hey, I was watching the music video!" She exclaimed with her hands on her hips expecting him to turn it back on.

"You're not allowed to listen to that garbage, you're nine years old for god's sake." Harry argued completely horrified.

"So? I'm not a baby, I can listen to whatever I want." Logan glared at him.

Louis rubbed his hands on his face deciding that she had spent way too much time with his sisters as she and Harry argued back and forth. Evan silently made his way to him hiding his face on his stomach where he was quick to wrap his arms around him seeing his tiny hands holding onto the sides of his sweater until Harry shouted that she was grounded for eternity. They both watched her walking out of there with her arms crossed over her chest and minutes later heard her door slamming closed.

"Is she nine or sixteen?" Harry incredulously asked still looking the way she had gone to.

"Spent too much time with my sisters, you know how they are." Louis sighed bending down to pick Evan up ignoring Harry's looks. "He doesn't weigh that much." Louis said hugging his son close to him smiling when he wrapped his tiny arms around his neck.

"I know but I still don't want you to unless you're sitting, you're delicate at the moment." Harry made his way to them hugging them yet Louis knew he was upset.

"Want me to go talk to her?" Louis offered.

"Let her cool off a little bit and then I'll go talk to her later." Harry sighed.

"You're such a dad." Louis chuckled kissing the side of Evan's head.

"I know, but that stuff is inappropriate for kids her age. Next thing you know she'll want to wear cropped tops and mini skirts." Harry huffed rather adorably and all Louis could do was coo at him and hug him.

Later turned out to be late at night when Logan ignored Harry throughout dinner until they were already in bed watching TV since lately it helped Louis get sleepy faster than usual. They were both already falling asleep when they heard a knock on the door then seconds later it opened barely making out the dark figure they knew so well.

"Is there something wrong, sweetheart?" Louis lifted his head up ready to get up sensing her distress.

"I'm sorry." She whimpered before she jumped onto the bed and on top of Harry hiding her face on his chest where she started crying.

Harry was quick to wrap his arms around her then rubbed her back when she wouldn't stop crying until she did then shyly looked up at him. Harry had a tissue ready to wipe her face doing so surprised when she didn't complained about him babying her.

"I'm sorry daddy, I didn't mean it." Logan hiccuped trying to get under the covers while Louis watched them with a tiny smile then got up to the bathroom feeling seconds away from wetting the bed seeing Logan staring at his belly.

"Its okay love, I shouldn't have turned the TV off like that." Harry kissed the top of her head seeing Louis close the bathroom door after himself.

"Its okay daddy, I don't even like the song." Logan shrugged making him laugh then minutes later Louis came out of the bathroom and went back to his spot.

"You're going back to bed?" Louis asked her getting a nod from her.

"Goodnight love." Harry kissed her cheek.

"Goodnight sweetheart." Louis murmured already half asleep.

"Goodnight daddies." Logan smiled kissing them then stopped as if debating what to do next then out of nowhere kissed Louis' belly. "Goodnight baby."

They stayed quiet after she had left then Louis sighed rather loudly turning around to face Harry, "Guess it isn't a secret anymore."

"She's so smart...all those neurons." Harry proudly said making Louis look at him with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not exactly hiding it Harold, I'm already so big. Even Evan knows something's up, he pokes it every time he walks by." Louis said and seconds later giggled just by remembering.

"He's so smart too." Harry continued.

"Its all that healthy shit you feed us." Louis rolled his eyes.

Harry smiled pulling Louis closer to him then turned the TV off falling asleep minutes after Louis did murmuring a 'goodnight' before closing his eyes.

~*~

The day of Louis' appointment Harry had dropped the kids off at school letting Louis sleep longer and once he was back he made sure to make a healthy breakfast for him going for a shower after while Louis continued sleeping. A few minutes later Louis woke up looking around before getting up and going to the bathroom not caring that Harry was in there taking a shower. He decided to take a shower again even though he had taken one the night before having to squat down to pick up the towel he had dropped sensing Harry behind him.

"Louis?" Harry said in a worried tone catching Louis' attention.

"Yeah?" Louis said getting up and turning around to look at him seeing he had his eyes fixed on his lower half. "What's wrong?"

"You're, L- Louis you're bleeding." Harry's voice trembled and it was enough to make Louis panic as he tried to look at it through the mirror.

His eyes quickly filled with tears seeing the spots of blood on the back of his pajamas and before he could even move Harry was already on the phone changing into clean clothes as he talked. He had to dress Louis himself when he couldn't even move before he grabbed a new pair of sweatpants and underwear then led him to the car ignoring the breakfast he had prepared for both of them.

By the time they made it to the hospital and into Dr. Lane's office Louis was a crying mess clinging to Harry as they walked straight into one of the rooms. He changed into a hospital gown trying not to freak out when Harry was told to wait outside while they did a few tests then was allowed back in to wait for the results and an ultrasound.

"What if- What if I already lost them." Louis mumbled trying not to move too much in the hospital bed he was laying on.

"Don't say that Lou." Harry kissed his hand then started rubbing circles on top of it with his thumb, both of them looking up towards the door when they heard a knock.

"Good news! Your babies are completely fine, the bleeding was caused due that your levels of Estrogen are through the roof, it usually happens with multiples and when there's at least a little girl in there. The uterus has to get rid of some of the lining around it." Dr. Lane explained getting the ultrasound machine ready.

"A girl?" Louis perked up at that finally able to relax knowing that his babies were fine.

"We can't know for sure yet, sometimes its just because you're carrying multiples like I said but give it at least a month. Ready?" She smiled.

When Louis nodded she poured the cold gel on his belly mumbling a quiet sorry when Louis flinched then focused on finding the babies furrowing her brow in the process.

"Oh, well that's a surprise." Dr. Lane mumbled.

"Is there something wrong?" Harry asked tightening his hold on Louis' hand.

"No, but this little one kept hiding behind their sibling every time I did an ultrasound." She explained pointing at the screen with her finger making them look at it. "See that? That's another baby and by the looks of it you're expecting triplets, two of them identical. Congratulations!"

"Are you serious?" Louis squeaked unable to stop looking at the three babies on the screen.

"I am. Mono-amniotic twins which means they are sharing the same amniotic sac and a singleton." She chuckled seeing Harry looking pale as he stared at the screen.

"Are you sure you can't see the gender yet?" Louis asked unable to wait any longer.

"I can try but I can't promise anything." She said before she started looking and after a few minutes she smiled. "The single baby which is baby A and is bigger than their siblings, I'm about ninety seven percent its a boy. I can't see what the others are due to their position but maybe by your next visit we'll know."

"This is great, another boy!" Louis beamed then looked at Harry who still had yet to speak. "What's wrong? We're gonna have triplets, Harry this is fantastic."

"I know its great babe, I'm just a bit surprised. You said another boy?' Harry finally smiled making Louis chuckle when his voice sounded a bit higher than usual.

"He's a boy." Dr. Lane confirmed before she printed out a few pictures then pushed a button allowing them to listen to their heartbeats.

"No wonder why I'm so big already." Louis commented as he rubbed circles on his belly with his thumb rather lovingly.

"Both baby A and baby B's heartbeats sound excellent, baby C is way smaller than their siblings which is probably why we couldn't see them before but heartbeat is strong. All three of your babies are in excellent condition." She smiled allowing them to see them for a few more minutes then moved the wand away giving Louis a small towel so he could wipe the gel off of his tummy.

"Do you think I'll be able to carry them full term? I've heard triplets are usually delivered earlier but if I'm honest I want to keep them in there as long as possible." Louis bit his bottom lip as he lowered his shirt then sat up with Harry's help letting him help him off the exam table and onto the chair.

"I don't recommend it, multiples when it comes to a male pregnancy are harder on the carrier. Triplets are usually delivered between twenty nine to thirty two weeks before you or they can develop any health problems." She explained.

"Won't they be too small? I don't feel comfortable delivering them earlier than usual." Louis fiddled with his hands.

"That depends, some triplets do get big around that time and we usually give the parent a steroid shot before delivery so their lungs can develop a little faster to prevent respiratory issues. We can talk and plan as the pregnancy progresses but for now I don't want you to stress over it, what I do want is for you to gain a little bit more weight. People carrying triplets usually gain fifty to sixty pounds and at the moment you're a little bit underweight." Dr. Lane explained smiling when Louis' eyes widened.

"More? I thought I was already overweight." Louis looked down at his feet feeling Harry's warm hands on his shoulders.

"We want the babies to get all the nutrients necessary for growth and development." She chuckled frowning when he noticed Harry's worried looks. "Is there something you'd like to know, Harry?"

"Just...they're going to be okay, right? All four of them?" Harry asked just as Louis grabbed his hands holding them in his warm and smaller ones.

"With the right care they will be...I know you're worried about the LCA but I just want to let you know that since Louis isn't a carrier nor actually has it the chances of these babies being affected by it are lower. We've done more research for the past four years and even if they are carriers they might not have it, I'm sorry I can't give you good news and assure you that they're going to be okay but this is basically something where we have to wait for them to be born to know for sure."

"As long as they're in one piece and healthy it doesn't matter if they can see or not." Harry said trying to accept what could be their fate.

She only smiled as she nodded and after giving them more instructions as well as prenatal vitamins they made their way home in complete silence while Louis had a hand on top of his belly and in the other the manila envelope with the ultrasound pictures. He looked at Harry wondering what in the world was he thinking seeing the way he chewed on his bottom lip then furrowed his brow concentrating way too much for his own good.

"Harry? Is there something wrong?" Louis finally asked breaking the tense silence that had slowly crept in.

"No, everything's fine babe." Harry half smiled before concentrating back on the road not saying anything again until they made it home.

Louis frowned when Harry went straight to his laptop taking a seat on one of the barstools while he busied himself making sandwiches for both of them. When he was done he placed the plates by Harry's laptop as well as two glasses of apple juice then sat down to eat ignoring Harry who was still obsessing over something Louis didn't care about.

"Do you think the bank will let me open up an education savings account for each of the triplets if they are still in your womb?" Harry asked out of nowhere making Louis look at him as if he had three heads.

"What?" Louis slowly put half of his sandwich down then looked at Harry waiting for an explanation.

"You know, like the ones we have for Logan and Evan's college tuition." Harry explained looking up at Louis when he said nothing.

"Harry, we don't even know the sex of two of them and I'm only fifteen weeks pregnant. That's four months." Louis raised a perfect eyebrow.

"I know but I just want to know if its possible." Harry insisted trying to get his laptop back when Louis grabbed it then slammed the lid shut almost cutting Harry's fingers off with it.

"Worry about that when they actually get here and have an actual identity, you're stressing me out and that's not good for the babies." Louis rolled his eyes putting the laptop in a place far away from Harry then pushed the plate towards him.

"I'm sorry, its just that...don't take this the wrong way because you know how much I love all five of our kids but that's three more kids we're going to send off to college in eighteen years. I just want them all to have enough so they can get through college without having to worry about money." Harry looked at Louis with the greenest eyes Louis had ever seen making him tear up.

"Love why are you crying? Louis I didn't-" Harry wrapped his arms around Louis.

"You're just so caring...and you love them so much and just want the best for them." Louis had tears rolling down his slightly chubbier cheeks accepting the box of tissues Harry handed to him.

"I thought you had taken that as an insult." Harry giggled feeling relieved out of nowhere.

"No..." Louis smiled a little picking his sandwich up to finish it motioning for Harry to do the same.

"Do you think we should tell the kids they're gonna have three more siblings when they get back from school or wait until we know the gender of the other two?" Harry asked.

"I think we should tell them now, we can tell them later what the other two are." Louis smiled, his eyes shining as he talked.

As soon as it was time to pick them up Louis waited home taking a seat on the couch in the keeping room with the ultrasound pictures in hand. He started getting nervous the moment he heard a car door slamming shut then the kids voices as well as Harry's getting closer until they walked inside and Evan ran straight to Louis to hug him.

"I missed you lots daddy!" Evan giggled trying to climb on Louis' lap squealing when Fitzgerald jumped into his lap.

"I missed you too baby." Louis wrapped his arms around his tiny waist kissing his cheek.

"Are you going to tell us about the new baby?" Logan took a seat next to him pulling Buttercup with her. "Because I know you're having another baby. Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Its not one baby, its actually three babies." Louis slowly explained looking over at Harry who nodded giving him an encouraging smile. "You're both going to have three more siblings, and one of them is a boy."

"What are the other two?" Logan asked smiling so wide clapping her hands together in excitement while Evan said nothing.

"We don't know yet bug, the doctor was only able to see what the boy was." Harry explained.

"Babies?" Evan furrowed his brow as he stared at Louis' belly.

"Yeah love, I have three babies in my tummy. You're gonna be a big brother, isn't that exciting!?" Louis cheerfully grabbed his hands lifting his arms up into the air but Evan only frowned and his blue eyes filled with tears before he let out a loud wail.

"I don't wanna be a big brother! I'm your baby, daddy!' Evan wailed pushing Fitzgerald off of his lap then clung to Louis.

Louis looked at Harry seeing him already rubbing his hands on his face while he hugged his son rubbing his small back.

"I know you're my baby and I love you so much like I love Logan and the new babies plus you get to be a big brother like Alex is a big brother to Melissa. Don't you want to be like Alex?" Louis pulled him a little away from him to look him in the eye.

"Ye- es." Evan hiccuped.

"See? And you get to hold them and play with them." Louis continued.

"And boss them around like I boss you around." Logan interrupted poking his belly making him giggle.

"Are they coming out tomorrow, daddy?" Evan asked looking down at Louis' belly then back at him.

"Not tomorrow, in a few more months." Louis smiled.

"That's like a week." Evan shrugged already over it.

"A whole week." Harry agreed making them laugh.

Harry made his way towards them sitting next to Louis where Logan moved over to his lap looking at the pictures. All that could be heard throughout the house was Louis' soft voice explaining which baby was which pointing out the their limbs making sure they understood what was what laughing when Evan muttered about their heads being too big. While both kids continued looking at the different pictures Harry leaned back smiling at Louis who leaned closer giving him a chaste kiss and a smile before he went back to the pictures leaving him completely breathless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	12. And I could do this forever

Turns out Louis had jinxed his luck when a week later he woke up with the worst morning sickness he had ever experienced keeping him from going to work. Harry had stayed home with him not wanting to leave him alone spending his day next to Louis rubbing his back as his husband puked his guts out always cleaning up after him. By noon Louis was already feeling better as if nothing had happened listening to Harry when he suggested he stay home and rest letting Harry take care of him when he had insisted even though he was feeling much better.

His morning sickness wasn't 'morning' anymore when he started getting sick right before bed waking up feeling great the following day. They had decided to keep to themselves that they were going to have triplets at least until they knew the gender of the other two and every day Louis wished for girls.

As the weeks passed by he only kept getting bigger and bigger until it was hard for him to walk for long distances and move around like he used to, and by his twentieth week he felt like he was going to explode at any moment. The day of his next appointment the morning sickness had finally gone away getting replaced by the weirdest cravings and exhaustion getting everything backwards compared to his last two pregnancies since he hadn't experienced none of that on his third.

"Good morning Harry. Good morning Louis, how are you feeling?" Dr. Lane greeted them motioning for Louis to get on the exam table with Harry's help.

"Okay...well, I'm having a bit of trouble walking and I haven't felt them kick...just a lot of squirming but its not that strong." Louis said trying not to look at his belly where he already had a few new and visible stretch marks.

He had a total of four, two on his left side and the rest underneath his belly button and no matter how much coconut butter he rubbed all over his stomach more kept appearing seeing a few smaller ones on his right side.

"That's normal, remember that you have three babies in there and its a bit cramped, they will fight for space and soon will start kicking up a storm. Ready to try and find the gender of the other two?" She said smiling when both of them nodded.

As soon as Dr. Lane poured gel over Louis' stomach they focused on the screen smiling when they could barely make out their babies. She took her time making sure they were doing okay going through a mental list and when she was sure everything was okay she smiled seeing their genders.

"Girls!" Dr. Lane exclaimed. "Two girls and a boy, congratulations."

As soon as they heard Harry smiled like a fool lifting Louis' hand to kiss the top of it mouthing a thank you while Louis felt like his face was going to split in two. After discussing it was decided that they would try to keep them there as long as they could meaning more doctor's appointments to keep a close eye on them. They had gone home already planning to empty out one of the guest bedrooms and turn it into a nursery deciding to keep the walls the same color until Louis changed his mind.

"We need to stop at a hardware store and get paint, I want a really light green...but no the ugly green that gives you a headache. Like a pistachio color, I think it will look great." Louis babbled while Harry only smiled nodding along and taking a left turn to the hardware store.

Once they were there Louis took his time picking the right color which had felt like an eternity to Harry but in the end Louis was happy holding a bag full of brushes and other supplies while Harry had a gallon of paint on each hand. As soon as they got home Harry wasted no time moving the furniture out of the biggest room and by the time it was time to pick up the kids from school he was finished.

******

"What are the other two babies?" Logan asked Harry from the backseat as soon as he had gotten out of the school grounds.

"Uh..." Harry paused seeing both of his kids through the rear view mirror leaning forward to hear the news. "We'll tell you as soon as we get home, daddy wants to tell you too."

"Not fair." Logan pouted.

Harry laughed trying to get there as fast as he could and as soon as he had parked the kids didn't waste time to get out of the car and run inside where Louis was already waiting for them sitting around the kitchen table.

"Its a boy and..?" Logan asked as soon as she was standing in front of him.

"A boy...and two girls!" Louis smiled when Logan cheered along with Evan who had no idea why she was acting crazy but cheered along with her anyway.

"Yes! Finally two more girls in the house. I'm gonna dress them up and then I'm gonna take pictures, then dress them up again to take some more. I'm gonna go call Lux and Tabitha to tell them I was right." Logan babbled as she made her way to her room grabbing the phone on her way.

"Daddies I'm hungry." Evan whined trying to climb on Louis' lap and as soon as he was sitting down trying to make himself smaller in order to fit, he lifted Louis' shirt up poking his belly three times until he was satisfied then lowered it down again.

"What was that for, buddy?" Harry asked picking him up setting him down on his hip while Louis shifted around uncomfortably, feeling one of his babies moving around.

"Daddy, how do they breathe?" Evan asked wide eyed.

"They don't need to breathe yet sweetheart, their lungs are not formed that well yet and daddy gives them the oxygen they need." Harry explained seeing Louis frowning and moving around.

"One of them is moving." Louis said putting a hand on top of his belly sitting up straight when he felt the sudden tiny kick on the side of his belly.

"You okay?" Harry asked setting Evan down when he started squirming having spotted Fitzgerald laying down on the couch.

"One of them just kicked!" Louis exclaimed fighting a smile when Harry rushed over to him squatting down in front of him putting his hand on either side of his belly.

He stayed there waiting for who knows how long and when nothing happened he started talking to them, especially to both girls.

"Its daddy...I can't wait to meet you babies. I love you, all three of you." Harry leaned in to kiss it three times and Louis had to look away feeling like he was intruding on a private and very special moment.

He started running his fingers through Harry's hair smiling a little when he heard him sigh in content enjoying the quiet moment until his eyes widened when he saw Evan getting on the couch with Fitzgerald in his arms. He tried to get up and stop him but when he did Evan had already thrown the cat into the air screaming 'fly!' at the top of his lungs. He sighed in relief when Fitzgerald landed gracefully on the floor then took off running towards their bedroom at full speed while Evan laughed and Harry went after the cat to make sure he was okay.

"Evan Landon, what is wrong with you? Why would you throw the cat like that, mister!?" Louis scolded him slowly making his way to his son who was still standing up on the couch.

"He wanted to fly." Evan shrugged wrapping his little arms around Louis' neck as soon as he was standing in front of him.

"Well that's not nice, you could have hurt him and make him cry." Louis softly said not having the heart to stay mad at his son.

"He's under the bed and won't get out." Harry said then sighed when he saw Louis trying to pick their son up.

"I'm going to sit down." Louis rolled his eyes taking a seat next to Evan where he started explaining why it wasn't nice to throw the cat or any other living being with the ugly thought in the back of his mind that he would do something to the babies once they were born.

When he was done he made him sit down at the table and try and learn a few shapes and colors after finding out he was a little behind in school and all he could do was help him catch up. Once they were done he let him go play then got up to help Harry with dinner not wanting to let him do everything on his own after everything that had happened.

"Evan's birthday is in three weeks." Louis commented as he set the table. "We should throw a party, invite the family and his friends...then later we could tell them we're expecting triplets."

"Five, he's going to turn five." Harry said in complete awe unable to believe that his baby was growing up.

"Seems like yesterday when he came out of me a crying mess." Louis fondly smiled.

"Yeah...and now he's growing up and in fourteen more years he'll be off to college. Logan will probably move out by the time she turns eighteen...that's like nine- eight years from now." Harry started getting nostalgic then his eyes filled with tears.

"You've been so emotional lately." Louis walked up to him hugging him from behind resting his head on his back in between his shoulder blades.

"I know, it's just that...I can't get over the fact that I never got to hold her as a baby and she's growing up too fast and I just want our children to stay little. Don't listen to me, I'm crazy." Harry said with millions of tears already running down his cheeks.

"Yeah but you got to hold her and give her all your love later on and you are the best dad ever, don't live in the past Harry, we should live in the moment and later on remember all the happy memories we made together as a family." Louis turned him around to look him in the eye then smiled before he started talking again. "I am happy, we're all happy and just imagine all the new memories we're gonna make with all five of our kids."

"I get to dress up the girls, right? I saw really cute outfits on the internet, the dresses are so tiny and cute and then I saw the cutest outfit for baby boy." Harry happily sighed at the end making Louis love him even more.

"They need names." Louis said.

"Well, you know one of the girls already has a name. I'm not giving up that name, her name will be Leighton Grace. Doesn't matter which one." Harry said set on that name making Louis laugh.

"Okay, one down, two to go. I really like Lexie and Owen, you can give them a middle name." Louis casually said letting Harry know he wasn't going to change his mind.

"We need to write them down." Harry pulled his phone out typing them down on his notes. "Which girl are you naming what?"

"I think we should wait until they're born and see what name fits who more." Louis said getting a happy nod from Harry.

By the time they were in bed Louis was half asleep when he was startled by Harry who sat up letting out a gasp.

"I have the perfect names after googling for hours." Harry said helping Louis up.

"What are they?"

"Caden and Anne. My mum is going to die when she finds out." Harry smiled already writing them down.

"Owen Caden and Lexie Anne...Leighton Grace. Perfect." Louis beamed.

~*~

On Evan's birthday he was woken up to hugs and kisses as well as his favorite breakfast and Louis could tell he was having a great day until they had to go to school. Louis was already at twenty three weeks and couldn't really pick up a crying and kicking Evan to buckle him up until Logan helped him out shushing her brother as she buckled him in.

When they got to school Louis went straight to the office to pick up a few things seeing David on his usual spot. Louis had never told him about his miscarriage until one day when David had gone over to his house with Alex and Melissa. He had told him how sorry he was then had congratulated him when Louis told him he was expecting twins which was before finding out there was a third baby.

"Good morning Louis, how are you?" David smiled.

"Great! Harry and I are having a birthday party for Evan this Saturday at two and we'll love for you and your family to be there."

"Of course we'll be there, thanks for inviting us." David said. "How's he doing? I was counting on you bringing him in today to hug him, I have a little something for him."

"His class is having a small celebration for him and he practically sprinted out of the car when I told him. I'll bring him in during lunch." Louis chuckled. "How's Alex and Melissa doing?"

"Good. Getting bigger and bigger everyday. Melissa still cries every time Brian or I drop her off at day care but she's amazing, wonderful." David's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Baby girls are so cute." Louis happily sighed.

"Do you know the sex of your twins?" David asked.

"We'll reveal it after Evan's party so you better not leave early." Louis smiled.

They talked for a few more minutes before Louis left to go to his class where he never stopped smiling once whenever his students would tell him they couldn't wait to meet his babies. By the end of the day he picked up Logan and Evan taking them straight home where he helped them with their homework then made dinner with Logan's help after she had insisted on helping him.

By Saturday morning they had everything ready thanks to Anne and Gemma who had gotten there a day before and ever since, Evan would spend all day next to or following whoever was holding Hanna. The now two month old baby already had a head full of dark hair and the bluest eyes anyone had ever seen, she had taken after Gemma which Ashton announced he was happy with.

When Jay, Mark and the rest of the girls got there he was surprised when Lottie walked through the door where she had rushed to him hugging him and congratulating him. He had spent the rest of the day avoiding the question about what he was expecting having asked Logan not to say anything about the triplets.

One by one guests started showing up that included all of Evan's classmates along with one or both of their parents who wasted no time in congratulating them. The house was full and noisy just like Harry and Louis liked it happy to see all the children running in the backyard after Buttercup or others jumping on the trampoline after Harry had made sure it was safe installing a net around it.

_'Happy birthday to you_

_Happy birthday to you_

_Happy birthday dear Evan_

_Happy birthday to you'_

Evan madly giggled sitting at the head of the table in the dining room while everyone sang happy birthday and once they were done he blew out the candles grinning proudly up at his parents for doing it without help.

"Did you make a wish?" Harry asked kissing the top of his head.

"Yes but I can't tell you." Evan quickly clarified making Harry laugh.

"But you're gonna tell me, right Bubbie?" Logan grinned from where she was standing with all three of his friends and the twins, Daisy and Phoebe.

"No, only daddy Louis." Evan shook his head then leaned closer whispering it to Louis who was smiling like a fool.

After the cake it was time to open the presents and so far Evan had loved them all, he had let out a happy and excited scream when he saw the brand new Power Ranger's bike Harry had gotten him. Harry had promised to teach him how to ride it as soon as they could but ended up being that same day after Evan had insisted and when everyone but their families and close friends had left. When it was already dark they had all gone inside sitting in the great room waiting for the news.

"We're not going to have twins," Louis started seeing the way all of their faces fell then let Harry continue.

"We're going to have triplets, a boy and two girls." Harry happily announced opening his arms for his mum when she ran to him with tears already down her cheeks while Jay did the same with Louis.

"Congratulations sweetheart!" Jay hugged Louis then rubbed small circles on his belly letting the rest congratulate him.

"You tripled the production mate!" Niall said as he hugged Louis making him laugh.

"When are you going to have more?" Louis casually asked smirking when Niall blushed a deep red.

"We're on it but it might take a while or just, you know...never happen." Niall shrugged interrupting Louis just as he was about to talk. "We're perfectly fine if I never get pregnant, we're happy with Chloe and Jeremy but if I do get pregnant then great."

"Don't worry, soon you'll have more mini Zayn's running around and causing chaos...telling you to ask them if they give a motherfuck just like their dad." Louis laughed followed by Niall.

"Took me two weeks to get Jeremy to stop saying it, don't start it again." Niall chuckled.

"I won't." Louis promised.

He continued receiving hugs while Harry went crazy showing them the ultrasound pictures and after they had agreed to keep the names of the babies to themselves they kept their mouths shut when everyone kept asking.

"Three babies, Louis that's amazing." Eleanor hugged him as she held her one year old on her hip who kept squirming.

"Well aren't you squirmy today." Louis tickled him then extended his arms beaming when Eric willingly went to him.

"He's been trying to walk, fell over the other day when he tried to hold on to Liam. He freaked out to no end." Eleanor said looking at the little bump on her son's forehead.

"Poor baby." Louis kissed his cheek letting him rest his head on his shoulder when he let out a tiny yawn.

"Congratulations Louis." Liam walked up to them giving him a hug then took Eric when the baby started squirming wanting to go to him.

"Thank you. Such a daddy's little boy." Louis smiled fixing a cowlick on the back of his little head.

"He is. Aren't you baby boy?" Liam cooed at him then slowly walked away making obnoxious noises while Eric giggled grabbing his father's nose.

"I have two babies." Eleanor shrugged.

Louis talked to her for a few more minutes until she had to go back home with her family along with David and his after Melissa turned into a fussy mess. The only ones left behind were Niall, Zayn and their twins but after Jeremy had fallen asleep after a long day of playing Zayn had insisted on going home leaving everybody else alone.

"When are you going to deliver?" Anne asked after all the younger kids including Jay's twins had gone to bed followed by Fizz and Lottie a few hours later.

"I don't know, we want to keep them in there as long as possible which I was hoping full term but its impossible." Louis explained.

"As long as the four of you are fine." Jay grabbed Louis' hand happy to be around her son again.

"We will, I won't let anything bad happen to them. You should see Harry, already worried about college tuition." Louis smiled a little.

"That boy." Anne fondly sighed.

"What boy?" Harry walked in holding a banana in one hand and his camera on the other.

"Today's pictures?" Gemma asked as she fed her daughter motioning for her brother to sit next to her.

"Yup, my little demon stole my camera and took selfies." Harry said then began showing them the pictures that mostly consisted of Evan, the dog and the cat. "Took me forever to find it."

"He's so good, like daddy. And he's not a demon, he's just like you when you were his age, mum told me all the things you did and he's an angel compared to you." Gemma happily said.

"Are you still mad about the butterflies?" Harry sighed.

"Yes, you and Louis were killing them." Gemma wanted to smack him but had her arms full.

"Dads orders." Harry deadpanned making sure his father and Mark could hear them from the keeping room where they were watching a game along with Ashton only hearing them laughing.

They stayed up for a few more minutes until Louis started feeling uncomfortable for sitting down too long never moving around. Anne and Jay watched with a smile how Harry helped Louis to their bedroom while Louis complained trying to walk on his own, and his legs weren't broken nor was he a baby to be carried there. And later that night way past midnight they didn't fell asleep until Harry jerked Louis off lucky that no one had heard Louis when he came with Harry's hand still around his cöck.

~*~

A week after Evan's party Harry had finally managed to find the time to paint the nursery letting Evan help him by giving him his very own section of a wall after he had insisted on helping. Logan had painted until she got bored and left leaving Harry and Evan alone while Louis slept trying to get rid of a headache after a long night where he hadn't been able to sleep due to the babies kicking at the most inconvenient of times.

"We're done painting the nursery, now all we have to do is buy the cribs and other things." Harry said as soon as he walked into his bedroom with some paint on his left cheek and forehead.

"Logan and I are going to decorate, she designed a tree with little owls on it and its just so cute. I'm gonna let her paint it." Louis lazily smiled laying down on his back propped up by a few pillows as he rubbed tiny circles on his belly.

"Do you want to sleep more? Lou, you look exhausted." Harry sat down where he started running his fingers through Louis' hair.

"I can't sleep, they kick a lot plus we have to go shopping for their stuff. Tell me why it was such a great idea to give Evan's stuff away, we could be using it for Owen." Louis sighed trying to get up.

"Because other less fortunate babies needed them and we wanted to so whoever got it will have something to sleep in, and warm blankets." Harry said as his and Louis' smile only kept getting bigger.

"Yeah, you're right. Do you want to go get furniture today? I don't want to wait until I can't move anymore." Louis suggested.

"I would love to but we need to make sure they can convert to beds...and I need to take away the railing on Evan's bed because he just told me he's a big boy and a big brother so he doesn't need it anymore. 'Railings are for babies daddy.' " Harry said in a businesslike manner making Louis laugh.

"He's taking his role so seriously, hope he keeps doing that when the babies get here."

"Yeah, we should go." Harry helped Louis up offering to help him put his shoes on glad that Louis let him.

After getting the kids ready they were finally able to leave the house and half an hour later they walked into Babies R Us trying to hold Logan back when she tried to make a run to the clothing section seeing all the tiny dresses. They ended up getting three cribs with a three drawer changer knowing they were going to need the extra space.

After buying the furniture they headed straight for the clothes where Logan begged Louis to buy her sisters a few dresses so she could dress them up while Louis couldn't say no also noticing how she had no interest on Owen at all.

"Are they going to share clothes or are you going to buy them separate clothes?" Logan wondered while holding two identical dresses in her hands.

"I think they're going to share for now love, buy more clothes for them and have them wear whatever." Louis said.

"But can we buy both of these? They would look really cute." Logan smiled and who was Louis to say no smiling when she happily put them in the shopping cart.

"Sweety, why don't you pick some clothes for your brother too. I think your sisters have enough for now." Louis suggested while looking at the cart full of baby clothes for his daughters.

"Okay." Logan shrugged walking over to the boy's section where Harry already had a few clothes in his arms and Evan was trying to add a bodysuit with the words 'Pinch me, I'm cute' added on the front along with a design of an animated crab.

When they were done they moved on to other necessities just buying what he really thought was most important sighing when his family went crazy picking out toys. His eyes had widened when he saw the total cost but said nothing when Harry gave him a look letting him know it wasn't open for discussion. Three babies meant more expenses but he wouldn't trade them for the world.

When they got home a delivery truck was already parked in front of their house waiting for them and after they had assembled the cribs they left leaving Louis in the nursery looking at the three empty cribs that still needed a bedding wanting to wait to put them on until he was closer to a due date. He allowed Logan to paint the white tree and tiny owls staying there the whole time when she had asked him to so he could supervise but in the end he had let her mind run free loving how it had turned out at the end of the day.

"Do you like it?" She asked as she dried her hands with a paper towel after washing the paint off.

"I love it! Love the way you add detail to the owls. Its amazing, thank you." Louis praised her loving the way she smiled proud of herself.

"Its ready, I think the room is perfect and now all we need is babies." Logan looked around before she sat down on the floor to put her things away while Louis sorted out the tiny clothes already overwhelmed at the amount of them.

"That might take a while, sweetheart." Louis chuckled.

"I can wait, I'm a patient girl. Do the babies have names? I think I heard you telling daddy." Logan looked up at Louis expectantly.

"You have to promise not to tell anyone, I want it to be a surprise for the rest of the family so I'll just tell you their first names." Louis said seeing her furiously nodding letting him know she'll take it, it was better than nothing.

"Owen, Leighton and Lexie. We don't know which of your sisters will be called what."

"I think the littlest one should be Lexie, it sounds cute. Leighton could protect Lexie and beat up the mean people." Logan said with such enthusiasm it made Louis' heart fill with joy.

"You know, I think you're right. Baby C will be called Lexie." Louis approved hugging her when she got up to hug him.

"Baby C what?" Harry walked through the door with Evan hanging from his neck.

"Baby C is Lexie, Baby B is Leighton and Baby A is Owen." Logan explained smiling when Evan let out a giggle.

"Owen A and Lexie C...Lei- Lei..." Evan trailed off looking up at Harry for help.

"Leighton, baby." Harry said putting an arm under his tiny bum to support him.

"Leighton B!" Evan exclaimed proud of himself for saying it right. "B-B baby."

"Who wants to go out to eat?" Harry asked looking around the room smiling when he heard a chorus of me's."

They ended up going to a diner where they ordered their favorite foods having a great time and feeling at the top of the world where nothing could ever go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts! :)


	13. A moment of love

By the time Louis hit his twenty seventh week mark he was forced to stop going to work already too big and his feet swelling up wasn't helping at all. He had to be closely monitored by Dr. Lane and a few other doctors since triplets were risky in a male pregnancy and the most a male would have were twins but almost never triplets. He hated having to stay in bed only getting up to go to the bathroom but never somewhere else unless it was with Harry carrying him wherever he wanted to go. His cravings kept getting worse forcing him to wake Harry up in the middle of the night requesting the weirdest of things but Harry never complained happy to bring his husband whatever his heart desired.

"Harry? Harry, we still have to set up the Christmas tree and do the shopping." Louis tried to wake him up.

He was laying down on his side with Harry spooning him when the thought that they were close to Christmas and didn't even had the Christmas tree up yet suddenly entered his mind. He started getting desperate when Harry didn't even move until he had enough and the tears started rolling down his cheeks. That was enough to wake Harry up who was up faster than ever checking Louis all over for injuries.

"Babe, what's wrong? Are you hurting...where are you hurting?" Harry asked still trying to fully open his eyes seeing it was two in the morning, almost two weeks before Christmas.

"We don't have a Christmas tree and we always have it up by now." Louis sobbed against Harry's chest.

"We can put it up tomorrow, I bet the kids would love to help and we can do Christmas shopping when the swelling in your feet goes down. I know they're hurting right now and I don't want you to get hurt." Harry rubbed tiny circles on Louis' lower back sighing in relief when Louis let out a tiny hiccup then nodded falling back asleep a few minutes later.

The next Saturday morning Harry was up bright and early making breakfast for everybody while Logan fed the dog and the cat and Evan tried to help him set up the table after observing his parents do it way too many times. When the food was done Harry helped Louis to the table letting him walk for once after Dr. Lane had told them he needed to walk for a little bit everyday.

By then they had everything for the babies and all there was left for them to do was wait for Louis to deliver them then bring them home safe and sound. Logan would read to them every night because according to the books she had been reading it was good for the babies brain development while Evan made sure Louis was eating all of his food. He would poke his belly until at least one of them would kick wanting to make sure they were still there after finding out they had no air and it was dark in there.

"We're setting up the Christmas tree today." Louis announced when he was halfway finished with his breakfast earning a few cheers that made him smile.

"And it will be your birthday soon, daddy." Logan said already having started the gifts she was going to give him.

"Twenty eight!" Harry wiggled his brows chuckling when Louis gave him a sour look.

"You're gonna be twenty eight soon, you're as old as I am Harold." Louis playfully retorted.

"We're not old, we're at the prime age Lou." Harry smiled.

"I'm the prime age too, daddy." Evan furiously nodded before he focused again on his food.

"Sure you are, you're five." Logan muttered rolling his eyes.

"Sweetheart, be nice to your brother." Louis sighed not liking her sudden mood swings wondering what it was going to be like when she was an actual teenager.

"How about we hurry up so we can decorate the house, I already brought the tree and decorations down from the attic and they're waiting." Harry said sharing a look with Louis that let each other know they had been wondering the same thing about their daughter.

When they were done Louis happily put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher after convincing Harry to let him do it while he set the tree up so they could start decorating soon after. They spent the day decorating it and after they were done Louis moved on to other areas of the house while Harry decorated outside and Evan rode his bike back and forth in their driveway until Jeremy joined him and Zayn made conversation with Harry.

"Almost finished?" Zayn asked making his way over to him while keeping an eye on the kids.

"Almost, Louis and Logan are finishing up inside." Harry said. "Where are Niall and Chloe?"

"Christmas shopping, the presents are for us so we weren't allowed to go. I thought you guys weren't going to decorate this year." Zayn said moving to help Harry wrap the white twinkle lights around a tree.

"It totally slipped my mind but Louis woke up crying in the middle of the night and here I am, I don't mind though. Makes the house look better this time of year." Harry said seeing both Jeremy and Evan riding their bikes in circles noticing Zayn's solemn expression. "Something wrong?"

"Not really." Zayn shrugged then loudly sighed when Harry stopped what he was doing letting him know he was there for him.

"Its just...Niall and I have been fighting." Zayn slowly said debating whether it was a good idea to tell him.

"Is it about you guys trying for another baby?" Harry asked.

"No, we decided that whatever happens we'll accept it. Its about this new teacher at school, mate...she doesn't get that I'm gay and happily married with children. Its getting on my nerves and Niall's but I don't want to make this bigger than it already is so I just try to avoid her and Niall wants me to report it or something."

"Have you tried talking to her? Tell her to back off?" Harry asked.

"I just told her I'm married and have two wonderful children, I want nothing to do with her." Zayn rubbed his hands on his face.

"If I were you I will directly tell her to back off or she'll never stop." Harry tried his best seeing him sigh then finally nod.

"Yeah you're right, I don't want to keep fighting with Niall." Zayn said then let out a chuckle. "Are the neighbors still running behind you every morning?"

"Some, they kinda stopped trying to make a move on me." Harry shrugged, a faint smile on his lips.

"I think I'm gonna start running with you, all I do is sit on my ass all day eating snacks with the twins when I'm not working." Zayn said moving on to a shrub.

"Tomorrow, bright and early." Harry said just as he looked up to see Evan heading towards the road.

Zayn shook his head in amusement watching Harry run after his son telling him to stop which only served to make the five year old pedal faster stopping right in the middle of the road. He watched him pick him up by the waist dragging the bike back with him while Evan cried and squirmed in his hold and seconds later Louis walked out taking him from Harry to comfort him after hearing him scolding him.

"Hi Louis." Zayn waved at him.

"Hi! I'm taking Jeremy, I made hot chocolate and he wants some." Louis said grabbing Jeremy by the hand and taking him inside not even waiting for Zayn to agree.

"We should go inside." Harry said after checking that all the lights were working then followed Zayn inside where Louis had all four kids sitting around the kitchen table with a cup of hot chocolate as well as sugar cookies in front of them.

Zayn was quick to grab a few then a cup of chocolate sitting down next to Jeremy smiling when his son climbed on his lap plopping down on it and making himself comfortable. They stayed there until Niall walked through the door with a bundled up Chloe setting her down on Zayn's lap after Louis had offered them cookies and hot chocolate.

"We'll be right back, I'm gonna show Niall the babies room." Louis announced as soon as he had finished his chocolate.

"Oh! I got stuff for them." Niall got up heading for a bag he had left by the door then helped Louis up the stairs and once they were in the nursery his eyes widened in awe. "This is the perfect nursery, I want it."

"Thanks, Logan did the tree and the little owls and their names, and this morning I fixed the bedding on the cribs." Louis proudly said walking to the first one that had Leighton carefully painted on a canvas fixing the bedding once again not caring that Niall now knew their names. He could keep it secret.

"When are you going to deliver them?" Niall asked still observing the tree carefully painted on the wall then handed Louis a gift bag.

"Thank you! As soon as they're ready, we want to keep them there as long as we can before I explode." Louis said going through the bag and smiling when he saw the three white bodysuits each with different phrases printed on the front.

"He did it, they did it, He did it. Niall this is so cute, and look, they even have arrows pointing at each other." Louis happily said deciding that those were the outfits he was going to bring them home from the hospital in.

"You're not going to explode." Niall playfully rolled his eyes. "I'm glad you like them, they're so cute."

"I'm bringing them home from the hospital wearing these...and I seriously need pickles...dipped in mustard. It sounds delicious." Louis' mouth watered taking a seat on the rocking chair in the corner of the room.

"I used to eat them with chocolate syrup, delicious back then, disgusting now." Niall made gagging noises getting louder when Louis rolled his eyes.

"That sounds good too, I think I'm gonna try it." Louis nodded already planning to ask Harry to get them for him.

He showed Niall all of his babies clothes thanking him then putting away the clothes Niall had gotten for them not wanting them to pile up again. He was forced to go back to bed when his feet started hurting and the babies kicks were too much for him wondering if they were capable of breaking a rib or the least fracture it.

~*~

Christmas shopping was done when Louis was feeling well enough to walk around department stores picking out Christmas presents for everybody going crazy when it came to buying things for Logan and Evan as well as Harry. That afternoon when he got home he mentally thanked Harry for taking their kids to work with him, and by the time they were supposed to be back he had already finished wrapping them hiding them in a closet in the office upstairs. He walked around the empty house with a hand on the side of his belly rubbing small circles and in the other an apple with only his babies and their pets to keep him company.

"I think we should bake a cake for dinner tomorrow night, it's my birthday and then Christmas." Louis spoke to his babies smiling when he got tiny kicks in return.

Now at twenty nine weeks pregnant he looked like he was ready to give birth at any moment even though his baby girls were a little on the small side but healthy nonetheless and Owen was developing at a normal rate.

He made his way to the kitchen talking to them as he gathered all the ingredients to make a chocolate cake and a vanilla one just because Logan preferred it over the chocolate one and Evan liked both at the same time.

By the time the cakes were cooling down Harry walked through the door holding a sleeping Evan in his arms with Logan behind him holding their bags. She dropped them in the keeping room then walked up to Louis to hug him after not seeing him for the whole day.

"I missed you, daddy." Logan mumbled against his side being that the only way she could really be close to him.

"Are you tired?" Louis asked her wrapping an arm around her shoulder then placed his thumb and index finger underneath her chin to get her to look at him.

"No, I just wanted to come home...and eat cake." She gave him an innocent smile before her eyes settled on the cakes.

"They're for tomorrow night, you could help me frost them. Make them Christmas themed." Louis excitedly said getting an equally excited nod in return.

"Can we make cupcakes too?" She asked.

"Only if daddy helps." Louis looked at Harry who still had Evan in his arms.

"I'm up for it." Harry shrugged smiling a little before he walked up to Louis and gave him a small kiss.

"How long has he been asleep?" Louis asked him as he tried to take his jacket off seeing the thin layer of sweat on his tiny forehead.

"Passed out before we left, was a little off all day. Kept pulling on his left ear but didn't say anything about it bothering him." Harry explained and it wasn't until his son's forehead made contact with his cheek that he noticed he was burning up.

Louis was quick to take his jacket off getting worried when Evan didn't even move when normally he would be waking up but instead he continued sleeping.

"Did you not notice?" Louis asked Harry placing his hand on his forehead feeling how hot he was.

"He was fine earlier when I checked to see if something was wrong. We should take him to the doctor." Harry tried putting his jacket back on sighing when Louis tried to take him from him. "Louis he's too heavy."

"I'm pregnant, not dying." Louis finally snapped taking his son into his arms where he proceeded to try and wake him up.

When Evan finally opened his eyes enough to look at Louis he only closed them again and started crying and clinging to his father. Louis took a seat on one of the kitchen chairs letting Evan snuggle up to him trying to comfort him before Evan sat up straight making that face they knew so well barely giving Harry enough time to get the trashcan. He ended up throwing up and getting some on Louis' sweater then continued crying until Louis had enough and got up with him still in his arms.

"Help me change him so we can take him to the doctor." Louis sighed.

As soon as Harry had Evan, Louis changed into new clean clothes then took his temperature finding it higher than normal and minutes later they were out of the house. Louis spent the ride to the hospital trying to wake his son up getting more worried when Evan was unresponsive. After he was seen by a doctor he was sent home with a few antibiotics when it turned out to be a severe ear infection with no symptoms.

That night he had slept with them after he refused to stay in his own bed getting up every time Louis or Harry would tuck him in and by the next morning he had a runny nose. After wishing Louis a happy birthday and a morning hand job when they managed to have alone time, Harry had spent the whole day after their son with a box of tissues in his hands to keep him from wiping his nose off on his sleeves. 

"Daddy, do you want to see what I made for you?" Logan asked Louis while they were preparing for dinner soon after everyone had called to wish him a happy birthday.

"Yeah!" Louis' whole face brightened up watching her running to her bedroom to get it.

Minutes later she came back with a gift bag giving it to him along with a hug wishing him a happy birthday. His smile widened when he took out a picture frame but instead of a picture it was a white background with the letters '50 reasons why I love daddy Louis'. He started tearing up when he started reading all fifty reasons carefully written down in her own handwriting in black ink seeing a heart by his name. By the time he read the last one he was in tears while Logan watched him with a worried expression on the verge of crying.

50\. You love me no matter what, mistakes, tantrums and all. You'll always love me.

"Do you not like it?" Logan asked as her bottom lip trembled.

"I love it, I'm just emotional darling. It's beautiful, thank you so much." Louis reached to hug her kissing the side of her head and rubbed her back remembering when she was just a tiny newborn and he would do the same to calm her down.

"I'm glad you like it." Logan smiled now happier than ever.

They were still in each other's arms when Harry walked in with Evan in his arms having just supervised his bath time. They were each holding gifts in their hands hugging him and congratulating him smiling bigger when their babies gave a few sudden kicks then settled down probably falling asleep.

"Mine first, daddy!" Evan exclaimed quickly giving him the gift bag.

"This is amazing, I love it!" Louis said grabbing a jar full of Hershey chocolate kisses then the homemade gift card with Evan's hand prints and the words 'happy birthday daddy, I love you so much' carefully written down in his very own handwriting then noticed a picture of both of them.

"We can eat them later." Evan nodded squirming out of Harry's hold where he ran to hold Logan's hand dragging her towards the keeping room.

"I actually have more than one gift but here's this one, happy birthday love." Harry wrapped an arm around his waist giving him the bag and a kiss on the forehead then lips.

"Thank you." Louis winked as he opened the bag.

His eyes widened when he saw the watch he had had his eye on for a while now but hadn't had the time to get it, while he was still admiring it Harry grabbed a few bags taking boxes out of them. Louis was quick to open them finding three pairs of the tiniest Vans he had ever seen then smiled when he saw two more pairs for Logan and Evan as well as another two for Harry and himself.

"Now we can all match." Harry shrugged catching Louis in his arms who kissed all over his face then finally his lips.

"Thank you, this is the best birthday." Louis kissed him again hugging him and smiling when the triplets started kicking and Harry's whole face lit up.

"Just one more week and you'll be thirty weeks, time's going by so fast." Harry commented getting on his knees to kiss his belly while Louis tried to ignore the fact that lately he didn't feel like Harry was attracted to him anymore.

"Dinner's getting cold and I'm hungry." Louis said earning Harry's attention who got up ready to serve dinner just as Evan ran by fully naked with Logan after him carrying his clothes.

"He'll put them back on when he gets cold." Harry sighed letting his son run around the house exposing his boy bits.

Harry had been right when by the time they sat down to eat Evan was wearing his Spider-man onesie telling everybody he had picked it himself and it had been tough since there was also a Power Ranger one in his closet. Louis absolutely loved dinner and by the end of it ended up serving the cake leaving the chocolate Evan had given him for another day.

He helped Harry clean everything up then took a shower after Harry had done so falling asleep as soon as his head had hit the pillow only to wake up in the middle of the night to pee finding Evan asleep in the middle of the bed when he got back. Harry had an arm wrapped around his little waist and Evan was snuggled up against his chest drooling all over his naked chest moving a little when Louis managed to find a comfortable position then fell back asleep wrapping an arm around their son.

The next morning Louis woke up to tiny hands on his cheeks and when he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Evan then Logan trying to wake them up. Harry was still out cold with his mouth wide open until Logan jumped on top of him startling him awake and that's when Louis burst out laughing at Harry's wide eyes.

"What? What?" Harry looked around until his eyes settled on a giggly Logan laying down next to him.

"Your face..." Logan giggled then her eyes widened when Harry smirked and seconds later felt his fingers on her sides tickling her.

"My face what, huh?" Harry laughed still tickling him as she begged him to stop.

"I'll stop, I''ll stop!" Logan shrieked trying to get his hands away from her.

"Who wants to open presents first? We can eat breakfast after." Louis said getting their attention then just like that both kids scrambled off of the bed and ran to the great room gasping when they saw all the Christmas presents.

As soon as Louis and Harry were there Logan and Evan started opening present after present cheering every time they opened one. Evan had let out a happy squeal when he opened the red and black scooter both parents had gifted him and Logan thanked them a million times when she opened a gift containing a white wall jewelry organizer. She thought she had seen it all until she started unwrapping one from both Louis and Harry, her eyes widened when she saw the drawing tablet just like the one Louis had after he had taken to drawing digitally. 

"You did not!" She exclaimed quickly getting up to hug them kissing their cheeks. "Thank you! This is the best gift ever, now I can start that comic."

"We knew you were going to love it." Louis smiled letting Harry help her with it when she asked already eager to start drawing.

After breakfast Logan spent all day on her tablet drawing whatever came to mind while Evan rode his scooter around the house. Harry had kissed all over Louis' face when he received plenty of memory cards and a brand new camera wanting to try it out by taking pictures of Louis and their kids while Louis obsessed over his brand new IPhone. He had smacked the back of Harry's head out of excitement when he was shown the compact massage chair recliner already in love with it since his back was always hurting nowadays. He had fallen asleep while using it feeling so much better when he had woken up a few hours later to Logan wanting to show him her newest drawings.

~*~

Two weeks later after celebrating New Year's eve and the birthdays of Zayn and the twins Louis had entered his thirty second week feeling worse as time passed by. His feet, hands and face had swollen up and after Harry had insisted he had scheduled an earlier appointment with Dr. Lane. As soon as she had seen him she had ordered a few tests only managing to scare Louis and Harry not knowing what was going on and only wanting their babies to be okay.

"Just what I thought." Dr. Lane said as soon as she had walked in into the room.

"Are my babies okay? What's wrong?" Louis asked trying to stay calm holding onto Harry's hands tighter.

"Based on your symptoms and the test results its a mild Pre-eclampsia." Dr. Lane informed them then hurried to explain when they showed nothing but worry.

"Its not severe and that's good, if it was severe then we would have no choice but to deliver your babies now to prevent anymore complications. We need to keep a close eye on you and at this point what I recommend is complete bed rest for the rest of your pregnancy. I'm also going to prescribe you calcium channel blockers to try and lower your blood pressure." She explained.

"Complete bed rest? I can't be in complete bed rest, I have kids that I have to take care of...that need me." Louis argued.

"If you want to keep your babies in there as long as possible then you have no choice Louis, you're only thirty two weeks along and their lives could be at risk if we deliver them this early...they're not fully developed yet and the risk of complications is high." She gave him a stern look that had him looking down at the top of his stomach and seconds later nodded.

"How long do they have to stay there?" Harry asked already worried out of his mind.

"Thirty five weeks is our goal, by his thirty third or thirty fourth week we'll need to start a steroid treatment to help the babies' lungs develop faster to prevent any complications after birth. With the right care we hope to make it easier on them for the rest of the pregnancy." She explained then looked down at Louis. "So bed rest and no stressing, a healthy diet is also vital."

"Okay, anything for them." Louis sighed.

"Now lets take a look at those babies." Dr. Lane smiled giving Louis time to get on the examination table with Harry's help and as soon as he was laying down and with his shirt up she poured the cold gel over his stomach mumbling an apology when he hissed.

They waited anxiously as she made sure they were doing okay then minutes later heard their heartbeats making Louis smile. He stared at the three babies that looked bigger than the last time he had seen them feeling Harry's hand holding his own.

"Your babies are doing fine, baby C is still a little on the small side but her sister is growing at a normal rate now." "Dr. Lane explained.

"Lexie, baby C is Lexie." Louis said unable to stop himself.

"That's a beautiful name, if she doesn't get any bigger by your thirty fourth week I'm hoping the steroid shots will help." Dr. Lane said removing the wand from Louis' stomach giving him a few paper towels.

"Thank you, the other one is Leighton and their brother is Owen. I kinda want to start calling them by their names." Louis shrugged.

"Then I will call them by their names, all your girls names start with an L, that's cute." Dr. Lane smiled.

She sent them home with new ultrasound pictures and a prescription to help lower Louis' high blood pressure and when they got home Harry let him to take a shower then made him go straight to bed. He ignored Louis complaining whenever Harry would bring him food to bed then spent the rest of the day watching TV with Fitzgerald on his side or sometimes one of his kids. Throughout the day he wouldn't stop thinking about how was Harry going to take care of them and work at the same time feeling awful that he couldn't help around.

"Harry, what are we gonna do when you go back to work? I can't really get up unless is to go to the bathroom." Louis asked Harry as he was getting ready for bed seeing him walking around the room.

"I got it all figured out." Harry simply answered getting into bed next to Louis where he was quick to spoon him.

"How?" 

"Mom called to ask about you and the triplets and I told her what's going on, she offered to come help us out and I said yes. She'll stay here after the babies are born to help us out, we need her Lou." Harry said when he felt Louis stiffening.

"I just feel bad, she has a life Harry and I feel like we're taking advantage of her." Louis said trying to turn around and face Harry and after struggling he was facing him.

"That's what I said but she insisted, she wants to help us out plus you know she wants to be here to spoil the kids." Harry started rubbing circles on Louis' lower back soothing a bit the pain Louis was feeling smiling when Louis sighed then finally nodded.

"Okay then, when is she going to get here?" Louis asked making himself comfortable resting his head on Harry's warm bare chest.

"Tomorrow, I have to go back to work on Monday but she said she'll be here tomorrow." Harry said then kissed Louis' forehead not saying anything else seeing him about to fall asleep.

When Anne got there a Saturday afternoon a very naked Evan greeted her as soon as she had walked through the door with Harry behind her carrying her bags. She had picked him up into her arms ignoring his naked state and had kissed all over his face telling each other how much they had missed the other and their I love you's.

"And why are you naked munchkin? You're going to get sick." Anne said as she walked to Louis' room picking up Evan's clothes on her way there.

"I don't know." Evan giggled then started squirming to get down as soon as he saw she was going to make him get dressed again.

"We need to put your clothes back on baby, we don't want you getting cold and sick." Anne said smiling as soon as she saw Louis in bed.

"Anne! Thank you for coming. How are you?" Louis asked shaking his head when he saw Evan naked again after he had made him get dressed earlier that day.

"I'm great. How are you feeling?" 

"Good, I am getting a bit tired of laying here all day long but its for my own good and the babies." Louis said then looked at Evan. "And you need to keep your clothes on mister, can't be running around the house showing your bits."

"I'm not gonna show my willy anymore, daddy." Evan shivered letting Anne dress him up again.

"Where's Logan?" Anne asked letting her grandson go as soon as he was dressed again.

"Upstairs drawing on her tablet, that's all she does now in her free time." Louis said.

"I still have all her old drawings she did for me when I first met her pinned to my fridge, she's going to go far with her talent." Anne smiled.

"She decorated the nursery, I'll show you it later, Harry won't let me get up at all unless is to go to the bathroom." Louis sighed fiddling with the edge of his blanket.

"Its for your own good sweetheart, my grandkids need you to be okay so they can be okay." Anne took a seat next to Louis careful not to jostle him around too much.

"You know...if I hadn't lost my baby he or she would be here by now. That's all I've been thinking about for the past few days, and now I'm trying to do my best to keep these ones safe." Louis gave her a sad smile trying not to cry when it was clear he still missed his baby.

"I know love, that baby will be missed and always loved. But now think that soon you'll have three new babies to love and hold." Anne hugged him relaxing when he nodded and smiled even though it looked forced.

"Ninna!" Logan interrupted them running into the room to hug her.

"Hi sweetheart, look at you getting bigger and bigger everyday." Anne kissed her cheek.

"Daddy told me you were here, he's upstairs putting your stuff in your room. Did daddy Lou told you I got to decorate the nursery? I painted a white tree with little owls and daddy got little owl crib mobiles. It looks so cute!" Logan gushed.

"I bet it looks beautiful baby, everything you do looks amazing." Anne pulled her close to her side.

"Mum, I put your bags in your room." Harry walked in with Evan in his arms setting him down on the bed watching him crawl towards Louis resting his head on his lap where Louis started running his fingers through their son's hair.

"Thank you love." Anne said then furrowed her brow watching Evan poking Louis' stomach until he stopped all of a sudden then giggled kissing it after.

"He does that until they kick, wants to make sure they're okay." Louis explained.

"Aww, aren't you adorable." Anne pinched his cheek then focused her attention back on Louis. "May I? I still haven't felt them kick."

"Of course! They're moving around right now, one of them kicks every time they hear Harry's voice." Louis said looking up at Harry who was already looking at him with a fond smile. 

"Really?" Anne asked in complete awe then glanced at Harry motioning for him to go ahead and start talking. "Come on, make your mum happy."

"I always make you ha-" 

"Oh my gosh there it is!" Anne exclaimed, her palm resting against the side of Louis' stomach.

"And its always on that side so I'm guessing its one of the girls." Louis said.

"Already a daddy's girl." Anne cooed.

Anne stayed next to Louis for the rest of the afternoon making sure he was okay and comfortable then got up deciding to make dinner letting Logan help her leaving Harry and Evan to spend time with Louis. She smiled when she saw her son running out of the house coming back almost half an hour later with a jar of pickles and a bottle of mustard making his way into the kitchen to get a plate and a fork smiling at her on his way out. When she called them in for dinner she sat in between Logan and Evan unable to stop smiling seeing how happy her two boys and their babies were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	14. The darkest fairytale in the dead of night

After Anne had settled in Harry had gone back to work without a worry knowing his mum would take care of Louis and make sure he was doing alright. He would drive both kids to school then pick them up on his way back from work and if he couldn't, his mum would pick them up. A week later with Louis in his thirty first week was doing better yet carrying triplets was straining and killing his back but he didn't let that bring him down no matter what.

"I have your apples...Louis you can't be walking around, you need to rest!" Anne set the plate of sliced apples on top of one of the nightstands then rushed to Louis helping him go back to bed.

"I'm tired of laying there and my legs were going numb." Louis complained letting Anne help him back to bed.

"Oh sweetheart, I know you get restless but the doctor said no getting up unless it is to go to the bathroom." Anne gave him a sympathetic smile and as soon as he was back in his spot she handed him the plate of apples.

"Thank you, I don't know what we would do without you. I really appreciate you been here." Louis smiled up at her.

"You don't have to thank me sweetheart, I enjoy helping you and I just want all four of you to be okay. So four more weeks, are you ready?" Anne sat down next to him already excited at the thought of three more grandchildren.

"Sometimes I feel like I am and other times I get so scared, three babies is a lot of work plus we have Logan and Evan who also need attention. Its gonna be chaos but I'm glad you're here." Louis said then took a bite out of one of the apple slices slowly chewing it.

"I can't wait to hold them!" Anne exclaimed out of nowhere making Louis chuckle at her excitement.

"Just four more weeks and you get to cuddle them all you want." Louis said offering his apples to Anne who gladly took one.

Anne spent the rest of the day with Louis having already seen the nursery after Harry had removed the canvases with their names written on them still wanting it to be a surprise. She had praised both Logan and Evan after Louis had told her how hard they had worked on it. That same day Harry had dropped them off at home then had gone back to work after making sure Louis was doing fine and had given him lots of kisses. Eleanor had showed up that day bringing even more clothes and toys for the babies and after she had left Evan had insisted on folding his brother's clothes completely ignoring his sisters'.

When Harry got home that night Louis was finally allowed to at least rest in the keeping room helping both his kids with homework and just spending time with his family. Moments like those he appreciated having Harry close either with his arm wrapped around his shoulder or letting him rest his head on his shoulder feeling his thumb tracing circles on the side of his belly.

"That feels good." Louis happily sighed then yawned feeling Harry's finger massaging his scalp then running them through his hair doing it back and forth.

"Are you tired?" Harry kissed the top of his head.

"Tired, not sleepy." Louis answered.

"We can go to bed, mum and the kids already did." Harry suggested then got up when Louis nodded.

He helped him walk to their bedroom wanting to take the pain away when he noticed Louis holding onto his lower back trying to discreetly rub a sore spot. After Louis was done brushing his teeth he went to bed insisting that he wasn't sleepy yet ended up falling asleep a few minutes later with the remote still in his hand and the other one on the side of his belly. He had started sleeping on his right side propped up by a few pillows for support leaving Harry on the other side of the bed all alone now that Evan had moved on and was staying with Anne.  
He tossed and turned around a few times until he gave up and with a sigh slowly scooted over close to Louis fitting his body around his careful not to disturb him then wrapped an arm around him. He placed his hand on top of Louis' belly next to his hand and closed his eyes only to open them again when he felt the light fluttering then seconds later a small kick making him smile and feel a rush of happiness spread throughout his entire being.

Slowly he got up and made his way to the other side of the bed laying down next to Louis with his head by his belly kissing it as he got comfortable. He spent most of the night feeling them kicking and even hummed a random tune to get them to calm down only to receive more kicks from a certain someone he knew so well. He fell asleep with his hand on his belly and his head by it never waking up until the next morning to the feeling of fingers running through his hair yet was unable to open his eyes when his eyelids felt too heavy and like they were glued.

"Haz, babe you have to wake up. Don't you have to work today?" Louis gently asked him smiling when Harry only cuddled closer to him.

Louis sighed going back to sleep waking up half an hour later noting that Harry was gone but could hear him in the bathroom probably getting ready for work. He was just about to close his eyes again feeling completely exhausted when Harry walked out of the bathroom fully dressed and ready to leave.

"Are you leaving?" Louis groggily asked still trying to fully wake up.

"Yeah, gonna drop the kids off at school then go straight there. Mum already woke them up and made them breakfast." Harry said laying down next to Louis giving him a chaste kiss wanting more when Louis turned his head around.

"Morning breath, I'm gross."

"You're not gross. How are you feeling? You look a little pale." Harry asked already getting worried.

"I'm just tired and I'm supposed to be checking my blood pressure soon...after I eat something." Louis informed him smiling when Harry wrapped his arms around him.

"I'll go bring you something to eat so you can feed the little monsters." Harry chuckled when Louis swatted his arm mumbling that their babies weren't monsters.

"Of course they aren't, I'll be right back with your breakfast." Harry chuckled then got up and left the room after giving Louis and his belly a few kisses murmuring a good morning to their babies.

Harry made his way into the kitchen seeing his children sitting around the table lazily eating the bacon and eggs Anne had prepared for them.

"Good morning love, I have breakfast for you and Louis ready. I made something healthier for him." Anne smiled turning around to kiss her son's left cheek then handed him a plate full of food.

"Thank you mum, you're an angel." Harry hugged her then turned around to look at his sleepy kids. "Good morning, sunshines!"

"Daddy, I do not want to go to school." Logan said getting a nod of agreement from Evan.

"Why? You start your new art project today." Harry knelt down next to them then turned to Evan. "And you have a show and tell today. You're gonna get to show them pictures of your baby siblings."

"I just don't want to go, I wanna stay with daddy." Logan said hoping her explanation was good enough.

"I want to stay with daddy too." Evan pouted.

"I know but you have to go to school, I promise the day is gonna go by so fast and soon you'll be back here with daddy." Harry kissed both of their foreheads getting nods in return then grabbed the tray of food for Louis making his way back to their bedroom.

Louis was once again asleep waking up when he heard Harry's footsteps and with Harry's help was able to sit up and eat realizing how hungry he was. When he was finished Logan and Evan walked in to kiss and hug him then left with Harry leaving Louis alone with Anne.

~*~

Two weeks later Louis started a steroid treatment hoping it would help his babies and at thirty three weeks it was hard for him to move around. He would need help getting up and walking around having lost his balance many times before. He would spend his days laying in bed or sitting in the keeping room always with Anne, Harry or their kids and by his thirty fourth week he just wanted the week to go by fast so he could deliver them and get a bit of relief.

They celebrated Harry's twenty-eight birthday when their family was free to go see them along with their friends who teased him about getting old. Harry had smiled the whole entire time and in his head was already planning the biggest birthday party for Logan since she would be turning ten just wanting her to have a great time while entering the double digits.

That night after Louis had dug out their blue and green bracelets that they had put away to keep them from falling apart they had started wearing them again. Harry had immediately smiled like a fool as soon as Louis had put the blue bracelet around his wrist then had put the green one around Louis' wrist falling asleep with a content expression on their faces.

********

"Harry? Harry, I really gotta pee." Louis tried to wake Harry up so he would move from where he was hugging him from behind.

"You need help? Let me help you up." Harry quickly got up and walked around the bed stubbing his toe on the way there.

"Fuck!" He shouted having to sit down by Louis grabbing his foot and holding onto it while rocking himself back and forth feeling his eyes watering.

"What happened, are you okay?" Louis asked trying to get up but failing to do so feeling a little lightheaded.

"I stubbed my toe." Harry whimpered then laid down next to Louis feeling his husband's fingers running through his tangled up hair.

"Oh I'm sorry love...babe, I really gotta pee. I'm barely holding it in." Louis said sighing in relief when Harry helped him up.

He felt bad when he saw Harry limping on his way there and once they were in the bathroom he left him alone to do his business. It took him a while but once he was done he flushed the toilet and walked out seeing Harry sitting on the edge of the bathtub waiting for him and checking on his toe. He closed then opened his eyes again feeling even more lightheaded trying to act normal when a wave of nausea hit him. He made his way to the sink to wash his hands drying them as soon as he was done then turned around to face Harry when he felt something warm running down his legs.

He looked down to see a puddle of liquid around his feet and seconds later a sharp pain on his stomach and lower back. He doubled over holding onto the sink and before he could scream out of pain Harry was already there helping him up then picked him up taking him back to their bedroom.

Louis wanted to say something but the words seemed to get stuck in his throat feeling dizzier and dizzier as the room spun around. All he could see was Harry running around and minutes later he felt warm hands on his cheeks seeing Anne's blurry face focusing on it until he let out a scream leaving him gasping for air. His arms wrapped around his stomach wanting the pain to go away feeling a few weak kicks before they went still.

"Lou, sweetheart? Louis look at me." Anne's voice trembled seeing Harry run out and minutes later come back in with the babies' bag.

"Mum could you- could you help me put a jacket on him and take him to the car." Harry said already in tears before his bottom lip trembled seeing Louis in bed staring at nothing in particular then winced letting out a sob when Louis once again screamed trying to curl up into a ball.

Anne nodded without saying anything fighting a few tears of her own as she helped Harry then carried their bags to the car staying there until Harry's car was gone. She slowly felt herself shivering more and more praying for them to be okay snapping out of her haze when she heard Evan crying. When she walked back inside she followed his cries finding him in their empty bedroom looking for them.

"Oh sweetheart, come here, lets go back to bed." Anne picked him up taking him upstairs to her bedroom where she laid down next to him humming a lullaby.

"Da- addies." Evan hiccuped snuggling close to Anne and when he finally fell asleep a few minutes later Anne sighed in relief.

She took her time calling Jay, Gemma and Robin letting them know what was going on as well as the rest of the boys wanting someone to go and stay with Harry. She had thanked Liam when he offered then Zayn when she had called them telling them to keep her updated. She was unable to fall back asleep waiting for them to get there from Doncaster and remembering that Logan's birthday was just three days away finally breaking down a little hoping for Louis and the babies to be okay.

~*~

When Harry got out of the car Dr. Lane was already waiting along with three other doctors and a few nurses helping Harry put Louis on a stretcher after Harry had called her on his way there. They wheeled him away leaving Harry behind who had to be stopped by a few nurses unable to calm him down until Liam showed up to help keep him in place.

He was starting to get desperate when no one would tell him what was going on and as the minutes passed by he only worried more thinking the worst. He had Liam sitting on his right and Zayn on the left waiting for anything and just when he was ready to get up and ask Anne showed up having left the kids with Niall.

"Are there any news?" She asked as soon as she was in the waiting room seeing her son fiddling with his blue bracelet.

"Nothing, we're just seeing nurses rushing in and out but no news so far." Liam answered when Harry seemed to be in a world of his own.

"Harry, he and your babies are going to be fine." Anne said taking the seat Liam offered to her after getting up.

She sat down next to him wrapping an arm around his shoulders letting him rest his head on her shoulder. She was just glad he had thought about putting shoes and a jacket on seeing he was still wearing pajama bottoms after the scare Louis had given them.

When Jay, Mark and Robin showed up having left Gemma at home with her daughter and Niall the first thing Jay had done was hug Harry and try and comfort him like Anne was doing while Mark and Robin took a seat in front of them. They were starting to get desperate when Zayn saw Dr. Lane walking in wearing surgical scrubs and quickly got up making the rest follow.

"How are they doing? Are they okay?" Harry asked feeling his mother's hand on his shoulder.

"High blood pressure, Louis developed eclampsia causing a seizure and the placenta to detach. We have to deliver them now." Dr. Lane informed them causing Jay to let out a muffled sob knowing what that meant.

"But they're going to be okay, right?" Harry's bottom lip trembled.

"His blood pressure is too high and he's lucky he didn't have a stroke while sleeping or on his way here."

"Then get them out before its too late!" Harry finally snapped feeling a hand on his other shoulder then heard Robin's voice telling him to calm down.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, its very important that we do." Dr. Lane said trying to keep him calm.

"They can listen to whatever you have to say, they're family." Harry said.

"He's going to go through surgery and that combined with how high his blood pressure is...is very dangerous. Its a matter of life and death. What I'm trying to say is that in- in case something happens and I have to save him or them you have to choose. I understand this is hard but there's no other way." Dr. Lane explained watching Harry fall apart in front of her.

"No! You have to save all four of them, I don't care what you have to do but you have to save them all. Please." Harry said with tears in his eyes.

"Harry you know I'll do whatever I can to save them all but things don't always go the way we want them to and this is necessary." Dr. Lane placed his hand on his shoulder wishing things could be easier.

"You can't make me do that, y- you can't make me pick between him or my children. You can't do that." Harry sobbed letting his mum hold him hiding his face on the crook of her neck.

"I have to go back now, Harry I know this is hard but you have to tell me now." Dr. Lane insisted.

The words got stuck in Harry's throat as he stared at her then looked around at his family and friends seeing they had tears in their eyes and were looking right back at him. He looked down at his blue bracelet knowing he couldn't lose him but couldn't lose their children either suddenly remembering that day Louis had found their bracelets while going through his boxes to help him pack.

_"Here," Louis pulled away and picked up the blue bracelet then grabbed Harry's left hand and gently put it back where it belonged as he smiled. "Now you'll always have something to remind you of me."_

He traced the bracelet's blue threads as he cried knowing that after what he was about to do the only thing he would have left of Louis would the bracelet. Louis would never forgive him but he'll rather have Louis alive and well than dead and his five children without a father. So he made the hardest decision of his life knowing that after that it would be all over and he would never get to have Louis in his arms ever again or get to hear him say he loves him.  
"Him. In case you have to save him or the babies...save him." Harry said and as soon as she was gone Harry broke down letting himself fall to the floor.

If it wasn't for Robin and Mark holding him then he would have been on the floor as he cried not wanting anyone to even look at him after what he had done. He had murdered his own babies and no matter what he did he would never forgive himself just like he knew that Louis would never do so either and this time he would accept it even if the sole thought of doing so killed him.

"Harry..." Mark trailed off when all Harry did was cry harder.

"I- I killed them, I k- killed my own ba-babies." Harry sobbed against Robin's chest soaking his shirt with his tears.

"Don't say that, you didn't killed them. We just have to have faith that everything will be alright." Jay tried to comfort him but Harry completely ignored her.

Zayn had called a nurse over when Harry wouldn't stop crying and started having trouble breathing then had a panic attack. He had had to be sedated and put in a room so he could rest letting Anne stay with him as she tried to keep herself together for his two sons and grandchildren who weren't probably going to make it. She then scolded herself for thinking that way and instead hoped for all of them to make it.

"Is he still asleep?" Liam asked after knocking on the door letting himself in.

"Yeah. Any news?" Anne wiped away her tears letting Liam sit next to her on the couch.

"Nothing. Zayn called Niall to let him know what's going on and he and Gemma are going to take the kids to school tomorrow." Liam informed her.

"My poor babies, if something happens to those babies I don't know how they're going to take it." Anne said before she burst out crying letting Liam hug her.

"We need to have faith. I know its hard but we have to and we have to be strong for Harry and Louis." Liam said as his eyes started stinging with tears.

Anne wanted to say something but ended up getting up when he heard Harry waking up and immediately rushed to his side holding his hand. She waited for him to fully wake up and when he did she hugged him as soon as he whispered 'mum' and the tears rolled down his temples.

"He's going to be okay, all of them are." Anne said but Harry only closed his eyes again as his bottom lip trembled.

"I want to go back to the waiting room, I need to be there for when she comes out to tell us what's going on." Harry begged sighing in relief when Anne nodded.

After a doctor made sure Harry was doing alright he was given something to eat that Anne forced him to eat after he had rejected it then was allowed to go back to the waiting room taking a seat in between Jay and his mother. To Harry it was torture having to wait there not knowing what was going on and the fact that Louis hadn't been able to experience the birth of their babies like he would have wished was killing him.

He was getting ready to get up and demand one of the nurses tell him what was going on when Dr. Lane walked through the door wearing a tired expression. By the time she got there they were already standing up and waiting for her and immediately started talking not wanting to keep Harry waiting.

"Louis is completely fine and stable. Right now he's still under the effects of the anesthesia but his health is improving. We'll be giving him magnesium sulfate for twenty four hours to prevent seizures and will have to monitor him for three to five days to make sure his blood pressure goes back to normal and prevent any future seizures." Dr. Lane informed them smiling a little when they all sighed in relief but was quickly wiped away when Harry looked at her with wide eyes.

"And the babies?" He asked as his voice trembled getting ready to hear the worse.

"They're alive, all three of them but-"

"But what?" Harry interrupted her.

"Owen is doing great and will probably have to stay in an incubator for one or two days just to make sure he's doing good, he weighed...four pounds and eight ounces. Leighton is a bit smaller at four pounds on the dot, she'll have to stay in an incubator for a few more days and Lexie...she will have to stay in an incubator longer than her siblings. She only weighed three pounds and two ounces and is having a little bit of trouble breathing on her own and regulating body temperature." Dr. Lane said going through her chart where she had all of their information.

"Oh thank god." Jay sighed in relief letting Mark hug her as he too let out a breath out of relief.

"But Lexie is going to be okay, right?" Anne asked.

"We're doing everything we can, its up to her now but I'm sure she'll get through this." Dr. Lane said still waiting for Harry to say something.

"What about their eyes? Did you check their eyes?" Harry finally asked feeling a lump forming in his throat.

"We did but before I tell you I have to let you know that they are premature babies and we have to take into consideration that their eyes are still developing." She explained.

"With Owen and Leighton there was pupillary response but with Lexie there was but only to some extent. Its still too soon to be a hundred percent sure whether she's completely or partially blind...or if her eyes are still developing since she's a little underdeveloped. You can't lose hope yet, Harry." She gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Can I see him? Please, can I see him?" Harry begged.

"Of course, would you like to see your babies too?" She asked.

"I want to meet them when Louis is awake, I- I want us to meet them together." Harry said following her after looking at the rest getting nods in return.

"Yeah, the anesthesia should start wearing off soon. This way please." Dr. Lane said.

When Harry walked into the room he immediately rushed to Louis' side and grabbed his hand in both of his kissing it as he did so. He looked completely exhausted and pale, his lips were colorless and chapped but to Harry he was still the most beautiful being.

"I'll leave you two alone, call for me if anything happens." She said then walked out of the room having only received a nod from Harry.

"I'm so glad you're okay and if one day you find out what I did, I hope you can forgive me. I just couldn't lose you love, I couldn't let Logan and Evan lose you too. You're their dad and you mean a lot to them, they love you so much." Harry took a seat next to the bed still holding onto Louis' hand.

"The babies are okay...Lexie is a bit sick but she'll get better and we're going to love her so much, I'm going to make sure she knows she's loved and I hope one day she can forgive me for taking away her sight." Harry's eyes filled with tears feeling a hole in his chest and a lump in his throat.

He pulled back leaning against the back of the chair and slowly brought his knees up to his chest hiding his face in between them and wrapping his arms around his legs. A few seconds of deafening silence to him passed by before Harry finally broke down and the only thing that could be heard throughout the room were his sobs as well as Louis' heart monitor.

He let it all out before Louis could wake up, he wanted to let it all out right there and then so he could be strong for Louis. He let it all out blaming and hating himself for ruining his daughter's life, for giving her something he had no control of yet wish he had. He felt his throat closing in and put a hand over his mouth trying to keep his sobs in as he pulled on his hair with the other hoping for her to fully develop. Hoping for her to be able to see, to one day be able to see what she looks like and be able to chase her siblings and their pets around.

But one thing he was sure of was that if he had truly taken that away from her then he would never forgive himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	15. In the moment we're ten feet tall

By seven in the morning Louis began waking up and as soon as his eyes opened his hands immediately went to touch his stomach freaking out when his bump was gone. He felt around only feeling the hardness of the bandage wrapped around it then looked around glad that the lights were off and the only light coming in was through the window. His mouth was completely dry as he searched for water and that's when he noticed Harry sleeping on the couch next to his bed. He looked exhausted and was still wearing his pajamas and an old pair of shoes.

"Ha- Harry?" Louis tried to speak wincing when he felt his throat burning, watching Harry waking up and seconds later he was standing next to him.

"Hey love, how are you feeling?" Harry asked as he rubbed circles on Louis' cheek with his thumb.

"Thirsty," Louis answered watching Harry grabbing a bottle of water and a straw, "Where are they, are they okay?"

"They are doing okay, Lexie is gonna have to stay in an incubator a little bit longer but she's doing great so far. I haven't met them yet, wanted to wait for you." Harry answered debating whether he should tell him or not what he had done.

"What happened?" Louis asked then waited for Harry to answer taking small sips.

"Umm, your blood pressure was really high and you got sick...they had to deliver the babies." Harry explained.

"You're hiding something." Louis stated feeling a bit better.

Harry gulped wanting to say something just when Dr. Lane walked in making him sigh in relief when now it wasn't him who had to explain. He took a seat on the chair next to Louis' bed and smiled when Louis immediately grabbed it in his.

"Good morning. How are you feeling Louis?" Dr. Lane asked as she washed her hands in the sink in the corner of the room.

"A bit sore s'all. Are my babies okay? Where are they?" Louis asked just wanting her to bring them so he and Harry could finally meet them.

"They are doing okay. I'm going to see how you're doing then we'll talk about your babies." Dr. Lane said as she took Louis' blood pressure sighing in relief when she saw it was lower than a few hours earlier.

"Is he doing better?" Harry asked hoping for a yes.

"His blood pressure is lower than a few hours ago but we still need it to go lower." She informed him then turned to Louis checking his bandages. "You gave us quite the scare Louis, it was a very complicated surgery. You're gonna have to stay here for at least five days to make sure your blood pressure stabilizes but other than that you're healing nicely."

"What about my babies?" Louis insisted.

"Owen is doing great so far and is only gonna have to stay in the incubator for a few more hours then one of the nurses will bring him to you so he can stay here with you, he was four pounds, eight ounces and seventeen inches." She said smiling when Louis smiled.

"What about Leighton and Lexie?" Louis asked sensing something was wrong when Harry's grip on his hand tightened and Dr. Lane stopped smiling.

"Leighton was only four pounds and sixteen point seven inches, she's gonna have to stay in an incubator for a few more days and Lexie only weighed three pounds and two ounces...and barely sixteen inches, she's a small baby. She's having a little bit of trouble breathing and regulating body temperature so she's going to have to stay longer than her sister."

"I- Is she going to make it? What about their eyes?" Louis asked, a few tears in his eyes.

"She's a strong girl, such a little fighter. About their eyes, Owen and Leighton responded very well so there's nothing to worry about. Lexie is still a bit underdeveloped and her eyes have yet to finish developing to the fullest. There was little to no pupillary response but like I told Harry, we have to wait until she gets better to be a hundred percent sure whether she's fully or partially blind or if her eyes just need time." She explained.

Louis let out a shaky breath looking at Harry who was looking down at his lap then nodded letting her know he had understood.

"We had to put your girls in the same incubator you know, Leighton wouldn't let go of Lexie and if we managed to separate them it was screaming from both ends until they were close to each other again. They...they were born holding hands and I took the liberty to ask one of the nurses to take a picture, hope you don't mind." She smiled handing them a picture that Louis was quick to take.

His and Harry's eyes filled with tears when they saw the two tiny babies still covered in blood and nasty goo holding hands, or more like the biggest of the two holding onto the smaller one's tiny fingers. Louis traced his fingers on the outline of his babies wanting to meet them already.

"When do you think we'll be able to see them?" He asked.

"As soon as you're a little better we'll take you to see them, now rest and in a few hours you'll have your baby here. I'll have someone bring you something light to eat later on." She smiled before leaving the room.

"Harry? Aren't you going to say something?" Louis stared at him imagining how he must be feeling.

"They're okay Lou, that's all that matters." Harry smiled kissing the top of his hand.

Louis was allowed visits and when his parents walked into the room it was all tears from Jay who hugged him not wanting to let go. Anne had cried her eyes out while Robin cried a little then both of them hugged him letting him know Gemma and Niall were with Logan and Evan. Zayn and Liam had visited and congratulated him leaving minutes later for work leaving the rest there.

A few hours later after Louis had finished his small breakfast he was starting to get desperate when no one would bring him his baby and update him about his daughters. He was getting ready to get up much to Harry's protests when a knock was heard and seconds later a cheerful nurse opened the door wheeling in a plastic bassinet with the tiniest baby Louis and Harry had ever seen swaddled in one of the hospital blankets.

Their eyes filled with tears while their parents quietly left the room wanting to give them privacy and as soon as they were gone the nurse picked the baby up and gently placed him upside down on Louis' chest.

"There you go, he's such a quiet baby. I'll bring in a bottle in a few minutes but for now just let him be close to you." She smiled then left the room giving one last smile to Harry who only had eyes for Louis and their son.

"Look at him Harry." Louis whispered lifting his hand to wipe away his tears then wrapped it again around their son reaching down to kiss his tiny head.

"He is beautiful, tinier than Evan when he was born." Harry leaned closer to be at eye level with his son's face and gently kissed one of his tiny hands resting on Louis' chest.

He was dressed in the tiniest blue onesie they had ever seen wrapped in a hospital blanket and on his head a tiny white hat. He still had his eyes closed and had the tiniest nose and pouty lips still too soon to figure out who he looked like more.

"It looks like a lot of hair." Harry chuckled and a few seconds later Louis followed when he saw the wavy ends of his dark brown hair.

The baby moved his tiny head around and a few seconds later his tiny face scrunched up and just like that he started crying squirming around on Louis' chest.

"Oh you poor thing." Louis cooed trying to lift him. "Harry could you hold him. I need to sit up."

Harry nodded taking Owen in his arms smiling when he quickly stopped crying then seconds later started crying again. He helped Louis sit up careful not to hurt him and when he was comfortable he sat down on the chair with Owen still in his arms seeing him opening his eyes for a fraction of a second not giving him enough time to see them. He felt awful all of a sudden for not picking them when Dr. Lane had made him choose but in that moment he had been desperate and now the guilt was eating him alive.

"I think he's hungry." Harry mumbled and got up to give him back to Louis just as the nurse walked in with a bottle in her hand.

"Here's the bottle dear, do you need anything?" She asked him handing the bottle to Louis.

"Do you know anything about my other two babies?" Louis asked looking down to make sure Owen was comfortable and eating without any problems.

"The nurses in charge of them just fed Leighton and Lexie has to be fed through a tube in her nose to keep her from losing weight. That will help her get better and it doesn't hurt her so don't worry. They are in good hands and together, as soon as you feel a bit better someone will come to take you both to see them." She said and when they nodded she left.

They fell into a comfortable silence waiting for Owen to finish eating and as soon as he did Louis gently patted his back to make sure he would be comfortable letting him sleep in his arms not wanting to give him up just yet. He smiled at Harry when he moved closer to them and just watched their baby sleep, both of them chuckling when somehow his little arms managed to escape the blanket resting one of them against Louis' chest.

Louis being the curious person he had always been took Owen's hat off getting surprised when he saw wavy dark brown hair covering his head. He ran his fingers through it smiling when Owen let out a small content sigh bringing his tiny hands close to his lips and seconds later started sucking on his left thumb.

"He likes to suck on his thumb too." Louis happily told Harry making his husband smile.

"Do you think the girls have as much hair as him, can't really tell from the picture." Harry said.

"I hope so, hope this one has curly hair...looks like he will 'cause Logan's was like this when she was born." Louis quietly said letting Harry put his hat back on.

When Louis' arms started going a little numb he had Harry hold their son until he decided to let him sleep in the bassinet staying silent when he noticed Louis had fallen asleep. Almost an hour later he smiled and got up to fix his son's blanket when he saw his tiny arms moving around still not getting the hang of it. He tried to hurry up when he whimpered shaking his head when he noticed the tiny scratch by his left eye.

"You need your mittens sweetheart, you almost clawed your eye out." Harry said moving to grab a white pair from the bag.

He kissed his tiny hand before putting them on and as soon as they were in place he wrapped the blanket around him so he would be comfortable. He had just taken a seat when he heard a knock on the door then his and Louis' parents walked in holding flowers and pink and blue balloons going straight to the baby when Harry motioned them to as he smiled.

"Look at all that hair, Jay." Anne smiled picking him up into her arms while the other three grandparents observed over her shoulder already so in love with him.

"Wait till Evan meets him, baby brother is all he talks about." Jay said and a few minutes later took her into her arms.

"Any news on the girls?" Mark asked them as he waved his grandson's tiny arm around.

"We're gonna go see them later and I was wondering if all of you could stay here with Owen." Louis said getting eager nods in return.

"Make sure you give them lots of kisses from us." Robin smiled waiting for his turn to hold him.

"We do have a picture!" Harry exclaimed. "Dr. Lane said they were born holding hands and she took a picture, also told us that they cry every time they separate them...they're really attached to each other."

Both Louis and Harry smiled seeing all four of them cooing over the picture and even some tears were shed. A few minutes later the same nurse from earlier showed up with a wheelchair letting Harry help Louis into it then left leaving their parents with Owen so they could meet their daughters. They were disinfected then both Harry and the nurse put hospital scrubs on then allowed into the room where they could see two incubators in the middle of the room.

"Your baby Lexie has a little tube in her nose but don't worry about it, she's doing excellent and a few minutes ago her ventilator was removed since she's breathing on her own now. If she keeps getting better and both gain as much weight as their brother then you might be able to take them home in a week or so." The nurse explained.

Both men froze as soon as they were standing in front of the incubator where they could see the tiniest babies laying down next to each other. The biggest one who they knew was Leighton was only wearing a diaper and a pink hat, and the smallest one had on a white hat with a tiny flower design on the side.

They didn't say anything and just watched them until the nurse asked them if they wanted to hold them letting her put them underneath Louis' hospital gown so they could be closer to him. Harry stepped back letting Louis hold them first watching the nurse as she placed a few blankets over them and once Louis had them in his arms he burst out crying seeing how tiny Lexie was. Harry wanted to say something but stayed quiet letting Louis let it all out until he calmed down kissing the top of their heads.

"Why are you standing all the way over there?" Louis sniffled focusing back on his babies as soon as Harry started walking closer.

"I was giving you time alone with them before I hog them." Harry said, his eyes widening when Lexie gave a few sudden kicks and moved her tiny head around as if searching for the source of the voice.

"Oh, daddy's right there baby girl." Louis cooed letting Harry get close to kiss them.

"So you were the one kicking all the time whenever I talked, huh?" Harry murmured getting a new reaction that only made him smile then turned to Leighton who looked extremely comfortable in Louis' warm hold. "Daddy loves you both, so so much."

"I want to see if they have any hair." Louis said out of nowhere making Harry chuckle.

Harry gently uncovered half of their heads getting a bit surprised at what he saw, he looked at Louis who was equally surprised.

"I was a blond when I was little, ask mum." Was all Harry said.

"They take after you then." Louis chuckled seeing the few tufts of blond hair on top of their heads then more hair evenly spread throughout their heads.

"How are we gonna tell them apart, they were just born but I wouldn't be able to tell them apart if it wasn't for their size differences right now." Harry happily sighed taking in their tiny identical features, smiling at how cute their tiny noses were and their lips that happened to be a bit pouty but not as much as Owen's.

"I think we'll just know, we're their parents after all." Louis shrugged.

When Harry got to hold them he had to sit down and if he cried a little when he finally had them in his arms then no one had to know. He made sure to keep them warm as he held his tiny daughters telling them stories about their older siblings. Both he and Louis kissed them one more time before they let the nurse put them back in the incubator and when she was sure both babies were okay and comfortable she took them back to Louis' room where their parents were still with Owen after making sure a nurse had stayed with the babies.

"Sweetheart," Jay said as soon as Louis was comfortable back in his bed, "We're gonna go, Gemma wants to come see you and don't worry abut the kids, we'll pick them up."

"Can't she bring them today with her?" Louis asked. "I know they can't see the girls yet but I want them to meet Owen."

"That's fine love, we'll let Gemma know."

"Thank you mum." Louis smiled.

As soon as Louis and Harry were alone was when Louis noticed Harry hadn't eaten anything all day and after a small argument Harry left to get something to eat outside the hospital returning with food from a fast food restaurant. He sat down to eat while Louis fed their son after a crying fit where he wouldn't stop until Louis finally started feeding him.

Later that afternoon Louis was moved to a different room where he would be more comfortable and as soon as the nurses had left Gemma showed up holding Evan with Logan walking next to her. She was holding a bag in her hands giving it to Harry telling him were clean clothes then placed Evan on the edge of the bed as he and Logan stared wided eyed at the baby Louis was holding. Logan was the first to move getting closer to them trying to look at the baby and seconds later smiled reaching to touch one of his tiny hands.

"Look Bubbie, its a baby boy. Its Owen." Logan happily said leaning down to give him a kiss and a few seconds later Evan crawled up to them peeking at the baby his daddy was holding.

"Owen, he's cute daddy." Evan giggled wanting to touch him but instead settled with poking his arm pulling his hand back when Owen started crying.

"And Lexie and Leighton?" Logan asked looking around the room while Evan slowly grabbed both of his brother's hands and started playing with them giggling when Owen yawned and blinked up at him.

"They're too tiny at the moment and they need to be in an incubator, it keeps them warm sweetheart." Louis answered letting her hug him and kiss his cheek.

"But they're okay, right?" Logan continued already getting worried that something could be wrong with her baby sisters.

"They're okay, they just need to get a little bit bigger." Louis answered watching her nod before her attention went back to her youngest brother.

"How are you feeling, Lou?" Gemma asked standing on his other side looking down at the baby while Harry changed in the bathroom.

"I feel so much better Gems, thanks for bringing them with you." Louis smiled letting her hold his baby.

"Mine." Evan narrowed his eyes looking at her as if she was the enemy while she held his brother.

"Bubbie, auntie Gemma just wants to hold him. She lets you hold little Hanna and now you have to let her hold Owen." Logan wrapped her arms around his waist pulling him back against her front.

"You'll get to hold him soon, baby." Louis smiled when Evan nodded and as soon as Logan let him go he snuggled up against Louis' side.

Gemma was still holding him and gushing about how cute he was when Harry walked in wearing clean clothes and Logan quickly walked up to him hugging him. Not wanting to feel left out Evan quickly made grabby hands at Harry pleased when Harry picked him up and went to sit with him and Logan on the couch.

When it was time for Logan and Evan to hold Owen there was a small argument between the two over who got to hold him first until Logan let him hold him first figuring out she would get to hold him longer. While Evan held him he made sure to stay as still as possible only talking to his brother to calm him down whenever he whimpered. When his arms started getting tired he gave him back to Harry telling him he was done holding him then got up so Gemma could take him to the vending machine.

"When do they get to go home?" Logan asked making sure she was holding her brother right not wanting to hurt him seeing how tiny he was.

"Maybe in a week or so." Louis answered as he smiled watching her hold him and kissing his tiny hand whenever Owen lifted his arm up into the air.

"I can't wait to meet them." Logan simply said already knowing that she wasn't allowed to see her sisters for now.

Gemma ended up going home a few hours later just when Zayn and Niall got there holding balloons and a few minutes later so did Liam and Eleanor. They patiently waited for their turn to hold Owen hopeful that they would get to hold his sisters in a week or so if they got to go home. The first to go were Niall and Zayn when they got a call from their babysitter and could hear Chloe throwing a fit wanting them home then left after Zayn explained how clingy she had gotten after they had explained the possibility of a new baby in the house.

As the week passed by Louis started getting better and fours days after he had given birth both Leighton and Lexie were moved to his room. Louis was so happy when he finally got to hold all three of them at the same time that he didn't let go for a full hour just wanting them close to him. Harry had almost cried when the pediatrician and Dr. Lane had told them Lexie's eyes were better and expected a full recovery finding out that out of all three of them she and Owen weren't carriers nor had it after her eyes started getting better enough to open them.

Both Louis and Harry had celebrated Logan's birthday in the hospital after she had insisted that a small cake was okay with her and even though Louis wanted something better he did as she wished. When they finally got to go home Jay, Mark, Robin and Gemma were already back in Doncaster wanting to stay but couldn't when they had jobs and kids to take care of. As soon as they were ready to go home Louis was on a wheelchair with Lexie's car seat on his lap while Harry had Owen and Leighton staring at the new vehicle in front of him and that Harry was now unlocking.

"Harry what is this? What happened to your car?" Louis asked looking at Harry as he placed the car seats on their spots in the backseat of the shiny black GMC Yukon and the nurse watched him making sure he knew how to do it.

"We don't have space for all of us plus I've had that Range Rover for years, it was time for an upgrade." Harry shrugged quickly shushing and giving Owen his pacifier when he started crying to keep him from waking his sister up.

As soon as all three babies were in the car Harry helped Louis into the backseat so he could be next to Lexie then thanked the nurse who congratulated them again then left. As soon as they were on the road Harry heard Louis sighing watching him through the rear view mirror as he looked around.

"I have to get a new car too, we're not gonna fit." Louis said looking like it was the end of the world.

"You do babe. We could get matching cars!" Harry exclaimed and all Louis did was nod because if it made Harry happy then who was he to say no.

When they got home Harry hadn't even parked when Evan was already running out of the house getting stopped by Anne who managed to grab him by the back of his shirt. She picked him up and set him down on top of the porch railing next to Fitzgerald then started explaining to him why it was important not to run in front of a moving vehicle while Logan patiently waited sitting down on the steps next to Buttercup.

Anne helped Louis into the house then helped bring Leighton's car seat into the house while Harry had Lexie and Owen putting them on the floor in front of where Louis was sitting in the keeping room. He was quick to take a picture and send it to Niall so he could see they were wearing the clothes he had gifted them getting a response right away from an overly excited Niall.

"Daddy can I hold them? Logan asked already unbuckling Lexie wanting to pick her up but waited for Harry to help her.

"Just be careful, love." Louis nodded watching Harry giving Lexie to her and seconds later Anne placed Leighton next to her sister and Harry was going crazy taking pictures of his daughters while Evan hogged Owen.

He was sitting in front of him leaning down to kiss his tiny hands then all over his face giggling when Owen sneezed getting a bit startled. He reached to unbuckle him and pick him up just when Louis stopped him telling him he had to sit down next to him getting a sour look in return. Evan crossed his arms over his chest but took a seat next to Louis nonetheless only smiling as soon as Owen was in his arms seeing Harry only had eyes for Logan, Lexie and Leighton.

"She hates that hat, this is the third time she pulls it off." Anne commented eyeing Leighton when she pulled her hat off blinking up at Logan with her bright blue eyes opposite of Owen's gray ones Louis was hoping would turn green.

"Ninna she looks funny with more hair on the top of her head than on the sides...and it's blond, no one in the family has blond hair." Logan stared at her being careful with Lexie knowing which one was which because of the pink and purple thread bracelets she had made for them, pink for Lexie and purple for Leighton.

"Your daddy Harry was a blond little thing when he was little, when you go visit me I'll show you his pictures. I'm gonna go make something to eat, you and Evan need to eat more, you're all skin and bones." Anne kissed the top of her head going to the kitchen to see what she could make.

"The house looks too clean." Louis commented looking around making sure both his sons were okay then looked back at Harry narrowing his eyes. "Harold please tell me you didn't let your mum clean the whole house."

"I didn't, I hired someone to come clean it." Harry quickly answered taking Lexie in his arms then took a seat next to Logan.

He placed her against his chest resting her tiny head by his shoulder sucking on her pacifier wiggling whenever Harry would talk and a few minutes later started falling asleep when Harry started rubbing her back. Leighton followed a few minutes later leaving Logan stuck with her not wanting to move her until Harry put Lexie in his Rock N Play sleeper then Leighton in her own next to her.

"Daddy I'm not done holding him." Evan pulled his brother away from Louis when he tried to grab him so he could go to sleep too not wanting them to have different sleeping schedules.

"I know baby but your brother has to go to sleep or he'll wake up your sisters when they're not supposed to."

Evan finally let out a heavy sigh letting Louis take him then he gave him to Harry so he could put him down in his sleeper next to Lexie leaving her in the middle. He was glad they had space for all the of them telling Logan and Evan to watch their pets afraid of them knocking their sleepers over watching Fitzgerald sit in front of them until he got up and lay down underneath Lexie's sleeper falling asleep.

As soon as they were asleep Logan and Evan didn't waste time going outside to jump on the trampoline taking Buttercup with them after he had been introduced to the newest members of the family. Harry helped his mum with the food still watching over them and Louis took a nap on the couch feeling his stitches hurting a bit.

He was woken up an hour later by a cry that quickly turned to two then three all at the same time, he slowly got up picking up the one closets to him that happened to be Leighton. He set her down on the couch on top of her blanket knowing she needed a diaper change and it was time to feed them.

"Need help, sweetheart? Harry's making their bottles." Anne walked in picking Lexie up kissing her tiny forehead then gave her to Louis taking a wide awake and calm Leighton putting her back in her sleeper then picked Owen up to change his diaper.

"Thank you. I just remembered we never told anybody their middle names." Louis said as he changed her diaper like a pro after the many he had changed before.

"You never did." Anne chuckled.

"Owen Caden, Leighton Grace and Lexie Anne." Louis gave her a smile watching her stop what she was doing to give him a teary and surprised look.

"You named her after me?" Anne asked feeling many emotions running through her body.

"Harry thought of it and I thought it would be perfect, it's the perfect name. Now we got three Anne's in the family." Louis said watching her nod still too overwhelmed with happiness.

"Food's ready." Harry cheerfully said walking into the room putting the three bottles on the coffee table then picked Owen up while his mum and Louis washed their hands coming back a few minutes later ready to feed the two girls.

"You are a hungry little baby, yes you are!" Harry cooed at Owen leaning down to kiss his tiny fist smiling when his eyes drooped a little stopping a few times to breathe.

"Where's Logan and Evan?" Louis asked kissing Lexie's forehead before he started feeding her while Anne fed Leighton.

"Evan's taking a nap and Logan's in her bedroom drawing." Anne answered making silly faces at her granddaughter who only blinked placing her tiny hand on top of Anne's hand.

When they were done feeding them they fell back asleep and as soon as they were comfortable in their sleepers Louis took a shower insisting that he could do it alone. Dinner that night was filled with laughs and a few crying fits mostly from Owen who would cry the most always followed by Leighton then Lexie who would calm down whenever she would hear Harry's voice or just by being held by him. They had found it adorable whenever she would fall asleep in Harry's arms then wake up and give him a betrayed look whenever he would put her down already too attached to him.

The next morning they were all exhausted after their long night yet none of them would change everything they had for the world. Just by looking at all five of their kids and the oldest two looking after their younger siblings was enough to make them the happiest people ever as they whispered how much they loved the other so low only they could hear it making it even more special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	16. Still into you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited, will do so later. :)

Three weeks after Louis had gotten back from the hospital and the triplets were nearing a month old, both Louis and Harry were exhausted only after a week since Anne had to leave when Robin injured himself while working. She had promised to come back as soon as she could knowing how hard it was to look after five kids, three of them barely a month old with only Louis to look after them for half the day while Harry was at work.

They would barely sleep during the night when Owen would keep waking up in a crying fit due to colic and when Lexie followed Louis just wanted to die feeling completely exhausted. He would stay up almost half of the night then wake up at the crack of dawn to tend to the babies then get the older ones ready for school. Harry would help him with breakfast along with starting the wash trying to get rid of the ever growing pile of baby clothes along with the rest of their clothes after many spit up incidents. By the time it was time to go he would leave the kitchen clean so Louis didn't have to do it then come back after picking up both kids from school to help him bath and feed their babies along with helping the older ones with homework.

When it was time to go to bed both of them would fall asleep after putting their babies to sleep in one of the cribs Harry had to bring down from their nursery wanting them to be together since it calmed them down. By morning Evan would be snuggled up against Louis or sleeping by their feet with his teddy bear close to him making Louis remember that he had yet to get the triplets their own teddy bears.

********

"Daddy I want to help." Evan insisted watching Louis undress Leighton out of her purple onesie that matched the ones Lexie was wearing as she and Owen laid in their crib waiting for their turn to be bathed.

"Sure bunny, you can pour shampoo in my hand when I tell you to. Okay?" Louis smiled down at his son who eagerly nodded.

"When's daddy and Loggie coming back?" He asked waiting for Louis holding the bottle of shampoo in his hands.

"Soon, they need to buy a lot of things from the store." Louis answered gently placing Leighton down in the baby bathtub gently pouring water over her making sure not to get it on her face chuckling when her eyes widened and her lips parted a little in surprise. "Okay, you can pour it now but just a little."

Evan did as told then when he was done he closed the shampoo lid putting it aside, he leaned against the bathtub watching his sister squirm around while Louis cleaned her. He reached down to help him wash in between her toes making her pull them away in surprise folding her legs against her belly.

"Daddy?" Evan gasped looking at Louis wide eyed then back at his sister. "Where's her willy?" He asked making Louis smile in amusement.

"Your sisters are girls and don't have a willy, only boys have a willy." Louis patiently explained then glanced at the screen of the baby monitor where he could see Lexie and Owen wide awake snuggling close together.

"Oh...okay." Evan opened his mouth in the shape of an O as he nodded.

He gave Louis space when he was done then followed him to his bedroom where he already had their things on the bed. He sat down with her in his arms trying to dry her and when he was done he got up setting her down on the bed shushing her when she started crying doing so when Evan gently put her pacifier in her mouth. When he was done changing her into clean pink footed pajamas opting for leaving the hat out to let her hair completely dry then grabbed Lexie quickly undressing her leaving Leighton next to Owen.

Her bath was different from her sister's when all she did was cry throughout it until she was dressed again and next to Leighton. He was in the middle of bathing a happy Owen when he heard the door opening then footsteps making Evan shot up from his spot running to the kitchen to see if Harry had brought him his special snacks. Minutes later, when Louis was changing Owen who was blinking up at Louis with his greenish blue eyes that Harry had defined them as being an aqua color when they finally changed, Evan walked back in holding a tiny bag of fruity snacks. Logan walked in a few minutes later going straight to the crib smiling down at her sisters when she saw Leighton's tiny arm across Lexie's chest.

"Do you need any help, daddy? Other daddy's putting away the groceries." Logan finally looked at him.

"Not right now, sweetheart. I'm done bathing them. Did you made sure daddy didn't forget to buy more baby wipes?" Louis asked placing Owen down in the crib next to Lexie.

"He got everything." Logan said.

Louis nodded as he smiled going back to the bathroom to get the baby monitor then made his way to the kitchen followed by Evan and Logan after he made sure the babies were okay and comfortable.

"Need any help?" Louis asked as soon as he entered the kitchen seeing Harry putting away cans of formula noticing the big box of diapers and baby wipes by the door making him sigh at just how many diapers the triplets went through per day.

"Just need help putting away the diapers and baby wipes. Are you okay? Are they asleep?" Harry asked and just as Louis was about to open his mouth he heard Owen crying letting Harry go and get him as soon as he started walking there.

Minutes later he came back with a fussy baby in his arms lightly bouncing him up and down continuing what he had been doing while Louis only smiled grabbing the boxes to put away in the corner of their bedroom next to the changing table they also had in there.

He made his way to the crib and stared at his daughters glad that for once they were quiet only moving their arms up into the air or kicking with their legs a few times. He smiled when Leighton squirmed moving a little to her side right on top of Lexie making her squirm whimpering a little then her face scrunched up ready to cry. Louis was fast to pick her up to keep her from crying only to groan in frustration when Leighton started crying feeling only empty space next to her.

"Nono, don't cry bunny Leigh, she's right here. See." Louis quickly placed Lexie down next to her closing his eyes when she didn't stop crying like the many times before.

"Please just shut up. For once in your life shut up." Louis said almost in tears feeling the exhaustion and frustration catching up to him.

"Lou?" Harry walked in with a worried expression slowly making his way to them carefully picking Leighton up having heard Louis through the monitor.

"I'm sorry! She just cries for every single little thing...all of them do and I'm tired, I'm exhausted and she won't shut up." Louis started crying when Harry only stared at him with worried eyes.

"Its okay, I understand love. I'm going to take them so you can take a nap, we'll be downstairs in the playroom." Harry said placing Leighton down on the bed to get Lexie and as soon as he turned around Louis already had Leighton in his arms.

"No, that's not fair to you." Louis said already feeling a headache coming in just by having Leighton screaming his ear off.

"You need rest, I got them plus Logan can help me with them. You know she loves holding them and taking care of them." Harry insisted and just when Louis was about to open his mouth Harry gently kissed him shutting him up. "Go to sleep."

"Okay, but if you need help come wake me up." Louis finally agreed noticing the way Harry sighed in relief.

He gave him the baby feeling guilty when he sighed in relief no longer hearing her cries then got on the bed closing his eyes. When he opened them again he glanced at the empty crib then grabbed his phone to check the time noticing a text from his mum, he quickly replied then got up stretching as he made his way to the bathroom having slept for four hours straight.

He brushed his teeth then washed his face and when he was done he made his way downstairs furrowing his brow when he could only hear the tv. When he walked in the first thing he saw were the three baby swings on one side of the room gently rocking his sleeping babies then Evan asleep on the couch. He smiled at Harry and Logan who were talking in quiet voices looking down at her tablet and on Harry's side was his laptop where Louis could see he had been looking at their bank account.

"Hey, did you sleep well?" Harry asked as soon as he noticed him standing by the door.

"Yeah. What are you guys doing?" Louis smiled making his way to them where he took a seat next to Logan wrapping an arm around her.

"I was showing daddy my comic and the papers you and him have to sign for school." Logan said leaning her head on his chest.

"What papers?" Louis asked glad that it was friday afternoon.

"The papers." Harry said eyeing them as if they had all kinds of viruses.

"Its for that lesson on the puberty, Tabitha said they're gonna tell us when we're gonna grow boobs." Logan shrugged then furrowed her brow before she made a face expressing her distaste. "I don't wanna grow boobs, aunt Lottie always complains 'cause she can't sleep on her stomach, I like sleeping like that and if I grow boobs I won't be able to."

"That' something you can't control, love." Louis said running his fingers through her hair.

"Well I don't want to so I'm not growing them." Logan decided.

"Bug, if they grow then they grow. Nothing you can do about it." Harry chuckled taking the papers to read them.

Louis chuckled glad that the subject wasn't awkward for them since they had grown up surrounded by women and that was something he was thankful of. Thanks to them they knew how to help their daughter whenever she needed it even though that didn't stop Harry from being an overprotective father only wanting the best for their daughter.

"I remember when we talked about this in school." Harry said as he signed them giving them to Louis so he could sign them too.

"Giggles everywhere." Louis continued as he signed then gave them to her smiling when she thanked them.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, I'll be right back." Logan got up taking her stuff with her then left leaving them alone.

They watched her go and as soon as she was out of ear shot Louis let out a loud sigh scooting closer to Harry resting his head on his shoulder. They stayed quiet enjoying the silence until Harry wrapped an arm around Louis' shoulders and soon Louis was sitting on his lap hiding his face on his chest.

"I'm such a horrible father." Louis' voice cracked at the end unable to relax like the many times before when Harry started rubbing his back.

"You are a great father." Harry corrected him.

"What kind of great father tells his one month old to shut up, its not her fault...she didn't ask to be born that's why I shouldn't be getting frustrated with her. I'm the one who decided to get knocked up and birth her." Louis furiously said missing the guilt flashing across Harry's face.

"You were tired, it happens to all of us plus its three babies you're taking care of. You're not a robot Louis." Harry said trying to make him feel better.

"But I'm awful, when she was crying I just," Louis grabbed fistfuls of Harry's shirt feeling guilty and ashamed, "I just wished she...she would disappear and that's monstrous."

"You were tired." Harry insisted feeling like he was going to explode if he didn't confessed what he had done."

"But I would never wish that on my own children, I would pick them over my own life...and I know you would do the same. Pick them over me and even your own life." Louis continued finally gathering enough courage to look at Harry only to see him already in tears.

He frowned in confusion seeing the guilt written all over his face, he had the same expression from all those years back when they had met again and he had begged him for forgiveness.

"What's wrong?" Louis asked.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Harry hid his face on Louis' chest almost making him fall backwards managing to hold himself and Harry up.

"Why are you crying? Harry you're scaring." Louis' voice trembled.

"I picked you over them! I- I didn't know what to do...I was- I was desperate and I didn't want to lose you." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist pressing their bodies together refusing to let go when Louis tried to push him back.

"I don't understand. What are you talking about?" Louis started getting worried the more Harry cried against his chest, he heard a tiny whimper glancing at the babies seeing Owen moving a little before he went still again and continued sleeping. 

"When they were born," Harry started, his voice getting muffled by the fabric of Louis' shirt, "The doctor...she- she told me I had to pick who she should save in case something went wrong and I picked you and not them. I'm so sorry! I couldn't lose you." 

It was like a slap to the face the moment he heard those words, he tried pulling away and making Harry look at him but couldn't when Harry clung to him like a small frightened child. He felt his chest aching trying to take it in without saying and doing something he would regret later on. Part of him wanted to scream at Harry and hate him but the other knew how Harry must have felt. He knew what it was like to lose him and go through a funeral even if it had only been a dream so instead of pushing him away he only wrapped his arms around him.

"I don't hate you okay...I'm- I'm just disappointed and a little bit angry. I know it must've been hard and I don't blame you." Louis kissed the top of his head letting him cry.

"I'm so sorry." Harry kept repeating.

"We're all fine and its what matters now." Louis kissed the top of his head hugging him until he calmed down enough to properly function.

Louis got up coming back with a box of tissues handing a few to Harry who cleaned his face until he got up heading to the bathroom to wash his face. When he got back Evan was already awake sitting on Louis' lap rubbing his eyes then rested his head on his chest still looking around with a sleepy expression.

"C'mere." Louis opened his arms for Harry smiling a little when his husband rushed to him letting him hug him.

"I was desperate." Harry mumbled pressing his body against Louis' wrapping an arm around him and Evan who was still trying to fully wake up.

"I know and I understand, okay? I don't hate you, I know you think that I do but I don't. I love you." Louis started rubbing his back hearing him sigh.

"I love you too, all of you." Harry mumbled lifting his head up to kiss Louis' neck.

"Daddy, kiss me too." Evan puckered up his lips smiling when Harry leaned in to let him kiss his cheek, the smile widening when Harry picked him up kissing all over his face.

"No kiss for me?" Louis pouted looking at his son who only giggled before he nodded reaching up to kiss his cheeks.

Evan wrapped an arm around Louis' neck and the other around Harry's bringing them closer so he could kiss both their cheeks until he got tired and started squirming. They let him go watching him walk up to his siblings looking at them for a few seconds then plopped down next to them taking out a puzzle. He stayed there until he finished it and by that time Logan had rejoined them going straight for his sisters who were awake and flailing their arms around while Owen was in Louis' arms.

"Daddy I don't want to take a bath." Evan pouted as soon as Harry had gotten up to take him upstairs.

"You have to or you're gonna be all stinky." Harry placed his hands on his hips then picked him taking him upstairs not even giving him time to throw a fit.

"Daddy I think they're hungry." Logan said watching her sisters sucking on their whole fist wondering how did it even fit in their mouths.

"Stay here with them while I go make their bottles." Louis said getting up from his spot placing Owen back in his swing before he left knowing Logan wouldn't pick them up unless they were there to help her.

The following days were uneventful except for when Logan got back from school telling them all about the puberty that she had learned about in school. She had expressed her distaste about periods then had told Louis about how babies were really made and as soon as she started asking questions Louis looked like a cherry. Lucky for him, Harry had saved him when he walked into the room asking her if she was ready for him to drop her off at Alex's house for the sleepover with her friends.

~*~

"She won't stop asking until I tell her." Louis paced back and forth in front of Harry who had Lexie in his arms trying to hold his squirming daughter.

"Then tell her," Harry shrugged then raised his brow when Louis gave him a scandalous look, "Do you really think she still believes we hug tight to make babies."

"Yes. She can't grow up, she needs to stay a ten year old forever." Louis said on the verge of a freak out.

Harry simply smiled and got up placing Lexie down in the crib next to her siblings then made his way to Louis wrapping his arms around his waist, "She won't love, she'll grow up and go off to uni then hopefully she'll find a nice man or whoever she likes and form her own family."  
"Whoever she likes, as long as he or she treats her right." Louis agreed, a smile slowly forming on his lips.

Harry hummed in agreement about to turn Louis around and kiss him but couldn't when he heard the cries coming from the crib. He kissed him anyway then made his way to his babies finding Leighton crying her tiny heart out clinging to Lexie who was as calm as her brother.

"What's wrong boo? You want a cuddle, yes you do." Harry cooed at her picking her up then walked around their bedroom with her in his arms.

Louis smiled hearing him humming a lullaby then took a seat on the rocking chair slowly rocking himself and her until she calmed down. She slowly fell asleep yet Harry made no attempt at moving just staying there with her in his arms watching her sleep. He was still sitting when Evan walked in pouting when he saw Harry holding her again and Louis internally groaned as soon as he saw him drop his teddy bear and make his way towards them.

"Daddy, I'm sleepy." Evan said expecting him to drop her and hold him instead.

"You just woke up from your nap." Harry said getting up to let Leighton sleep then turned around just as Evan clung to his leg.

"But I'm sleepy again, you need to hold me too." He said only smiling when Harry picked him up cradling him against his chest like a baby.

"Oh my poor baby." Harry held him tighter while Evan enjoyed the attention. "Why don't we go outside and play a little football, or we can jump in the trampoline until we get tired and sweaty and we smell bad."

"Babies smell bad...when they poop." Evan scrunched up his nose in disgust remembering when his daddy Louis had changed Owen's diaper in front of him.

"You were a stinky baby too." Louis walked up to them tickling his tummy a little making him giggle.

"Logan's stinky." Evan said in such a serious tone it made them laugh.

"I heard that," Logan walked into the room with a popsicle in her hand pausing to look at her brother then smirked, " At least I don't eat my boogers."

There was a pause before Evan started crying telling them and swearing on all his power ranger's action figures that he did not like eating boogers.

"Yes you do, I saw you the other day." Logan continued casually leaning against the door frame eating her popsicle.

"Do not!" 

"Do too." Logan said rolling her eyes.

"Quit it both of you." Harry finally put a stop to it hugging Evan close to get him to stop crying.

"I don't eat them daddy." Evan hiccuped.

"I'm sorry bubbie, here, you can have a bit." Logan rushed over to him shoving the popsicle in Evan's mouth before he even had time to open it.  
She let him have a bit before she pulled it away and took a seat on the rocking chair wondering when would the day where her siblings would stop sleeping all day would come. After spending almost half an hour sitting there she finally made her way outside following Evan who had insisted on jumping on the trampoline while Harry busied himself giving Buttercup a bath.

That night Louis laid in bed with a sleeping Owen on his chest after he had fed him and Harry had both of their daughters on top of a blanket in between them. After pondering for a few minutes he finally got up to put him in his crib followed by Harry who ended up needing his help when he had two babies in his arms. Once they were back in bed with with the lights turned off Harry starting to fall asleep opening his eyes when he heard Louis' voice just above a whisper.

"You know that time of the month where we fûck like rabbits?" Louis asked without feeling embarrassed after years spent with Harry.

"Yeah, best days of the month." Harry mumbled turning over on his side to spoon Louis wrapping his arm around him and nuzzling his face on the back of his neck.

"Well today is one of those days." Louis finally said hoping for Harry to get the hint.

Harry seemed to think about it for a few seconds before he lifted his head up trying to look at Louis even though it was dark.

"Like now?" He asked seeing the outline of Louis' head nodding then his gaze focused on the crib.

"Not here though...do we have stuff in the bathroom?"

"What? Of course not here, in the bathroom." Louis rolled his eyes even though Harry couldn't see him then started squirming when his little problem down there only seemed to grow.

After that, Harry didn't waste time getting up and rushing to the bathroom pulling Louis with him by the hand like a pair of teenagers sneaking out to do the naughty like Harry had referred to one night a year ago. As soon as he had locked the door Louis was already sticking his hand down his sweatpants pushing him against the wall not even bothering to turn the light on.

They seemed to forget they had to be more quiet the moment Harry pulled Louis' pajama bottoms down along with his briefs then picked him up placing him on top of the counter-top rummaging through one of the drawers until he found a bottle of lube knowing it was it since it was the only bottle he kept in there. He didn't waste any time coating his fingers with it then slowly inserted a finger inside of Louis hearing the tiny gasp escaping past his lips that he was quick to kiss.

He took his time adding another making sure Louis wasn't hurting and when he was three fingers deep in him Louis was already a mess underneath him begging him to somehow go deeper. Harry took his fingers out lowering his sweatpants down feeling some sort of relief after all he had done was touch himself a few times, he closed his eyes in pleasure as he coated himself with enough lube then took his sweet time putting on a condom.

"Hurry up!" Louis said then reached for him grabbing him by the waist pulling him forward.

He moaned as soon as Harry was inside of him almost hitting his head on the mirror if it hadn't been for Harry stopping him. He stayed still enjoying the feeling then wrapped his legs around his waist urging him to start moving going as far as holding onto Harry's hips to keep him from completely pulling out every time he slammed into him. 

Harry leaned down intending to take Louis' shirt off getting stopped when Louis quickly smacked his hands away and without saying anything continued thrusting into him. He quickly found Louis' prostate feeling himself getting closer as he nipped on Louis' skin right over his collarbones then his chest so sure of himself that he had left a mark behind knowing how sensible his skin was.

Louis tangled his fingers through Harry's hair pulling on them letting out a loud moan when Harry's thrusts became erratic and sloppy stopping him as soon as he felt his lips just beneath his jaw.

"Not right there." Louis hissed and without thinking lifted his hand up and brought it back down right on Harry's ass only hearing the loud smack making Harry stop moving altogether only hearing their panting.

"Did you just..." Harry trailed off still feeling the sting until something inside of him snapped turning him on even more, "Holy shit!"

Louis didn't even had time to apologize when Harry pulled out of him and picked him up almost dropping him on the floor. He wanted to yell at him bracing himself for the cold floor but all he felt was the bathroom mat underneath him then Harry's côck deep inside of him again as he fûcked his brains out right there on their bathroom floor.

It wasn't long before Louis was coming followed by Harry who didn't stop moving his hips until he was done then let himself rest on top of Louis, both of them trying to catch their breaths.

"Fûck, that was great." Louis said still trying to catch his breath.

"Yeah? You should smack me harder next time." Harry said giving him a quick kiss nearly jumping out of his skin when he heard the doorknob jiggling.

"Daddies? I'm sleeping here." Evan said still trying to open the door.

"Uh...okay sweetheart, you go sleep...I'll- we'll be right there." Louis squeaked blushing a million shades of red wanting the floor to swallow him whole when he felt Harry quickly pulling out of him.

"Okay," Evan said then jiggled the doorknob one more time before he asked what Louis had been dreading, "What are you doing?"

"I'm...we're, go to bed buddy. Daddy's gonna take a shower then be right there." Harry said completely mortified.

"Okay!" Evan said then made his way towards the bed.

Louis and Harry didn't waste time taking a quick shower as fast as they could and when they were done they slowly opened the door seeing Evan already passed out in the middle of the bed. They joined him not saying a word until they were under the covers and Louis started laughing followed by Harry not even knowing why. With one last kiss they fell asleep somehow glad none of the other kids had woken up knowing Evan would forget about it by the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> This story only has a few chapters left, less than three or four and there will be a time jump, I don't know at what point in the story but there will be one.


	17. Nobody loves you the way I do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter and i have writer's block but I wanted to post something. There will probably be a time jump next chapter meaning years. Enjoy! :)

***One Month Later***

Just like they had predicted, Evan forgot all about the night before and they were free to continue with their lives. Logan had rejoined a karate class after they had stopped taking her when she was younger pouting when she had found out Alex was way ahead of her. Evan had insisted on joining too forcing Louis and Harry to manage his time between football and karate.

He had assimilated so well and loved it so much he couldn't help but get in trouble with Harry after he had picked them up from their third lesson that week when he had hit him on the back of his thighs as hard as he could it even made Logan flinch. Harry had just turned around to look at him with narrowed eyes before he grabbed him by the hand pulling him towards the car with Logan hurrying after them.

"You're in time out as soon as wet get home and no buts, Landon." Harry scolded him waiting for the light to turn and as soon as he did he sped home.

Logan raised her brows when all Evan did was shrug looking out the window and as soon as they were home he had unbuckled himself and was out of the car. When Harry walked inside his son was already sitting next to Louis playing with Lexie's feet kissing the bottom of her left foot making her coo at him.

"Time out. Now." Harry placed his hands on his hips watching him until Evan got up huffing rather loudly then went to sit on his time out spot glaring at him.

"What happened?" Louis asked leaning back holding Lexie upright against his chest making sure to hold the back of her head kissing one of her tiny hands when she grabbed his lips.

"Bubbie beat daddy up." Logan giggled quickly sobering up when Harry gave her a pointed look.

"He hit me even when I warned him not to do so! If he keeps doing it he can kiss karate classes goodbye." Harry said before he made his way to the kitchen to grab something to drink leaving Louis and Logan behind.

Louis sighed getting up to put Lexie in her swing leaving Logan with them then made his way to the kitchen walking by Evan who was still staring at Harry. He stopped in front of him ready to talk about what to do with their son knowing that ever since he had started his classes he had gotten a little violent especially towards Harry.

"You think we should pull him out?" Louis asked waiting for Harry to finish drinking his water.

"We'll talk to him and if he doesn't stop he's out." Harry said seeing Louis nodding in agreement.

Almost fifteen minutes later Evan was allowed out of his time out spot and after a long talk and a lot of crying and apologies he was allowed to go play. Meanwhile, Logan had used that time to spend time with her siblings making sure to divide her time evenly between them even though they didn't know what was going on.

A few days later Louis got to finally get out of the house which was the day the triplets officially turned two months old on April eleventh deciding to at least go to the park. It had taken an insane amount of planning not wanting to forget anything or have something go wrong and not be prepared for it.

Harry had ended up loading the stroller in his car then had helped Louis with the babies making sure to double check everything. They ended up leaving almost an hour later and as soon as they had gotten there Louis had jumped out of the car needing fresh air.

He looked around seeing all the families with their children and a few dogs around making a mental note to always keep Buttercup in his leash. He took a deep breath turning around to help get the car seats out while Harry was trying to assemble the stroller glad that they had one for triplets.

"How the fück do you set this crap up." Harry muttered pulling on it until he got it right then smiled pleased with the results.

"Language, Harold." Louis scolded him glad that Evan was busy making silly faces at Owen.

As soon as the babies were in the stroller, Evan walking next to them holding onto it and Logan holding tight onto Buttercup's leash was when they finally started walking around the park following the trail. They walked in silence for a few minutes until they ended up in a playground letting Evan go and play with the other children. They took a seat on a bench with Logan sitting next to Louis on the edge of the bench petting Buttercup and giving him all her attention.

"Do you think they'll be fine if we take them out?" Harry asked eyeing a squirmy Leighton smiling as soon as she held onto his pinkie finger.

"Yeah, the weather's perfect." Louis agreed reaching for Owen stopping when he saw he looked a bit drowsy then reached for Lexie who was wide awake like her sister.

As soon as Louis had her in his arms she curled up her legs until she was against Louis' chest resting her head on it. Harry on the other hand already had Leighton sitting on his lap and after he fixed her tiny pink cardigan similar to Lexie's, he started pointing at things telling her all about them.

All Louis did was smile placing Lexie on his lap next to her sister watching him describing every single little thing to them. He was sure Harry was finally getting to enjoy showing his daughters the world from an early age, something he had missed out on with Logan. He was still smiling as he picked Owen up giving him his pacifier as soon as he had started fussing.

Logan moved from her spot to sit next to Harry while Louis kept an eye on Evan hearing Harry and their daughter talking about her karate classes and anything that came to her mind. He followed Evan with his eyes smiling when he started chasing a girl his age around the playground then disappeared inside the crawl tube after her.

"I don't like people looking at us." Logan said out of nowhere shifting uncomfortably on her spot.

"They're just looking at your siblings." Louis said noticing a few women looking at them and smiling and didn't hesitated before he smiled back.

"I don't like them looking at them." Logan continued crossing her arms over her chest.

"Its okay, love. They're not gonna hurt them." Louis simply said knowing how protective she was of all four of her siblings.

"Where did Bubbie Evan go, huh? Where?" Harry cooed at Leighton and Lexie who kicked a few times letting out cute baby sounds.

Seconds later all that was heard was the sound of Leighton's tiny hand smacking against Harry's cheek before she started fussing. She stopped as soon as she was pressed up against Lexie grabbing one of her tiny hands leaning against her. Louis was still keeping an eye on Evan when he saw him coming out from a different crawl tube making his way to them while the little girl with curly red hair rushed to her mother.

"Daddies! Ice cream, can we get ice cream." Evan rushed out pointing towards an ice cream truck on the other side of the playground.

"I'll go get him some, you guys want ice cream too?" Harry asked them letting Louis hold Lexie then placed Leighton on Logan's lap where she immediately stopped squirming comfortable in Logan's hold.

As soon as Louis and Logan had nodded, Harry grabbed Evan by the hand making his way to get the ice cream where there was a line already. Once he was in the front he ordered four ice cream cones of different flavors then paid after he had given Evan the one for him making his way back to Louis.

He furrowed his brow when he saw a man standing in front of them making him walk faster then relaxed when a pregnant woman and a little boy walked up to them grabbing the man's hand. Louis said something then smiled at them before they left making their way to their car. Once he was there he gave Logan her ice cream cone along with his own after he made Evan hold Louis'. He took Leighton putting her in her seat then Lexie and Owen so Louis could eat his ice cream watching him take it from Evan before thanking him.

"Who was that?" Harry asked as soon as he was sitting next to Louis.

"His wife is expecting triplets and they just came here to talk, they were asking what it was like." Louis said resting his head on Harry's shoulder.

Harry only nodded putting his arm around Louis' shoulder watching their babies lull themselves to sleep and Logan and Evan sitting next to each other. When Evan was done eating his ice cream he went back to play with the little girl whom they learned her name was Eliza.

Almost an hour later they left the park already tired from the long day and as soon as they were home Louis and Harry gave the babies a bath then Louis supervised Evan's bath letting Logan shower in his bathroom. They quickly fell asleep expecting Evan to show up but he never did after Jeremy had told him only babies slept with their parents and god forbid people think he was still a baby. He was only their baby in private.

When the triplets turned four months old in june, Louis was getting ready to go back to work the upcoming school year after he and Harry had agreed to enroll the babies in a daycare by the time they would be six months old. That summer he spent it home with his kids glad that now he and Harry could get a full night sleep and weren’t so tired anymore. Leighton and Lexie’s hair had stayed blonde and straight while Owen’s had curled up more making him look like a tiny version of Harry also being the troublemaker out of all the three having gotten the habit of pulling their hair or getting a bit rough with his sisters.

Evan absolutely loved spending time together with them during their tummy time playing with them until he would get bored and go grab Fitzgerald carrying him everywhere while the cat struggled to get out of his grasp. Logan had gotten obsessed with Taylor Swift blasting Blank space in her bedroom or in the car whenever the babies weren’t there driving Harry completely crazy.

“So its gonna be forever, or its gonna go down in flames. You can tell me when its over, if the high was worth the pain. Got a long list of ex-lovers, they’ll tell you I’m insane. Cause you know I love the players, and you love the game!” Logan sang at the top of her lungs while Harry tried not to turn it off after he had picked them up from their karate lessons. He glanced at Evan through the rear view mirror seeing and hearing him singing along not as loud as Logan.

“Logan, sweetheart. Can we-” Harry started.

“Cherry lips, crystal skies. I could show you incredible things. Stolen kisses, pretty lies. You’re the king, baby I’m your queen. find out what you want, be that girl for a month but the worst is yet to come. Oh no. Screaming, crying, perfect storms. i could make the tables turn. Rose garden filled with thorns, keep you second guessing like oh my god. who is she? I get drunk on jealousy. But you’ll come back each time you leave, cause darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream- hey!” Logan shouted when silence filled the car and the only one left singing was her.

“Can we please listen to something else? Anything. I’ll even listen to Little Mix on repeat but please. We’ve been listening to that song for the past three days.” Harry said on the verge of a meltdown while Logan watched him with narrowed eyes.

“Okay!” Logan finally said and soon enough ‘Move’ started playing.

Harry sighed fighting the urge to speed up just to get home sooner and hole himself up in his and Louis’ bedroom with earplugs to keep himself from hearing either Taylor Swift or Little Mix.

“Daddy, play Let It Go.” Evan said from the backseat making Harry want to cry and slam his head against the steering wheel just once.  
Just once would be enough.

“No, I’m sitting in the front seat and that means I get to play whatever I want.” Logan glared at him turning the volume up when ‘Salute’ started playing.

“Its my turn!” Evan pouted already holding the Frozen album in his tiny hands.

“Sucks for you, I got here first.” Logan said trying to ignore him when he started crying.

“Logan its my turn. Daddy!” Evan wailed just as Harry stopped at a red light.

“Logan let him listen to it, you never let him listen to anything he likes.” Harry said reaching for the album sighing when Evan stopped crying as soon as he took it.

“I don’t like what he likes. Frozen is for babies.” Logan said.

“You love Frozen, and you’re not a baby.” Harry looked at her seeing her cheeks tinting a bit red.

“Fine.” Logan finally said taking her Little Mix cd out.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Harry smiled.

When they got home they found Louis making lunch while the babies were in their jumpers by the kitchen table too engrossed with all the bright buttons and the little jungle animals. As soon as Harry had walked through the door since he had to pick up all of their stuff, Evan was already on his knees in front of Owen kissing all over his face while Logan was in front of Leighton and Lexie playing with them until she made a face.

“I think bunny Leigh went poo poo.” Logan slowly scooted backwards then got up walking away from them.

“I’ll change her.” Harry said seeing Louis busy then picked her up ignoring when she started crying having gotten interrupted when she was in the middle of playing.

“What?” Louis asked seeing Harry standing in the middle of the room with her in his arms making a face.

“She stinks, like really bad.” Harry said holding her at arms length.

“She just took a shi- she just pooped. Of course its gonna stink, she doesn’t poop flowers Harold.” Louis rolled his eyes.

“No, smell her.” Harry walked up to him putting her a few inches away from Louis and that was enough to make him gag.

“Jesus, what has she been eating.” Louis took a step back, “Go change her, don’t leave her like that.”

As soon as Harry was gone Louis let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding while Harry tried not to breathe as he changed her diaper using more baby wipes than usual.

“You stinky baby. You’re so tiny, how can you poop like that…” He wondered and as soon as he was done he put her in the crib while he washed his hands trying to forget about the smell.

When he was done he walked back to the kitchen putting her back in her jumper then took a seat next to Louis to eat wanting to take a nap but sadly he had to go back to work. He spent the rest of the day working for Teen Vogue once again while Louis was at home tired of listening to blank space over and over almost on the verge of wanting to ban Taylor Swift from their home. He was sitting in the keeping room with each of the babies on their tummies on top of a blanket with Logan and Evan watching a movie when he heard the door opening and seconds later Niall walked in with Jeremy and Chloe next to him holding their hands.

“Hey Lou, you said I could let myself in.” Niall quickly said letting his kids run to Logan and Evan being careful around the babies.

“I know. What’s up?” Louis smiled moving over so Niall could sit on the floor next to him out of earshot from the rest of the kids.

“Months of unprotected sex finally paid off.” Niall grinned careful of not saying it too loud.

“What? You mean...you’re finally pregnant?” Louis gaped watching Niall nod before he wrapped his arms around him to congratulate him, “Let me love you, Ni!”

“Yeah, its a single baby this time.” Niall confirmed trying not to tear up.

After almost a year of trying and finally giving up once Louis’ triplets had been born both he and Zayn were finally going to have another baby.

“Congratulations! Does Zayn know?” Louis asked letting go of him.

“Yeah, he was there when I took the tests. We went to see Dr. Lane and I’m three months along. We were gonna wait to tell everybody but I wanted to tell you now, just you. Zayn and I are gonna tell the twins once I’m closer to my due date and the rest once I start showing.” Niall explained.

“I feel so special.” Louis chuckled wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“You are special.” Niall agreed.

He stayed there for the rest of the afternoon until it was time for him to go home and make dinner when Zayn had called him to ask where he was.

After that day, time seemed to pass by rather quickly and Louis couldn’t help but want to stop time and stop all of his babies from growing up yet he wanted to watch them grow and accomplish big things in life. When Niall started showing halfway through his fourth month mark he had told everybody about his pregnancy getting congratulated and a month later he happily announced he and Zayn were going to have another girl.

When the triplets turned six months old Lexie had scared the hell out of them when she had rolled off the couch and onto the carpeted floor in the playroom while she had been sitting next to Louis. She had let out an ear piercing cry getting picked up by Logan a few seconds later when Louis had been too stunned to react while Logan rubbed the back of her head and Evan watched with wide eyes from across the room.

When he finally reacted Lexie was already over it and snuggling close to Logan with her teddy bear in her arms that had LA on its chest in pink and sucking on her thumb. Louis had picked her up and hugged her close to him murmuring that he was sorry for not watching her like he was supposed to do. That night when they had gone to bed Louis couldn’t sleep at all still feeling awful about it just wanting to have them close to him but let them continue sleeping in their nursery in their own cribs.

“Lou, it was an accident. They happen all the time and it wasn’t your fault.” Harry murmured pulling Louis close to him then wrapped his arms around him.

“She was sitting right there and I didn’t even do anything...I didn’t even try to stop her from falling.” Louis whimpered remembering the bump on the back of Lexie’s head.

“It wasn’t your fault. Remember when Logan broke her wrist when she fell off the trampoline and Evan rode his bike into that ditch when I was standing right there and I couldn’t even react on time to stop him. It happens.” Harry kissed the top of his head.

“I still feel bad.” Louis murmured.

“And it still wasn’t your fault, she doesn’t hate you. She loves you, you’re her daddy.” Harry said.

“Gemma’s gonna throw a party for Hanna’s first birthday in a month.” Louis commented trying to change the subject.

“Already a year, time goes by so fast and in five more months the triplets will be a year old and Niall’s gonna have his baby in four months.” Harry said with a smile on his face.

“Yeah, Zayn’s so excited and even more ‘cause its gonna be a girl.” Louis commented.

“You think Liam would want another baby soon?” Harry asked.

“Nah, Eleanor told me she and Liam aren’t planning for another one. They’re content with Eric, remember he’s in the terrible two’s.” Louis chuckled.

Harry only smiled remembering Liam telling him he didn’t know what else to do with Eric when the little boy kept getting in trouble yet Harry knew Liam loved his son to death. Sure, at first Liam had had his doubts on whether he would be a good dad or not but he had proved to be a great one. He still regretted having broken up with Eleanor leaving her to deal with a pregnancy all by herself and if it hadn’t been for Louis being there to help her through out it then she would have had to do it all alone.

“Goodnight love, love you.” Harry mumbled hearing Louis murmuring an I love you before he too fell asleep only to wake up four hours later to three crying babies needing a diaper change.

~*~

A few days before Hanna’s birthday the triplets who were now seven months old had started teething and from then it their days were filled with fussy babies, Taylor Swift and Let It Go until Harry cracked banning both songs from the house at least for a little bit. Before leaving to go Doncaster Louis had made sure he had everything ready double checking so he wouldn’t forget anything. He made sure to bring enough teething rings for all three of the babies since all of them had their own ones.

“Daddy, he won’t shut up.” Logan groaned from the backseat already fed up with Owen crying.

“I know, wait until we find a gas station.” Louis said sighing in relief when a few minutes later Harry pulled over to get gas and Louis used that time to change his son’s diaper feeling bad when he saw how bad it was.

“Can we go get some snacks?” Logan asked already holding Evan’s hand in hers.

“Okay, wait a bit, have to wait for your dad.” Louis said and once Harry was back in the car with the triplets he made his way to the store with Evan and Logan not wanting to let him go alone afraid of something bad happening to them.

Once they had what they wanted they made their way back to the car then they were on their way to their hometown getting there two hours later. As soon as they had walked through the door Anne and Jay were quick to take their grandchildren to the kitchen while Louis and Harry busied themselves putting all of their stuff in the bedrooms they usually used when visiting. Harry being the overprotective parent that he was, took his time setting up the triplets portable cribs in the bedroom he and Louis were going to stay in not wanting them to wake Logan and Evan up in the middle of the night.

They spent the rest of the day together in their backyard where Louis let the babies try and crawl on the grass having to take Owen off of his sisters everytime he kept crawling on top of them. He would chew on their hands but never his own if they were there making both Lexie and Leighton cry always looking for a way to escape their brother. The only one who would let Owen crawl all over him and be rough was Evan while Logan liked to cuddle him and play with him but in a gentle way.

“Owen’s a meanie, yes he is.” Logan kissed all over Owen’s face after Louis had to separate him from his sisters laughing when Owen let out a high pitched scream and pushed her face away then rubbed his nose with his tiny hands.

“He’s just fussy, love.” Louis smiled.

She smiled when she saw the two tiny bottom teeth already having noticed the ones in her sisters then gave him his teething ring when he started fussing going back to her sisters. Louis took a seat next to Harry watching her walk towards where Gemma was sitting on the grass with Hanna and the rest of the babies and like always Hanna was being gentle around her cousins.

When Owen started squirming Louis let him down so he could move around a little seeing Evan coming out of the house with a popsicle followed by Anne who took a seat next to Robin. Once he made sure Owen was okay sitting next to Evan eating a bit of his popsicle he leaned against Harry smiling when Harry wrapped his arms around him and kissed his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	18. Your eyes, they shine so bright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this is the last chapter before the epilogue and I'm kinda sad but also happy. I hope you like this chapter, its not edited yet but I will do so later. Enjoy! :)

By the time the triplets were nine months old, Owen and Leighton were already pros at crawling while Lexie was a little behind not quite getting the hang of it yet sometimes getting upset whenever her siblings would leave her behind. It had only doubled his and Harry’s work whenever they would crawl everywhere forcing them to go after them but would smile whenever Leighton would stop and go back to her. Harry had lost count on how many times he had had to get Owen to stop pulling on Buttercup’s fur or get him to let go of Fitzgerald, the poor cat always struggling to get out of his or his sisters grasps.

Their favorite part was when they would put them in their playpen then watch them sit in a circle babbling to each other then giggle. Evan had found it amusing whenever he would join in and his siblings would only stare at him almost as if he had three heads then go back to their gibberish once their older brother would walk away. Throughout the months Evan had gotten a little bit overprotective when it came to his baby sisters always watching them and glaring at anyone who so much looked at them the wrong way.

~*~

“Evan, stop feeding her that!” Louis yelled as soon as he walked into the kitchen seeing his oldest son in front of Lexie feeding her his apple sauce.

“She’s hungry.” Evan rolled his eyes feeding her more smearing some on her chin and cheek until Louis took away his spoon.

“No she’s not, she just ate. You know it upsets her tummy and she’s gonna be so stinky later on when she goes potty.” Louis sighed taking her out of her high chair then wiped her face before putting her in her playpen doing the same with her siblings.

“I don’t change her poopy diaper, you do.” Evan shrugged before he grabbed another spoon then left the kitchen leaving Louis flabbergasted still standing next to the playpen. 

He finally snapped out of it when he heard babbling then sighed looking down and a smile immediately made its way on his face when he saw Owen cuddling both of his sisters as he babbled away. He reached for a few toys putting them in their playpen then went back to cleaning the hallway bathroom even though it was almost nine PM while Harry and Logan were out spending time together.

By the time Harry and Logan got back from the concert, Harry looked dead with bags and dark circles under his eyes while Logan was literally bouncing on the walls wearing and holding all her Taylor Swift merchandise.

“How was it?” Louis asked them from where he was sitting on the floor in the keeping room with the triplets climbing all over him and Evan furiously coloring far away from the babies to keep them from ripping the pages of his favorite coloring book. 

“It was okay.” Harry took a seat next to Louis picking Lexie up as she squealed happy to see her daddy, “All I keep hearing in my head is ‘I shake it off, I shake it off’ over and over again and it won’t go away. I need an aspirin.” 

“Oh please daddy, don’t act like you didn’t like it. It was the best concert ever and Tabitha, Lux and I had so much fun! Thank you daddy!” Logan ran to him kneeling down next to him then wrapped her arms around his neck kissing his cheek over and over again while Lexie stared then went back to chewing on the leg of her teddy bear. 

“You’re very welcome sweetheart, I’m just glad you and your friends had fun.” Harry smiled kissing her forehead.

“We did! I’m gonna go put my stuff away and take a shower.” Logan once again kissed his cheek then Louis’ before she walked away to her bedroom.

“That bad?” Louis asked as soon as she was gone.

“Not really, it was just too loud but it was okay. She was really good.” Harry smiled leaning down to kiss him pulling away when he felt tiny hands on his thigh, “Owen! How’s the little tiny man? Where did you leave your sister, huh? Come here bunny.” Harry picked him up seeing Leighton sitting next to Evan looking up at him waiting for him to pay attention to her.

“Let me go get you that aspirin, you look awful.” Louis chuckled getting up to get it.

“Uh, thanks. That makes me feel great, my self esteem is through the roof right now.” Harry joked as he made silly faces making Owen and Lexie giggle noticing Leighton finally making her way to him and soon enough she was in his arms too. “I missed you children, daddy’s back from war.”

“It was Taylo’ Swif’, daddy.” Evan said then giggled before going back to his coloring book.

“Which is war in my book.” Harry replied then smiled, “Come hug me, buddy. I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Daddy, I love you but I’m busy.” Evan loudly sighed then his eyes widened when he saw Harry pouting making him shot up from his spot to go hug him, “I’m not busy anymore, daddy.”

“I love you too bud. Why aren’t you in bed yet? Its past your bedtime.” Harry asked him kissing his forehead letting Evan kiss his cheek too then looked at the three sleepy babies, “Its well past your bedtimes too.”

“I’m not sleepy, I’m a big boy now and big boys go to bed when they want.” Evan shrugged and Harry couldn’t help but sigh knowing he was going to be a rebel later on.

“And bi- big boys also li- listen to their parents too.” Harry tried to say but his words ended up coming out muffled when Owen wouldn’t stop trying to grab his lips and squeeze them together with his tiny hands like he had done many times before with whoever was holding him except his baby sisters.

“But I’m not sleepy.” Evan insisted.

“Yeah but we’re all going to bed and you have to go to bed too.” Harry gave him a sad look that had Evan sighing.

“Okay.” Evan finally agreed.

Harry smiled then kissed his cheek before thanking him going back to kiss each baby when he noticed Louis standing on the doorway watching them with a smile on his face. Without saying anything Louis walked up to them giving him an aspirin and a bottle of water taking Lexie and Owen from them to change them into their pajamas. He got up and made his way to their bedroom followed by Harry who had Leighton in his arms and holding Evan’s hand.

They did their everyday routine with smiles on their faces and as soon as all of their kids heads had touched the pillow except for the babies, they fell asleep right away and before leaving the nursery Louis made sure all of his babies were comfortable and okay in their own cribs.

“I need a shower, I’m so sticky and gross.” Harry groaned just wanting to go to bed.

“For environmental purposes I think we should shower together, we need to save water.” Louis said trying to fight a smile but ended up failing when Harry furiously nodded like a child.

They showered together managing to finish fast even though half the time it was spent throwing water at each other or kissing. They changed into their pajamas then went to bed falling asleep right away glad that it was a sunday the following day and they would get to sleep in a little longer.

~*~

Louis was woken up at seven in the morning when he heard cries coming from the baby monitor then rubbed his eyes before lifting his head to see Owen sitting up in the middle of his crib crying his eyes out. He quickly got up to go get him before he could wake his sisters up and when he got there he was glad they were still asleep.

“What’s wrong baby boy, huh?” Louis cooed picking him up kissing his cheek as he checked if he needed a new diaper then set him down on the changing table to change it while his son sucked on his thumb lulling himself to sleep.

When he was done Owen was for some reason now wide awake refusing to go back to sleep until Louis sat down on the rocking chair and started humming a lullaby hoping for him to sleep at least one more hour. He would rub his tummy with his free hand seeing him closing his eyes but just when Louis would stop, Owen would open them again and make a little huffing sound and squirm until Louis would start rubbing his tummy again. He stayed there for half an hour until Owen’s tiny hand that he had placed on top of his went limp and Louis carefully got up putting him back in his crib then fixed his blanket and kissed his tiny forehead doing the same with Lexie and Leighton.

When he got back to their bedroom Harry was nowhere to be seen then figured out he must’ve gotten up for a run with Zayn and Liam then went back to sleep on Harry’s spot. When he woke up again it was to the smell of food, loud clattering in the kitchen and the tv guessing it was Evan when he heard the unmistakable scream of gumball then his son’s loud laughs. He slowly sat up seeing it was nine thirty then got up to the bathroom coming back out a few minutes later now fully dressed then made the bed before making his way to the kitchen.

The first thing he saw was the babies already in their high chairs with cheerios on their trays smiling when Owen pressed one against Lexie’s lips until she opened her mouth. Even though his baby girls were wearing the same pajamas they knew very well which one was which since Lexie tended to be more calm and less loud while Leighton was the complete opposite. Louis smiled remembering how proud Harry was of himself for being able to tell them apart no matter what just like he could.  
“Good morning, love.” Harry said as soon as he had seen him happily kissing Louis back as soon as Louis had done so.

“Morning! What are you making? Pancakes.” Louis hummed in approval moving to set the table looking around for Logan, “Where’s Logan?”

“Still asleep, she must’ve been exhausted from last night.” Harry informed him as he flipped a pancake then glanced at the door seeing Buttercup passing through to get to Evan in the keeping room.

A few minutes later Logan walked in wrapped head to toe with a blanket then sat down on a barstool trying to wake up just staring straight ahead. Louis wanted to say something when he noticed all they could see were her eyes and forehead since half her face was covered but ended up not saying anything when she dropped her head on top of the counter.

“You okay, lovebug?” Harry asked after a few seconds of silence.

“Tired. Hungry.” Logan muttered without lifting her head up, “Food.”

“Please wash your hands and take a seat love, its ready.” Louis said kissing the top of her head, “Evan, breakfast’s ready.”

When they finally sat down to eat Logan was a little bit more awake sitting next to Leighton while Evan was sitting next to Owen leaning away from him when his brother kept trying to reach for him and pull on his hair. As soon as they were done they cleaned up deciding to go to the park where they spent most of their day until Evan was passed out in Louis’ arms and while Louis held his son he couldn’t believe he would be turning six in less than two weeks.

When Evan turned six years old they didn’t hold back and threw a party in The Rain Forest Cafe just wanting him to have a good birthday party already planning Logan’s after they had celebrated her tenth birthday in the hospital. They were left satisfied when Evan and his friends seemed to be having fun and Louis just wanted to pick his baby up into his arms and cuddle him and never let go. That night when he and Harry tucked him in Louis stayed there a bit longer remembering when he held him for the first time six years ago and to him it seemed as if it had only been yesterday.

Christmas and New years eve was a blur for them except for when they got a call three hours later after they had left Niall and Zayn’s house from a very happy Zayn telling them Niall had gone into labour. Aaliyah Ariadne was born at exactly four in the morning and by the time Liam, Eleanor, Louis and Harry went to see them Zayn wasn’t ashamed to say he had cried a lot when he heard her cry for the first time. 

Her eyes were just like Zayn’s yet they weren’t sure if they were going to stay like that and Niall was just praying they would already getting ready to have another one if they didn’t turned out the way he wanted. Louis and Harry gladly watched Jeremy and Chloe the entire time Niall was in the hospital and when they finally got to meet their baby sister they had fallen in love with her, especially Chloe who wouldn’t stop trying to kiss her all the time always wanting to hold her. 

Zayn’s and the twins’ birthdays were celebrated a few days later and even though the party was for the twins, Zayn still had fun wearing his special happy birthday hat that happened to be a crown while Chloe had on a princess one and Jeremy had one similar to his daddy’s.

Harry’s twenty ninth birthday was celebrated at home with their family and friends and he hadn’t stop smiling the entire time always joking with them and even Mark who he had gotten a bit closer to throughout the years. Logan’s eleventh birthday all they could think about was how big she was getting and that in two more years she was going to be a teenager. They had decided to do it in Queens Ice and Bowl where they could ice skate, bowl or sing karaoke and had cheered for Logan when she sang her favorite songs before her friends joined her.

If Louis had cried a little because her older babies were growing up there was no high power able to stop him when the triplets turned one and that was the day when Lexie welcomed Louis in her bedroom early in the morning by saying her first ever word that happened to be ‘Hi!’. Harry had joked that at least it wasn’t cat like his and Louis’ first words until Owen shouted ‘Cat!’ at the top of his lungs as soon as he had seen Fitzgerald quickly making his way to him. 

They were expecting Leighton to at least take a few more weeks but after Logan kept repeating the word dog while pointing at Buttercup thinking it would be funny she almost died of laughter when Leighton finally pointed at Buttercup saying ‘Dog!’ over and over again.

“Who’s a year old today, huh?” Louis asked them leaning down to try and kiss them where they were sitting in their playpen just waiting for their families to get there.

“Hi!” Lexie answered before she giggled invading Leighton’s personal space.

“Hi is turning a year old today?” Louis asked her, “Wow, she’s getting so old.”

“Louis, you think three cakes is enough?” Harry asked walking into the kitchen holding three cakes, one on top of the other.

“Three cakes is more than enough, I think one would be enough.” Louis shrugged as he tried to get Owen to spit out a small piece of paper he didn’t know how the hell had ended up in there.

“What? No! They’re supposed to have their own cakes, Evan wanted to get them ones with The Backyardigans and Logan with The amazing World of Gumball. I got Owen one with those little dudes from the backyard and for the girls two similar ones with The Amazing world of Gumball ‘cause they’re identical. Get it?” Harry joked making Louis laugh and somehow roll his eyes at the same time finally getting Owen to spit out the piece of wet paper quickly throwing it away.

“You’re unbelievable.” Louis said hugging him from behind kissing the back of his neck then looked down seeing the cakes and two pink and one blue candles in the shape of a one.

“Your backyard friends, the Backyadigans.” Harry started singing shaking his hips a little making Louis laugh again, “Together in the backyard again.”

“In the place where we belong. Where we’re prob’ly sing a song. And we’ll maybe dance along.” Louis continued in between laughter.

“We’ve got the whole wide world in our yard to explore. We always find things we’ve never seen before. That’s why every day we’re back for more. With your friends, the Backyardigans.” Harry finished the song turning around to wrap his arms around Louis kissing his forehead.

“You know the Backyardigan’s theme song?” Logan asked carrying a paper bag followed by Evan who had paper plates in his hands.

“Yup.” Harry nodded taking the bag from her, “Thank you sweety.” 

Logan only nodded giving him a big smile then a few seconds later the theme song started playing from the keeping room seeing Evan already watching them. Logan entertained her siblings while Harry and Louis were finishing a few details when they heard the doorbell and seconds later their family walked in just as Logan had picked Lexie up debating whether she should just get in the playpen with them.

“Look at my babies, so grown up!” Anne walked in going straight to the playpen hugging Logan then Evan when he ran to her making grabby hands.

“Where are the birthday babies?” Jay followed her picking Leighton up then hugged Logan and Evan as well kissing them on the cheek.

“They’re talking now, just started today.” Logan informed them then kissed Lexie’s cheek while Anne already had Owen in her arms.

“What was their first word?” Jay asked her.

“Dog!” Leighton exclaimed pointing at Buttercup making the adults laugh.

“Logan taught her that word, Lexie’s was hi and Owen’s was cat.” Louis informed them giving his mothers a hug after he and Harry had hugged Mark and Robin as well as Gemma and a squirmy Hanna wanting to get down and walk.

“Cat, just like you and Harry.” Anne pinched Louis’ cheek then let it go before kissing it.

“Kept the tradition.” Gemma said as she wrapped her arms around her brother, “Hanna has been asking about you a lot.”

“That’s ‘cause she loves me, I’m her favorite uncle.” Harry said then looked around spotting her niece walking around Robin in circles then picked her up making her squirm a bit until she settled down in his arms. “How’s the cutest baby ever?” Harry kissed her cheek.

“Momma!” Hanna said patting Harry’s cheeks with her tiny hands.

“Hey! I’m your mummy.” Gemma placed her hands on her hips making her giggle before she grabbed her daughter seeing her making grabby hands at her.

“Dada?” Hanna continued looking around the room.

“He’s getting our stuff, pretty girl.” Gemma kissed her tiny forehead and all Harry and Louis could do was smile at each other happy that she was happy with her family.

Minutes later Ashton walked in followed by the twins, Fizzy and Lottie who didn’t want to miss their first birthdays as they greeted everybody. Ashton went straight to his daughter kissing all over her tiny face before he picked her up then bent down to put her in the playpen with her cousins. Owen was the first to welcome her by offering her one of his truck toys before Leighton crawled up to her followed by Lexie.

“They can’t walk yet, Hanna Banana, so be nice.” Evan reached down to brush his fingers through her soft brown hair smiling when she smiled up at him.

When their friends showed up all they could hear throughout the house were the children’s giggles after Jeremy, Chloe, Eric and Melissa had joined them and Alex chose to stay close to Logan, the twins and Lux and Tabitha. When it was time to sing the happy birthday song Louis just placed the triplets on top of the dining room table in front of their cakes smiling when Logan offered to hold Leighton in place while he had Owen and Harry had Lexie. 

They sung to them as loud as they could while Niall rocked Aaliyah from side to side looking up at Zayn with a big smile on his face before his husband kissed his cheek holding his twins on each of his hips. Liam looked around then down when he felt tiny hands around his leg then smiled as he picked his son up kissing his chubby cheek. He looked at eleanor who was busy taking pictures then out of nowhere looked at him giving him the warmest of smiles before Liam did the same.  
“Daddies, do they get to make a wish?” Evan asked his parents looking up at them with wide blue eyes.

“Not yet sweetheart, they will when they get older like you.” Louis explained leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

The triplets ended up needing help with the candles and Evan and Logan gladly helped them, as soon as they were done Owen didn’t waste time grabbing a handful of icing then put it in his mouth. Lexie and Leighton were quick to follow until Harry cleaned them up to take the family picture and like always, Gemma ended up taking it. It had been a great day for everybody especially Louis and Harry who were more than happy to share it with family and friends.

Almost three months later Owen took his first step in an attempt to get to Fitzgerald, they had all been sitting in the keeping room watching a movie when Owen had spotted him a few feet away from him. Determined to get to him and squeeze him in his arms he had used the couch to help himself up while Harry tried to hurry up and record the moment.   
They all watched with proud smiles how he slowly made his way to him with shaky steps and as soon as he was in front of the cat he plopped down in front of him and hugged him in his arms giggling when Fitzgerald nuzzled his face against his tummy.

Louis had immediately gotten up to hug and kiss him picking him up along with the cat then had brought him back to the rest where they had all formed a hugging circle praising him for having walked. Two weeks later it didn’t surprised Louis and Harry when Leighton took her first steps soon after they were back from work and had picked them up followed by Lexie soon after. 

Harry had just placed them down on the floor in the keeping room followed by Louis doing the same with Owen when Leighton screamed ‘Dog!’ then placed her tiny hands on the floor to help herself up before she fully sat up and slowly made her way to Buttercup who snuggled up to her as soon as she had her tiny arms wrapped around him.

Lexie watched her go with a pout on her tiny lips before she started crawling towards them then stopped before she looked up at Harry with wide eyes. Harry was quick to help her up then held her tiny hands letting her take a few tiny steps before he fully let go watching her go with a proud smile always ready to catch her. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist just watching her having given his phone to Logan to let her record and as soon as Lexie had reached her sister and Buttercup she joined in on the cuddle fest.

After that it was all cuddles while Harry and Louis looked at each other sharing a smile and a look that only said trouble ahead. Three curious babies that were walking now sounded like a handful but when they saw Evan quickly picking up one of his small action figures just as Leighton was going to reach for it then saw him kissing all over her tiny face making her giggle they knew they were going to be safe. They watched Logan playing peek-a-boo with Lexie and Owen making them giggle and cover their eyes too and they knew she was always going to be there for all her siblings no matter what.

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis hugging him tight whispering how much he loved him while Louis did the same so sure that as long as they loved and had each other and their children they were going to be alright, more than alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	19. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end! Thank you all so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments, I appreciate all of you and love you all so much. I hope you guys like it. Enjoy! :)

**_*4 Years Later*_ **

Years later and the only thing Louis and Harry could say was that they were stronger than ever, sure, sometimes they would argue over the littlest of things and give each other the silent treatment but one thing they never did was go to bed angry at each other. They would always make up before they even got to the bed and after a good talk and lots of kisses they would go to sleep content and so in love in each other’s arms.

There was never a dull moment in their house when it was always filled with laughs and screams, cries and arguments that would sometimes get physical between the younger ones until either parent would step in receiving a few unintentional punches while doing so since it wasn’t directed at them in the first place.

“Honey, I’m home!” Harry shouted walking into the kitchen to see three hyper five year olds running to him and attaching themselves to whatever part of him they could.

“Daddy you’re back!” Lexie grinned showing him her two missing bottom teeth.

“We missed you!” Leighton continued also showing him her missing teeth even though hers were already coming out.

“I missed you more.” Owen said trying to climb his leg until Harry bent down to hug them all.

“I missed all of you monkeys.” Harry hugged them.

When he pulled back he smiled at them kissing each of their cheeks letting them go after they had kissed his own getting up soon after. He watched them go taking in Owen’s dark brown curly hair and Lexie and Leighton’s long and straight dirty blond hair that he just loved putting tiny bows on.

“Harry?” Louis called his name from the keeping room making him walk there and as soon as he saw Louis he smiled rushing over to him.

“How are you, love?” Harry kissed his lips never losing his smile then looked down at the tiny two month old baby boy Louis was holding against his chest, “And how’s my little baby, I missed you Oliver.” Harry kissed his tiny fist then his forehead making him squirm a bit.

Oliver Noah had been born under unusual circumstances when a year or so before both Harry and Louis had agreed that five kids was enough and after a pregnancy scare they decided that Harry would be getting a vasectomy done.

The day he was supposed to get it done Louis had been called in to be a monitor during testing forcing Harry to go alone and when he got back Harry was already home taking a nap. Louis had let him sleep so he could rest after the procedure and before bed he understood when Harry refused to talk about it knowing it must’ve been hard on him. Those were his boys after all.

Nothing happened for two whole months since Harry needed time to heal until the day Louis woke up horny as hell trying to wake Harry up and after a sleepy Harry had agreed, Louis had helped himself ending up riding him letting him come inside him not worrying about getting pregnant. Harry ended up acting strange all day long and when Louis finally confronted him Harry had told him he just had a headache then had fucked him into the mattress twice that same night. He had used a condom but Louis never questioned it thinking he just didn’t want it to get messy.

Three, almost four months later was when Louis started getting sick and after having gone through three full term pregnancies and a visit to Dr. Lane’s office, he confirmed he was almost four months pregnant. And in that moment he started freaking out to the point of calling Niall over who was there faster than lightning leaving his three kids with Zayn.

“What do you mean you’re pregnant! Didn’t Harry get that shit done?” Niall asked as he pulled on his hair while Louis paced back and forth in front of him already crying his eyes out.

“He did! And now I don’t know how I’m pregnant. Oh god! He’s gonna think I cheated on him!” Louis sat down next to Niall covering his face with his hands letting out loud sobs,

“He’s gonna think I’m a whore!”

“Lou, calm down. There must be an explanation, maybe Harry still had viable mini Harry’s and those are the ones that knocked you up.” Niall said as he rubbed his back trying to calm him down.

“I’m almost four months and he had that done almost six months ago! He was already sterile by then.” Louis broke down crying again.

“I hate to be the one to tell you this but you’re gonna have to tell him.” Niall paused when Louis’ sobs only got louder, “Oh! What if this baby is a miracle baby, it's a blessing Louis. The odds of getting pregnant weren’t exactly in your favor.”

“Of course its a blessing, all my babies are a blessing no matter how I conceived them but...I love it already but Harry can’t have babies anymore and here I am, pregnant again.” Louis wiped his tears away almost jumping out of his skin when he heard something breaking in the kitchen.

He and Niall were fast to go and investigate since they were alone and when he saw him standing there with broken glass on the floor in front of him Louis almost passed out then and there.

“Uh, I’m gonna go. Zayn needs help with the kids.” Niall said mouthing ‘call me’ to Louis then left leaving them in complete silence and in that moment Louis was glad the kids were in Doncaster with their grandmothers’.

“I can explain, I swear I don’t know how I got pregnant. I didn’t cheat on you, you have to believe me.” Louis quickly said watching Harry rubbing his hands on his face then took a step forward.

“I know you didn’t cheat on me.” Harry said then out of nowhere wrapped his arms around Louis hearing his sobs.

“Then I don’t know how.” Louis sobbed.

“I have to tell you something, I didn’t tell you before because I was embarrassed and it- its ridiculous.” Harry took a deep breath then made Louis walk back to the keeping room taking a seat on the couch.

“What is it?” Louis asked as he wiped his tears away.

“Remember that day I was supposed to get that vasectomy done?” He asked then continued when Louis nodded, “Well, I was already there waiting and I kept seeing some men walking out and it looked so painful but I thought nothing of it. And then...when I was already there the doctor was going to anaesthetise me and- and the needle was so fucking huge and I…”

“You what?”

“I…”

“You what!? Harry Edward, tell me! Now!” Louis demanded.

“I chickened out! I started freaking out and I chickened out. I am not sterile.” Harry confessed hiding his face with his hands.

Minutes felt like hours when no one said anything and Louis only blinked trying to understand what Harry had just confessed and when he did, he felt relief flooding through his body. He observed Harry seeing him now hiding his face with a couch pillow and gently pulled it away.

“I am so sorry! I swear I was going to tell you but I was so embarrassed and then we had sex that morning. I was still too sleepy and I forgot about the condom.” Harry started tearing up.

“Hey hey, its okay. I’m not angry okay, I know it must’ve been so scary.” Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck.

“But I lied to you, and now you’re pregnant again when you said five kids was enough.” Harry sniffled resting his head against Louis’ chest.

“Yeah but this new baby is a blessing and it will be our youngest, don’t forget Logan’s gonna leave for college in three years or so.” Louis rubbed his back.

“Don’t remind me, my baby girl is so big already. Almost as tall as you.” Harry said.

“Hopefully this one will be a boy, we get to find out soon.” Louis smiled.

“Actually, since this is our last one, can we wait until it's born to know the sex?” Harry asked.

“Whatever you want, babe.” Louis kissed the top of his head.

Telling the kids that they were gonna have to wait to know what it was almost drove them crazy until five months later when Oliver was born after Louis had gone into labour in the middle of Evan’s football game. He had tried to wait it out but when his water broke just as Evan scored the last goal that led them to victory he couldn’t anymore. Evan, along with his siblings had been so excited that they abandoned the game getting many congratulations on their way to the car and forty five minutes later their baby brother had come out crying louder than ever with no signs of vision loss.

“Harry? Harry!”

Harry only blinked after Louis had snapped him out of his thoughts seeing Louis putting Oliver on the couch next to him on top of a blanket. Oliver only stretched his tiny arms and legs out, yawned then closed his green eyes sucking on his pacifier while Louis rubbed his tummy.

“Did you get it? Same breed but different?” Louis asked.

“Yeah, I left him in the garage. As soon as Evan and Logan get here from Liam’s I’ll go get him. You think they’ll like and accept him?” Harry asked already getting worried.

“I hope so, its been a year and a half.” Louis said suddenly feeling a lump in his throat.

Harry only hugged Louis knowing he missed Buttercup as much as he and the kids missed him after a year and a half when their beloved dog had passed away in his sleep from old age. It had been completely heart wrenching when Harry had found him that morning in the keeping room since Logan was at a sleepover in Lux’s house and he tended to sleep in her room when she was around. He had called out for him and when Buttercup never got up when he always did Harry immediately knew something was wrong. All he had felt was a big lump in his throat, his chest hurting and his eyes stinging with tears when he finally realized having to call Louis who had started crying as well.

Telling the kids was difficult but telling Logan had almost been impossible when she got home calling for him and as soon as they had told her she had burst out crying refusing to move from Buttercup’s side. In the end they had buried him in their backyard letting each kid say a few words and after that Logan had cried the whole day to the point where she could barely open her eyes always cuddling Fitzgerald who they could see was also grieving.

She went from crying all day to randomly bursting out crying throughout the day for a whole week and when Harry kept getting calls from the school so he could pick her up, they started getting worried. She slowly started getting better and when Oliver had been born she seemed a little happier doting over her baby brother always wanting to hold him.

“We’ll know soon. Liam texted me saying they’re on their way.” Harry said and as soon as he had finished talking both Logan and Evan walked in through the front door.

A ten year old Evan was the sweetest boy anyone would ever meet except when someone dared mess with his siblings while a fifteen year old Logan was the kindest girl out there always willing to help. As soon as they had stepped into the room she was quick to go to Oliver picking him up and cradling him against her chest hating that even though she had said no to boobs, she had gotten them anyway.

“Bubbie!” Both Leighton and Lexie screamed as soon as they had seen Evan quickly running to him wanting him to hold them.

“Its Evan, you clones.” Evan huffed but picked them up anyway kissing their cheeks making them giggle while Owen clung to Logan wanting her attention that she happily gave.

“Evan, don’t call them that.” Louis scolded him.

“Its true.” Evan shrugged taking a seat next to Logan then turned to his younger sisters asking them if they were clones to which they happily agreed wrapping their skinny arms around his neck.

“Okay! Now that you’re all here daddy and I have a surprise for you.” Harry happily announced then walked to the garage to get the Golden Retriever who was still a puppy.

“A puppy!” The triplets shouted jumping out of their seats to pet it while Logan and Evan stayed in their spots watching the new puppy play with their siblings.

“He’s just eight weeks old, he’s a boy and he doesn’t have a name yet.” Harry informed them getting nervous when their older children did nothing.

Louis was about to say something when Logan slowly gave him Oliver then made her way to the puppy getting on her knees in front of him followed by Evan. She picked him up holding him against her chest and soon a small smile made its way on her face.

“What should we name him?” She asked kissing in between his ears.

“Lucky.” Evan said out of nowhere then hurried to explain when everyone looked at him, “Because we’re lucky to have him so his name should be Lucky.”

“Yeah, Lucky fits him.” Logan agreed letting her brother hold the new family member.

After that it was fun and games and when Fitzgerald accepted him as one of his own much like the rest of the kids and recently also Oliver, they were happy. Louis would always watch Fitzgerald and Lucky when they were around Oliver in his swing until the day he burst out laughing trying to record their cat slowly rocking Oliver back and forth when he had started crying. He had stopped as soon as Oliver had quieted down then had run out of there as soon as he saw the triplets going after him.

~*~

As far as they have lived there and the schools their kids attended they had always been accepted until the day they were called in by the school and since Louis was already there all he had to do was wait for Harry. Four months after giving birth, Louis still got exhausted after walking too fast and was still trying to get back in shape and by the time he got there he was already trying to catch his breath.

Louis’ eyes had widened as soon as he had walked into the principal’s office seeing Evan with a black eye then his eyes settled on the kid sitting in front of him with a bloody nose, a split lip and a bruise on his cheek. He had immediately made his way to his son trying to see if he was okay and after the other kid’s parents showed up, Louis remembered having seen them before figuring out they were the ones who had recently moved from the US.

“What happened?” Harry was the first to speak then turned to look at Evan who only shrugged, “Evan, what happened?”

“He called you and dad faggots, he had it coming when I told him to stop and he didn’t.” Evan glared at the boy whose name they had learned was Tyler.

“Its true.” Tyler rolled his eyes.

“Enough!” The principal shouted then turned to Tyler’s parents that somehow looked embarrassed, “We do not tolerate that kind of behavior here, either he learns to respect and be accepting of others or you can start finding another school.”

“We are so sorry,” Tyler’s father said then turned to look at both Louis and Harry, “I am so sorry, my mother had custody of him up until a few months ago...she raised him. Tyler, apologize.”

“Tyler!” His mother glared at him when he said nothing.

Harry and Louis as well as the principal looked away as soon as Tyler’s father started talking to him trying to make him understand until Tyler shouted an alright then apologized asking his parents if they were happy after doing so. They were quick to accept his apology while Evan glared at him deciding that he would forever be in his black list, he didn’t like him at all. They were both suspended for two days when Evan was forced to apologize too making Louis wonder if all of his children would be destined to get into fights at school hoping for a no.

Harry ended up taking Evan with him and after a long talk where Evan kept insisting that he had it coming to the point were his eyes got watery, Harry finally let him off the hook understanding that his son was just trying to protect them. He had explained why it wasn’t okay to violently respond to those kind of comments then had let him go so he could go back to work after a long hug. That night during dinner Logan had high five him for not putting up with assholes like him getting scolded by Louis for using that kind of language in their home and while the younger kids were present.

“Its true, dad.” Logan rolled her eyes then grabbed a napkin to wipe away the mashed potato on Lexie’s chin smiling at her sister.

“Daddies, I got a gol’en star ‘cause I finished all my work and Leigh’on and Lexie didn’t.” Owen proudly announced pleased with their proud smiles directed at him.

“Yes I did.” Leighton pouted and when Owen denied it she reached for him wanting to hit him but sadly Lexie was in between them and no way in hell was she going to accidentally hit her sister.

“Yes she did.” Lexie defended her sister sharing a smile with her then both of them went back to eating doing everything at the same time.

“Owen, sweetheart, how many times have I told you it's not okay to tell lies. You want to tell me why?” Louis said knowing he had lied about his sisters since he had already checked their backpacks.

“Cause it makes loved ones sad.” Owen automatically responded.

“Yes, that’s right. That’s why we don’t lie, we always tell the truth.” Louis smiled then looked at Oliver sitting in his highchair next to him already sitting up yet Louis made sure he wasn't going to topple over.

They continued eating their dinner then Logan and Evan helped Harry clean up the kitchen while Louis bathed the baby and supervised the other’s bath letting them play for a little bit. When it was time for bed Harry fell asleep rather fast followed by Louis until Oliver woke them up and Harry let Louis sleep after he had noticed prominent dark circles under his eyes earlier that day.

Since Owen and Oliver shared a room, they were still letting Oliver sleep with them in his crib at least until he learned to sleep through the night not wanting him to wake Owen up. As soon as he was in Harry’s arms he let out a few whimpers while Harry busied himself making him a bottle only quieting down as soon as he started eating.

“You’re such a hungry little baby. My hungry little nugget.” Harry murmured taking a seat on the couch in the keeping room with only the dim light of a lamp.

He smiled when Oliver grabbed the sides of the bottle slowly eating until the bottle was almost empty and his eyes were getting droopy. Once he was done he patted his back until he heard a tiny little burp glad that he had a cloth on his shoulder when he noticed a bit of spit up. He put the empty bottle in the sink then walked back to the bedroom putting him down in his crib making sure to put a hat on his little head seeing the brown straight hair sticking out from the sides before he went back to bed and fell asleep right away.

As the days passed by Logan grew more and more attached to Lucky still missing Buttercup and when she missed him the most she would always go to the place where they had buried him and would always leave a flower from Louis’ garden. She would stay there for a few minutes then leave to go back inside and try and help her parents with the chaos that were her siblings.

When she walked in her parents were nowhere in sight but Evan was on the floor in the keeping room with the triplets over him having decided to gang up on him. He was screaming and begging for mercy while the triplets only giggled trying to tickle him everywhere they could and Lucky was running around them yapping at them. Logan quickly picked him up before he could tug on Evan’s pant leg leaving him to fend for himself knowing that to some extent he was having fun too. She was still sitting on the couch with Lucky on her lap when Louis walked in with Oliver in his sling completely passed out.

“You went to the store?” Logan asked him getting up to help him with the bags.

“Yeah. Where’s your father?” Louis asked her looking around for Harry so he could help him take Oliver to sleep in his crib.

“I don’t know.” Logan answered already going through the bags smiling when she found her favorite juice.

“He’s in the shower ‘cause Lucky peed on him.” Evan yelled trying to get up but ended up falling again on his back when Owen jumped on top of him not caring if he was being too rough.

“Owen, quit pulling on your brother’s hair!” Louis scolded him as he placed Oliver in his swing he had moved to the kitchen.

“Yeah you little booger, quit pulling on my hair...you too clones.” Evan said finally getting up.

Louis watched him run out of there followed by the triplets knowing that Evan was going to be as tall as Harry while Logan had gotten her size from him, something he had known ever since she was a little three year old girl. Lexie and Leighton were tall for their age while Owen was a few inches shorter than them and Oliver had been Louis’ biggest baby and Louis wish he would be as tall as Harry too.

That afternoon when they finally sat down for a movie marathon Louis had spent it babying Evan and even though he acted like he was annoying him he knew Evan loved the attention, always did and always would. He wrapped an arm around him when Evan rested his head by his shoulder making kissy faces at Oliver who would giggle whenever Evan would tickle him. By the time it was over the triplets were passed out on the floor in the middle of the keeping room cuddling each other and Logan was snuggled up against Harry already about to fall asleep after the long day.

When summer was finally there Louis got busy with his garden while Evan mowed the yard only because Harry had bribed him with tickets for a football game even though Louis had insisted that he was supposed to do it anyway. He could see Logan standing under the shade of a tree in the part of the backyard Evan had already mowed with Oliver in her arms and three hyper little kids taking turns on the swing. He looked up towards the deck when he heard the door closing and seconds later Harry was walking down the stairs wearing a white shirt and shorts after he had to go run a few errands which was grocery shopping.

As soon as Evan had seen him he quickly let him continue mowing what was left of the yard rushing inside to get water and when Harry was done he took a seat on the stairs taking Oliver from Logan. He kissed his chubby cheeks then Lexie’s when she plopped down next to him expecting him to hold her too which he gladly did.

“Are we really camping out here tonight?” Logan asked him taking a seat next to him.

“Mhm, we really can’t go camping this year but I think it will be perfect here, just the eight of us.” Harry smiled hearing Evan’s footsteps.

“When can we set up the tents?” Evan asked sitting behind him.

“As soon as we eat lunch.” Harry answered.

When they finished eating lunch Evan was already impatient waiting for Harry so they could go out and set the two tents up since he would be sharing with the rest of his siblings except Oliver. As soon as they were outside Evan was already excited helping his dad and even letting the triplets help and when they were done Louis had made something for them to eat.

That night after lots of games they finally went to bed in their own tents but later that night Louis and Harry ended up in the middle of the sleeping bags with Oliver on Harry’s chest and the rest of their kids surrounding them plus Lucky and Fitzgerald. They smiled at each other happy that they had gotten a bigger tent knowing they were going to end up sleeping with their kids.

Leighton and Lexie were cuddled up in their own little corner while Logan had her arms around Owen and Evan was snuggling up to Louis with Lucky and Fitzgerald in another corner. It was starting to get a bit stuffy and Oliver kept squirming on Harry’s chest about to fall asleep but they had never been more comfortable and content in their lives. After Logan had opened the tent just a bit to let fresh air in she went back to sleep and Louis tried not to laugh when Oliver started smacking both of Harry’s cheeks at the same time while Harry tried to playfully bite them until he stopped almost asleep.

“We’ve been so busy all day that I didn’t have a chance to tell you I love you.” Louis smiled getting a bit closer to Harry.

“I know you love me and I love you too.” Harry said leaning his head a bit to be able to kiss him.

“I was remembering the day we officially met, when I was riding my bike.” Louis chuckled, “That was the best day of my life because I met you and we had so much fun that day.”

“That was such a long time ago...we were only thirteen.” Harry happily sighed remembering that day so well.

“It was twenty years ago. Wow, I feel old.” Louis said moving his head to rest it near his shoulder next to Oliver’s tiny face.

“Best day of my life.” Harry concluded making Louis smile expressing all of their love through their eyes and fond looks.

“And it was, who would’ve known we would end up married and with six children, well...seven if you count the one we lost.” Louis said somehow still feeling a bit of pain but throughout the years it had become bearable even though it never stopped hurting.

“Seven, we never got to hold it but it was still our baby.” Harry said moving his arm so Louis could rest his head on it then started running his fingers through his hair.

“Seven.” Louis agreed and after a moment of silence he smiled again, “I love you, always.”

“I love you too.” Harry smiled, “Forever.”

They didn’t say anything else and instead couldn’t help but keep smiling remembering their younger selves riding their bikes together, rolling down the hill in their mum’s backyards and climbing trees or just getting in trouble. They would always remember and cherish those memories as well as the ones with their kids, family and friends and the new ones they were going to make. And it was exactly like they wanted, they made new memories watching their children grow still knowing they had forever, a lifetime together and more.

 

**_The End_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> Don't hate me because of Buttercup, I cried enough tears to flood the entire United States.

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter! Hope it was good, things might be a bit rushed since I'm still trying to decide a few things. I don't know when I'll update again but i'm hoping next Tuesday or Wednesday night. Updates will be weekly.


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